Tobey, my sincere concern over your approach has motivated me to reactivate my account after an extended dormant period.
I did so because I feel your pain. Like you, I overthink things, second guess myself, and generally have problems with anxiety. And, like you, I used to see this as a problem with other people. It's an easy trap to fall into, because you know your intentions are good, yet people reject you time and time again.
The first step to getting out of your rut is to take responsibility for yourself. Realize that happiness starts with you: validation comes from inside. If you wait on other people to make you feel good about yourself, nothing will add up. Every action is instead a reaction to others. Your personality becomes a reflection of what you think others are thinking rather than your own thoughts.
Start with the basics. Take on projects. Do things you find challenging yet satisfying. Those activities could be anything: skateboarding, drawing, music, writing, photography. Concentrate on doing something for the pure pleasure of doing it well. Connect with people who also enjoy those things. Enjoy interacting with them just for the sake of the individual interactions: be in the moment. Don't think about the past or the future, just allow yourself to soak in where you are.
Getting to a better place socially involves a lot of the same approach. Having success with women isn't easy, but it's not as hard as it seems either. Talk to everyone, whether or not your attracted to them or interested. Practice will reduce your anxiety, I promise. Remember, when you talk to a stranger, the absolute worst case scenario is they don't want to talk to you. And that's not that bad! If someone blows you off, you will survive. There's no way for you to know what's on their mind, or why they react how they do. So don't take it personally. Stay positive and move on.
I'm scratching the surface, but the important thing is this: whether it's Tinder or in person, there's no secret to social success. It's all about being yourself and choosing to be happy. People want to be around someone who's secure enough to stand on their own two feet. It's why lines and techniques and tricks are garbage. You can only be yourself. Maybe a clever little quip or one-liner gets you in the door, but sooner or later, all we can be is ourselves. So unless you're OK with that person, they'll never be.