There was a point where I had to go on medical leave from my job because my depression and anxiety attacks were so severe.
For a while I thought I was going to be like crippled by it and not be ever to hold a job again, I could barely leave the house, wasn’t skating.
But at the time I was so messed up it didn’t click as to why it was happening.
I have been taking cymbalta for like 10 years or so and this was 4/5 years ago. My doc suggested why don’t I just stop cold turkey and see how I do.
So I did and I was good for about a month.
But that’s when the attacks and major depression set it again. I could t even smoke weed any more without getting an anxiety attacks.
I went on medical leave for my job for 7 weeks and then started working again feeling better for a while but had a bit of a break down again and fully quit that job.
I eventually went back on cymbalta after a few months.
And started doing better but I started skipping days and taking my cymbalta 4/7 days a week and I declined again big time. Which of course was stupid of me to do that.
I’d say in the last 3 years my mental health has more or less been at an all time high, with cymbalta, weed, kratom, and skating being my regimen.
Def still have occasional bad panic days but they are far less often than that point.
Hope you find something that works for you OP.
My anxiety toward being in public places that are crowded has grown as I’ve gotten older. That and if I’m around people who have a general hostile/abrasive attitude I can feel myself getting more and more anxious to the point where I implode and shut down.
Weed helps and it’s gotten easier to be slightly baked in public with edibles.
Closing my eyes and counting slow helps and controlled breathing.
Weed works wonders though
Expand QuoteMy wife has been having gnarly anxiety/ panic attacks for 3 days now. We have been to the ER, physician care, and she went to a crisis center last night... nothing seems to be helping. I’ve been doing all I can to help her but I’m getting exhausted as well. She stayed with her mom last night so I could rest up for work.. hopefully she starts feeling better soon.
Anyone have any tips for helping someone with these attacks?[close]
Intense physical excercise, meditation, and educating yourself about what exactly panic/anxiety is.
I been through it to a severe extent and that was the trifecta for me.
Understand what’s going on in your brain when you have a panic attack (this was explained to me by a therapist btw I didn’t just figure it out). Your brain can fuck up like any other part of the body. It’s sending you extreme DANGER DANGER messages when it doesn’t need to be, and you can legit feel scared you’re gonna die right then even tho there is no threat.
When it’s new and you’re clueless it’s extra scary, the better you understand it the more you can not let it get the best of you, eventually kinda roll your eyes like “oh word, I’m dying again? I don’t believe you”
Another key thing is remembering that it will pass. It always does, every time, because nothings fucking happening or wrong. Your body doesn’t maintain that level adrenaline for too long. It goes up and comes down like a wave. Just wait it out. You remind her all this stuff when she’s in it. Watch something funny, make her laugh.
Start the day by running or kicking the shit outta yourself in the gym and it’s harder to get worked up like that. I lift weights and have muscles now purely as a result of the harshest time I went through.
Learn the basics of breathing techniques and meditation and do that in the mornings too. Hit me up if you want more advice. I got better without any drugs, which some lazy doctors may default to (no diss to those who decide they need psych drugs).
Yea I’ve almost stopped using the word anxiety to describe what I was dealin with because when I hear people talk about their anxiety it sounds like something milder than why I had. Not to belittle anyone else struggle but I think my struggle years we’re more like panic disorder/near mental break down. Anyway, I’m cool now.
Less booze
More sleep
Lift weights
Meditate
Less booze
More sleep
Lift weights
Meditate
Less booze
More sleep
Lift weights
Meditate
Anyone on here deal with any issues regarding mental health? Depression, schizophrenic, bipolar, BPD, anxiety or anything else?I have Schizoeffective disorder and ptsd from sexual trauma and abuse, I have never had a friend very long I can make them but maybe it's my own head but I push people away constantly. I hear voices and have had delusions and hear some shit every now and then I am on celexa and colonodine. I don't like the meds but it helps with bad times........ Skating is seldom but I do take breaks from meds by supplementing with weed.
I’ve always thought I had just your run of the mill depression used to go to a therapist for a while, stopped going because I thought I was doing better, few years have passed since that and doing research I’ve come to the conclusion I might have bipolar 2. In the waiting process to see a professional to get a real diagnosis, and reaching out to a new therapist. Majorly frustrated with how a vast majority of psychiatrists don’t accept insurance and charge insane rates out of my price range. Pretty annoyed at that because a psychiatrist is the only one who can truly diagnose you and prescribe medication which I feel that I need because therapy alone wasn’t doing it for me. Hopefully I’ll find some info through my therapist who’s willing to help find shrinks that accept my insurance.
Curious to hear others struggles and what you do to maintain your mental health.
i get a nut check so that makes me able to diagnose and treat other people's mental health issues. my sister is schizophrenic and fat offa clozeral. i'm trying to wean her off them and benzos via yardwork. she's so damn lazy though!
my brother beat schizophrenia by lifting weights and suboxin. he has a job and an 18 yr old gf. he's doing well.
in my family history, it's schizophrenia, alcoholism, suicide and a higher than average number of homos. you think that's nature's way of dealing w/ overpopulation? who knows?
on a more serious note, Rusty was my boy and he had schizophrenia pretty bad. he was more functioning than a lot of people but he had voices and shit. he really dreaded these shots they gave him. they made it so he couldn't sweat, who knows what other side effects? it's hard to know what's the right thing to do, half my family is dead set on my sister staying on clozeral and benzos the rest of her life because we've seen her worse. but i remember when she was young, even post diagnosis, she was doing better. she'd get jobs, take classes, go to the bar and live an approximation of a normal life. [then go catatonic or smoke in bed and live in filth] so it's between going for it and maybe she gets institutionalized again or attempts suicide vs knowing she's gonna be overweight and lethargic and unfulfilled but still hearing voices and smacking herself.
if she was mentally alright i'd say maybe the side effects are worth it but it's crap. and idk about Rusty either, maybe he only so functioning as he was behind the heavy medications? we're still in the dark ages and i tend to have a skeptical view of psychiatry and big pharma in general but i realize i view things through my prism.
Anyone try yoga to calm yourself?
I’ve always dealt with depression/anxiety. Which is barely manageable considering how much I drink (down to 40 beers and a fifth of whiskey a week). I tried offing myself back when I was 17, drank a bunch of beers and took around 30 MucinexDMs hoping that i’d go out tripping or at least blissed out. A lot of my friends/family still think I just didnt understand that mixing those pills and alcohol would cause me too die (flatlined twice in the ambulance). But I knew exactly what I was doing. My folks still hold it against me which hurts. Ive only ever asked for money once but anytime I bring up financial trouble they hit me with “Were never giving you money after your stunt, you’ve costed us enough”. Its totally fair but that shit cuts deep. None of them want to acknowledge what actually happened unless they’re drunk. Then they just keep calling me a selfish coward. They aren’t exactly wrong but its still painful to hear from your family.Fuck ur family. They sound like cocks dude. I hope good things for you and from ur post it sounds like you def have the potential ( cept for the booze intake) just believe its possible. Thats a sincere/hopefully not too wack pep talk. Good luck.
Sorry for the overshare.
A really good friend of mine who I never expected to suffer from depression once told me “You aren’t worthless and you need to stick around. You just have a chemical imbalance in your brain that’s trying to tell you otherwise. Don’t listen to that.”
Expand QuoteAnyone try yoga to calm yourself?[close]
Yeah, man. I also think it has made me stronger and more flexible overall. I just follow along with youtube videos, though. I could probably benefit from going to a class.
Fuck ur family. They sound like cocks dude. I hope good things for you and from ur post it sounds like you def have the potential ( cept for the booze intake) just believe its possible. Thats a sincere/hopefully not too wack pep talk. Good luck.Expand QuoteI’ve always dealt with depression/anxiety. Which is barely manageable considering how much I drink (down to 40 beers and a fifth of whiskey a week). I tried offing myself back when I was 17, drank a bunch of beers and took around 30 MucinexDMs hoping that i’d go out tripping or at least blissed out. A lot of my friends/family still think I just didnt understand that mixing those pills and alcohol would cause me too die (flatlined twice in the ambulance). But I knew exactly what I was doing. My folks still hold it against me which hurts. Ive only ever asked for money once but anytime I bring up financial trouble they hit me with “Were never giving you money after your stunt, you’ve costed us enough”. Its totally fair but that shit cuts deep. None of them want to acknowledge what actually happened unless they’re drunk. Then they just keep calling me a selfish coward. They aren’t exactly wrong but its still painful to hear from your family.
Sorry for the overshare.
A really good friend of mine who I never expected to suffer from depression once told me “You aren’t worthless and you need to stick around. You just have a chemical imbalance in your brain that’s trying to tell you otherwise. Don’t listen to that.”[close]
to Ned Ludd, i mentioned on the other page but i used mushrooms to kick dope and prescribed some to my little brother. you gotta go through the dark to hit the light so if you don't let the mushrooms tell you why you suck and how to change it, you never will. in comparison to the dark ages or holodomor or potato genocide or WW2 or great depression or any other time in history, we've got it pretty easy.
media will spook you but we're not doing that fucking bad ergo our problems are in our head. trust, i say this from my experience too, i overdosed over 10 x in my heyday, puked in my own lungs on a portland sidewalk, aspirated, just courted death wicked hard. i couldn't see ahead too well but i will say, you hit 30 almost ironically. then you hit 40 and it's all a gas.
mushrooms will put you up on game but it's up to you to adapt your behaviors.
Dealt with panic disorder, major depressive disorder and PTSD for the last two decades. I've always tried to hide it and have friends but its fuckin draining. I don't take anything for it (tried all kinds of shit) but if I could take oxy or heroin without consequences I think Id be happier. When I was prescribed oxy I was a pretty happy dude and much easier to be around. Thats no bullshit either.Wow you sound like a junky just b4 they turn into a junky. Fuck 'oxy' dude, get a grip! Edit im just TRYING to be harsh to save you in case ur slipping into opiates my guy.
Wow you sound like a junky just b4 they turn into a junky. Fuck 'oxy' dude, get a grip! Edit im just TRYING to be harsh to save you in case ur slipping into opiates my guy.Expand QuoteDealt with panic disorder, major depressive disorder and PTSD for the last two decades. I've always tried to hide it and have friends but its fuckin draining. I don't take anything for it (tried all kinds of shit) but if I could take oxy or heroin without consequences I think Id be happier. When I was prescribed oxy I was a pretty happy dude and much easier to be around. Thats no bullshit either.[close]
i'm more DIY about mental health and anything else but i took some mushrooms in 2016 and they convinced me to stop doing dope and help my ma pay her mortgage. then i gave some to my brother when he got out of jail for home invasion and tried to get him on the same page. he's thriving now so a lot of it is as stated by VHS or someone, eating right, drinking water, excercise and not taking poisons. just healthy living and getting away from the bad life will go a long ways. sometimes you need that epiphany and you could almost chalk up my mushroom stories to more drug talk except there's rich junkies paying big dollars to go to Peru and take ayuhasca w/ a medicine man.
w/out ingesting poisons or traumas to trigger your illness, you can live normal. some people take medicine for it, i'm wicked averse to it but don't listen to me. if you feel better, god bless. there's more than one road to Boston as they say.
