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So, i've been realizing in the last couple months i just don't really give a shit about anything.
All last semester i just smoked weed and barely passed a few of my classes, failing one. Im an engineering student and the classes are fucking hard. I'm a senior now so i don't have much left to go. But i also just want to do good in school because i feel obligated to. I'm a nice guy i think, i never get mad at my friends or get into any fights whatsoever. But im always the dude to dip from the bar or anywhere earlier then the rest of the group, just cuz im bored or don't care about whats going on.
Also, i feel like i go for chicks that are too hot for me and i won't be satisfied to have a legit girlfriend unless she's a straight dime (in my eyes). I ignore the signs that a girl isn't good for me, like chicks that text one word answers that probably have no brain and i wouldn't be interested in anyway.
I love skating obviously, and i do have some days where im hyped and in a good mood. But most of my days are just trying to speed the day up to get to the next. I skate a ton, but its really all i enjoy doing. I've been feeling very disconnected socially these last few months, and i guess it just get spilled out in increments on SLAP.
I've been justifying all of my unhappiness with the fact that i'm so close to getting my degree, that once i do, i'll move immediately to california or colorado to start my life completely over. I don't know if that will really make me happy, but i feel like Indiana (where i live) is just dragging me down.
I need SLAP advice. Even stupid shit, it might make me crack a smile.
You have no real problems.
-finish your shit, then smoke
-find a pretty girl that you click with and nail it down.
-If you are not somewhat happy with your current situation (youth, freedom), then your future might suck. you need to be content with the present as well as taking steps to secure a happy and prosperous future. juggle that shit.
-typical young person Midwest attitude. Hating where you are, and thinking big cities are superior. While big cities are epicenters for culture, a small city can offer some refreshing aspects, which are completely up to you to decide what those aspects are. By all means move if you get a job, but keep in mind that happiness is not necessarily waiting for you in Colorado or California. Transferring your life can be as shitty as staying put.
Sounds like you have some good things going on, so sit back and enjoy your time to shine and get your shit done. Good luck
Your right, and thanks for the motivation. I don't have and REAL problems in life, besides some psychological things i won't get into.
I don't want to come off like i want to move to California or Colorado to sMoKeMadWeEd, i don't really give a shit about that. Weed is anywhere. Between the places i've gotten to travel, California and Colorado seem like the places i would rather be. I don't necessarily want to live in some big city, it's just the midwest where i live is all strip malls, no culture, and the people don't really embrace substance. It's very shallow. I like to go hiking, spend time in nature, and get into some deep conversations, but it seems almost impossible around here. Most of the people i know or went to highschool with (class of 800) all have the same mentality, very negative.
I live about 30 miles to Chicago, so i get the best of both worlds with city life and rural life. But the scene isn't like Cinci is, as pencil said, I've been there and the people and scene are amazing. I live next to the (once?) murder capital of the U.S, Gary, Indiana. I honestly think that this area has a huge effect on people's mental well-being.
Also, i virtually have no relationship with my parents besides living with them. It's very awkward and i probably haven't had a full conversation with them in years. That's probably why i want to get the fuck out so bad.
So TL;DR, Thanks Paraquat, it may seem stupid, but the way you broke it down into like 4 essential things really helps. I just need to spend time with the friends that actually care about me, find a pretty chick, and get this fucking engineering degree. Being happy in the present is hard for me, but i realize that if i continue the way i think that i will always be looking for something more.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1744716 times)