real confessions

[69]

anti-depressants for the win!... what even is an orgasm? im on a cocktail of lexapro and zoloft and i couldn't even cum if brian williams' daughter jumped out of my closet right this second, held me down and put my dick in her ass and fucked me till next wednesday.

does your breath smell though?

[happenstance]

Today is one of those days where I'm ready to quit skateboarding. I have these days frequently. I go to the skate park, where I don't know anyone, and I don't have fun. I'm not happy to be out there and I usually leave after 10-20 minutes. I don't know a single person where I live. I feel pretty embarrassed to even go skateboarding most days. I wish I had a friend.

I know this is easier said than done, and I am sure people have said it to you already, but why don't you try to say hi? Introduce yourself to the people at the park. It can start with a 'hi' and 'bye' next time. Say a few words the time after that. Then start having conversations. You could have man dates on no time!

Beyond that, I think you are worrying too much about what people are thinking about your skating. We have all had this problem. I always try to focus in on my skating because thinking about other people's perceptions can ruin the fun. It is a meditative experience.

[Greg Ostertag]

I was going to post something really negative, but im going to get a slice of pizza instead.

[DBrown901]

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U shouldn't kill urself. u should take some time away from a computer, maybe even delete your account and get your head sorted out and learn to at least be ok with yourself. you don't have to be some completlu delusional piece of shit like skatedood, just don't blame urself for everything. but posting like an idiot and encouraging people to hate on you isn't gonna help your self esteem at all. slap/the Internet is a bad place for people on the edge, it's way too easy to take dumb things serious when ur in that state of mind.

[close]

delusional piece of shit? lol really? i have absolutely nothing to do with dudes situation yet i get brought up. its amazing how much yall allow jokes & my egotistical sense of humor to get under your skin, it really is.


Anyways Straight Up Asian seeing as how you took the time to post something like that you clearly got some inner demons to work out, despite having somewhat a better conscious. I read that shit as a reluctant call for help. Its hard to offer advice to someone who says they hate themselves yet doesn't give any reasons as to why, but you should sit down & take a long hard look at yourself without any kind of filter. dont sugarcoat anything nor get overly negative. figure out the top 3 reasons why you supposedly hate yourself & then dig deeper. find the root of problem and take a proactive approach to handling it. once you find those perceived flaws about yourself, its time to get to work & better yourself as a human being. use all that pain & anxiety to fuel you. Any situation we consider "bad" can always be flipped into something just as positive with the right amount of effort. the suggestion of just staying off SLAP for a while is a good idea, as well as any form of escapism or bullshitting around what you know you REALLY should be doing. I used to be on here like a muthafucka, 13 posts a day n shit, but when my mom died i didnt visit the site for months. not only because dealing with the aftermath had me extremely busy, but i had realized that with the little free time that i did have I had to use it as a way to strengthen my resolve & keep a clear head just so i wouldnt risk breaking down from all the stress & anxiety, let alone emotional pain. going thru dark times like this can either make or break you depending on your outlook of the situation. if you try to stay positive & put forth the effort into solving your problems, in the end itll all work out & you become alot tougher emotionally, where as if you stay negative & avoid dealing with things youll obviously sabotage yourself. if youre willing to at least specify what exactly it is that makes you hate yourself, maybe me or some of the other guys on here that arent heartless dicks might be able help. you never who comes out of the woodwork with shit like this. someone might've gone thru the same thing & be able to speak on their own experiences, which would probably resonate with you alot more than random people like me just telling you to stay positive or whatever.

U shouldn't kill urself. u should take some time away from a computer, maybe even delete your account and get your head sorted out and learn to at least be ok with yourself. you don't have to be some completlu delusional piece of shit like skatedood, just don't blame urself for everything. but posting like an idiot and encouraging people to hate on you isn't gonna help your self esteem at all. slap/the Internet is a bad place for people on the edge, it's way too easy to take dumb things serious when ur in that state of mind.

One thing that I see too often on here is that people feel that Slap will attack them when they're feeling their most vulnerable. People shouldn't feel like that. Of course there are shit heads on here, but there are so many more good dudes.