Anybody here fuck with electroconvulsive therapy? My psychiatrist is telling me that I should go for it. If anyone has done ECT please tell me about your experience.
Anyones seasonal allergies intensify depression/ have any good leads on how to make that chill the fuck out? God damn some mornings in the spring/ summer are almost impossible.Yeah dude. On top of the nonstop runny nose that I have all year, during this time I have a terrible cough at night which makes it harder to sleep. The sleep apnea doesn't help either. Straight up, breathing, laying down, and sleeping are actual burdens for me. When I'm not working, I'm still fucking working. Holy shit, I hate everything. Why the fuck did I have to be born? I gotta man up and off myself already. I should go take out the biggest loan I can get, quit my job, go on a trip to Thailand, bang hookers, do drugs, come back home, buy a gun and end it.
Yeah dude. On top of the nonstop runny nose that I have all year, during this time I have a terrible cough at night which makes it harder to sleep. The sleep apnea doesn't help either. Straight up, breathing, laying down, and sleeping are actual burdens for me. When I'm not working, I'm still fucking working. Holy shit, I hate everything. Why the fuck did I have to be born? I gotta man up and off myself already. I should go take out the biggest loan I can get, quit my job, go on a trip to Thailand, bang hookers, do drugs, come back home, buy a gun and end it.Expand QuoteAnyones seasonal allergies intensify depression/ have any good leads on how to make that chill the fuck out? God damn some mornings in the spring/ summer are almost impossible.[close]
Yeah dude. On top of the nonstop runny nose that I have all year, during this time I have a terrible cough at night which makes it harder to sleep. The sleep apnea doesn't help either. Straight up, breathing, laying down, and sleeping are actual burdens for me. When I'm not working, I'm still fucking working. Holy shit, I hate everything. Why the fuck did I have to be born? I gotta man up and off myself already. I should go take out the biggest loan I can get, quit my job, go on a trip to Thailand, bang hookers, do drugs, come back home, buy a gun and end it.Expand QuoteAnyones seasonal allergies intensify depression/ have any good leads on how to make that chill the fuck out? God damn some mornings in the spring/ summer are almost impossible.[close]
Anybody here fuck with electroconvulsive therapy? My psychiatrist is telling me that I should go for it. If anyone has done ECT please tell me about your experience.I haven't had it but I have a friend who's having it done to him today. I'll let you know how he feels afterwards
Didn’t know this thread existed, good on you for bringing these issues up, some people have no idea.
About 2 years ago my dad died of a massive stroke right in front of me and I couldn’t do shit to help him. Always had anxiety/depression to some degree but this experience kicked it to a whole new level and I ended up being diagnosed with PTSD. Constant stress and trying to look after everyone around me except myself led to multiple issues I’ve been trying to sort out. The psych I saw said my score for the mental health test was so low it was impacting my immune system. I already had to take off 4 months off skating right when my dad died due to a torn muscle on my hip, then a couple of months later I started get crazy stomach pains/diarrhoea 24/7 which lasted about 6 months, this shit was crippling. Had 2 weeks free of that and then I had a bout of chronic sinusitis which I’ve been dealing with since, just had surgery on my nose a few days ago. On top of all this everything got too much at work and I snapped and quit because I was having panic attacks about my health and random shit everyday, plus a few trips to the ER with what I thought were heart attacks which were just panic attacks.
Trying my best to get through this guys but it’s so damn hard, all I want to do is get out there and skate my ass off before I really can’t do it anymore (I’m 31). I’ve thought about ending it so much but I could never bring myself to do it to my Mum, she has lost my Dad and I think it would be so unfair to do that again to her...
Expand QuoteDidn’t know this thread existed, good on you for bringing these issues up, some people have no idea.
About 2 years ago my dad died of a massive stroke right in front of me and I couldn’t do shit to help him. Always had anxiety/depression to some degree but this experience kicked it to a whole new level and I ended up being diagnosed with PTSD. Constant stress and trying to look after everyone around me except myself led to multiple issues I’ve been trying to sort out. The psych I saw said my score for the mental health test was so low it was impacting my immune system. I already had to take off 4 months off skating right when my dad died due to a torn muscle on my hip, then a couple of months later I started get crazy stomach pains/diarrhoea 24/7 which lasted about 6 months, this shit was crippling. Had 2 weeks free of that and then I had a bout of chronic sinusitis which I’ve been dealing with since, just had surgery on my nose a few days ago. On top of all this everything got too much at work and I snapped and quit because I was having panic attacks about my health and random shit everyday, plus a few trips to the ER with what I thought were heart attacks which were just panic attacks.
Trying my best to get through this guys but it’s so damn hard, all I want to do is get out there and skate my ass off before I really can’t do it anymore (I’m 31). I’ve thought about ending it so much but I could never bring myself to do it to my Mum, she has lost my Dad and I think it would be so unfair to do that again to her...[close]
I can relate to your story. I have no valuable insight, but I hope things improve. I also hope you are able to have some time to rest and heal since quitting your job.
I'm a high-functioning schizophrenic according to my therapist, who I haven't seen in months due to my health insurance changes. I had my first really bad episode of psychosis in 2013 when I was 20, which was exactly identical to the recollection Paul Alexander told in his vice documentary @6:21I think your in a group that is ultra real. If i woke up to a world without anybody different anywhere, id be fucked and want to give up. But you guys provide the world the concept of invention. Maybe its a burdon. I think schizophrenia would have worked in the hunter gatherer times. People were happier/healthier then and life expectancy stats from those days gets skewed by infant mortalty rates to make modern medical science and drug companies look good. Youd be a shaman or a warrior guided by visions, leader of the tribe.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d09soDoUvaw&t=264s
Broke up with a long-term girlfriend and entered a state of depression/isolation for months, on top of staying up a lot of nights trying to get good grades at uni to put myself through med school. Then all of a sudden, shit just hit the fan and I got this disoriented belief that the FBI or CIA were after me. I was hallucinating and seeing the words in skate magazines and textbooks morphing into words that were saying things like "you're worthless/we're watching you" as well as being delusional and feeling like everyone was out to get me. I was super manic to the point where my brother, who was living with me at the time, had noticed my odd behavior and immediately called my mom to fly up ASAP to admit me to a psych ward. I stayed for a week and was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Was on a cocktail of meds that sedated the fuck out of me as well as made me so uncoordinated I couldn't even balance on a skateboard, on top of gaining 30 pounds in the span of 2 months from medication side affects.
I convinced my psychiatrist to take me off meds because I was doing better and thought it was just a brief episode of psychosis and nothing more, but then in 2017, I started feeling paranoid and delusional again and contemplated suicide because I had this delusion that everyone including my friends/roommates were trying to plot against me.
I went to numerous psychiatrists that allowed my health insurance to get a second opinion on my diagnosis and they all told me I have schizophrenia, not schizoaffective. One really good psychiatrist though recommended for me to go to out-patient group therapy and it honestly helped me a ton. Checking in about your feelings to complete strangers who are in the same situation if not worse really helped me to feel less isolated and opened me up to discuss my personal demons as well as get professional/helpful anonymous feedback from people who are willing to help/have been in the same situation.
Mental health is so tough and there's still a stigma behind it, but pals, don't be afraid to get help
Anyone try yoga to calm yourself? I think I’m going to give it a shot next week but the inner anxiety is making me doubt myself.
I had bad panic attacks growing up skating in Huntington Beach in the 90s. I dropped out of school over it. Luckily I got a computer and taught myself to code, and now i do that for a living making (since i couldn't pursue trying to be a pro skater because of not being able to travel, etc.).what were the symptoms you typically experienced during your panic attacks if you don't mind me asking? i have a friend who gets them occasionally and I was with him when just out of nowhere he jolted upwards and ran for the nearest door to exit the room, then was hunched over while panting heavily, trying to catch his breath with his hand on his chest. can't forget that look of sheer terror on his face just come over him so suddenly. it was pretty frightening to watch it happen.
So definitely hang in there. I didn't ever smoke weed or take prescriptions, I wanted to be clean because of parents doing drugs. What helped me the most was stopping eating all the junk food - seriously, cut waaay back on things like soda and sugar and fast food. I don't eat perfect, but cutting back on caffeine and stuff goes a long way. Most of my anxiety was caused from not feeling good from eating like crap, which caused me to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, especially from ages 16-23 when i was out skating all day and not getting proper nutrition.
Some other things helped: Listening to calm music, chilling out (grew up in a stressful environment), which meant changing some of the "friends" i had to more chill people. Getting enough sleep (i used to stay up ALL night). And finally, getting a job and gaining some independence REALLY made a huge difference. And definitely learn how to breathe from your diaphragm not your chest.
I'm in my 40s one now and care about fitness and can still skate like i was 22 (mostly) because i take care of my body. If i slip on those things it gets worse. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. We're all human in human bodies and have to abide by its needs or suffer the consequences.
If that doesn't help you, just talk to someone. I didn't really get depression with mine so this advice might only be _part_ of the solution. There's no shame in taking meds, i just didn't need/want to personally. Good luck everyone.
Bump.
Considering going back to a counselor. It’s expensive and I don’t have much money but maybe it’s the right thing to do.
Expand QuoteBump.
Considering going back to a counselor. It’s expensive and I don’t have much money but maybe it’s the right thing to do.[close]
See if you can find somewhere with a sliding scale. Best of luck player.
Expand QuoteAnyone try yoga to calm yourself?[close]
Yeah, man. I also think it has made me stronger and more flexible overall. I just follow along with youtube videos, though. I could probably benefit from going to a class.
I think a lot of people's mental health issues stem from having nowhere to direct their completely justified anger. stoning politicians lawyers and ceos to death would probably serve as a mass healing for millionsYou got it all wrong. Its the public that has always demanded that we have these villians, the public would accept no less. Who the 'villian' is dosent matter. This situation is of our doing, there is no 'them'. Also what ur suggesting is mad.
