Awkward Sexual Experiences

[Tarela]

the only awkward thing i can think of or that really happened to me when i was 18. I had a fuck buddy at the time and we would always get drunk and text each other like wanna meet up? So one night we did and instead our usual spot (my car) she sneaked me in to her bed room. Now this girl gives the worst head like i could never cum while getting head but she just didn't know how to satisfy a man. So we were fooling around and i started to go down on her, to show her up on how to really satisfy someone. Now i never gave head to a girl before but i watched a lot of girl girl porn so i wanted to give it a try. She gave me 1 second of trying and just said she felt awkward and she said she wanted to give me head, i just said na thats alright and i kind of begged her to let me go down on her but she kept on saying no. That was a pretty awkward

Just recently when i hooked up with my first tinder girl ever she was in my bed and getting undressed so i started to undo her jeans and kind of making my way down there and she just said "um what are you doing" i said "im about to give you head" and she said no. I was really bummed and then the sex wasnt that good either so i was super bummed.

Do girls my age not like getting their pussy eaten out?

I only know one chick who isnt into that, she works as a massage therapist so maybe she probably treats sex different, im sure she prolly has given enough happy endings and shit that its now impersonal.

One awkward sexual experience (for me atleast) I was hooking up with this Spanish chick years back she was cool, while we were going at it doggystyle and she calls me daddy. Thats normally a cool experience but she was about 10 years older than me, I know its stupid to even realize or care but for half a second i was kinda thrown off but then just went with it.

Another time with the same girl. were going at it missionary and she lives in a kinda sketchy neighborhood, while were hooking up we start hearing arguing outside but still going at it then maybe a minute later gun shots break out in front of her building,we stop im still inside her and its dark so were just there like wtf? after 30 secs or a min we got right back to it somehow. I dont even remember hearing cops or anyone respond to it. I think i was planning on leaving after sex because i like sleeping in my own bed but i ended up crashing for obvious reasons.

[JB]

the only awkward thing i can think of or that really happened to me when i was 18. I had a fuck buddy at the time and we would always get drunk and text each other like wanna meet up? So one night we did and instead our usual spot (my car) she sneaked me in to her bed room. Now this girl gives the worst head like i could never cum while getting head but she just didn't know how to satisfy a man. So we were fooling around and i started to go down on her, to show her up on how to really satisfy someone. Now i never gave head to a girl before but i watched a lot of girl girl porn so i wanted to give it a try. She gave me 1 second of trying and just said she felt awkward and she said she wanted to give me head, i just said na thats alright and i kind of begged her to let me go down on her but she kept on saying no. That was a pretty awkward

Just recently when i hooked up with my first tinder girl ever she was in my bed and getting undressed so i started to undo her jeans and kind of making my way down there and she just said "um what are you doing" i said "im about to give you head" and she said no. I was really bummed and then the sex wasnt that good either so i was super bummed.

Do girls my age not like getting their pussy eaten out?

i think younger guys arent really into that, or at least claim they arent. i didnt get laid until i was in my 20s, but i would hear my friends talk about sexual stuff and most of them acted like eating pussy was gross. so maybe the girls youve been with have only been with guys who didnt eat pussy and they arent totally comfortable with it. my girlfriends ex didnt and she said she was super self conscious the first few times i gave her head. she said she had only been eaten out a few times before i did it to her and she was always really nervous, and it was never satisfying. i think with anything sexual you have to be comfortable for it to be pleasureful.

i cant imagine a girl who doesnt like getting eaten out though. if shes hesitant, i would just go slow into it, get her real wet with your hands before you just dive in and start off real slowly.

[Bloody Matt]

Do girls my age not like getting their pussy eaten out?

I think for many women receiving oral sex isn't something that happens the first time you're intimate with someone. Quite common in my experience, really. It's not exactly practicing safe sex.

[doublesteveburger]

I just remembered being seventeen and falling asleep during sex from being violently high... the girl was pretty bummed. it's whatever.



you guys ever go ass to mouth?

