second half since it won't let me post all at once
TODD PRINCE STORY
(We pick the story up in the parking lot, see Todd Prince sidebar for complete story*)
..They tore him off me, then they held me down on the ground. So I'm fighting with three bouncers. They had him too, but he broke loose, ran up and kicked me in the mouth; twice! BOOM, BOOM. And the only thing that happened was my lip split open, and I was bleeding and spitting shit out. I was with this girl, and she looked at me and said, "Your teeth are gone!" I went, "What?" So he was on his bike and I went to my car and got this knife I had, and I said, "Fuck, I"m gonna stab him. I'm gonna stab him in the leg." but the girl I was with said, "no, you can't do that, you'll go to jail." Whatever. Then he took off on his bike.
DC: Did he punch you when he left?
Yeah, he did. It was a pussy punch, though. Texans are supposed to be crazy, right? Pussies. I'm being fucking held down on the groudn by three guys and he runs up and kicks me twice in the face. Oh, real tough. That's why he moved to San Jose, because he's a sucker in Texas. He fucked my teeth up. It's over. Fuck those guys. They're just faggots. Fuck San Jose.
DC: Is he paying to fix your teeth?
Yeah. I got $1300 on me right now. Hey, check it out--that piece of pizza that got slapped in his face? With all the money he's gonna pay me, he could have fucking started his own pizza place. He's a sucker.
THE ANTI HERO VIDEO
It was at the Haight St. Hooker's House. Julian was staying there. Me and Ruben were getting drunk with these girls in the living room. John and Julian were in the kitchen and they had set up a video camera. They called me in there, adn I was all, "Whut?" and when I went in there, they jumped me! Beat me up! Gave me a couple of black eyes. Whatever. It don't matter. So then we called Ruben in and beat him up. So the four of us ended up in the kitchen drinking beer, getting fucked up. Then John says, "I got to puke!" I'm all, "all right, I got what you got." He just stood up, and BLAH! All over the floor. Whatever he had, I puked too. He puked again, and I had just as much as he had. Whatever amount he had, I had the same amount. He could just stand up and puke. I had to stick my finger down my throat, but we matched each other puke for puke. We just filled this whole kitchen with puke.
Then the cops came because the neighbors thought they heard gunshots, so everyone hid in rooms until they left. But there was this one guy passed out in the living room, and you don't sleep in this house. You just don't do that there. So we started grabbing glasses and throwing them at him, and kicking him and beating him up and he was all scared. We hit him with one of those big CostCo dish washing liquid bottles! We opened the door and kicked him down the stairs into the back alley by the Haight St. projects, and right then the cops rolled up again and grabbed him and threw him in teh back of the car. "What's going on up there?" "Uh, I don't know. These guys just beat me up and threw me down the stairs." The cop was about to come up and investigate, but he gets a call on his radio for a high speed chase or something. So the cop gasses it and takes off with this sucker int he back of the car. He didn't do nothing and he got stuck in the middle of a high speed chase.
THE ENGLISH FAGGOT
We weren't even looking for trouble that night. Arco, Julian, Ruben and me were just out having a good time. We were having drinks and this fucking faggot, from England, walks up and says," You guys are faggots, huh?" We were like, "WHAT?" It don't work that way. We were sober too. That made me pissed. I said, "I'm gonna drink and I'm gonna get this guy." He kept looking at us from across the room, pointing at us. He was like a NAMBLA faggot, or something. Oooo, I just wanted to beat his ass. Someone calls you a faggot, man, you gotta stick up for yourself. You got to fight. So I got myself drunk, finished my beer, stuck the bottle down my pants, and told the guy, "outside. Let's go fight down in the alley." I'm walking down there, and I hear footsteps behind me and I thought, "nuh-uh, this ain't right." So i pulled the bottle out of my pants, turned around--BOOM! Bottle in the face! Dropped him! He was doing the fish! "ER-ER-ER!" I fucking cut my finger open and left Joey's skateboard in the bar, but I was scared so I got out of there. But fucking Joey wanted his skateboard back, so he went back to go get it. Sure enough, the cops were waiting for some sucker like him to show up.
SUBURBIA
Jake and I went to the D.I. show and we were all fucked up, and there was this guy selling brass knuckles. I said, "Fuck I want to fuck somebody up," so I bought some. Then I went into the pit, and I started going the wrong way, and these guys got all mad at me and took me down and started beating on me. Fucking kicking me in the head and shit. The brass knuckles were stuck in my back pocket, and I was so fucked up I couldn't get them out. They ended up having to carry me out on a stretcher. I buy these brass knuckles, and then, not even five minutes later, I'm being carried out on a stretcher! I didn't even get to use them! When I finally woke up, I said, "I'm going back in there. Fuck that! I'm gonna get these guys." I go back into the show, cause my trouble, and they knocked me out again! Just laid me out. Joey seen the guy sucker punch me so he says, "I'm gonna stick up for Andy. I'm going to get them for you Andy." So he goes over to the bar across the street from the show and says, "Hey, fuck you guys. You fucked with my friend Andy." Then teh whole bar rolled out and beat the fuck out of Joey. It was a knock out fest.
"I NEED A HIT LIST"
CP: Did you say Jake Phelps has a "hit list"?