I have schizoeffictive disorder and on one hand it sucks but on another I try to have humor of my illness as long as I am not hurting myself or those around me. I've had rage moments when I had an episode and it lead to me be being in a nut hut for a bit. I think my case was caused by drug induced psychosis. I stayed up for like 2 weeks on a binge or meth and heroin and I saw some weird shit that put my head in a bad spot.I think your in a group that is ultra real. If i woke up to a world without anybody different anywhere, id be fucked and want to give up. But you guys provide the world the concept of invention. Maybe its a burdon. I think schizophrenia would have worked in the hunter gatherer times. People were happier/healthier then and life expectancy stats from those days gets skewed by infant mortalty rates to make modern medical science and drug companies look good. Youd be a shaman or a warrior guided by visions, leader of the tribe.Expand QuoteI'm a high-functioning schizophrenic according to my therapist, who I haven't seen in months due to my health insurance changes. I had my first really bad episode of psychosis in 2013 when I was 20, which was exactly identical to the recollection Paul Alexander told in his vice documentary @6:21
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d09soDoUvaw&t=264s
Broke up with a long-term girlfriend and entered a state of depression/isolation for months, on top of staying up a lot of nights trying to get good grades at uni to put myself through med school. Then all of a sudden, shit just hit the fan and I got this disoriented belief that the FBI or CIA were after me. I was hallucinating and seeing the words in skate magazines and textbooks morphing into words that were saying things like "you're worthless/we're watching you" as well as being delusional and feeling like everyone was out to get me. I was super manic to the point where my brother, who was living with me at the time, had noticed my odd behavior and immediately called my mom to fly up ASAP to admit me to a psych ward. I stayed for a week and was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Was on a cocktail of meds that sedated the fuck out of me as well as made me so uncoordinated I couldn't even balance on a skateboard, on top of gaining 30 pounds in the span of 2 months from medication side affects.
I convinced my psychiatrist to take me off meds because I was doing better and thought it was just a brief episode of psychosis and nothing more, but then in 2017, I started feeling paranoid and delusional again and contemplated suicide because I had this delusion that everyone including my friends/roommates were trying to plot against me.
I went to numerous psychiatrists that allowed my health insurance to get a second opinion on my diagnosis and they all told me I have schizophrenia, not schizoaffective. One really good psychiatrist though recommended for me to go to out-patient group therapy and it honestly helped me a ton. Checking in about your feelings to complete strangers who are in the same situation if not worse really helped me to feel less isolated and opened me up to discuss my personal demons as well as get professional/helpful anonymous feedback from people who are willing to help/have been in the same situation.
Mental health is so tough and there's still a stigma behind it, but pals, don't be afraid to get help[close]
Yes some armies in history would ingest a bunch of hash b4 battle.I have schizoeffictive disorder and on one hand it sucks but on another I try to have humor of my illness as long as I am not hurting myself or those around me. I've had rage moments when I had an episode and it lead to me be being in a nut hut for a bit. I think my case was caused by drug induced psychosis. I stayed up for like 2 weeks on a binge or meth and heroin and I saw some weird shit that put my head in a bad spot.Expand QuoteI think your in a group that is ultra real. If i woke up to a world without anybody different anywhere, id be fucked and want to give up. But you guys provide the world the concept of invention. Maybe its a burdon. I think schizophrenia would have worked in the hunter gatherer times. People were happier/healthier then and life expectancy stats from those days gets skewed by infant mortalty rates to make modern medical science and drug companies look good. Youd be a shaman or a warrior guided by visions, leader of the tribe.Expand QuoteI'm a high-functioning schizophrenic according to my therapist, who I haven't seen in months due to my health insurance changes. I had my first really bad episode of psychosis in 2013 when I was 20, which was exactly identical to the recollection Paul Alexander told in his vice documentary @6:21
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d09soDoUvaw&t=264s
Broke up with a long-term girlfriend and entered a state of depression/isolation for months, on top of staying up a lot of nights trying to get good grades at uni to put myself through med school. Then all of a sudden, shit just hit the fan and I got this disoriented belief that the FBI or CIA were after me. I was hallucinating and seeing the words in skate magazines and textbooks morphing into words that were saying things like "you're worthless/we're watching you" as well as being delusional and feeling like everyone was out to get me. I was super manic to the point where my brother, who was living with me at the time, had noticed my odd behavior and immediately called my mom to fly up ASAP to admit me to a psych ward. I stayed for a week and was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Was on a cocktail of meds that sedated the fuck out of me as well as made me so uncoordinated I couldn't even balance on a skateboard, on top of gaining 30 pounds in the span of 2 months from medication side affects.
I convinced my psychiatrist to take me off meds because I was doing better and thought it was just a brief episode of psychosis and nothing more, but then in 2017, I started feeling paranoid and delusional again and contemplated suicide because I had this delusion that everyone including my friends/roommates were trying to plot against me.
I went to numerous psychiatrists that allowed my health insurance to get a second opinion on my diagnosis and they all told me I have schizophrenia, not schizoaffective. One really good psychiatrist though recommended for me to go to out-patient group therapy and it honestly helped me a ton. Checking in about your feelings to complete strangers who are in the same situation if not worse really helped me to feel less isolated and opened me up to discuss my personal demons as well as get professional/helpful anonymous feedback from people who are willing to help/have been in the same situation.
Mental health is so tough and there's still a stigma behind it, but pals, don't be afraid to get help[close][close]
My family we've had some real shitbags in mine. For example a 2nd cousin was a highly decorated cop but convicted pedophile as him and his wife adopted kids and molested them. Another "well respected family member" he was an elder in on my dad's side that was a judge but married his 1st cousin. I have some really fucked up people not just through their actions but through genetics as well. I say these things as it paints a picture of where I get my nuttiness from.
I find that meditation and exercise helps quite a bit, although it isn't a cure all it alleviates the stress parts of what might trigger an episode. To be fair and I mean this in hopes it reaches those that need it most is if you are suffering from some mental illness talk with a therapist or psychiatrist. Most people with severe to mild mental illness all they need is a person to talk shop with, or give them an ear to listen to. Now those with serious violent tendencies I can't help but take meds or smoke lots and lots of weed as has anyone ever acted out violently to weed?
ok personWell ur just some lil cunt who wants to murder somone.
care to elaborate on this? i don't know exactly what you meanYou got it all wrong. Its the public that has always demanded that we have these villians, the public would accept no less. Who the 'villian' is dosent matter. This situation is of our doing, there is no 'them'.Expand QuoteI think a lot of people's mental health issues stem from having nowhere to direct their completely justified anger. stoning politicians lawyers and ceos to death would probably serve as a mass healing for millions[close]
I dunno. "The public is an ass" -does that do it? Prolly "markedly unimpressive" (i like you).care to elaborate on this? i don't know exactly what you meanExpand QuoteYou got it all wrong. Its the public that has always demanded that we have these villians, the public would accept no less. Who the 'villian' is dosent matter. This situation is of our doing, there is no 'them'.Expand QuoteI think a lot of people's mental health issues stem from having nowhere to direct their completely justified anger. stoning politicians lawyers and ceos to death would probably serve as a mass healing for millions[close][close]
are you saying the power in which is concentrated into the hands of the extremely wealthy is a system consciously set up and maintained by the public at large? or that this elite class commits no wrongdoing in which is worthy of vilification and is a farce? that the system which enforces and maintains this top-down power structure, of which lawyers/politicians are a part of, is not something which people are justified in opposing?
what is your line of reasoning..but furthermore, what exactly is your point? if you say something like 'representative democracy means the public picks the politicians in power therefore there is no distinction', it's going to be markedly unimpressive
ok person
I think a lot of people's mental health issues stem from having nowhere to direct their completely justified anger. stoning politicians lawyers and ceos to death would probably serve as a mass healing for millions
I think the internet's quasi anonymity contributes to peoples mental health issues because it gives you this weird opportunity to cultivate a secondary (or multiple) digital persona. If you start comparing this fictional means of escapism to your actual life and self it's going create conflict.
See this scenario is what gives me anxiety and makes me a shutin sometimes especially if I am having a manic moment. It seems that people who are already depressed, or just overall unhappy have the worst luck. Like some people really do get "Dealt a bad hand". I don't know about you guys, but sometimes my life is so negative and seemingly anti-me that it has almost becomes a joke. Some days are so bad I seriously take a step back and laugh and think this must be some fucked joke and all my suffering doesn't actually mean anything. This might sound stupid, but are some people just meant to have a shitty life? I don't get it. I know people that are pretty scummy, but always seem to have the best luck and opportunities come their way.like bobby light said 'you create your own luck'. if you think bad, you're gonna receive bad. if you manifest a happy life, you'll live it. try to be positive. sometimes it's easier said than done but i've seen in my own life if you're not blaming other people or the world or society you'll thrive. sorry you're still going through patches. hope it passes sooner than later. leave you w/ this quote.
For example I could mind my business either at a park or at a job and some dipshit has a nosey comment of why don't you cheer up? or why don't you bring so and so to our boring shit talking event? which usually leads me to say 1. it's none of their business 2. it's not your business 3. you ask again go fuck yourself my problems aren't your business and my personal life has nothing to do with others.
I feel like I'm being relentlessly punished for no reason, and the more I try to make these situations positive, the more negative they become. I feel despair constantly of my expectations and mostly gave up on hope, because every other time I hoped for something, it never happens and it hurts waaaaaay more because I had hoped/expected for a better outcome. I'm just kind of getting over all of it. I don't know how much longer I want to be here.
Yeah it becomes a halfassed cry for attention or hey I need a kind word or two, buttttttt it falls on deaf ears. I mean I have a rad partner and a few friends I text here and there they lookout but I feel bad to overwhelm them with my bs and I stay silent and suffer alone.
Definitely agree with the sentiments here that any advice especially about mental health advice being much easier said than done. I know for me, things can get qualified as "good" or "bad" based on only the outcome. For example, I hate my job, I've sent applications, felt in limbo while they're out and a rejection feels like a complete failure. Lately though, by looking at each step as an individual event, just the act of sending the application, following up, connecting on Linkedin, etc. each feel like little victories that make me feel good and motivated to try again. The fact that it doesn't work out hasn't felt as defeating as it did before and my mental health is better for it.
My Psychiatrist my Psychologist and my PCP all gave me shit today. They say I should contribute more to life than riding my skateboard and stealing. They are punishing me by taking away my benzos though I have never tested negative in 20 years meaning I don’t sell them.Thats rad not to work and I mean that but why are you visiting these stupid fucks? What are benzos?
They say it’s killing my drive but they don’t understand.
Fuck selling art fuck being a graphic designer fuck painting shoes for dope dealers. I’m not ever ever going back to work.
I want to die a 80 year old hill bombing freight painting show going bum
i think benzo was the guy who owned the source and had beef w/ eminem.Thats rad not to work and I mean that but why are you visiting these stupid fucks? What are benzos?Expand QuoteMy Psychiatrist my Psychologist and my PCP all gave me shit today. They say I should contribute more to life than riding my skateboard and stealing. They are punishing me by taking away my benzos though I have never tested negative in 20 years meaning I don’t sell them.
