I think I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.
as most of you know my girl is coming out of cancer treatment and we had to put our wish to have babies on lock forever. not going to happen. ever. That hurt especially when I'm at age most couple are becoming parents.
My friends except maybe one or two were assholes. Self centered dicks I USED to call my best friends and who called my maybe 3 times in 6 months.
On facebook the only interaction I get from that guy is some half assed semi sarcastic 'funny' comment on ANYTHING I do.
For example: I play this HUGE festival this summer, stage in front of 5000 people. Everyone was into it, had great respones, even the local news paper was into it etc... I come off stage, gave that guy a guestlist? His response 'yeah it was ok'
Example 2:
A local HC that was superpopular in the 90's gave me permission to remake their old shirts so I could seel them. All the profit will be donated to cancer research. All of it. In 6 hours I sold 78 shirts which shows how popular that local band was and the pre-order is up for . People had asked them before and they always refused but they gave me permission. Me personally.
Alright preorders are up, I know my friend LOVED that band when we grew up. His response 'oh no, I'm not buying one... i'm good'
Shit like that... fuck that dude.
His girl now had an operation because she had twins of which I'm the godfather of one. And expects me to check up on her and feel sorry for her everyday. It's isn't comparable to what my girlfriend has been through....
Funny story: my girlfriend just heard they had to remove her uterus and could NEVER have children. Well knowing tis, the guy calls and said he he was going to be come a dad.
Stuff like that all the time. I always try to do good even now when i'm carrying and immense weight. And it's just never good enough for that guy. Even now instead of helping me he reacts all jealous about anything I do.
Is it me, or is this guy poisonous?
I need friends that lift me up or that I could at least talk to...
Bud I hear you and I know it sucks when friends ditch out on you for lame reasons and I have had to watch friends die on the road and in hospital bed from Cancer takes a 200lb diesel cut person like Weck but they were so thin a child could pick them up.
my heart definitely goes out to you in this time. Look man as we get older and people fade away for whack reasons, remember it is yourself whom is going to be your best friend and not saying anything against your old lady or wishing anything but the best but it is you who is the person that comforts yourself in bad times and so on and so forth.
I found this poem by Chuck Bukowski about loneliness and gives insight on many situations i see on this forum
“I've never been lonely. I've been in a room -- I've felt suicidal. I've been depressed. I've felt awful -- awful beyond all -- but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me...or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I've never been bothered with because I've always had this terrible itch for solitude. It's being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I'll quote Ibsen, "The strongest men are the most alone." I've never thought, "Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I'll feel good." No, that won't help. You know the typical crowd, "Wow, it's Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?" Well, yeah. Because there's nothing out there. It's stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I've never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn't want to hide in factories. That's all. Sorry for all the millions, but I've never been lonely. I like myself. I'm the best form of entertainment I have. Let's drink more wine!”
― Charles Bukowski