Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences  (Read 464474 times)

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straight

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1950 on: April 23, 2018, 12:30:22 PM »
ok so this weekend, my wife and i went on a much overdue date night. mother in law stayed with our eight week old and toddler . so my wife has some wine which is great for me cuz she always gets horny when she drinks . we finish dinner, get in the car and she immediately starts going down on me .. as we pull down into our neighborhood, she tells me pull over and fuck her in the car .. so she gets on me in the driver seat and i recline it all the way back.. she’s trying her best but it’s not going well and i tell her im gonna get on top. we’ve got two car seats in the back so we can’t get back there. . as im fucking her, my ass kept bumping into the horn and honking it.. so we’re getting spooked every time it honks and then just start cracking up.. so as im trying to concentrate on not honking the horn, i don’t realize that my foot is slamming down the accelerator and revving the engine..we start bursting out laughing and i tell her to turn around so  i can fuck her doggy.. literally, as im pulling out to cum on her back, two people walk by and we’re all four staring at each other.. they keep waking and my wife is ducking her head with her ass sticking up in the air .. meanwhile im trying to clean up the mess.. it was by far the worst sex we’ve ever had

we are also on the next door app waiting for our nosy neighbors to report us .. they probably thought we were a couple of horny high schoolers
What kind of mikey taylor logic is this?

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1951 on: April 23, 2018, 12:50:09 PM »
ok so this weekend, my wife and i went on a much overdue date night. mother in law stayed with our eight week old and toddler . so my wife has some wine which is great for me cuz she always gets horny when she drinks . we finish dinner, get in the car and she immediately starts going down on me .. as we pull down into our neighborhood, she tells me pull over and fuck her in the car .. so she gets on me in the driver seat and i recline it all the way back.. she’s trying her best but it’s not going well and i tell her im gonna get on top. we’ve got two car seats in the back so we can’t get back there. . as im fucking her, my ass kept bumping into the horn and honking it.. so we’re getting spooked every time it honks and then just start cracking up.. so as im trying to concentrate on not honking the horn, i don’t realize that my foot is slamming down the accelerator and revving the engine..we start bursting out laughing and i tell her to turn around so  i can fuck her doggy.. literally, as im pulling out to cum on her back, two people walk by and we’re all four staring at each other.. they keep waking and my wife is ducking her head with her ass sticking up in the air .. meanwhile im trying to clean up the mess.. it was by far the worst sex we’ve ever had

we are also on the next door app waiting for our nosy neighbors to report us .. they probably thought we were a couple of horny high schoolers
That's so awesome,I had a similar experience with my wife by the beach in a 350z. Praise leather seats though!

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1952 on: April 23, 2018, 01:12:55 PM »
Expand Quote
ok so this weekend, my wife and i went on a much overdue date night. mother in law stayed with our eight week old and toddler . so my wife has some wine which is great for me cuz she always gets horny when she drinks . we finish dinner, get in the car and she immediately starts going down on me .. as we pull down into our neighborhood, she tells me pull over and fuck her in the car .. so she gets on me in the driver seat and i recline it all the way back.. she’s trying her best but it’s not going well and i tell her im gonna get on top. we’ve got two car seats in the back so we can’t get back there. . as im fucking her, my ass kept bumping into the horn and honking it.. so we’re getting spooked every time it honks and then just start cracking up.. so as im trying to concentrate on not honking the horn, i don’t realize that my foot is slamming down the accelerator and revving the engine..we start bursting out laughing and i tell her to turn around so  i can fuck her doggy.. literally, as im pulling out to cum on her back, two people walk by and we’re all four staring at each other.. they keep waking and my wife is ducking her head with her ass sticking up in the air .. meanwhile im trying to clean up the mess.. it was by far the worst sex we’ve ever had

we are also on the next door app waiting for our nosy neighbors to report us .. they probably thought we were a couple of horny high schoolers
[close]
That's so awesome,I had a similar experience with my wife by the beach in a 350z. Praise leather seats though!