They say it’s killing my drive but they don’t understand.
Fuck selling art fuck being a graphic designer fuck painting shoes for dope dealers. I’m not ever ever going back to work.
I want to die a 80 year old hill bombing freight painting show going bum[close]
My grandfather on my mom’s side was such a sweet man. When I was a little boy he visited me once a week until the age of 3-4, which was an hour from where he lived. It wasn’t until after he passed that I learned that he spent his entire adult life on lithium.
Being born happy or sad is just the luck of the draw. There is nothing wrong with taking something to make you feel better.
I am not a very happy and upbeat person and if I did not have a wife and kids to support I would not be very motivated to go to work or participate in society.
I feel the key to happiness is to do things for others. Very few people can live inside their own minds and not become bored or lonely. For me purpose does not come from within so it helps to know that I am needed by at least 3 people.
Also, schizophrenia is no joke. One of my best friends had it and it drove him to heroin before he got on real medicine. All you 20-25 year olds make sure to take schizophrenia seriously if you think you may have it. He thought demons were trying to get him.
Be well everyone and don’t be too critical of yourselves.
i think benzo was the guy who owned the source and had beef w/ eminem.Expand QuoteThats rad not to work and I mean that but why are you visiting these stupid fucks? What are benzos?Expand QuoteMy Psychiatrist my Psychologist and my PCP all gave me shit today. They say I should contribute more to life than riding my skateboard and stealing. They are punishing me by taking away my benzos though I have never tested negative in 20 years meaning I don’t sell them.
They say it’s killing my drive but they don’t understand.
Fuck selling art fuck being a graphic designer fuck painting shoes for dope dealers. I’m not ever ever going back to work.
I want to die a 80 year old hill bombing freight painting show going bum[close][close]
honestly though, maybe your life will open up if you get offa them things. they dull you enough that you accept subpar life standards instead of changing them. i feel a lot more engaged w/ the world w/out them, that's just me though.
I am obsessed with getting rid of the neighbors.Is this real. Im not sure if this account is real. How is it that your on about sex offenders all the time and this happens? Maybe.
Fucker compliments how my kid looks. Then a few mins later started talking about how they were accused of child touching.
I’m really fucking losing it over this and I don’t know how to deal with it
Is this real. Im not sure if this account is real. How is it that your on about sex offenders all the time and this happens? Maybe.Expand QuoteI am obsessed with getting rid of the neighbors.
Fucker compliments how my kid looks. Then a few mins later started talking about how they were accused of child touching.
You responded to the original post of when I found out. My mind is locked on this because of my hyper vigilance
I’m really fucking losing it over this and I don’t know how to deal with it[close]
It’s been bothering me for like 7 or 8 days.
The person was gone but now they’re back.
I have no idea how to deal with this
Expand QuoteIt’s been bothering me for like 7 or 8 days.
The person was gone but now they’re back.
I have no idea how to deal with this[close]
I actually just moved from a townhome next door to a registered sex offender. Some type of porn deal, tier 1. Didn't do my due diligence before I moved in.
What I'd recommend is contacting your local sheriff. They can give you as much info on the guy as the law allows and advise you on how to act and what to look for, as well as who to contact in the event of suspicion.
I'm hypervigilant myself, what with OCD and all, so I feel you on that. Taking the steps above may ease your mind a little--I know they did mine.
The way we feel is a choice we make.I disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we make
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.
yea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.I disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close]
Yah life happens without our choices considered sometimes. There are things that could happen to you/ur family/ur people that you have a hard time recovering from, -dont forget.yea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.Expand QuoteI disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close][close]
yea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.Expand QuoteI disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close][close]
Expand Quoteyea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.Expand QuoteI disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close][close][close]
Outlook can help, but I get tired of the 'choose to be happy' shit. Like, not having a choice is what makes it mental illness. That's kinda the fucking point.
Like, my wife will say 'you don't have to check that' when I check locks, etc over and over. And I always tell her that I can choose not to, but that doesn't mean I don't suffer from the impulse.
(https://i.giphy.com/media/bg4pMH02w4Tx6/giphy.gif)
SUFFER is the word of a VICTIM.Expand Quoteyea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.Expand QuoteI disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close][close][close]
Outlook can help, but I get tired of the 'choose to be happy' shit. Like, not having a choice is what makes it mental illness. That's kinda the fucking point.
Like, my wife will say 'you don't have to check that' when I check locks, etc over and over. And I always tell her that I can choose not to, but that doesn't mean I don't suffer from the impulse.
You're just fucking lazy. And you have kids. Shame on you.
Fuck selling art fuck being a graphic designer fuck painting shoes for dope dealers. I’m not ever ever going back to work.
I want to die a 80 year old hill bombing freight painting show going bum
Anxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.Dude ur young if you dont know that some people have good reason to be dysfuntional. Kids get sexually enslaved all over the place or million other things. Hopefully nothing happens like that to you or ur family and you remain blissfully ignorant.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.
Man, you seem to have a very strong myself vs. the world type of approach to this website. I think it's a bit of a shame because you chiming in on skate shit is growing on me; even when I don't necessarily agree, I like the sharp wit.I'm glad you understand my intention. There's hope for the collective membership here yet.
This is a different matter though and while I get what you're trying to convey, and the good intention behind the shock value, I can guarantee you that the human brain is more complex than you seem to think (on the sole basis of what you expressed), and I think you have to understand that some key logic or cognitive abilities that are so elementary and mundane, yet so crucial to people not suffering from certain mental conditions are legitimately impaired in the people suffering from them. You can't force synaptic connections into those people's brains; actually, their brains missing them constitutes their very illness, so they'd probably be thankful if you could equip them. But words aren't direct chemicals. In most serious cases, you'll just hurt people who've been hearing the same tired motivational speech by strangers their whole life, get the gist of it way more than you assume they do (or than you even do yourself), but just can't help but witness the persistance of their physical inability to function the way they would like to.
Obviously everybody likes to publicly diagnose themselves this or that nowadays with varying degrees of justification, but that's no reason not to take mental handicaps lightheartedly. OCD killed Joey Ramone and I'm sure keeps devouring many others to this day; don't let your mind slip distracted by the noise of the kid at the park who claims every of Reynolds' tics for anonymous attention. Of course a lot of people do need wake up calls, but if you're dealing with someone with an actual disorder then your voice isn't getting anywhere ever, and you'll just be another pain to them.
joey ramone died of cancer
Anxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.Sometimes, anxiety and depression can be debilitating and you can't even get up and "do something about it". If you're hardass approach of knuckling down and moving through it works for you and other, then that's great! But it's not that easy for everyone else who struggles with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.
Ok. You're right. Surround yourself with people who coddle you all the time and allow you to excuse yourself for any shortcoming. That'll fix it.Sometimes, anxiety and depression can be debilitating and you can't even get up and "do something about it". If you're hardass approach of knuckling down and moving through it works for you and other, then that's great! But it's not that easy for everyone else who struggles with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.Expand QuoteAnxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.[close]
Being supportive and coddling are two different things. Surrounding yourself with people who are sympathetic to your mental illness is what will help you overcome it. Yes, you as an individual need to do the work and make the commitment to go on medication, seek counseling, etc., but that's pretty difficult to do on your ownOk. You're right. Surround yourself with people who coddle you all the time and allow you to excuse yourself for any shortcoming. That'll fix it.Expand QuoteSometimes, anxiety and depression can be debilitating and you can't even get up and "do something about it". If you're hardass approach of knuckling down and moving through it works for you and other, then that's great! But it's not that easy for everyone else who struggles with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.Expand QuoteAnxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.[close][close]
People who join SLAP thinking it's some kind of entity to fight and shape, when reality everybody's chilling up in here (and can't grasp why some people create accounts just to talk shit on this or that member, when they might as well just start enjoying themselves too).ppl in this thread gotta vent, and schooling them doesn't necessarily help anyone -- including yourself. i'm verging on biting that same bullet, so i'll shut up. but good points all around. and again, cheers mark renton !
slap is toxic.If you mean "christian values" then yah porn does that (I myself am christian) But scientifically 'family values' isn't a thing. We come from ancestors that didn't know whos kin was who's cause it thats what it was in the cave. Woman had multiple partners. Once agriculture happened you got surplus and the the need to know who you're kids were to pass the surplus onto. Women lost they're power when the hunter gather community died and then they became property.
pornography is undermining family values.
everything is a choice.
I know this post is a month old, and i’m not trying to make a joke but honestly I think if u did go on some crazy trip like that maybe you wouldn’t feel like killing yourself anymore. You wouldn’t even need that much money to go to thailand and bang hookers. Maybe go easy on the drugs thoYeah dude. On top of the nonstop runny nose that I have all year, during this time I have a terrible cough at night which makes it harder to sleep. The sleep apnea doesn't help either. Straight up, breathing, laying down, and sleeping are actual burdens for me. When I'm not working, I'm still fucking working. Holy shit, I hate everything. Why the fuck did I have to be born? I gotta man up and off myself already. I should go take out the biggest loan I can get, quit my job, go on a trip to Thailand, bang hookers, do drugs, come back home, buy a gun and end it.Expand QuoteAnyones seasonal allergies intensify depression/ have any good leads on how to make that chill the fuck out? God damn some mornings in the spring/ summer are almost impossible.[close]
Sometimes I get frightened that my loved ones are in mortal danger. I’m told this is part of my PTSD. I have to pull over because I can’t breathe.
Since I have been forced into a Xanax taper it’s gotten way way worse.
It’s totally Fucked. In the past I would be sitting behind my work and I could see my mothers car on fire on the bridge down the canal because she was late. That was way before my brother was murdered by a paid police informant/coke dealer.
My cousin was killed in a car crash in 1986. That is why I gave most of my life to skateboarding.
All my friends are dead
Expand QuoteSometimes I get frightened that my loved ones are in mortal danger. I’m told this is part of my PTSD. I have to pull over because I can’t breathe.
Since I have been forced into a Xanax taper it’s gotten way way worse.
It’s totally Fucked. In the past I would be sitting behind my work and I could see my mothers car on fire on the bridge down the canal because she was late. That was way before my brother was murdered by a paid police informant/coke dealer.
My cousin was killed in a car crash in 1986. That is why I gave most of my life to skateboarding.
All my friends are dead[close]
I don't really get this part, what do they have to do with each other?
