SUPER DRUNK:
This girl says "You can sleep at my house, but no hanky panky!"
10 minutes later I am attempting to have sex for about 2 hours.
Whiskey dick, so I say "Let's try in the morning."
That was the first time with that girl, pretty fucking hilarious, only time I have had whiskey dick.
GRANDPA:
One time I was having sex totally naked in the summer sun in the middle of the day with my girlfriend when my grandpa walked in the front door. Awkward. He then closed the door, walked around to the other side of the house, and knocked, pretending to have just arrived. So hilarious.
ROLLING STONE:
I also used to date this girl that was super hot, but would only have sex in the missionary position, and would remain silent and not move the whole time. It was fucked up. Had to have been a daddy problem.
HANDJOB:
One time I was getting a hand in the woods on some overgrown back trail miles from nowhere, some guy came walking down the trail, and just walked on by, it was hilarious.
MUSCLE RELAXANTS:
One time this gamey asian chick fed me some pills and tried to seduce me. It didn't work.