[Dr Steve Brule]

I just remembered being seventeen and falling asleep during sex from being violently high... the girl was pretty bummed. it's whatever.



you guys ever go ass to mouth?

I've had a couple good experiences with it in high school.  Haven't done it since then though, not on purpose at least

[shark tits]

sometimes ya gotta go ass to mouth.
kinda crazy how in the early 90s 'people say i'm nasty cause i eat the cat' and now it's like a dis 'you don't even eat ass'. i think it's more something you're into when you are taking substances and girls can take it or leave it. or i haven't met one that's crazy about it anyways.

[sports]

I just remembered being seventeen and falling asleep during sex from being violently high... the girl was pretty bummed. it's whatever.



you guys ever go ass to mouth?

probably the best post I've read on slap in a long long time

[Wizard Fight]

the first time i had sex with my boyfriend at the time, i accidentally peed on him

i got gag reflex from sucking another guy's dick and threw up on him

I know a handful of grrls who've puked on dicks but you're the first guy. Congratulations!

[ThugWaffle]

Expand Quote

I just remembered being seventeen and falling asleep during sex from being violently high... the girl was pretty bummed. it's whatever.



you guys ever go ass to mouth?

[close]

probably the best post I've read on slap in a long long time

[posguy]

the only awkward thing i can think of or that really happened to me when i was 18. I had a fuck buddy at the time and we would always get drunk and text each other like wanna meet up? So one night we did and instead our usual spot (my car) she sneaked me in to her bed room. Now this girl gives the worst head like i could never cum while getting head but she just didn't know how to satisfy a man. So we were fooling around and i started to go down on her, to show her up on how to really satisfy someone. Now i never gave head to a girl before but i watched a lot of girl girl porn so i wanted to give it a try. She gave me 1 second of trying and just said she felt awkward and she said she wanted to give me head, i just said na thats alright and i kind of begged her to let me go down on her but she kept on saying no. That was a pretty awkward

Just recently when i hooked up with my first tinder girl ever she was in my bed and getting undressed so i started to undo her jeans and kind of making my way down there and she just said "um what are you doing" i said "im about to give you head" and she said no. I was really bummed and then the sex wasnt that good either so i was super bummed.

Do girls my age not like getting their pussy eaten out?

I remember my first time doing it, I was hooking up with this girl in Philly who I met in class. I told her I had never done it before and she was surprised but gave me pointers and what to do. The primary factor to going down on a girl is be enthusiastic about it, a lot of girls might be self conscious about how they smell/taste so they don't like it as much. Also be straight up with the next girl, say hey I've never done this before, will you help? I can't think of any girl that will say no.

I just remembered being seventeen and falling asleep during sex from being violently high... the girl was pretty bummed. it's whatever.



you guys ever go ass to mouth?

I yawned twice during a blowjob. Girlfriend was pissed. No sex that night.

You never go ass to mouth, unless she asks and then she knows what's she's asking for.

[Candygirl]

[Dr Steve Brule]

I always 69 with a girl before ass to mouth.

I like to know what I'm getting into, via a close up view

[posguy]

Found this girl online whose name was "Margaret" or something online, that sort of name that you're immedietely worried about, like Evelyn. We talk for a minute and then agree to hook up, she goes to the college a few blocks from my apartment. She comes over and when I come out the door expectantly looking for someone, she knows its me and I instantly know why her online profile didn't have a pic on it. I just sacked up, put a movie on and fucked her for a bit. She left afterwards and left her earrings at my place. Didn't talk to her again.

I fucked my roommates ex, he set it up after she came to visit and she thought I was cute and cool or whatever. She comes over on a weekend and is going to spend the night and it's sort of agreed on that she's sleeping in my bed. So we're in bed feeling each other and one thing leads to another and we fuck for most of the night. Turns out to be a total freak, my back is covered in scratches, I tied her up and she blindfolded me. It was wild. Thing is though she was really thin. Like anorexic thin and I was a little turned off by it. I cooled down and we ended up going our separate ways. Enter in new roommates 3-4 months down the road and they know my ex roommate and stuff. I come home one day to find her in my apartment and turns out she's dating one of my new roommates but is denying that we ever had sex. Roommate was a really cool dude luckily and laughed it off. We all hung out the rest of the time I was there, got high, smoked hookah, kicked out kook roommates and generally had a chill time.