Ok. You're right. Surround yourself with people who coddle you all the time and allow you to excuse yourself for any shortcoming. That'll fix it.Expand QuoteSometimes, anxiety and depression can be debilitating and you can't even get up and "do something about it". If you're hardass approach of knuckling down and moving through it works for you and other, then that's great! But it's not that easy for everyone else who struggles with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.Expand QuoteAnxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.[close][close]
ive also bailed from social media for over the past month and i can say though super out of the loop, its super refreshing and calming to not have something to do every god damn second. I have WAY more free time than i could even wrap my head around. Its gross how often i was on my phone. I try to paint or skate daily for a little longer in replacement for lack of instagram.Dude I have quit last 6 months both FB and IG and have never felt happier since then. I know when on both it is used as a form of connection to others but apart from that I stay away as it is a zombie inducing euphoria others cannot stop using. I like to do other things none skating wise to fill in that time albeit photography or bike riding as the time staring into a screen like a void just bums me out.
As infamously noted before I have a FB page with a lot of followers but my personal is blank, no friends no followers following nothing and noone. All I do is post to my skate page. I have an IG account for that page but it just sits there, instagram was the opening to the end of skateboarding as we all knew it. Too far gone now.Dude I have quit last 6 months both FB and IG and have never felt happier since then. I know when on both it is used as a form of connection to others but apart from that I stay away as it is a zombie inducing euphoria others cannot stop using. I like to do other things none skating wise to fill in that time albeit photography or bike riding as the time staring into a screen like a void just bums me out.Expand Quoteive also bailed from social media for over the past month and i can say though super out of the loop, its super refreshing and calming to not have something to do every god damn second. I have WAY more free time than i could even wrap my head around. Its gross how often i was on my phone. I try to paint or skate daily for a little longer in replacement for lack of instagram.[close]
As infamously noted before I have a FB page with a lot of followers but my personal is blank, no friends no followers following nothing and noone. All I do is post to my skate page. I have an IG account for that page but it just sits there, instagram was the opening to the end of skateboarding as we all knew it. Too far gone now.Expand QuoteDude I have quit last 6 months both FB and IG and have never felt happier since then. I know when on both it is used as a form of connection to others but apart from that I stay away as it is a zombie inducing euphoria others cannot stop using. I like to do other things none skating wise to fill in that time albeit photography or bike riding as the time staring into a screen like a void just bums me out.Expand Quoteive also bailed from social media for over the past month and i can say though super out of the loop, its super refreshing and calming to not have something to do every god damn second. I have WAY more free time than i could even wrap my head around. Its gross how often i was on my phone. I try to paint or skate daily for a little longer in replacement for lack of instagram.[close][close]
Expand Quoteive also bailed from social media for over the past month and i can say though super out of the loop, its super refreshing and calming to not have something to do every god damn second. I have WAY more free time than i could even wrap my head around. Its gross how often i was on my phone. I try to paint or skate daily for a little longer in replacement for lack of instagram.[close]
staring into a screen like a void just bums me out.
Wow dude you are a fucking horrible person and I mean that. I cannot speak for most people on here with their own issues but is that how you treat a person who’s been raped or abused by family members or a product of incest?Ok. You're right. Surround yourself with people who coddle you all the time and allow you to excuse yourself for any shortcoming. That'll fix it.Expand QuoteSometimes, anxiety and depression can be debilitating and you can't even get up and "do something about it". If you're hardass approach of knuckling down and moving through it works for you and other, then that's great! But it's not that easy for everyone else who struggles with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.Expand QuoteAnxiety and depression is NORMAL. EVERYONE experiences it.
Chances are, it's your fault. OMG!? GASP!? "MY OWN FAULT?" Yeah, your own fucking fault. And you need someone to make you understand that.
Anxiety over what? Just a general feeling of anxiety? Too fucking bad. If thats who you are then thats who you are. Noone will "Fix" it. BUT, almost ALWAYS, the anxiety is over something YOU COULD CHANGE but instead you spend energy to bawl about it. Get the fuck up and change it.[close][close]
I hope you have a kid and it gets abused and your kid shoots himselfNeat
i want to stomp on your children's testicals so you can know the pain i feel every day.NeatExpand QuoteI hope you have a kid and it gets abused and your kid shoots himself[close]
Oh wait you'd need a pill to comfort your feels first then you'd die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa_LRCvQ5SkExpand QuoteOh wait you'd need a pill to comfort your feels first then you'd die[close]
How does it feel having to repeat the 7th grade next year?
Good thing you people were born in a time of excess. Not a single one of you whiny fuckers would have made it this far otherwise. Your ancestors pulled bullets out of themselves and burned the wounds shut. You'd just lay there and die.
Oh wait you'd need a pill to comfort your feels first then you'd die
Guys you do realize soon banned is special right? He really thinks people will get rowdy because of him but in reality no one cares. Just let him do his little special dance and then we can have the real fun of slap.
Expand QuoteGuys you do realize soon banned is special right? He really thinks people will get rowdy because of him but in reality no one cares. Just let him do his little special dance and then we can have the real fun of slap.[close]
I love Soon banned. I want to slip him the chicken
what did he do?Expand QuoteExpand QuoteGuys you do realize soon banned is special right? He really thinks people will get rowdy because of him but in reality no one cares. Just let him do his little special dance and then we can have the real fun of slap.[close]
I love Soon banned. I want to slip him the chicken[close]
Well he's actually banned now, so you will have to slip the chicken to his next account. So keep a look out.
what did he do?Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteGuys you do realize soon banned is special right? He really thinks people will get rowdy because of him but in reality no one cares. Just let him do his little special dance and then we can have the real fun of slap.[close]
I love Soon banned. I want to slip him the chicken[close]
Well he's actually banned now, so you will have to slip the chicken to his next account. So keep a look out.[close]
^ on here if a user's screen name shows up as deleted and claims 'guest', it means that the person has decided to focus their account; I don't think one can visually tell banned accounts from just looking at a page of the boards like that, banned profiles never seem to explicitly appear marked as such.
My brother was murdered in 2006. He was 20.that's really sad, like for reals I have had to carry out bodies of homies and ex's it is not fun to kick it one day and next day fucking gone.
I had dropped 4 rolls right before being brought to the hospital to see my brother for the last time.
He was laying on a slab with a plastic thing sticking out of his face. It was the most horrendous thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I can see it all over again sometimes.
I wrote out the entire story but I erased it.
Hold on tightly to your loved ones. You never know when the system is going to try and grind you up.
My brother was the only person who loved me unconditionally. I came out to him and he gave me a hug.
He asked if he was the first person I told I said yes.
Best buds. I always had nightmares about losing my two youngest brothers and it came true
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteGuys you do realize soon banned is special right? He really thinks people will get rowdy because of him but in reality no one cares. Just let him do his little special dance and then we can have the real fun of slap.[close]
I love Soon banned. I want to slip him the chicken[close]
Well he's actually banned now, so you will have to slip the chicken to his next account. So keep a look out.
im in so much pain that I can barely live with what has just happened. I apologize to everyone except soon banned
Started this thread a while ago at a dead end looking to vent. Had a breakdown in August sometime and took 4 Percocets on top of my normal 12 beers a night routine. Idk why I did that, I just wanted to get really fucked up I guess. It took 4 months to see a psychiatrist and I finally got in. I’ve been on zoloft now for 2 months now 1 month at 50mg and 1 month on 100mg. Doc wanted me to start abilify but I couldn’t afford it. I had a reaction that made me super manic from it for about a week recently and right now I feel like my old existential crisis self except maybe more apathetic, idk today was rough. Still taking it next appointment is in 3 weeks. Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing.I'm doing all right. Was getting pretty bad recently. Crazy stress, being a dick and screaming at my girlfriend, being horrible to be around. Was getting ready to get back on some anti anxiety medication and possibly some anti-depressants again. ADD meds probably weren't helping me. Stopped taking those, start taking cbd, doing well the past week. It's worth the stress of having trouble concentrating rather than making myself stress out because I can't stop thinking of the things I can't change. My last time on anti depressants was like a year and a half ago. The last one worked better than any I had taken before but was the only medication I've ever had a hard time getting off. It was so bad. Remeron is awesome but getting off is the fucking worst.
Shalom
The things that get a hold of me and make me feel absolutely bummed that I hear albeit watching the news or just people watching.
You can see the division and or the fear of others just by people watching
I do have" friends" rather acquaintances I sometimes speak with and tbh it bums me out, the closeness I felt when I didn't have a job or responsibilities I can't find that unique one solid friend anymore.
Even when I do find someone with similar interests it's either scenarios I annoy them or vice versa or my bullshit upstairs in my head will tell me otherwise that someone is using me and you have seen this beforehand cut your losses, or the old yeah call me anytime and they ghost me like a bitch. either way it's been since 2003 since I had a decent friend to really count on as a homie, for now I won't hold my breathe for anything. call me an asshole whatever I just see it for what it is.
I hate the idea of ghosting someone as that is not how I operate, I'd rather tell you to your face to fuck off or we've got to go different ways. as a solid person I believe the same should be upheld but that's my own expectations that let me down.
I know this won't mean much to others but one of the reasons I like SLAP is maybe just maybe one day I could meet someone from here in my town and we could skate this area and build some shit.
Hey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking LexaproI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand
I looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?I never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close]
too depressed to get help, last time i tried the prick kept inferring that i was on meth. everyone thinks im a drug addict in my town, doesn't help being skinny and tall living on $50 a week for food and the area is known for meth.
i isolate a ton, only therapist i talk to now is my old one who is retired and in the beginning stages of dementia..
im literally on my fucking own and i am my own worst enemy..
Expand Quotetoo depressed to get help, last time i tried the prick kept inferring that i was on meth. everyone thinks im a drug addict in my town, doesn't help being skinny and tall living on $50 a week for food and the area is known for meth.
i isolate a ton, only therapist i talk to now is my old one who is retired and in the beginning stages of dementia..
im literally on my fucking own and i am my own worst enemy..[close]
Where are you at? Can you get or need insurance or food assistance? Definitely look into it if you can. Do you have any friends that you are really close too? If so talk to them for sure. Maybe try and meet up with some pals on here and skate.
Apply for medical at the same place you get your foodstamps.Expand QuoteExpand Quotetoo depressed to get help, last time i tried the prick kept inferring that i was on meth. everyone thinks im a drug addict in my town, doesn't help being skinny and tall living on $50 a week for food and the area is known for meth.
i isolate a ton, only therapist i talk to now is my old one who is retired and in the beginning stages of dementia..
im literally on my fucking own and i am my own worst enemy..[close]
Where are you at? Can you get or need insurance or food assistance? Definitely look into it if you can. Do you have any friends that you are really close too? If so talk to them for sure. Maybe try and meet up with some pals on here and skate.[close]
i live in california, around the sac area. the $200 i get a month for food is from welfare. i keep intending on getting help but for some reason i can't get the wheels turning. i do not have many close friends that understand, most of my social circle has kinda drifted off, i find it tough to make friends. could be the area but i am also an odd person and i have trouble asking for help or reaching out to people, i dont know why.
mushrooms were helping but i ran out, i keep myself invovled in music projects and art when im not skating. i've really been trying to find the "right" people i guess
cuz when i try to make friends around my area i am always left running back to my cave. i think thats why i skate alone in parking lots, so i can focus and i dont have to be a punchline to some fuck who wants to look cool in front of the homies.
I looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close]
Expand QuoteI looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close][close]
I was on a heavy dose of lexapro for a few years
While I did already have OCD beforehand, I would find it brought my intrusive thoughts more ‘forward’ from time to time
I’m not a good case study for lexapro causing OCD because of that but the few doctors I’ve spoken to about it say that it usually just causes EXISTING thoughts to become more conscious rather than subliminal.
I will say that lexapro and Xanax withdrawals suck dick.
I can’t speak for Thom here but for me I was able to get off them by slowly going down. By the time I was down to just a single pill I would break it in half to only take half doses. Eventually I got used to it and went off them. Hope this kinda helps youExpand QuoteExpand QuoteI looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close][close]
I was on a heavy dose of lexapro for a few years
While I did already have OCD beforehand, I would find it brought my intrusive thoughts more ‘forward’ from time to time
I’m not a good case study for lexapro causing OCD because of that but the few doctors I’ve spoken to about it say that it usually just causes EXISTING thoughts to become more conscious rather than subliminal.
I will say that lexapro and Xanax withdrawals suck dick.[close]
Lexapro withdrawals are the worst! I've tried to get off a few times and couldn't. Brain zaps and dizziness mostly. Tapering really slowly too. Did you get totally off them? If you did, how so?
Sounds like Remeron. Awesome medication, horrible withdrawal. Would have to break the pills up so small. Even a tiny speck of the pill would put me to sleep. And if I didn’t take the tiny speck I would have horrible anxiety. Was about a month of hell.I can’t speak for Thom here but for me I was able to get off them by slowly going down. By the time I was down to just a single pill I would break it in half to only take half doses. Eventually I got used to it and went off them. Hope this kinda helps youExpand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteI looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close][close]
I was on a heavy dose of lexapro for a few years
While I did already have OCD beforehand, I would find it brought my intrusive thoughts more ‘forward’ from time to time
I’m not a good case study for lexapro causing OCD because of that but the few doctors I’ve spoken to about it say that it usually just causes EXISTING thoughts to become more conscious rather than subliminal.
I will say that lexapro and Xanax withdrawals suck dick.[close]
Lexapro withdrawals are the worst! I've tried to get off a few times and couldn't. Brain zaps and dizziness mostly. Tapering really slowly too. Did you get totally off them? If you did, how so?[close]
Anybody else get uncontrolled muscle spasms? I've been having these random jerking movements for the last 4 months or so. Doc says it's stress, but I'm pretty suspicious of the drug cocktail I'm on.Probably stress. Didn’t realize how tense my body actually gets from stress until a couple months ago. I though saying someone was tense was just a saying but your body muscles actually do tighten up. Stretching I bet would help. I’ve never had any medications make me have muscle spasms.
Anybody else get uncontrolled muscle spasms? I've been having these random jerking movements for the last 4 months or so. Doc says it's stress, but I'm pretty suspicious of the drug cocktail I'm on.
Anybody else get uncontrolled muscle spasms? I've been having these random jerking movements for the last 4 months or so. Doc says it's stress, but I'm pretty suspicious of the drug cocktail I'm on.
I can’t speak for Thom here but for me I was able to get off them by slowly going down. By the time I was down to just a single pill I would break it in half to only take half doses. Eventually I got used to it and went off them. Hope this kinda helps youExpand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteI looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close][close]
I was on a heavy dose of lexapro for a few years
While I did already have OCD beforehand, I would find it brought my intrusive thoughts more ‘forward’ from time to time
I’m not a good case study for lexapro causing OCD because of that but the few doctors I’ve spoken to about it say that it usually just causes EXISTING thoughts to become more conscious rather than subliminal.
I will say that lexapro and Xanax withdrawals suck dick.[close]
Lexapro withdrawals are the worst! I've tried to get off a few times and couldn't. Brain zaps and dizziness mostly. Tapering really slowly too. Did you get totally off them? If you did, how so?[close]
I can't sit in a room with a group of people for more than a few hours. This makes study and employment almost unacheivable. I flip stuff and make artwork for a living and get a small amount on welfare, somehow I still have disposable income. But at this point it looks like im stuck here forever.
I can't sit in a room with a group of people for more than a few hours. This makes study and employment almost unacheivable. I flip stuff and make artwork for a living and get a small amount on welfare, somehow I still have disposable income. But at this point it looks like im stuck here forever.If you have disposable income and you aren’t working a regular job and don’t stress about making money you are doing pretty good.
Expand QuoteI can’t speak for Thom here but for me I was able to get off them by slowly going down. By the time I was down to just a single pill I would break it in half to only take half doses. Eventually I got used to it and went off them. Hope this kinda helps youExpand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteI looked into it before and although the the meds don’t inherently give you OCD, SSRIs can it seems strengthen or heighten the intrusive thoughts and compulsions that one can have. Both myself and my partners Mom both had taken lexapro at some point in our lives and it ended up in both of us having OCD like behaviors. Fuck did I already have OCD to begin with?Expand QuoteI never heard the OCD thing. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't know Lexapro and the onset of OCD are related. I can back you on the sexual side effects in that it's very common in antidepressants. In fact I've personally never been on an antidepressant that didn't lead to a measure of dysfunction. Luckily that's not an issue for my lifestyle, but I can see it being a very prominent one for a lot of people. One that could potentially lead to deepening depression.Expand QuoteHey y’all idk if this needs to be said but Ive been off my medication for about almost 4 months now (successfully with no issues)and I have some 2 little things of advice/caution for those taking or considering taking Lexapro
1. It can make you horribly OCD. I had been taking the medication for almost about a year and I’d say about 3 months into it, it made me have horrible hand-washing issues. Like I had to wash my hands exactly 5-7 times at the sink type shit. I also had OCD about making my shoes match with my board and other very stressful things.
2. It can make sex difficult to say the least. Won’t get too into it but if you already have physical issues in your sex life I strongly advise you not to take the medication.
I hope someone uses this info to their advantage cuz I really wish someone would of told me this beforehand[close][close][close]
I was on a heavy dose of lexapro for a few years
While I did already have OCD beforehand, I would find it brought my intrusive thoughts more ‘forward’ from time to time
I’m not a good case study for lexapro causing OCD because of that but the few doctors I’ve spoken to about it say that it usually just causes EXISTING thoughts to become more conscious rather than subliminal.
I will say that lexapro and Xanax withdrawals suck dick.[close]
Lexapro withdrawals are the worst! I've tried to get off a few times and couldn't. Brain zaps and dizziness mostly. Tapering really slowly too. Did you get totally off them? If you did, how so?[close][close]
Yeah I weened off a week at a time between dose changes, then every other day on the smallest dose
Dude it sucked, I had a couple small seizures some black outs...
The doctor didn’t want me to discontinue the meds so I did it myself and suffered the consequences
But I’m very glad I did, therapy helped more than drugs
I can't sit in a room with a group of people for more than a few hours. This makes study and employment almost unacheivable. I flip stuff and make artwork for a living and get a small amount on welfare, somehow I still have disposable income. But at this point it looks like im stuck here forever.
Expand QuoteI can't sit in a room with a group of people for more than a few hours. This makes study and employment almost unacheivable. I flip stuff and make artwork for a living and get a small amount on welfare, somehow I still have disposable income. But at this point it looks like im stuck here forever.[close]
What happens ? Just Anxiety or something?
Last week I started taking Zoloft again, after stopping for a few months.I have been on Zoloft for nearly a year now and I completely agree with you about the unexpected benefit of my libido being nearly muted. I went 5 days in a row doing productive stuff all day before I even realized that I hadn't had sex or jerked off in those five days.
Having pretty much no libido for a change is actually kinda dope, way less distracting.
Is anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)I’m supposed to be on colanadine which is a meds for schizophrenia behaviors and an ssri celexa which is antidepressant.
That's sick really. (edit ha I'm mean 'sick' like 'rad' and Dystopia is a band for the ages)I’m supposed to be on colanadine which is a meds for schizophrenia behaviors and an ssri celexa which is antidepressant.Expand QuoteIs anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)[close]
I’ve had issues with delusions/mania but since I know what’s wrong and I’m with supportive people who help me calm down and talk me out of my delusions.
I know it sounds easier said than done but as long as I’ve got something to distract me and engage my senses I’m good.
I hate when I have a bad day but it’s all about having people who can get to you and help you out by being there either as a presence or someone who will listen, you’ll be better.
My wife is amazing and her family is rad for dealing with my crazy shit for this long. I know I’m not the greatest person in the world and my actions have been not so great but damned if my wife has helped me out with sobriety and other things that I’ve never considered as an outsider.That's sick really. (edit ha I'm mean 'sick' like 'rad' and Dystopia is a band for the ages)Expand QuoteI’m supposed to be on colanadine which is a meds for schizophrenia behaviors and an ssri celexa which is antidepressant.Expand QuoteIs anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)[close]
I’ve had issues with delusions/mania but since I know what’s wrong and I’m with supportive people who help me calm down and talk me out of my delusions.
I know it sounds easier said than done but as long as I’ve got something to distract me and engage my senses I’m good.
I hate when I have a bad day but it’s all about having people who can get to you and help you out by being there either as a presence or someone who will listen, you’ll be better.[close]
Also I'm 43. Having the kind of support group you describe is a lil bit different for me. I'm not really in a large peer group as a 43 year old skater. My gf is amazing.
Is anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)
Expand QuoteIs anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)[close]
yes travel and weed. I also use other hallucinogenic toys for opioid replacement therapy crack replacement therapy dust replacement therapy... Benzodiazepines are being slowly taken away so I got to treat my anxiety in this manner
I'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.Good luck! Sometimes outpatient MH clinics have support groups. You can check PsychologyToday or Google search community mental health clinics in your zip. This might not be your thing, but lots of churches have open small groups. Mine actually has one for atheists and it isn't spiritual based. When I was in college I went to one and met a lot of cool people.
My doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.
I'm on some pretty heavy SSRI (Luvox) that is supposed to specifically help with OCD but I don't really notice that aspect of the medication. They also have me on alot of Gabapentin, like 300mg 3x a day, but I only take 300mg once in the AM and 300 mg once before bed. I'm prescribed clonazepam 1mg 3x a day but only take it as needed, which is usually maybe only once a day. It also doesn't help that I enjoy opiates and have access to legit ones. Those make me feel like god in the moment and like hell the next day, which obviously leads to a cycle.