Straight Up, don't let stuff get you down. Ice Nine and Cringe are right. You gotta occupy your time with stuff and look towards the future. There's too much cool stuff out there.

shit straight up asian dude., definitely dont do something like that. if you're injured and cant skate you should look into other outlets to focus urself on that will give you a sense of rewarding pride, like making something, or painting, or making music, or writing, or knitting, or fixing stuff, or cooking, or learning a new skill or language, or reading about interesting things / about other cultures / cool literature, or tidying the house, or drawing or whatever... something to focus your thoughts on and persevere with and craft. will be fun and really enriching and hopefully help your mind out of cyclical thoughts by concentrating on something new. sitting on the computer for agess at a time on ur own definitely will not be good for u, makes you feel stagnant and flat. engage with your family too maybe you can learn new things about their lives / they about yours. think of dope shit you wanna do that you could work towards this year that will be motivational and exciting  (e.g. a country you wanna travel, city you'd like to live in, education ud like to pursue etc)

I've been gone the past few days. Trying to get out more. The real reason I'm so depressed is because my parents have been going through a vicious divorce battle since last year. It's really fucked with me psychologically. I feel like it's all my fault. I hate myself for a multitude of reasons. Mainly because I can't seem to say or do anything without being attacked and then kicked while I'm down. Even when it's a simple opinion or a comment on a situation, I am attacked. I feel helpless because of it. It's not on here because I don't take the internet seriously. It's people in real life. People that take me way too seriously and feel that I am threatening their way of life or what they believe in. Whatever, fuck it. It's all bullshit really.

[Dontfearthereefer]

Str8 up asian, you CANNOT take any of that shit personally, if your parents are going through a divorce they are literally as stressed as they have ever been in their life, i know that shit is hard. You just gotta take a step back and let things happen naturally. As difficult as it is you gotta bit your tongue right now. If you have to write shit down man, as lame as it might sound to keep a journal, to me ive always found some therapy in getting my thoughts on to paper. Chin up dude, you got this

[DBrown901]

Str8 up asian, you CANNOT take any of that shit personally, if your parents are going through a divorce they are literally as stressed as they have ever been in their life, i know that shit is hard. You just gotta take a step back and let things happen naturally. As difficult as it is you gotta bit your tongue right now. If you have to write shit down man, as lame as it might sound to keep a journal, to me ive always found some therapy in getting my thoughts on to paper. Chin up dude, you got this

Thanks for the advice. I've been trying. The only times I've ever been truly happy is when I was out skating this past summer. Just being away from the house.
Also, when I was with my girlfriend, but she doesn't live here.

[skate_bored]

whenever you end up burned out on skating/life/girlfriend i find it very easy to focus your energy on something else that has a reward at the end. as skateboarders i feel like we are all really creative people. whether it be drawing/painting/writing/art/music, or something as simple as learning new shit (reading about serial killers or conspiracies or US history), it all seems to work the same on the brain as skating. we're lucky to have the way of thinking that we do. most normal people get sucked into primetime TV and have no goals/focus/interests and thats what sets us apart. if youre over skating right now then let it be. skate when you get that drive again, it wont take more than a month. in the meantime find a new way to focus that energy and enjoy the outcome. just like learning a new trick after trying over and over there are tons of ways to get a similar feeling. nothing is going to be the same as skating but there are tons of cool things out there that can fill the void of feeling like you arent "getting somewhere". i dont know if this makes any sense but i drank way too much coffee.

[floop]

i accidentally dropped a 5 dollar bill into a urine-filled strip club toilet and fished it out

i need to think of someone i don't like to give it to, a la ass pennies guy

[SkateViolence]

My confession? I hate myself. Day in and day out, I think about ending it all. More so now since I can't skate. Would it be worth it? Probably not. Would it help anything? Not in the least bit. I can't seem to stop though. Fuck it. You'll probably read this and tell me to kill myself anyway. Later, Slap.

