Things You Pondered Today

[Banned from the room]

I complain too much

[Mean salto]

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My friend has a bunch of lady chickens. One of them turned out to be a boy. These things happen, and it's no reason to get flustered, but he started sexually harassing one of the hens. Trying to mount her and such. We were wondering if it's possible to castrate a chicken.

Did some research, and learned this:

"Caponizing chickens is, in short, the surgical operation necessary for removing the testicles and neutering the chickens. Yes, you have to surgically remove the testicles. When this is done the bird can grow longer, gets larger, and can also be used as a broody as their hormones are now that of a hen's."

What a world.

[close]

Just chop its head off.  Takes two seconds.  I love all of God’s creatures and all that, but I’m not scheduling for an elective surgery for a chicken.  Tough break for him.

For bonus points you can hold up its severed head and stare deep into his little chicken eyes like a psychopath.

[close]

Couldn’t we just get the little guy a rubber chicken?

you can just seperate it from the others you'll probably find even if they are all female some will bully the others it's just how they are. or even do nothing. They are chickens not people they don't think or feel in anyway like a human does

[botefdunn]

This girl I used to date 15 years ago came over last night. She's in town for the holidays and we've been texting a little lately, but just very casually. We both admitted we'd been thinking about having a kid together. It was maybe the most intense and surreal conversation I've ever had. I'm still kind of in shock, like am I really considering having a kid with a relative stranger?

[ok boomer]

I heard that raccoons have an actual bone in their weiners. I wondered if men used to have a bone in their weiners also.

[SneakySecrets]

What is the Vatican’s official stance on the heretical claims made in Belinda Carlisle’s 1987 hit “Heaven is a Place on Earth”?

[Brguy]

Back pain is probably gonna be my biggest challenge in skating because I sure don't feel like continuing if this doesn't get better. Hoping the young age will heal it better and give me another decade or so.

[Uh Oh]

What is the Vatican’s official stance on the heretical claims made in Belinda Carlisle’s 1987 hit “Heaven is a Place on Earth”?

“That’s my God damn jam.” - Pope John Paul II (Nov. 1987)

[sexhaver2006]

I heard that raccoons have an actual bone in their weiners. I wondered if men used to have a bone in their weiners also.

most mammals do including our great ape relatives

[Dr-Feelgood]

I wonder if future generations will work it out and create a better way of life/system that dosent involve working 5 days a week just for two days off to yourself....surely we werent put on earth to slave away 5 days a week 8 hours a day just to come home tired and do it all over again waiting for the weekend to fly by

[dofrenzy]

I wonder if future generations will work it out and create a better way of life/system that dosent involve working 5 days a week just for two days off to yourself....surely we werent put on earth to slave away 5 days a week 8 hours a day just to come home tired and do it all over again waiting for the weekend to fly by

I wonder the same!

I just remembered how scientists wanted a lot of spider silk, but it would take forever to get from spiders, so they combined spider DNA with goats.  They could then milk the goats and extract a shit-ton of silk from the milk.  Cool world Bro!

[Justis]

Been thinking I would like an industry job ... nothing special or cushy just like any other job I could get but involved with skateboarding

[Hevonen]

Been thinking I would like an industry job ... nothing special or cushy just like any other job I could get but involved with skateboarding

There was a good quote on slap that went something like "working in skateboarding sounds cool untill you realize it sucks like any other job and you get payed in t-shirts"

[brycickle]

Was Jesus just the unplanned outcome of hot wifing gone wrong?

[Frank]

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Been thinking I would like an industry job ... nothing special or cushy just like any other job I could get but involved with skateboarding

[close]

There was a good quote on slap that went something like "working in skateboarding sounds cool untill you realize it sucks like any other job and you get payed in t-shirts"

my favorite job in skateboarding was printing bloards, but i'll probably get cancer early from all the plastic vapors i inhaled back then. i would have the gnarliest cough after every shift. we had filtermasks but the filters were all old and shit.

yeah, don't print/heat transfer bloards. it's a fun thing to do when you have mild autism and don't mind killing yourself slowly.

[Mean salto]

Does Ellis have the same brain parasite thing that mike v has. A lot of delusions of grandeur, borderline autistic inability to read a room/yes and, name drop stories that seem false and or throwing named person under the bus.

[PuffinMuffin]

If you poop your pants in your own house, does it still count?

[BieberStance]

If you poop your pants in your own house, does it still count?

happened to me exactly twice, that i barely made it home but didn´t manage the last few meters to the bathroom.
so in my opinion it counts

[Síota]

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If you poop your pants in your own house, does it still count?

[close]

happened to me exactly twice, that i barely made it home but didn´t manage the last few meters to the bathroom.
so in my opinion it counts

Nothing worse than being caught short. I think I've been three times in my life. Thank fuck there is no taco bell/ oe 40's in France...bad combo

[tuesday]

Since Jimmy Wilkins is on Thunder and seems to be on Spitifre, will he end up on a Deluxe deck brand?

