Things You Are Not Stoked On

[MOE SYZLAK]

Solid advice here guys, Sniff yeah my wife has an anxiety disorder. It's not too bad but it does come into play from time to
time.
ART: thanks for the perspective, I understand the resentment building, at this point it's like Im married to a brick wall. I'm a very affectionate person and have gotten none of that in return, I can't even get a kiss or anything. How is the therapy going for you? Is it helping anything?

[yapple dapple]

This article really bummed me out, cuz I lost some good friends.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/05/upshot/opioid-epidemic-drug-overdose-deaths-are-rising-faster-than-ever.html
Why the Fuck are dealers cutting with fentanyl? Yeah it's stronger and cheaper but why would you want to kill off your costumers?
Repeat business is where the revenue is at.

[artless]

Solid advice here guys, Sniff yeah my wife has an anxiety disorder. It's not too bad but it does come into play from time to
time.
ART: thanks for the perspective, I understand the resentment building, at this point it's like Im married to a brick wall. I'm a very affectionate person and have gotten none of that in return, I can't even get a kiss or anything. How is the therapy going for you? Is it helping anything?

Oh man... the resentment. I sincerely hope it all works out. Me, therapy is ok... rollercoaster but managing. The wife is ultra understanding and my kid has been pretty awesome and supportive, wise beyond her years. Thanks for asking.

[MOE SYZLAK]

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Solid advice here guys, Sniff yeah my wife has an anxiety disorder. It's not too bad but it does come into play from time to
time.
ART: thanks for the perspective, I understand the resentment building, at this point it's like Im married to a brick wall. I'm a very affectionate person and have gotten none of that in return, I can't even get a kiss or anything. How is the therapy going for you? Is it helping anything?

[close]

Oh man... the resentment. I sincerely hope it all works out. Me, therapy is ok... rollercoaster but managing. The wife is ultra understanding and my kid has been pretty awesome and supportive, wise beyond her years. Thanks for asking.

Thanks Art, I have been looking up councilors all day today and have it narrowed down to a few I can afford.
She actually asked me today if she should just move out. I told her that we needed to attend a few marriage counseling appointments so we can find the underlying problems and make some changes, Also that I would pay for all of the sessions. I also told her that if she was unwilling to attend any of the sessions that if she still didn't want to I don't know what more to do other than split.

[Tracer]

This article really bummed me out, cuz I lost some good friends.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/05/upshot/opioid-epidemic-drug-overdose-deaths-are-rising-faster-than-ever.html
Why the Fuck are dealers cutting with fentanyl? Yeah it's stronger and cheaper but why would you want to kill off your costumers?
Repeat business is where the revenue is at.

It's free advertising. If the streets know you have the OD shit you sell out in minutes.

[straight]

moe..two things i learned from going to a counselor (alone) after having somewhat similar marital problems that worked for us

1) shared income (i make all money while she is stay at home mom) and now she controls it by paying bills, grocery shopping, misc expenses. before i controlled all the money and didnt give her an allowance because i was bad with money and there wasn't any leftover. she saw it as me buying things for myself and that she got nothing. now she pays for everything and we are now starting to save up.

2) you need to be appreciative of your wife..this was huge for me..once i started make an effort to be extra nice and compliment my wife on all the different chores and miscellaneous activities she does with my son that i can't do because of work, she took notice and subconsciously started being super nice back. (BJ's again) jk but not jk..even when i know my wife is wrong, instead of heating up like i used to, i try and take a step back and come up with a solution that she can agree with vs arguing that i am right..

in short, if you make an effort to be nice first, there's a strong chance she will be nice back

im still working on myself but hope there's something in what i said that can help you

[MOE SYZLAK]

moe..two things i learned from going to a counselor (alone) after having somewhat similar marital problems that worked for us

1) shared income (i make all money while she is stay at home mom) and now she controls it by paying bills, grocery shopping, misc expenses. before i controlled all the money and didnt give her an allowance because i was bad with money and there wasn't any leftover. she saw it as me buying things for myself and that she got nothing. now she pays for everything and we are now starting to save up.