I feel you, man. I was researching the method and everything. As people have said, finding a creative outlet you can get down with while you aren't skating is crucial. You've also gotta try to learn how to not focus on things that you know are going to make you feel worse, as hard as that is. Beyond that, I'd say absolutely do not be afraid to go see someone about this shit. Getting put on meds could be the best thing you could do. Chances are your mind is just going in this cycle where you keep blaming yourself for shit and thinking all these fucked up things which in turn make it more difficult to see the positive in anything, which just makes it easier to hate yourself. When I was real low I saw a psychiatrist and got put on Zoloft. I was only on it for a few months but it broke me out of that cycle and allowed me to look past some of the shit i was feeling. Best of luck man

[solo]

only ever happy when i'm smoking weed, in the car with the homies, on the way to a new skate spot, have the vx (or any good camera) with me to film some hammers go down, got some money for food and brews for everyone after the sesh, pull some ladies in the night, and have some new shoes and board whenever i need 'em..


guess the moral of the story here is that i need a better paying job to get the things that i want (and that i'm fine living the life of a skateboarder once all the other bills are accounted for [family-wise... mother's rent, possible medical/herbal bills, dad, brother, etc, phone bills, electric, internet, $1k for rent...])

all i really want: skateboards, skate shoes, drugs, and alcohol... wish i could get some new skateboard stuff............. fuck being broke.
*soon to be car payments and stuff once i get some more money saved up..


money is scarce as heck right now and the fact that bills and rent must be paid while simultaneously having family stressing out because of the lack of money is depressing to see... some days i feel good, some days i just feel numb... i need to make something happen soon... i'm freaking out..

also, i'm 19 but when i talk to girls my age (or older)... it feels like they think of me as younger.. like 16/17.... which is funny because when i was 16-18, i told girls that i was 19 (and sometimes 20) and they believed it...... i pulled a 22 year old girl when i was 17 because she thought i was 20 and apparently had game...

now i'm actually 19 and i'm bummed because i've already been 19 for the last 3 year....

[pancake man]

Been having a real hard time getting it up with the ladies, I've been able to laugh it off, but I'm starting to get a little concerned. I did find this article and it helped settle me a little, but good god I hope it's right

http://www.businessinsider.com/porn-ruining-sex-life-2011-10

[DBrown901]

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My confession? I hate myself. Day in and day out, I think about ending it all. More so now since I can't skate. Would it be worth it? Probably not. Would it help anything? Not in the least bit. I can't seem to stop though. Fuck it. You'll probably read this and tell me to kill myself anyway. Later, Slap.

[close]

I feel you, man. I was researching the method and everything. As people have said, finding a creative outlet you can get down with while you aren't skating is crucial. You've also gotta try to learn how to not focus on things that you know are going to make you feel worse, as hard as that is. Beyond that, I'd say absolutely do not be afraid to go see someone about this shit. Getting put on meds could be the best thing you could do. Chances are your mind is just going in this cycle where you keep blaming yourself for shit and thinking all these fucked up things which in turn make it more difficult to see the positive in anything, which just makes it easier to hate yourself. When I was real low I saw a psychiatrist and got put on Zoloft. I was only on it for a few months but it broke me out of that cycle and allowed me to look past some of the shit i was feeling. Best of luck man

I've been through therapy before. It's been about four years since I last spoke to my therapist. Been about the same amount of time since I last took my Zoloft. I eventually got past my problem and felt better. I can only sit and wait for this to pass as well. I'm taking my time to hangout with friends as much as possible. Keeps my mind in a better place. Also, been trying to get out and enjoy the sun whenever it's out. Lately, we've had some shitty weather, so it's been difficult for me to get out. Especially with my cast on. Thanks, homie. Best of luck to you.

[jack burton]

Change is terrifying .

[Zurg]

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Str8 up asian, you CANNOT take any of that shit personally, if your parents are going through a divorce they are literally as stressed as they have ever been in their life, i know that shit is hard. You just gotta take a step back and let things happen naturally. As difficult as it is you gotta bit your tongue right now. If you have to write shit down man, as lame as it might sound to keep a journal, to me ive always found some therapy in getting my thoughts on to paper. Chin up dude, you got this

[close]

Thanks for the advice. I've been trying. The only times I've ever been truly happy is when I was out skating this past summer. Just being away from the house.
Also, when I was with my girlfriend, but she doesn't live here.

my advice is to get super buck and do everything youve ever wanted to. if a fool takes you out, you wanted to die anyway and this way you can go out blazin

[Bronson]

I want to rip my leg off.