Leather seats are key. I had a kia rio with light tan cloth seats and we made a spot that I couldn't get out.
It's really hard to fuck in the car. I can't say I'm a huge fan.

My wife and I were watching tv in bed last night and started making out during a commercial and she farted a little fart. We both started laughing and then she let out these series of farts that sounded exactly like her asshole was laughing right along with us. It was pretty funny and we both laughed pretty hard. I didn't go down on her that night though.

SOTY

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1953 on: April 23, 2018, 01:20:35 PM »
Damn straight, your wife sounds like quite a catch! I'd have to meet some type of mermaid-fairy to ever consider getting married. To me it's just something that makes it extremely hard for people to leave each other. I guess it makes sense for certain things like taxes and citizenship.

Sick edit you posted earlier by the way, those spots look like so much fun.

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1954 on: April 23, 2018, 02:03:51 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
ok so this weekend, my wife and i went on a much overdue date night. mother in law stayed with our eight week old and toddler . so my wife has some wine which is great for me cuz she always gets horny when she drinks . we finish dinner, get in the car and she immediately starts going down on me .. as we pull down into our neighborhood, she tells me pull over and fuck her in the car .. so she gets on me in the driver seat and i recline it all the way back.. she’s trying her best but it’s not going well and i tell her im gonna get on top. we’ve got two car seats in the back so we can’t get back there. . as im fucking her, my ass kept bumping into the horn and honking it.. so we’re getting spooked every time it honks and then just start cracking up.. so as im trying to concentrate on not honking the horn, i don’t realize that my foot is slamming down the accelerator and revving the engine..we start bursting out laughing and i tell her to turn around so  i can fuck her doggy.. literally, as im pulling out to cum on her back, two people walk by and we’re all four staring at each other.. they keep waking and my wife is ducking her head with her ass sticking up in the air .. meanwhile im trying to clean up the mess.. it was by far the worst sex we’ve ever had

we are also on the next door app waiting for our nosy neighbors to report us .. they probably thought we were a couple of horny high schoolers
[close]
That's so awesome,I had a similar experience with my wife by the beach in a 350z. Praise leather seats though!
[close]

Leather seats are key. I had a kia rio with light tan cloth seats and we made a spot that I couldn't get out.
It's really hard to fuck in the car. I can't say I'm a huge fan.

My wife and I were watching tv in bed last night and started making out during a commercial and she farted a little fart. We both started laughing and then she let out these series of farts that sounded exactly like her asshole was laughing right along with us. It was pretty funny and we both laughed pretty hard. I didn't go down on her that night though.
Cadillac back seats are great, I had an Explorer that was great position wise.

Wife farts still make me laugh, the occasional after sex queef too.
I got completely over an ex once when she rushed home to the bathroom and didn't make it...she shit herself bad,tossed me her pants to hose off because "they were her favorite" after tossing them in the trash I washed my hands and left. She tried to get freaky days later and I just wasnt having it,that shit stink was in my mind still and (to me) smothered all over her pussy. I couldnt.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

Peter Zagreus

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1955 on: April 26, 2018, 08:45:34 PM »

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1956 on: April 26, 2018, 10:00:02 PM »

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

GOKU

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1957 on: April 26, 2018, 11:09:11 PM »
We almost on page 69, boiz!!!

feedmeseymour

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1958 on: April 27, 2018, 05:25:22 AM »
We almost on page 69, boiz!!!
when i got my first bj we were watching the brady bunch movie, and she stopped towards the end to say "please dont ejaculate in my mouth"
i always thought it was awkward, first cause of the movie and 2nd cause who the hell says ejaculate in that type of situation?

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1959 on: April 27, 2018, 07:27:33 AM »
Expand Quote
We almost on page 69, boiz!!!
[close]
when i got my first bj we were watching the brady bunch movie, and she stopped towards the end to say "please dont ejaculate in my mouth"
i always thought it was awkward, first cause of the movie and 2nd cause who the hell says ejaculate in that type of situation?
Was a she a sex ed teacher? Did you end up ejaculating in her mouth anyways?