2) you need to be appreciative of your wife..this was huge for me..once i started make an effort to be extra nice and compliment my wife on all the different chores and miscellaneous activities she does with my son that i can't do because of work, she took notice and subconsciously started being super nice back. (BJ's again) jk but not jk..even when i know my wife is wrong, instead of heating up like i used to, i try and take a step back and come up with a solution that she can agree with vs arguing that i am right..

in short, if you make an effort to be nice first, there's a strong chance she will be nice back

im still working on myself but hope there's something in what i said that can help you

Thanks Straight , really helpful and insiteful. I'm really glad I reached out to the Pals. Some people will never understand what a great community this place is .

[artless]

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moe..two things i learned from going to a counselor (alone) after having somewhat similar marital problems that worked for us

1) shared income (i make all money while she is stay at home mom) and now she controls it by paying bills, grocery shopping, misc expenses. before i controlled all the money and didnt give her an allowance because i was bad with money and there wasn't any leftover. she saw it as me buying things for myself and that she got nothing. now she pays for everything and we are now starting to save up.

2) you need to be appreciative of your wife..this was huge for me..once i started make an effort to be extra nice and compliment my wife on all the different chores and miscellaneous activities she does with my son that i can't do because of work, she took notice and subconsciously started being super nice back. (BJ's again) jk but not jk..even when i know my wife is wrong, instead of heating up like i used to, i try and take a step back and come up with a solution that she can agree with vs arguing that i am right..

in short, if you make an effort to be nice first, there's a strong chance she will be nice back

im still working on myself but hope there's something in what i said that can help you

[close]

Thanks Art, really helpful and insiteful. I'm really glad I reached out to the Pals. Some people will never understand what a great community this place is .

Good advice Straight. And Moe, having peer feedback, even if just to vent, is a good thing. A lotta smart dudes here. Slap is awesome.

[somethingmustbreaknow]

from the "things you are stoked on"-thread

things are going well with this girl, that i've first seen
four years ago in class at university and then lost out
of sight until last year. since then we've become close
friends and now there's also the sexual attraction. coo

easy come, easy go.

[doublesteveburger]

Hoping for the best for you Moe. Straight's advice is solid as hell.


I'm currently caught in the middle of a break-up between two good friends and as much as I told myself I wouldn't get caught in the middle or "choosing sides", it looks like it's heading that way. I've been as civil and objective as possible with each but one side basically ripped my head off for not disclosing information about the other.

It's an incredibly awkward situation and it makes me feel like a shitty friend whichever way this goes.

Don't wanna just bail on two friendships, but being a nice person sure feels fucking awful 99% of the time. Gonna start just not giving a shit or chucking my fucking phone into the Colorado river.

[behavioralguide]

Hoping for the best for you Moe. Straight's advice is solid as hell.


I'm currently caught in the middle of a break-up between two good friends and as much as I told myself I wouldn't get caught in the middle or "choosing sides", it looks like it's heading that way. I've been as civil and objective as possible with each but one side basically ripped my head off for not disclosing information about the other.

It's an incredibly awkward situation and it makes me feel like a shitty friend whichever way this goes.

Don't wanna just bail on two friendships, but being a nice person sure feels fucking awful 99% of the time. Gonna start just not giving a shit or chucking my fucking phone into the Colorado river.

you gotta tell them too,
was in smae situation and it sucked, but youve got to be clear on these things

[shit_for_brains]

So when they yell at you to tell you you're a shitty friend, cut them off and tell them why they're shitty friends for not only putting you in that position but for then being self absorbed blinded-by-their-own-self-interest assholes for attacking you for it. Tell them it's their fault they stepped in shit and to stop tracking it all over your carpet. If they want you to choose sides, choose yourself.

[behavioralguide]

So when they yell at you to tell you you're a shitty friend, cut them off and tell them why they're shitty friends for not only putting you in that position but for then being self absorbed blinded-by-their-own-self-interest assholes for attacking you for it. Tell them it's their fault they stepped in shit and to stop tracking it all over your carpet. If they want you to choose sides, choose yourself.