[69]

I want to rip my leg off.

you should try masturbating over some gay x-art videos and see if you like a finger up the bum!

[DBrown901]

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Str8 up asian, you CANNOT take any of that shit personally, if your parents are going through a divorce they are literally as stressed as they have ever been in their life, i know that shit is hard. You just gotta take a step back and let things happen naturally. As difficult as it is you gotta bit your tongue right now. If you have to write shit down man, as lame as it might sound to keep a journal, to me ive always found some therapy in getting my thoughts on to paper. Chin up dude, you got this

[close]

Thanks for the advice. I've been trying. The only times I've ever been truly happy is when I was out skating this past summer. Just being away from the house.
Also, when I was with my girlfriend, but she doesn't live here.

[close]

my advice is to get super buck and do everything youve ever wanted to. if a fool takes you out, you wanted to die anyway and this way you can go out blazin

Kind of hard to do that with a broken ankle.

[Greg Ostertag]

I've been getting drunk and listening to Can a lot lately. It's becoming my primary hobby...

[Frank]

deleted my fb profile because i guess i'm a misanthrope. some of my "friends" are seriously pissed about it... they can go fuck themselves.

[Omamori]

After summer of last year my ex got in contact with me, despite me not talking to her for a few months. I was dumb enough to respond to an email of her's. It was just BS about how she misses me, etc. Now we talk/text here and there. We planned to go to Japan this year along with some other traveling. But when we talk I get the impression that she will do whatever regardless if we are talking. I have no problem with that but she is trying to involve me into her life. I've been thinking just to stick it out until we go to Japan. Then decided to lose contact or stay in touch. I've got nothing to lose though, but it would still bother me if she was involved with other guys.

[skate_bored]

After summer of last year my ex got in contact with me, despite me not talking to her for a few months. I was dumb enough to respond to an email of her's. It was just BS about how she misses me, etc. Now we talk/text here and there. We planned to go to Japan this year along with some other traveling. But when we talk I get the impression that she will do whatever regardless if we are talking. I have no problem with that but she is trying to involve me into her life. I've been thinking just to stick it out until we go to Japan. Then decided to lose contact or stay in touch. I've got nothing to lose though, but it would still bother me if she was involved with other guys.

you say you have nothing to lose but you do. youre already in again, just by talking to her and caring enough to make this thread. tell her straight up that she needs to either be loyal to you and upfront with her plans, otherwise bounce. ive been stuck with a girl who was a "free spirit" and couldnt make up her mind and was down to move across the country at the drop of a hat (aka whenever things werent going her way). id say that this is a lot to lose for you. youre gonna waste emotions and probably money and experiences getting strung along. tell her she needs to prove loyalty and respect that her actions will affect you too and if not then she can bounce.

*if this is all completely wrong, sorry. i just read it and got fired up. i hate girls who come back when they get lonely.

[skate_bored]

Been having a real hard time getting it up with the ladies, I've been able to laugh it off, but I'm starting to get a little concerned. I did find this article and it helped settle me a little, but good god I hope it's right

http://www.businessinsider.com/porn-ruining-sex-life-2011-10

did you consider my response above? try having a couple drinks first. i've been through this and i feel like it was just nerves, subconscious or not. getting to know the girl may work too, but im not sure.

after reading your article though, wow, maybe i have a problem. not to say i cant get aroused by my girlfriend but porn has been a large part of my spare time for longer than ive been skating. maybe it would explain why i have such high expectations in the bedroom? she was pretty down and willing in the first few months but things were new, we were drunker, and she was trying to do whatever she could to get me to stick around. now that im here i worry shes too comfortable and i dont get nearly the sexual treatment i once got. perhaps acting like i dont care about sex would help? i remember in the beginning i would play hard to get and she was practically my sex slave. now that we've been dating over a year i kind of expect it and maybe it kills the vibe. its tough to not want it when you see eachother on an almost daily basis though. maybe ill quit porn, see how it goes after a month or two. would that exclude jacking off too? thatd ruin my sex life even more haha. id hate to cum after 4 minutes.