[JB]

ive went ATM a handful of times and id say i was drunk probably every time. my girl was probably drunk too because if i start getting a little too close to her asshole when were sober she usually stops me. its never one of those planned things, just kind of like everything is going good and getting a little intense, so i just dive in.

its alright. she seems to like it if i finger her from behind or fuck her with a dildo while eating her ass. most of the time there not really a bad taste. id say its more of a mental hurdle to get over licking a butthole. one time it did have more of a taste though, not super foul, but weird. i remember kissing her afterward and her saying something like "ugh.. so thats what my asshole tastes like?"

[shark tits]

ive went ATM a handful of times and id say i was drunk probably every time. my girl was probably drunk too because if i start getting a little too close to her asshole when were sober she usually stops me. its never one of those planned things, just kind of like everything is going good and getting a little intense, so i just dive in.

its alright. she seems to like it if i finger her from behind or fuck her with a dildo while eating her ass. most of the time there not really a bad taste. id say its more of a mental hurdle to get over licking a butthole. one time it did have more of a taste though, not super foul, but weird. i remember kissing her afterward and her saying something like "ugh.. so thats what my asshole tastes like?"

you're the gonz of this ATM click.

[posguy]

So it's not a for sure every time but... smoking weed makes your sperm hyper and they won't reach the egg if you cum inside your girlfriend... the more you know
http://www.webmd.com/men/news/20031013/smoking-marijuana-lowers-fertility

[doublesteveburger]

a wise man once told me you're not a man until you eat a chick out on her period.



unknowingly did that in the dark once, felt like a fucking vampire afterwards, wasn't as bad as it sounds... wasn't as good either.




I'm glad I have a place to let these terrible things out. I love you SLAP. 

[straight]

So I was doin my girl in her bed not sure what the position is called but I think it's lazy doggy style where she's on her stomach and I'm laying on top. It was winter to we got the sheets over us and in walks her mom. As I hear her open the door I roll us both over so we are spooning. Her mom starts blabbing and carrying on a conversation meanwhile I'm balls deep in her daughter. I think she knew but she acted like whatever. Somehow I stay hard and finish the job when she leaves. Strangely a very similar version of this happened with her roommate before except that time i know her friend was just trying to walk in on us.

[ttching!]

So it's not a for sure every time but...smoking weed makes your sperm hyper and they won't reach the egg if you cum inside your girlfriend...the more you know
http://www.webmd.com/men/news/20031013/smoking-marijuana-lowers-fertility

I've done my own studies on the subject, and this is definitely not true at all.

[Nanda Zinger]

a wise man once told me you're not a man until you eat a chick out on her period.



unknowingly did that in the dark once, felt like a fucking vampire afterwards, wasn't as bad as it sounds... wasn't as good either.




I'm glad I have a place to let these terrible things out. I love you SLAP. 

One time I got super drunk with this chick and went back to my spot. Eat her out then fuck her, all drunkenly and in the dark. Had to work an opening shift the next morning, so in a hungover state, i just throw on the shirt i had worn the night before and bike to work. Get to work only to realize that the chick was obviously on her period. My hands were covered in hella period blood and the bottom of my t shirt too. The funny thing is that i worked at buffalo exchange with hella hot girls and they all looked at me with disgust that morning. I wore a flannel off one of the racks that day.

[Random Matt]

A few comments on recent topics:

-I've heard many girls say that receiving oral sex is more intimate than sex, they want to know someone before letting their mouth down there.  It's not very safe to do with a stranger as was also pointed out earlier.

-I have my red wings, done it a few times, the worst part about it is the taste a tampon leaves in the puss.