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

Mad Max

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1960 on: April 29, 2018, 01:44:27 AM »
Last night I dreamt I was on some sunny island in the Mediterranean or somewhere and Nora was there.
We're hanging out and she's being her goofy self. At one point she starts doing all this dancing in a gold bikini with see-through panties. She has a nice bush on her. It kind of reminds me of old Hype Williams R&B videos.
Anyway fast forward and I'm back in the villa. I'm supposed to be training Nora to keep fit. I'm downstairs getting stuff ready and she wanders down in a bathrobe. We start goofing around dancing with her standing on my feet. Then she pulls me closer and kisses me. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend, but I'm also thinking about what's uder her robe...

Then my damn cat jumped on my back and woke me up.


bawtawd9

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1961 on: April 29, 2018, 11:39:13 AM »
Last night I dreamt I was on some sunny island in the Mediterranean or somewhere and Nora was there.
We're hanging out and she's being her goofy self. At one point she starts doing all this dancing in a gold bikini with see-through panties. She has a nice bush on her. It kind of reminds me of old Hype Williams R&B videos.
Anyway fast forward and I'm back in the villa. I'm supposed to be training Nora to keep fit. I'm downstairs getting stuff ready and she wanders down in a bathrobe. We start goofing around dancing with her standing on my feet. Then she pulls me closer and kisses me. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend, but I'm also thinking about what's uder her robe...

Then my damn cat jumped on my back and woke me up.
Dammit, I was starting to get a softie.

feedmeseymour

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1962 on: April 30, 2018, 08:28:13 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
We almost on page 69, boiz!!!
[close]
when i got my first bj we were watching the brady bunch movie, and she stopped towards the end to say "please dont ejaculate in my mouth"
i always thought it was awkward, first cause of the movie and 2nd cause who the hell says ejaculate in that type of situation?
[close]
Was a she a sex ed teacher? Did you end up ejaculating in her mouth anyways?

wish she was a sex ed teacher, she was kinda fat, i think they call them practice girls. 16 year old me was too nice bust in a fat girls mouth. catch me at 28 thats a different story.

cosmicgypsies

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1963 on: May 20, 2018, 03:08:45 AM »
so who else didnt nut the first time

ogbawtawd

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1964 on: May 20, 2018, 04:12:32 AM »
so who else didnt nut the first time
I couldn't get hard the first time cause I was drunk, so I was just ramming my dong against her pussy, she sucked it good but I still couldn't grow all the way, just a thick ol softie. but then we went at it in the morning and I nutted with the quickness. No condom, living life on the edge. I didn't nut inside her though.

That Owen post, man what a let down, the fear won, post sounded full of regret.

ogbawtawd

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1965 on: May 20, 2018, 05:25:08 AM »
Oh yeah I was full naked except I was wearing my friends fur pimp jacket when I fucked her, I got nut on the jacket.

shark tits

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1966 on: May 20, 2018, 05:35:18 AM »
i didn't nut either. my buddy and i each had a broad and we skipped school together. we played truth or dare, just escalating sexual shenanigans til it was time to do the dew.
but the chubby girl i was sorta hanging out w/ [we'd take acid and make out, she liked me and i just kinda went w/ it] decided she wanted to bang the other kid so i got to screw his old lady. who was formerly my other friend's girl and virgin.
i didn't think much of it, i just wanted to be able to say i got some pussy.
so yeah, we waited a hot minute, my dick wouldn't get hard and then i got blowjobs from both girls to get it there. i got butt naked and stuck the power you.
they had to catch the bus back to the other end of city like they'd been at school so i got coitus interrupted. i blame the condom.
so yeah, i didn't get to bust the first time and i think both the kid who's gf it was and the kid who's ex it was resented me behind getting over the hill first.

Grind King Rims

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1967 on: May 20, 2018, 03:24:37 PM »
Nah I didn't nut the first couple of times either. I just kept concentrating on what I had heard I was meant to do instead of relaxing and letting the body lead the way.

Joe Pesci

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1968 on: May 20, 2018, 08:43:46 PM »
and then i got blowjobs from both girls to get it there.