[Turtle Boy]

I don't get the hype around the Harlem shake.

I Can't believe it is making that much noise around the world. It makes feel sad about human being

[Omamori]

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After summer of last year my ex got in contact with me, despite me not talking to her for a few months. I was dumb enough to respond to an email of her's. It was just BS about how she misses me, etc. Now we talk/text here and there. We planned to go to Japan this year along with some other traveling. But when we talk I get the impression that she will do whatever regardless if we are talking. I have no problem with that but she is trying to involve me into her life. I've been thinking just to stick it out until we go to Japan. Then decided to lose contact or stay in touch. I've got nothing to lose though, but it would still bother me if she was involved with other guys.

[close]

you say you have nothing to lose but you do. youre already in again, just by talking to her and caring enough to make this thread. tell her straight up that she needs to either be loyal to you and upfront with her plans, otherwise bounce. ive been stuck with a girl who was a "free spirit" and couldnt make up her mind and was down to move across the country at the drop of a hat (aka whenever things werent going her way). id say that this is a lot to lose for you. youre gonna waste emotions and probably money and experiences getting strung along. tell her she needs to prove loyalty and respect that her actions will affect you too and if not then she can bounce.

*if this is all completely wrong, sorry. i just read it and got fired up. i hate girls who come back when they get lonely.

I'd be upset if she was with another guy but at the same time I'm not investing much into this. I hope for the best but expect the worse. I did imply about her seeing other guys and she got the hint. She said she wasnt interested. Only time will tell. As for traveling, she is paying for most of the trip to Japan.

[sexualhelon]

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After summer of last year my ex got in contact with me, despite me not talking to her for a few months. I was dumb enough to respond to an email of her's. It was just BS about how she misses me, etc. Now we talk/text here and there. We planned to go to Japan this year along with some other traveling. But when we talk I get the impression that she will do whatever regardless if we are talking. I have no problem with that but she is trying to involve me into her life. I've been thinking just to stick it out until we go to Japan. Then decided to lose contact or stay in touch. I've got nothing to lose though, but it would still bother me if she was involved with other guys.

[close]

you say you have nothing to lose but you do. youre already in again, just by talking to her and caring enough to make this thread. tell her straight up that she needs to either be loyal to you and upfront with her plans, otherwise bounce. ive been stuck with a girl who was a "free spirit" and couldnt make up her mind and was down to move across the country at the drop of a hat (aka whenever things werent going her way). id say that this is a lot to lose for you. youre gonna waste emotions and probably money and experiences getting strung along. tell her she needs to prove loyalty and respect that her actions will affect you too and if not then she can bounce.

*if this is all completely wrong, sorry. i just read it and got fired up. i hate girls who come back when they get lonely.

[close]

I'd be upset if she was with another guy but at the same time I'm not investing much into this. I hope for the best but expect the worse. I did imply about her seeing other guys and she got the hint. She said she wasnt interested. Only time will tell. As for traveling, she is paying for most of the trip to Japan.

I feel like I've been on both sides of the fence with this one. There have been times that I was with a girl who was one of these free spirits but we didn't have a history so her escapades didn't really bother me - except for when she'd tell me and then it would bum me out. Girls who I'm with telling me sex stories don't even bum me out but if they're telling me a story that's within the span of me seeing them I can't help but feel jaded on it. Kills the vibe for sure. If it's a girl who you actually do care about then it's just going to tug at your heartstrings no matter what and if you know it's never going to work out then it's best to stay away. On the other hand, I've been on your end of the spectrum with a girl who I had history with and at the end of it all I realized what a shitty person she was. I worked as a flight attendant for a bit so I could fly for free and frequently crash with her in Chicago when something was going on there I wanted to do plus Chicago is an alright city for a weekend trip. She'd always hook it up on those trips but that whole period I wasn't into her so I saw it as a sort of payback - actually took her virginity on one of those trips. I feel like you get older and you realized that even then you don't gain anything.