-I thought ATM, Ass-To-Mouth, was when you pull you dick out of the butthole and put into her mouth; you guys seem to insinuate that ATM and salad-tossing are interchangeable terms.  I could be mistaken as I've often misconstrued simple ideas; up until a year ago I thought Frisbee Golf was played by smacking a throwing disc with a golf club.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

-I?m pretty sure ATM, Ass-To-Mouth, is when you pull you dick out of the butthole and put into her mouth

yeah, it is! at first i was reading this and thinking whu then i just realized they were just tossing salad

[Random Matt]

Just tossing salad?!! I try, but my girl always stops me, I suppose that's kinda awkward.

[Bobby Peru]

So I was doin my girl in her bed not sure what the position is called but I think it's lazy doggy style where she's on her stomach and I'm laying on top. It was winter to we got the sheets over us and in walks her mom. As I hear her open the door I roll us both over so we are spooning. Her mom starts blabbing and carrying on a conversation meanwhile I'm balls deep in her daughter. I think she knew but she acted like whatever. Somehow I stay hard and finish the job when she leaves. Strangely a very similar version of this happened with her roommate before except that time i know her friend was just trying to walk in on us.

Similar thing happened to me this summer, except it was a cop who walked in and we were on the beach. It was dark. We had a fire going and he just told us to make sure we put it out when we go home.

I thought ATM, Ass-To-Mouth, was when you pull you dick out of the butthole and put into her mouth; you guys seem to insinuate that ATM and salad-tossing are interchangeable terms.  I could be mistaken as I've often misconstrued simple ideas; up until a year ago I thought Frisbee Golf was played by smacking a throwing disc with a golf club.

You are correct about ATM and I wish you were correct about frisbee golf.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Just tossing salad?!! I try, but my girl always stops me, I suppose that's kinda awkward.

i don't think it's too much of a big deal these days.
my wife isn't down but i'm not really phased; been there, done that. i also don't think it's a spur of the moment type thing either (even though people definitely do it in the heat of the moment).
so yes, "just" gawd when i first started reading ATM i thought "man it sounds like there is a lot of freaks out there". real ATM isn't really something that you are going to encounter (outside of porn) on a regular basis. seriously, think of it from the girl's/ guy's point of view *vomits*

[fookya]

Roughly this time last year, a close female friend of mine set me up with one of her coworkers. We were casually dating for about 3 months or so. Early on into that time we went out to dinner and ended up at her apartment. One thing led to another and we're doggy style on her bed, no condom and she asked me to cum on her back. I obviously waited till the last second and pulled out and accidentally came on her sheets, she was cool about it and laughed it off. To make a long story short, over the next 3 months the same exact scenario happened 10 or so more times. Needless to say she got over that pretty quick haha I don't really know why we broke things off, but we're going out tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll have another sheet soiling story to share on Saturday morning.

[posguy]

I also used to date this girl that was super hot, but would only have sex in the missionary position, and would remain silent and not move the whole time. It was fucked up. Had to have been a daddy problem.

I hooked up with a newly converted or soon to convert Mormon chick is Roseberg who would only do it missionary. She was hella hot and hella fit too. Gotta love high school volleyball players!

Whenever I come home drunk, I'm too filled up to wait until I punch in the garage door code, go up the stairs, take off my shoes to avoid waking anyone up and then get to the bathroom to finally unload. So I go against the wall, and attempt to construct figures like skyscrapers or giant wallflowers with my urine. I tried to get a picture last time but the roll had ended already. One day.

We need a craziest piss story thread. It was my 21st birthday, the night before so some bars were touchy but we hit a few places. Around midnight we get back to my friends dorm building and head down to the basement because there's a bathroom down there. Being the most drunk I fall behind and end up at the back of the line for the bathroom. I make it through my friend going but while the other guy is going I lose it, grab my junk like it's going to explode, hobble into the laundry room and piss in the trash can. Pretty sure there was a security camera in that room too.

[Candygirl]

Expand Quote

I also used to date this girl that was super hot, but would only have sex in the missionary position, and would remain silent and not move the whole time. It was fucked up. Had to have been a daddy problem.

[close]

I hooked up with a newly converted or soon to convert Mormon chick is Roseberg who would only do it missionary. She was hella hot and hella fit too. Gotta love high school volleyball players!