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1969 on: May 21, 2018, 11:19:26 AM »
not me. nutted instantly.

expired

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1970 on: May 21, 2018, 06:50:26 PM »
Grade 8, I just turned 13, my friends parents were out of town and me and three friends were together, one girl came over to drink and smoke weed, two hours later I was taking her virginity while she jerked off two of my friends. I kicked my friends out of the room and asked her to be my girlfriend. I know how to pick them.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1971 on: May 21, 2018, 08:16:08 PM »
not me. nutted instantly.

Haha yeah, definitely pretty quickly. I lost my virginity in a room with two other people who were fucking right next to us, and I was stoned and got overwhelmed by the situation, came, and then awkwardly lay there while I listened to the other couple going at it for another 15 minutes.

cosmicgypsies

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1972 on: May 22, 2018, 03:09:22 AM »
wow get a load of these guys nutting instantly

well i suppose its better than not nutting at all

h00man

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1973 on: May 22, 2018, 01:01:52 PM »
Page 69!

she can ride dick ham ham no joke ham

saucy ragu

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1974 on: May 22, 2018, 07:16:14 PM »
i suppose its better than not nutting at all
Quote from: brent
sorrymom, when 112 sing to you what kinda feelin do it bring to you?

Paco Supreme

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1975 on: May 22, 2018, 07:22:11 PM »
Yeah, chalk me up with the other non nutters, anyone else break the rubber though? i think it was one of those cheap restroom machine ones but shit ripped like 20 minutes in

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1976 on: May 22, 2018, 09:47:04 PM »
I nutted pretty quick,no condom either. The whole time I was scared that I was getting her preggers and/or a VD. LUCKILY neither happened.

Broke a few condoms,mostly cause they were either put on shitty or fucking too hard. Worst time was when one broke while fucking this girl on her period and I didnt realize it til' I pulled out cuz' blood was splashing up on us more and more, thankfully I laid a towel down on the floor so the carpet didnt get stained...I took a pretty long shower after that though.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

ogbawtawd

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1977 on: May 22, 2018, 11:37:52 PM »
I accidentally nutted all over my face bout a hour ago. First squirt blammed me in the eye, its still red and hurts.

silhouette

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1978 on: May 23, 2018, 07:08:06 AM »
wow get a load of these guys nutting instantly

well i suppose its better than not nutting at all

the nutting instantly thing has happened to me before, not on my first time either. I was just seeing a new girl who I thought was insanely hot, and played hard to get for a super long time (she would jack me off three times a day and never let me kiss her, or sit on my dick for a tease, looking into my eyes and never put it in; this type of shit for months). so as soon as I eventually got to do it with her, surprisingly enough the first couple of times were fine then I guess I lost confidence or got overly excited, and maybe the next five or six times in a row I'd make it past foreplay, then nut in a matter of seconds; I even remember one traumatizing time where I nutted literally instantly - like one thrust in - I didn't even know my own dick could do that. I remember feeling devastated; I was younger then and in my head I thought I was some sort of champion thus far; I had heard stories of people nutting instantly but thought they lived in some kind of alternative dimension I could never relate to. then now that was happening to me, holy shit. that was scary but maybe five or six attempts later I overcame the problem by just developing confidence over the girl and everything was fine from then on.

about not nutting that's happened to me before too but that had more to do with me figuring out my own limits. having sex three or four times a day sounds amazing when you're 17 but not so much when you're 30 and in a long-term relationship with the same girl for eight years (that's not to say I wouldn't do it, but it's physically harder and the excitement isn't as frenetic). the act itself can feel so amazing you don't always 'have to' nut.

whether position you're in, it's all in your head, really, probably depending on the vibes you get from the girl that might or might not make you worry too much. just handle the moment and with experience you'll be fine.

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1979 on: May 23, 2018, 08:39:13 AM »
Yeah, chalk me up with the other non nutters, anyone else break the rubber though? i think it was one of those cheap restroom machine ones but shit ripped like 20 minutes in

whoa! get a load of mr. stamina over here.