+ this but,
 its them being in a (shitty) breakup which can be stressful and make you prone to feelings of betrayal etc.
just be the understanding and try to explain you position.

you can always walk away, but coming back after you do is harder i noticed

[doublesteveburger]

So when they yell at you to tell you you're a shitty friend, cut them off and tell them why they're shitty friends for not only putting you in that position but for then being self absorbed blinded-by-their-own-self-interest assholes for attacking you for it. Tell them it's their fault they stepped in shit and to stop tracking it all over your carpet. If they want you to choose sides, choose yourself.

Thanks for the input, dudes.
This resonated with me, thanks SFB.

[yew genovila]

The weed Ive been getting was like some crazy Korean mafia weed lately. But this tree I got today is shitty old and dusty.

[el chino]

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Solid advice here guys, Sniff yeah my wife has an anxiety disorder. It's not too bad but it does come into play from time to
time.
ART: thanks for the perspective, I understand the resentment building, at this point it's like Im married to a brick wall. I'm a very affectionate person and have gotten none of that in return, I can't even get a kiss or anything. How is the therapy going for you? Is it helping anything?

[close]

Oh man... the resentment. I sincerely hope it all works out. Me, therapy is ok... rollercoaster but managing. The wife is ultra understanding and my kid has been pretty awesome and supportive, wise beyond her years. Thanks for asking.

[close]

Thanks Art, I have been looking up councilors all day today and have it narrowed down to a few I can afford.
She actually asked me today if she should just move out. I told her that we needed to attend a few marriage counseling appointments so we can find the underlying problems and make some changes, Also that I would pay for all of the sessions. I also told her that if she was unwilling to attend any of the sessions that if she still didn't want to I don't know what more to do other than split.

this is the best you can do man.
let her move out BUT be aware that there is a possibility that she might cheat on you and it may hurt and it sucks but this will give you some leverage while going through divorce.
best of luck man, keep the dogs.

[JB]

i was driving home last night passing this farm and a car coming the other direction was stopped and flashing its lights at me. i slammed on the breaks right before i wouldve plowed into a mother deer and her fawn, but someone had already hit the fawn and broke its back legs. we got out of the car and it managed to crawl its way into the ditch and was hiding in the tall grass and the mother had walked up a hill to get away from us. i knew there was nothing i could do for it, but i picked it up and carried it to the top of the hill so that it didnt die in the ditch. the poor thing was crying like a goat (ive never heard deer make a noise before) as i was carrying it and it was really sad knowing that i couldnt do anything to help it. i called animal control and they said they wont come out unless theyre getting paid and they dont hospitalize injured animals. the DNR offices were closed so i had to call the police and tell them where there deer was. i didnt stick around, but they were sending an officer to come put it out of its misery.

that shit happens all the time around me but ive never held a wild animal in my arms that was screaming in pain. it was pretty sad.

[kook nukem]

Focused my fucking account again. After a bad day of skating due to lack of sleep, I decided all extraneous internet usage was evil. Should have slept on it. I hate my "all or nothing" attitude sometimes.

[shit_for_brains]

Focused my fucking account again. After a bad day of skating due to lack of sleep, I decided all extraneous internet usage was evil. Should have slept on it. I hate my "all or nothing" attitude sometimes.

[kook nukem]

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Focused my fucking account again. After a bad day of skating due to lack of sleep, I decided all extraneous internet usage was evil. Should have slept on it. I hate my "all or nothing" attitude sometimes.

[close]

It's good to be back.

[ChuckRamone]

my upstairs neighbors still suck. today they've been making loud clattering and banging noises upstairs. pretty sure they're doing it on purpose 'cause I banged on my ceiling last week when they woke me up in the middle of the night. I have the urge to go up there with my baseball bat and bash their door down.

[mynameisnotjeff]

my upstairs neighbors still suck. today they've been making loud clattering and banging noises upstairs. pretty sure they're doing it on purpose 'cause I banged on my ceiling last week when they woke me up in the middle of the night. I have the urge to go up there with my baseball bat and bash their door down.