I gotta get straight. Life is pain
Yeah fuck a doctor and medicine listen to the guy posting crust punk tracks on slapExpand QuoteMy doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.[close]
it's a similar feeling
It's also not very good for you. Try edibles yo
Yeah fuck a doctor and medicine listen to the guy posting crust punk tracks on slapExpand QuoteExpand QuoteMy doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.[close]
it's a similar feeling
It's also not very good for you. Try edibles yo[close]
I'm on some pretty heavy SSRI (Luvox) that is supposed to specifically help with OCD but I don't really notice that aspect of the medication. They also have me on alot of Gabapentin, like 300mg 3x a day, but I only take 300mg once in the AM and 300 mg once before bed. I'm prescribed clonazepam 1mg 3x a day but only take it as needed, which is usually maybe only once a day. It also doesn't help that I enjoy opiates and have access to legit ones. Those make me feel like god in the moment and like hell the next day, which obviously leads to a cycle.
I gotta get straight. Life is pain
Opiate habit? whoo thats a fuckin mess! Good luck on the mission bro, you got it.Expand QuoteI'm on some pretty heavy SSRI (Luvox) that is supposed to specifically help with OCD but I don't really notice that aspect of the medication. They also have me on alot of Gabapentin, like 300mg 3x a day, but I only take 300mg once in the AM and 300 mg once before bed. I'm prescribed clonazepam 1mg 3x a day but only take it as needed, which is usually maybe only once a day. It also doesn't help that I enjoy opiates and have access to legit ones. Those make me feel like god in the moment and like hell the next day, which obviously leads to a cycle.
I gotta get straight. Life is pain[close]
To be honest, that's a fairly low dose of gabapentin if you're using it as an antidepressant.
If you enjoy opiates, save the gabapentin for when you're withdrawing. It is great for RLS at night.
I've got a pretty shitty opiate habit at the moment. Going to try to kick this weekend/coming week.
The guy posting crust punk gets zero commision from the drug companies and edibles won't cut ur life span.Yeah fuck a doctor and medicine listen to the guy posting crust punk tracks on slapExpand QuoteExpand QuoteMy doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.[close]
it's a similar feeling
It's also not very good for you. Try edibles yo[close]
I’m supposed to be on colanadine which is a meds for schizophrenia behaviors and an ssri celexa which is antidepressant.Expand QuoteIs anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)[close]
I’ve had issues with delusions/mania but since I know what’s wrong and I’m with supportive people who help me calm down and talk me out of my delusions.
I know it sounds easier said than done but as long as I’ve got something to distract me and engage my senses I’m good.
I hate when I have a bad day but it’s all about having people who can get to you and help you out by being there either as a presence or someone who will listen, you’ll be better.
My doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.
Opiate habit? whoo thats a fuckin mess! Good luck on the mission bro, you got it.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI'm on some pretty heavy SSRI (Luvox) that is supposed to specifically help with OCD but I don't really notice that aspect of the medication. They also have me on alot of Gabapentin, like 300mg 3x a day, but I only take 300mg once in the AM and 300 mg once before bed. I'm prescribed clonazepam 1mg 3x a day but only take it as needed, which is usually maybe only once a day. It also doesn't help that I enjoy opiates and have access to legit ones. Those make me feel like god in the moment and like hell the next day, which obviously leads to a cycle.
I gotta get straight. Life is pain[close]
To be honest, that's a fairly low dose of gabapentin if you're using it as an antidepressant.
If you enjoy opiates, save the gabapentin for when you're withdrawing. It is great for RLS at night.
I've got a pretty shitty opiate habit at the moment. Going to try to kick this weekend/coming week.[close]
Expand QuoteI’m supposed to be on colanadine which is a meds for schizophrenia behaviors and an ssri celexa which is antidepressant.Expand QuoteIs anybody here have episodes and refuse to medicate other then weed? I get episodes of parinoia that are pretty much epic in proportion. I just shake em off. I guess its not hard cause it might happen once or twice a month same with my anxiety. (travelling completely cures my anxiety miraculously but certainly not the parinoia.)[close]
I’ve had issues with delusions/mania but since I know what’s wrong and I’m with supportive people who help me calm down and talk me out of my delusions.
I know it sounds easier said than done but as long as I’ve got something to distract me and engage my senses I’m good.
I hate when I have a bad day but it’s all about having people who can get to you and help you out by being there either as a presence or someone who will listen, you’ll be better.[close]
Do you mean Clonodine? It's actually a blood pressure medication. It's often used to help people who are detoxing off of opioids, benzos, and/or alcohol. They also often prescribe it to people who are ADHD because it calms them down and if they are on stimulants it helps them fall asleep/comedown easier.
I'm assuming you are on it to keep your blood pressure lower which makes you calmer which would help with some of your symptoms and possibly prevent some episodes from occurring. It's not a very strong drug and it certainly isn't going to change your brain chemistry like an SSRI or anti-psychotic would. It's your body obviously but I'd recommend taking it. It's very safe, doesn't feel druggy like benzos and anti-psychotics do, and cheap but it will help.
I have used it for kicking heroin cold turkey in the past and it helped quite a bit. It actually allowed me to get my heart rate close enough to normal so I could get a few hours of sleep that I wouldn't normally have gotten. I'm on Suboxone now and take clonodine whenever I taper and have anxiety, panic attacks, and increased insomnia.
Btw it's a non-habit forming chemical and it is not abusable. Also there are no hangovers or anything like Seroquel, benzos, etc. Why do you not take it? I understand why somebody might not take SSRIs but not a simple blood pressure medication that helps with so many things with so few side effects.Expand QuoteMy doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin as I was wrongly put on adderall forever ago (2012). Seems like the side effects are the same as adderall but since it’s not a stimulant it should be better.[close]
Wellbutrin (Bupropion) is nothing like Adderall (Mixed Amphetamine Salts). It is a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) and not an amphetamine. The effects are insanely different, the way it works is nothing like an amphetamine, etc. The side effects are very different btw. It's mainly used for depression and addiction (especially nicotine addiction). There is a chance that it could make you suicidal, it is very similar to an SSRI. Also stimulants tend to make people horny while NDRIs tend to decrease your libido, although not nearly as bad as SSRIs. I'd recommend doing a lot more research as you sound very misinformed. Whoever told you the side effects are similar are insane and incorrect. Wellbutrin also isn't very effect in the treatment of ADHD/ADD. While it can help it won't help very much. Stimulants help and allow you to focus however they are very addicting, suppress appetite, cause insomnia, etc. If you do any recreational drugs make sure you research if they are safe to take while on Wellbutrin, many are not and can cause horrible reactions such as Serotonin Syndrome much like SSRIs can. Drugs like MDMA and anti-depressants CAN'T BE TAKEN TOGETHER as it is very dangerous and you will feel like shit. I'm an ex-junkie who would do dangerous combos like shooting speedballs and taking benzos and opiates together but I'd never ever even think about taking anti-depressants and MDMA (and many other chemicals) together as it is absolutely going to cause negative side effects no matter what.
I'd recommend looking into a drug called guanfacine. There are very few side effects and it is not abusable like stimulants. Also instead of making it hard to sleep and eat it actually helps you sleep but does not feel druggy at all. It's similar to drugs like Clonodine as it is a blood pressure medication. Guanfacine however is used for for ADHD and works quite well. It's often paired with stimulants but it can be used by itself. If you aren't ADHD to the point of absolutely needing stimulants it's a great option. I'd highly recommend trying it before using Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is a very useful chemical but it's not usually used for ADHD and the risk for suicide, the lack of emotions it can cause, and the sexual dysfunction are absolutely terrifying. If you do go on Wellbutrin make sure you don't suddenly stop taking it, you will need to taper and be in contact with your doctor otherwise it can be dangerous.
Seriously though ask your doctor about Guanfacine and read about it. Clinical studies are quite impressive for a non-stimulant. Otherwise maybe try a less intense stimulant. I took Wellbutrin when I was in rehab for depression and addiction but it made me feel like a zombie and killed my sex drive. I had no interest in sex even with my dream girl whom I was dating at the time. While I wasn't sad I wasn't happy either. No highs or lows, just bleh. That's fine if you are insanely depressed and never happy at all but I wasn't at that level and it doesn't sound like you are either.
If you were wrongly diagnosed why do you need it though? What did you get re-diagnosed with? There is a war on masculinity currently and they are over-medicating young boys/young men for doing what boys do. If you don't need it fuck it. At least the blood pressure medication I mentioned isn't habit forming, change how you act as a person like stimulants and anti-depressantsr, nor have insane side effects.
----------------------------
Anyways different topic. Is anyone else here on Suboxone or Methadone maintenance? If so how are you doing, what dose are you on, and how long have you been taking it?
I've been on Suboxone for over two years now. I started at 12mg, stayed at 8mg for most of time, and over the last year or so I've tapered down to 0.5mg. I was down to .25mg but I was getting cravings again so I went to 0.5mg. I believe I jumped too early so I'm sticking to 0.5mg until I'm nice and stable.
My main drug of choice was IV heroin but I started on pills like everyone else... it fucking sucks man. Fuck addiction. It killed my dad (suicide), my friends (suicides and overdoses), caused the breakup between me and the girl I've been in love with since I was 14 years old, ruined college and jobs for me, etc. I'm glad to be doing better but man am I scared to kick Subs. 12-2mg was easy but every taper below 2mg has been pretty hard. I've kicked heavy dope habits cold turkey and obviously that was way more painful but this is scarier for some reason... I don't know why.
Stay strong guys.
I don’t take meds as it’ll take everything out of me that I’m accomplishing, my motivation and manic moods although dangerous I get shit done.
I find therapy and hobbies keep my head busy. Plus I work with elderly people and disabled. My head fucks with me but I don’t got time to mince meds and work just to go to shit.
It’s a lot to take in but I find it better to have hobbies and talk about shit via this way plus who’s really got time to get better when you’ve got something to take care of.
Expand QuoteOpiate habit? whoo thats a fuckin mess! Good luck on the mission bro, you got it.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI'm on some pretty heavy SSRI (Luvox) that is supposed to specifically help with OCD but I don't really notice that aspect of the medication. They also have me on alot of Gabapentin, like 300mg 3x a day, but I only take 300mg once in the AM and 300 mg once before bed. I'm prescribed clonazepam 1mg 3x a day but only take it as needed, which is usually maybe only once a day. It also doesn't help that I enjoy opiates and have access to legit ones. Those make me feel like god in the moment and like hell the next day, which obviously leads to a cycle.
I gotta get straight. Life is pain[close]
To be honest, that's a fairly low dose of gabapentin if you're using it as an antidepressant.
If you enjoy opiates, save the gabapentin for when you're withdrawing. It is great for RLS at night.
