tinder

[Bobby Peru]

Tobey, I'm not really sure where to begin, so let me get this straight...

You're interested in a 17-year-old girl on Tinder. Red flag number one. Hang out with girls your age. It's better on all levels. Friendship is fine, but it's clear that's not what you're looking for.

You take selective advice from an internet message board that she's going to get dangerously clingy, and ignore advice that you're exhibiting some potentially predatory behavior. This is compounded upon every time you've ignored reasonable advice in favor of some weird solution you've rationalized in your head.

Your solution is to FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH. Never mind any fear you might cause to your family or friends, and never mind any trauma you might inflict upon this girl by suddenly "dying" after sticking it to her, maybe even after being her first, what's important is getting away clean by FAKING YOUR OWN DEATH.

This is all due to your completely nutsballs rationalization that she's crazy. Not you. Her. The 17-year-old girl who is interested in an older guy. Not the 22-year-old who is prepared to FAKE HIS OWN DEATH to get some underage pussy.

This is classic delusional behavior. Everybody else is crazy. Not you. The fact that we even need to explain to you why this is a series of completely awful ideas is clear enough that you are consistently making bad decisions. I say this with utmost sincerity that you should be looking for solutions in a therapist's office. Not Tinder.

[shark tits]

tobey, i'm balls enough to admit i've faked my death. circumstances were different [i was trying to get around a restraining order] but whatever. sometimes a man just has to..... disappear. i think it's a great idea unless you bump into her at the carnival, she'll see a gost!

[Monty Burns]

Whenever a plan includes faking your own death , you know you have lost the game of life

[shark tits]

Whenever a plan includes faking your own death , you know you have lost the game of life

nah, faking life is when you're lost

[pencil]

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Whenever a plan includes faking your own death , you know you have lost the game of life

[close]

nah, faking life is when you're lost

passes joint

[abudabi]

how did you die shark tits? or not die. you know what i mean.

[shark tits]

how did you die shark tits? or not die. you know what i mean.

heh, i was flying to south carolina to see a bird and before i went i just told someone to post on myspace RIP so he wrote 'too bad that your plane went down' or some nonsense. every time i've died in real life it's been heroin mixed w/ alcohol or benzos though, prolly would've been a better story.

[abudabi]

hahahaha, plane crash has gotta be the most easily verified fake story you could give.
thats like saying you died taking a bullet for the president or something lol.

[shark tits]

yeah, my pals are tardy for the short bus

[ROCKxADIO420]

i faked my grandmas death once cause i slept through a midterm she died like a year later hehe

[tobey]

yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right? i always tell the girls when im hanging out with them that im not looking for anything serious but i will still hang out with though if they want to and maybe that will change my mind about being in a relationship with them

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Are you for real Tobey? holy shit

Did you forget who you were talking to
Rhetorical question right there if you ask me

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Weekend at Tobey's

[sweat stains]

I'm laughing but inside I'm sad for you

[tobey]

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yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right?

[close]

yeah um you know that this is exactly what people say when other people call them out for something.  C'mon tobey.  You weren't kidding at all.  You even had a friend lined up to help you out.

If i was going to fake my death i would go out guns blazing not just a facebook status

edit: also never told anyone about this idea, i thought if you say fuc boi it would be taken as a joke on here?

[Prince Nelson]

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yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right?

[close]

yeah um you know that this is exactly what people say when other people call them out for something.  C'mon tobey.  You weren't kidding at all.  You even had a friend lined up to help you out.

[close]

If i was going to fake my death i would go out guns blazing not just a facebook status

and that's exactly what a pussy fuckboy like you that tries to fuck 17 year olds for a self esteem boost would say

[tobey]

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yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right?

[close]

yeah um you know that this is exactly what people say when other people call them out for something.  C'mon tobey.  You weren't kidding at all.  You even had a friend lined up to help you out.

[close]

If i was going to fake my death i would go out guns blazing not just a facebook status

[close]

and that's exactly what a pussy fuckboy like you that tries to fuck 17 year olds for a self esteem boost would say

How am i trying to boost my self esteem? get right call me a creep or something like that but i honestly don't care if i hang out with this girl or not, thats why i said in my original post that im going to wait till she turns 18 but i guess people missed that.