He made a hit list for me.
CP: Is Dave Carnie on it?
Nah, just people he wants me to beat up, but I want my own hit list. I already crossed Jason Adams off.
SKATE QUESTION?
CP: What's it like riding for Consolidated, compared to other companies you've ridden for?
Riding for Consolidated is great. They know I'm a trouble maker. I rode for NHS, and they're faggots. I swear they're homos. Jeff Kendall was team manager and I skated for him, but I didn't get along with a lot of the guys on the team. I just thought they skated like faggots--except for Jaya, he was a bad ass. So they freaked out and they had this meeting with me. They put me in this fucking office for an hour and a half! It was like being dragged into the principal's office: "You're not doing good in school. You're not going to make it. You're not going to graduate." Except they were talking about skateboarding! They were just lecturing me: "Well, skateboarding is like this, Andy: you have to dress a certain way, you have to do crooked grinds, and kickflips, etc." Fuck, I don't skate like that. "Well, you don't fit in." Whatever. Kick me off, then. So a week later they kicked me off. I was sponsorless for a long time, but it don't matter. I just skateboard. I tried to ride for Acme, but I guess Bob Denike called up Remy and told him that htey wouldn't want me, that I was a bad influence. But then Christian asked me to ride for him, so I hung out with them. It was cool, but I was still living in the ghetto. I've been homeless for four years now. Couch touring for four years! It gets hard sometimes. Anyway, I went to this trade show and Alan and Jason asked me if I wanted to ride for them. I said, "Fuck yeah! But make sure your other riders want me to ride for them." At the same time, Focus was sending me to Australia. They sent me over there with all their money, but I knew I was going to ride for Consolidated. I was scared when I got back. I had to tell them, "Uh, I ride for Consolidated." Fuck it. I got to look out for myself. I'm still homeless, but I make more money now. I can spend money on girls and hump girls. I can tell lies and stuff. I lie a lot. Hey, to get girls, you've got to lie. You can't be yourself. You got to tell phony stories. That's how you get laid. It's awesome. But since my teeth got kicked out, it's hard now. I'm having trouble. I used to have a pretty smile. I worked on my smile. And I have pretty eyes, but now it's gonna be hard to get pussy. I'll have to buy it and shit. I'll go to Capp Street. I'll buy seven dollar headers. It don't matter.
*TODD PRINCE SIDEBAR
I'm interviewing Andy for BB, and I wanted to hear about how you kicked his ass.
Well, I'm not stoked on it at all. Andy's my buddy. I love Andy. A lot of fucking people are coming up to me and shaking my hand and shit, and I don't appreciate that. This is some serious shit that's costing me four grand a lot of pain and suffering for Andy.
Um, well, I just wanted to hear about what happened.
All right. We all went out on New Year's night. Me and JJ Rogers, Jason Adams, Crazy Eddie--there was about eight of us, and we were going to ride bikes to this punk show over in Campbell. Andy was with his girlfriend that night and they didn't have bikes, so I told Andy to just kick it downtown, and we'd hook up with him later. Andy wanted to go to the show because he knew that these guys he had gotten in a fight with a couple of weeks before would be there. He just wanted to go there to start shit. So when we're leaving, Andy calls me and JJ fags. No big deal. JJ goes, "Hey, FUCK YOU ANDY!" and we leave. So we get there and we're getting fucked up, and sure enough, Andy shows up and gets in about five different episodes at the bar within an hour, because he just wants to start shit with these guys, but it never got down to a fistfight. And I don't know what happened, but when we were leaving the bar I bought some pizza for me and JJ. So I'm sitting on my bike eating pizza, and you got to understand that I was almost in black-out mode, and I go to take a bite and Andy walks up and goes, "FUCK YOU TODD!" and he shoved it in my face. He was playing, I reckon, but he was playing hard. It really pissed me off to get that hot pizza in the face,you know, but I didn't say to myself, "I'm going to kick his fucking teeth out!" I was just gonna give him a good socking for doing that to me. So I get off my bike, and I go, "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" and I"m chasing him around the parking lot and he's going "EEEEE! EEEE!" you know, the "Andy scream." And then these bouncers grabbed us. Two grabbed Andy and two grabbed me. And they had Andy ont he ground. I told the ones that had me, "when you let go of me, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass!" and they let me go, and Andy was on the ground about five feet in front of me, and when they let me go, I just threw a kick, and it caught him right in the mouth. I didn't even know that I knocked his teeth out till the next day. And so I kicked him, and everyone went, "ooooh." I mean, mohawks wilted. No one was punk no more. I didn't even know. And then, he was walking to his car, I rode past him on my bike and I hit him again, on the side of the head, and I said, "Don't ever fuck with me, Andy. I'll kill you!" And that's pretty much it. You know, you don't go around kicking people with steel-toed boots. I could have killed the guy or really fucked him up. I mean, I"ve talked to him since. We're trying to get his teeth fixed. I don't think he hates me, but, you know, eventually we'll be friends again. You know Andy, man, he's always starting shit. Two days before, he told JJ that he wanted his teeth knocked out. He said, "I don't give a fuck, I want my teeth knocked out. I want dentures." Well, they'll make him some new ones.