Expand Quote

Whenever I come home drunk, I'm too filled up to wait until I punch in the garage door code, go up the stairs, take off my shoes to avoid waking anyone up and then get to the bathroom to finally unload. So I go against the wall, and attempt to construct figures like skyscrapers or giant wallflowers with my urine. I tried to get a picture last time but the roll had ended already. One day.

[close]

We need a craziest piss story thread. It was my 21st birthday, the night before so some bars were touchy but we hit a few places. Around midnight we get back to my friends dorm building and head down to the basement because there's a bathroom down there. Being the most drunk I fall behind and end up at the back of the line for the bathroom. I make it through my friend going but while the other guy is going I lose it, grab my junk like it's going to explode, hobble into the laundry room and piss in the trash can. Pretty sure there was a security camera in that room too.

I climbed on a balcony, drunk as shit trying to impress some girl. When I was on top, I pissed against the windows. She could see everything. We had some awkward sexual experiences that night.
The next morning, I woke up in her bed next to her and we were together for almost 8 years.

While living in an apartement building with said girl, we had a really annoying neighbour. The white-trash type of guy. One night (of course drunk as shit), I went to his mailbox and pissed in it. I forgot about the whole story until he hung a "thank you"- note to the staircase. I remembered what I did and felt deeply ashamed, yet amused.

I could probably go on like this if I would think hard enough. Thanks to SLAP for the walk down memory lane.

[JB]

a few years ago i was on a week long houseboat trip with 11 other people. the first two nights i got so wasted that i pissed the bed and to this day thats the only time ive pissed the bed while drunk. my girlfriend at the time was so mad at me both mornings, but each day i ended up sweat talking my way back onto her good side and still fucked her on the pee covered bed each day.

last summer i was at my cousins wedding and was a bit over served. my girlfriend and i were sharing a room with my parents and i guess i woke up in the middle of the night, knocked the hotel phone that was on the night stand off the hook, dialed the front desk and pissed on the phone. my girlfriend said she heard me getting up, then something falling and a voice saying "front desk, this is audrey." then she heard me say "oh, sorry audrey." then i started peeing on the phone. nobody was mad at me which was kind of a shocker considering im 26 and i think my parents expected me to act a little more well behaved than that.

there was another time my friends and i were packed like 6 deep in a honda accord passing around a fifth of salor jerrys on the way to a casino in detroit. im sure we were drunk before we got the fifth because this was like 12am on a weeknight when were driving down there, so im sure the decision to go was alcohol influenced. anyway, i blacked out before we got to the casino and at least half of us had to piss before we got there so i told whoever was driving to get off at the next exit and that i assured them i knew where i was going. i still have no idea where we stopped, but it was some projects or appartment complex that i told everyone was safe (it was the only way i was going to get them to pull over so i could pee and they trusted me because i went to school in detroit.) anyway, im sure the area sucked, but we pulled in and us 6 white kids from the suburbs jumped out of the honda and pissed on the cars parked outside these appartments in detroit. thank god nobody saw us because that was really fucking stupid.

[shark tits]

when i drank i had a real piss the bed problem. i've pissed on all sorts of girls. i was living in SF one time w/ an old pal [now deceased] and a couple of his friends, no job for a while, just petty theft and foodstamps. had this girl in san jose who dug my blogs about OD's and other degenerate activities so i heisted a jug of rossi, snuck on caltrans and went to visit/lay some pipe.
first night was ok, i handled myself like a gentleman and we had a nice night.
she went to work and i drank wine in the park all day so i was shitshow when i went back to her house. she was having a kookout w/ her brother, some other ladies and motherfrickin todd prince! i fanned out, 'i wanna shake the hand that tied the boots that kicked out andy roy's teeth!'
sadly that's not how he likes to be remembered but i didn't skate in the 80s so i knew him for that infamous night. he was real sweet, texas twang and patience.
for anyways, i blame the sun for exacerbating my drunk and though it didn't make me kill an arab it did force me to piss homegirl's couch before crawling into bed w/ her.
suffice to type she was less than stoked when she dropped me at caltrans the following morn and i was not invited back. alas.