[Prince Nelson]

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yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right?

[close]

yeah um you know that this is exactly what people say when other people call them out for something.  C'mon tobey.  You weren't kidding at all.  You even had a friend lined up to help you out.

[close]

If i was going to fake my death i would go out guns blazing not just a facebook status

[close]

and that's exactly what a pussy fuckboy like you that tries to fuck 17 year olds for a self esteem boost would say

[close]

How am i trying to boost my self esteem? get right call me a creep or something like that but i honestly don't care if i hang out with this girl or not, thats why i said in my original post that im going to wait till she turns 18 but i guess people missed that.

Motherfucker, you are delusional. You are on Tinder looking for NSA sex, which is nothing but a self esteem boost if you manage to get some.

[tobey]

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yeah um you guys do know i was mainly joking about that, right?

[close]

yeah um you know that this is exactly what people say when other people call them out for something.  C'mon tobey.  You weren't kidding at all.  You even had a friend lined up to help you out.

[close]

If i was going to fake my death i would go out guns blazing not just a facebook status

[close]

and that's exactly what a pussy fuckboy like you that tries to fuck 17 year olds for a self esteem boost would say

[close]

How am i trying to boost my self esteem? get right call me a creep or something like that but i honestly don't care if i hang out with this girl or not, thats why i said in my original post that im going to wait till she turns 18 but i guess people missed that.

[close]

Motherfucker, you are delusional. You are on Tinder looking for NSA sex, which is nothing but a self esteem boost if you manage to get some.

Yea i guess that could be right i mean everyone is on tinder to feel better about themselves just like if you have a social media account you could say they same thing about that. I thought you meant i was trying to make me feel better about myself for fucking a 17 year old girl, which i am not

[VHS]

hahahaha, plane crash has gotta be the most easily verified fake story you could give.
thats like saying you died taking a bullet for the president or something lol.

[skateboardnorth]

Oh man Tobey!  You went from hero to zero in this thread.  Go redeem yourself by hooking up with a 50 year old tinder couger to balance this age thing out.

[LifeHammered]

I wonder if out of all the tinder threads on the internet this could be the most sad and depressing.. How about we change the direction and leave Tobey behind for a bit? Has anyone tried any of the ridiculous ones popping up on late night infomercials such as Ashley Madison, the dating app for married men looking for a discreet mistress? There's gotta be way more insane dating apps some of ya'll have tried...

[floop]

can we get back to hearing about good stories, and pics?

[abudabi]

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hahahaha, plane crash has gotta be the most easily verified fake story you could give.
thats like saying you died taking a bullet for the president or something lol.

[close]

i understand this was poorly written, but you are actually dumb if you can't figure out what im saying here.

edit: also i was high as fuck when i wrote that

[essal]

can we get back to hearing about good stories, and pics?

got a non-regular non-underaged date tonight.

basically Im not tobey.

[ice nine]

all you guys in here pumping up tobey the last month or so, what did you expect? he isn't some normal person, he has deep seeded problems and isn't ready  for false confidence yet.

[tobey]

do you think im like only talking to the 17 year old? i don't even text her im hanging out with the girl that sent me pictures next week. The only reason i wanted to hang out with the barely legal chick was cause she was the only black girl i got matched up with but im not desperate enough to fuck her while shes 17 so thats why i said im going to wait till shes 18. I thought i said a funny thing i mean i said it many time i don't take social media seriously and slap is one thing i don't take seriously. I appreciate the pals that do give me advice when i ask for it but damn you guys do take this shit seriously

[VHS]

i understand this was poorly written, but you are actually dumb if you can't figure out what im saying here.

edit: also i was high as fuck when i wrote that

if you know it's nonsense, why would you expect people to understand it?

people that use pot for an excuse are classic. Pass the Doritos, pal.

[abudabi]

its not nonsense, its a simple point that was understood by the person it was directed at.
i dont care if the guy who butts into the conversation understands.
i dont give half a shit about your views on pot.

[VHS]

Ah well. Anyways, no problem, humans were designed with flaws.