My friend had neighbors with the same shitty attitude. They would complain about the noise he made listening to music out loud at 10 PM or for smoking both indoors and outdoors but, they would decide to rearrange their house at 3 AM or just drop heavy shit. Dude's moving out after a year and has gotten to know the manager well from all the visits he's made to my friend but, never got in any trouble which is cool

[shitcunt]

i was driving home last night passing this farm and a car coming the other direction was stopped and flashing its lights at me. i slammed on the breaks right before i wouldve plowed into a mother deer and her fawn, but someone had already hit the fawn and broke its back legs. we got out of the car and it managed to crawl its way into the ditch and was hiding in the tall grass and the mother had walked up a hill to get away from us. i knew there was nothing i could do for it, but i picked it up and carried it to the top of the hill so that it didnt die in the ditch. the poor thing was crying like a goat (ive never heard deer make a noise before) as i was carrying it and it was really sad knowing that i couldnt do anything to help it. i called animal control and they said they wont come out unless theyre getting paid and they dont hospitalize injured animals. the DNR offices were closed so i had to call the police and tell them where there deer was. i didnt stick around, but they were sending an officer to come put it out of its misery.

that shit happens all the time around me but ive never held a wild animal in my arms that was screaming in pain. it was pretty sad.

Sounds awful man. Good on you for doing the right thing and carrying it out of the ditch and calling the right people though.

[Pigeon]

bursitis on the heel and the area beneath my 2nd biggest toe...both on my left foot.

[MintySandwhich]

Girlfriend of four years (who I live with) came home last night and broke it off with me.

She admitted that she thinks we need to have some space apart. It was mentioned that we are growing at different levels and shit. I'm 24, going to school, and not making that much money yet. I'm honestly heart broken. She said that we could have a date in about three months and go from there. I'm not sure if that will even be worth it. She said that she would love to be together, and she wants it to work, but she doesn't' know what to do. I don't know what's gonna happen.

It's gonna be a long day

[mynameisnotjeff]

Girlfriend of four years (who I live with) came home last night and broke it off with me.

She admitted that she thinks we need to have some space apart. It was mentioned that we are growing at different levels and shit. I'm 24, going to school, and not making that much money yet. I'm honestly heart broken. She said that we could have a date in about three months and go from there. I'm not sure if that will even be worth it. She said that she would love to be together, and she wants it to work, but she doesn't' know what to do. I don't know what's gonna happen.

It's gonna be a long day

Try to stay level headed. It sucks but if it's not meant to work it's not meant to work and chances are you'll find someone better.

[MintySandwhich]

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Girlfriend of four years (who I live with) came home last night and broke it off with me.

She admitted that she thinks we need to have some space apart. It was mentioned that we are growing at different levels and shit. I'm 24, going to school, and not making that much money yet. I'm honestly heart broken. She said that we could have a date in about three months and go from there. I'm not sure if that will even be worth it. She said that she would love to be together, and she wants it to work, but she doesn't' know what to do. I don't know what's gonna happen.

It's gonna be a long day

[close]

Try to stay level headed. It sucks but if it's not meant to work it's not meant to work and chances are you'll find someone better.

Thanks man

[lampshade]

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Girlfriend of four years (who I live with) came home last night and broke it off with me.

She admitted that she thinks we need to have some space apart. It was mentioned that we are growing at different levels and shit. I'm 24, going to school, and not making that much money yet. I'm honestly heart broken. She said that we could have a date in about three months and go from there. I'm not sure if that will even be worth it. She said that she would love to be together, and she wants it to work, but she doesn't' know what to do. I don't know what's gonna happen.

It's gonna be a long day

[close]

Try to stay level headed. It sucks but if it's not meant to work it's not meant to work and chances are you'll find someone better.

[close]

Thanks man

That's a rough one.  Just live your life like the relationship is over, which it almost certainly is.  Get the living situation figured out ASAP (who's moving out).  Cut contact, hang with your friends, skate, work, school, do your thing, stay busy.  Good luck.     

[the snake]

don't forget to wear a condom on that 3 months rdv, seems like she wants to have "fun" during that break, no offence pal

[shit_for_brains]

I always treat break ups as absolutely unequivocally final. No breaks. If we aren't working we aren't working and I wish you the best in life.

Get the living situation sorted ASAP for real. Go stay with friends or whatever. Don't continue to live together. Don't go find peace in a bar, you'll just make yourself feel worse. Go do stuff during the day and skate a lot. Wait a couple of weeks and get on tinder and fuck your way out of this.