Side note but you could view it as a metaphor to what I was just commenting on:  I haven't talked to my Dad in 8 years because he's such a shitty person but he's visiting LA in a few days. He got my phone number from the hospital in Austin via my sister's emergency contacts list when she got hit by a car and was rushed into surgery due to a badly broken leg. He then proceeded to text everyone saying how my sister only wanted him to be there and no one else but everyone caught on - could have sued the hospital for giving out my number but didn't because I'm not one of those sue happy people. This was maybe 2 years ago.... since then he's sent me sob text messages basically bullshitting in my opinion about how he wants to see me. It's like he would get some false sense of accomplishment in seeing how I'm a grown man with a decent job, side projects, and paying my own bills even though he had nothing to do with it. I think about saying yes to letting him take me out to dinner while he's here but then I don't really have anything to say to him...I mean, sure, I could use an extra $200, a shopping spree, or enjoy him buying my meal from the most expensive restaurant in LA but would any of that really be worth it? No bridges burned can really be repaired on my end and I'd be breaking a pretty fucking big vow of silence.

[Dontfearthereefer]

i figure the only reason chicks bring shit like that up is to make you jealous, but all it really does it make you realize she isn't as cool as you thought

[hornyrick]

I'm facing an identity crisis.  I moved out of America, to the country where most of my roots lead to.  IMO, middle america is terrible for a young minority growing up.  All my life white folk have looked at me like an alien, but I grew accustomed to it.  As I grew older and started getting into fist fights over it, people stopped saying racist shit to my face.  Even then, my white friends would regularly make stereotypical jokes to my face, and white acquaintances would say stereotypical bullshit behind my back.

Now, I am living in the country that is supposed to be home for me, yet the people here do not accept me as their own.  I can't get a job, and I am very tempted of returning to my old ways of rob cheating and stealing to get money.  The only upside is how easy it is to talk to girls.

Back in middle america I look the same as every other fuckin jap/chink/gook, and over here I apparently look like fuckin peter bici.  What am I to do?  Move to Africa?

  The Japanese can be an extremely intolerable people towards  Koreans south East Asians and etc. there is even one group of people ( forget their names but they only make up like 3% of the population) who traditionally worked with leather and slaughtered cows for a living, these people even in present day are thought of as "inhumans" kinda similar to the untouchables in India. It's not uncommon for people who grow up in Japan and then go away for college to come back being treated as an outsider. Still a pretty cool experience though!(living in Japan that is)

[69]

[69]

[j....soy.....]

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After summer of last year my ex got in contact with me, despite me not talking to her for a few months. I was dumb enough to respond to an email of her's. It was just BS about how she misses me, etc. Now we talk/text here and there. We planned to go to Japan this year along with some other traveling. But when we talk I get the impression that she will do whatever regardless if we are talking. I have no problem with that but she is trying to involve me into her life. I've been thinking just to stick it out until we go to Japan. Then decided to lose contact or stay in touch. I've got nothing to lose though, but it would still bother me if she was involved with other guys.

[close]

you say you have nothing to lose but you do. youre already in again, just by talking to her and caring enough to make this thread. tell her straight up that she needs to either be loyal to you and upfront with her plans, otherwise bounce. ive been stuck with a girl who was a "free spirit" and couldnt make up her mind and was down to move across the country at the drop of a hat (aka whenever things werent going her way). id say that this is a lot to lose for you. youre gonna waste emotions and probably money and experiences getting strung along. tell her she needs to prove loyalty and respect that her actions will affect you too and if not then she can bounce.

*if this is all completely wrong, sorry. i just read it and got fired up. i hate girls who come back when they get lonely.

[close]

I'd be upset if she was with another guy but at the same time I'm not investing much into this. I hope for the best but expect the worse. I did imply about her seeing other guys and she got the hint. She said she wasnt interested. Only time will tell. As for traveling, she is paying for most of the trip to Japan.

Go to Japan and hook up w. Japanese girls....I've known so many guys that moved there with a white girl....came home with an Asian one....