[PuffinMuffin]

In the dead of night completely unconscious you steal your lover's covers. You wake up confronted by a salty sweetheart. Do they even have the right to be upset with you? After all, you have no recollection of your wrongdoings. 

[Mean salto]

A day should be 12 hours and an hour 120 minutes and a minute 120 seconds.
I don't even know if the math works out it's 6am and I haven't slept for a couple days and this is what I'm pondering right now keeping me up.

[Mean salto]

Has anyone ever seen Tony hawk with facial hair? His little kid 70s church haircut is really fucking up his image. You can see where his part is starts way on-top of his head.
He could dress as Larry David again but shave the top of his head for real. Then shave the sides and after a while be like"oh I actually just like it like this" and save some face.

[Banned from the room]

We need to clone the Wisdom kids save street skating.

[lazer69]

"Whens the next time i'm going to get laid?" "probably not anytime soon"

[Banned from the room]

"Whens the next time i'm going to get laid?" "probably not anytime soon"

I could get online and order a blow job for 7 am. The ups man has a different dick in his mouth every day. Do you want love and commitment or do you want a warm hole. Go for whatever you want in a rational safe way. It's available if you go get it. I believe bin you

[Banned from the room]

Im pondering two things rn.

One of these it this saying i just made up.

Every disgruntled supposedly under appreciated hometown hero is thinking they are PJ Ladd till they actually see PJ Ladd.

It's not very clever but it's so true.

Two

Everyone in my family who I've seen skate pushed goofs. That me my 3 younger brothers. My sister 21 years younger than I. My cousins Jason my cousin Chelsea. There's more I can't think of rn.

Boom there's my cousin Cory. He regs he pushed mongo. Both of his sons push mongo. They live in Ohio and I've only been around them sporadically.

All three of them scooter. I believe that scooters train kids to piss peddle. My nephew James was given a scooter and I was against it big time. There I found myself walking around following him down the street watching him develop bad style. There was arguments over it for a second. My brother is like maybe the scooter will make skating easier. 

i was like this kids going to skate WRONG!! LOOK AT THAT SHIT!!! MONGO!!!!!!!!!

Yep they stand on the wheel to take all the weight out of the turn and bounce around barely on the thing. It's like a shopping cart style of push. Horrendous stuff man. Extremely bad for the legacy of great style I'm trying to continue nurture at that time.

The Ohio posse doesn't matter they were living in a trailer park meth vacuum.

So I knew I was losing this battle so I took the kid aside and was like you want this stupid thing? Ok your putting your foot here now. And you are going to learn to push switch.

He resisted the "safer way" to push but the stink foot is just too dangerous. Spontaneous human combustion kid. Swear on my frickin life.

When that didn't work I'd just yell out at him. HEY KID!!!! STOP PUSHING SHIT FOOT!!!!

All forth of July people be chilling. They'd see me sit up like there was a lion entering the barbeque look over at the kids and yell MONGO!!!! Hey you JAMES!!!! MONGO!!!!

That dangerous shit just bought you and hour of switch stance. I exaggerate that. He only had to push home from the fireworks switch.

I figured out how to make it work. Beginning of covid we taught all the new batch of kids how to bomb the hill to push around and almost Ollie.

The scooter was a bad idea. I see old skate dad's allow it all the time. They say maybe it will... Nah nah nah. Let me stop you right there kook. Gife the kid a frickin board and stop being a coward. Scooters are like leprechaun and unicorns. They do not fucking exist. Say with me Mike fucking Ness. They do not exist! Wash that fucking shit out of your hair take off the shaded dude.

Punk rock dad. I'm going to frickin puke

[SneakySecrets]

Whenever I see footage of cops in the UK, they always look like such pussies compared to US cops.  They’re always driving some cute little car and wear cute little outfits.

They’re always so fucking polite when they’re arresting somebody too.  They’re always like “Excuse me sir, pardon the interruption but, if it pleases you, might we have a quick word?”  If that took place in the US, they’d already have the person on the ground, three dudes sitting on them, guns drawn screaming orders.

I’m sure there’s some bad ass commando police in the UK; I’ve just never seen one.

[Banned from the room]

Sometimes I leave my body and I see the frame rate of life slow so much I can see the slides dropping. When I was young this only happened when I take drugs. Now it's usually caused by rage for my situation.

[SneakySecrets]

It’s been a deep thought day:

1.  Apparently around 40 people a year die from falling into Niagara Falls… so in addition to being a breathtakingly beautiful treasure of the natural world, it’s also one of the most prolific serial killers of all time. 

2.  When these multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos types drink water, it’s basically the exact same shit that comes out of a water fountain at the back of Walmart.  It’s not like they get special rich people water… it’s all just got one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms.  Theirs just comes in fancier bottles and probably has less trace contaminants and rodent fecal matter PPM, but that’s not really a big deal.

Same goes for movies/tv shows.  It’s not like they have their own special billionaire joints, they just have to watch the same regular superhero movies and rom-coms as the unwashed masses. They just have nicer tv’s.

[Banned from the room]

I need an old TV. All my best art was created in the light of a blue no signal screen