I've got a pretty shitty opiate habit at the moment. Going to try to kick this weekend/coming week.[close][close]
thanks bud. I've kicked H a lot of times actually but it's a fent habit right now and it's pretty fucking rough. I need to pass a drug test this week for a job opportunity so I'm kicking cold turkey right now. Well, I used a little this morning but I should start withdrawing in the next few hours. Fingers crossed that I get the job lol. Really don't want to kick for no reason. Opiates really really help with my manic depressive episodes so I don't want to stop unless I'm getting something out of it.
(https://i.imgflip.com/3gzay0.jpg) (https://imgflip.com/i/3gzay0)via Imgflip Meme Generator (https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)Super nice.
Its mostly made on the ceiling with a lighters
I have no idea how to categorize this
When I tell other artists I paint with lighters they look at me funny. They never come by the space.
I need colabs but secondly all the money from all my music art etc goes to charity. I refuse to exchange my thoughts for money.
My family gets very upset about this
Sometimes I think when I die I still wake up. I think I'm immoralImmortal ?
Has anyone here ever had a good experience with hospitalization? It just seems it's bad juju to everyone all of the time.
Has anyone here ever had a good experience with hospitalization? It just seems it's bad juju to everyone all of the time.
Has anyone here ever had a good experience with hospitalization? It just seems it's bad juju to everyone all of the time.
So, I have this problem, I do have some mental heath issues I'll admit it, but my problem is, it it me or is it the people I hang around that mentally makes me worn out. I believe it's my former GSA group. Their all kinda stuck up but this one sticks out the most. He acts like he's the second coming of Christ. I can quote every pretentious thing he's said in my head and anytime I think of him I call him Pretent cunt in my mind.Ur young. In ur life u NEED at least once to reject all people you know for at LEAST a month at least once. Go out, do you, on ur own, fuck em. If u arent capable of this life will drag u around.
Shout out to everyone struggling through the holidays.
Shalom.
sorry assflea. glad you changed your life.
'our revenge will be the laughter of our children' -- bobby sands
I'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.
You think I don't, foo?!Expand QuoteI'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.[close]
Just start drinking
You think I don't, foo?!Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.[close]
Just start drinking[close]
Anyone want to be on my next ep?Only if I get to design the album cover.
Its grind but people call it raw noise today.
Anyways if you want to write a haiku about skateboarding or whatever. I'll put your words or feelings in the song.
haiku seems to fit the best always
Only if I get to design the album cover.Expand QuoteAnyone want to be on my next ep?
Its grind but people call it raw noise today.
Anyways if you want to write a haiku about skateboarding or whatever. I'll put your words or feelings in the song.
haiku seems to fit the best always[close]
Can I draw cardiel lance mountain style?Expand QuoteOnly if I get to design the album cover.Expand QuoteAnyone want to be on my next ep?
Its grind but people call it raw noise today.
Anyways if you want to write a haiku about skateboarding or whatever. I'll put your words or feelings in the song.
haiku seems to fit the best always[close][close]
the cover is Cardiel
Can I draw cardiel lance mountain style?Expand QuoteExpand QuoteOnly if I get to design the album cover.Expand QuoteAnyone want to be on my next ep?
Its grind but people call it raw noise today.
Anyways if you want to write a haiku about skateboarding or whatever. I'll put your words or feelings in the song.
haiku seems to fit the best always[close][close]
the cover is Cardiel[close]
sweet let me do a cover of Venus in furs and were all good.Expand QuoteCan I draw cardiel lance mountain style?Expand QuoteExpand QuoteOnly if I get to design the album cover.Expand QuoteAnyone want to be on my next ep?
Its grind but people call it raw noise today.
Anyways if you want to write a haiku about skateboarding or whatever. I'll put your words or feelings in the song.
haiku seems to fit the best always[close][close]
the cover is Cardiel[close][close]
yes you definitely can
Next Wednesday I'm going for my first counseling session since I was a kid. Things are okay right now, but I know that it's best to keep up with it when times are good so I'll be better prepared to deal with shit when they're not great. My friends sat me down a couple of months ago and said they thought it would be a good idea since I keep freaking out every couple of months.That’s sick. Just be honest about everything. They heard it all and won’t blink an eye. I was going after a breakup and was getting stalked and death threats and shit. Haven’t been for almost two years because it stopped. I actually have an appointment for tomorrow just to touch base. Nothing is bothering me but I think it’s kind of fun. I like to talk about mental health a lot and the way people think and self analyze so it’s fun to go and have someone else give you their opinion. I work in the field and deal with some of it myself so it’s not taboo to me at all. You have to be an uptight prick to get al weird about mental health.
Anyway, here's to taking steps towards better mental health.
You think I don't, foo?!Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.[close]
Just start drinking[close]
Expand QuoteYou think I don't, foo?!Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI'm currently looking for a depression/anxiety support group in my area and it's harder than I anticipated. Not only would it give me a new place to bitch, but I could possibly make new friends. Hopefully I find something.[close]
Just start drinking[close][close]
I try to take pictures of me in the lowest points whenever they come. It’s a way of qualitatively comparing your feelings. It makes the good times feel really good. It can help me relate the current session of depression to the last or others.
With that said, I’m in some low tide shit again. Weather isn’t helping. I’m breaking off a relationship that has been awesome tomorrow. My ex is getting fucked up again and calling me blacked out. My grandma has a heart condition that’s been processing.
Sometimes the shoulders get heavier than they seem.
Has anyone here ever had a good experience with hospitalization? It just seems it's bad juju to everyone all of the time.
u have to be 35
ill b 35 in april
I've hit a tipping point:
1. Having a bunch of dental work done is bumming me out.
2. I've been super stressed out trying to find a new job, particularly one that I'll be interested in.
3. Been sick a couple of times this year and I have an autoimmune disease. The Coronavirus outbreak has me really sketched out about traveling and now I'm really afraid of getting sick again.
4. Continuing on point 3, I am about to lose my health insurance in 2 months which has me really worried.
5. I'm just kinda spiraling into this spell of depression and it's getting hard for me to enjoy skating, or even seeing friends.
All of this is very overwhelming and I can't help but think things aren't going to go up. If anyone has any advice on these things, I would greatly appreciate it.
Didn't expect therapy to be that difficult. Went to 2 sessions and then bailed. The guy was kind of weird, I should go again with someone new, but it was more exhausting than I expected.
Expand QuoteDidn't expect therapy to be that difficult. Went to 2 sessions and then bailed. The guy was kind of weird, I should go again with someone new, but it was more exhausting than I expected.[close]
Agree on all counts. It is absolutely okay to "shop" for therapists. Once the two of you click, it will make a huge difference.
YES. Not all therapists are the same and some can be wrong for you and give you added anxiety. Keep looking til you find the right one. Best of luckExpand QuoteExpand QuoteDidn't expect therapy to be that difficult. Went to 2 sessions and then bailed. The guy was kind of weird, I should go again with someone new, but it was more exhausting than I expected.[close]
Agree on all counts. It is absolutely okay to "shop" for therapists. Once the two of you click, it will make a huge difference.[close]
Thanks, I agree. My housemate told me the same thing. I'll start going again sooner or later because I did learn a little about myself in those two sessions, but I didn't really like the dude, so...
I was gonna bump this thread today. Quarantine, unemployment, closed gyms, and fear of a killer virus are not great for my brain. I’m sure I’m not alone. Haven’t had a panic attack for a long time but I been close the last couple days. It’s dope how panic/anxiety give you shortness of breath and other symptoms to convince you you’re dying of various things. Is it Covid or a panic attack or both? Stay tuned.
Expand QuoteI was gonna bump this thread today. Quarantine, unemployment, closed gyms, and fear of a killer virus are not great for my brain. I’m sure I’m not alone. Haven’t had a panic attack for a long time but I been close the last couple days. It’s dope how panic/anxiety give you shortness of breath and other symptoms to convince you you’re dying of various things. Is it Covid or a panic attack or both? Stay tuned.[close]
Right there with you. Ive been in self quarantine for 30+ days and I've been having a lot more thoughts about killing myself lately. Not really sure what to do since I can't see my therapist and can't really get help as i'm immunocompromised. Just don't see the point when this is obviously going to affect the world so drastically for so long. My work just told me our teleworking is getting extended until at least june 30th. I don't think i can do three more months of being inside an apartment with no contact with the outside. There's just no point.
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteI was gonna bump this thread today. Quarantine, unemployment, closed gyms, and fear of a killer virus are not great for my brain. I’m sure I’m not alone. Haven’t had a panic attack for a long time but I been close the last couple days. It’s dope how panic/anxiety give you shortness of breath and other symptoms to convince you you’re dying of various things. Is it Covid or a panic attack or both? Stay tuned.[close]
Right there with you. Ive been in self quarantine for 30+ days and I've been having a lot more thoughts about killing myself lately. Not really sure what to do since I can't see my therapist and can't really get help as i'm immunocompromised. Just don't see the point when this is obviously going to affect the world so drastically for so long. My work just told me our teleworking is getting extended until at least june 30th. I don't think i can do three more months of being inside an apartment with no contact with the outside. There's just no point.[close]
Ask if you can talk them on FaceTime or zoom or the phone. I know the other side of this too because my sister and mother in law are therapists and they’re all trying to be available remotely. They’re worried about getting laid off and want work.
Yes there is a point. This shit will pass and 3 months ain’t that long. Read a book or get a prison workout going. I’m drunk so not in a position to give any pep talk but DM me anytime. I’ll have better advice sober.
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteI was gonna bump this thread today. Quarantine, unemployment, closed gyms, and fear of a killer virus are not great for my brain. I’m sure I’m not alone. Haven’t had a panic attack for a long time but I been close the last couple days. It’s dope how panic/anxiety give you shortness of breath and other symptoms to convince you you’re dying of various things. Is it Covid or a panic attack or both? Stay tuned.[close]
Right there with you. Ive been in self quarantine for 30+ days and I've been having a lot more thoughts about killing myself lately. Not really sure what to do since I can't see my therapist and can't really get help as i'm immunocompromised. Just don't see the point when this is obviously going to affect the world so drastically for so long. My work just told me our teleworking is getting extended until at least june 30th. I don't think i can do three more months of being inside an apartment with no contact with the outside. There's just no point.[close]
Ask if you can talk them on FaceTime or zoom or the phone. I know the other side of this too because my sister and mother in law are therapists and they’re all trying to be available remotely. They’re worried about getting laid off and want work.
Yes there is a point. This shit will pass and 3 months ain’t that long. Read a book or get a prison workout going. I’m drunk so not in a position to give any pep talk but DM me anytime. I’ll have better advice sober.[close]
Did you read the official report that they posted? They're expecting it to go on and off for 12-18 more months. I feel super anxious on video honestly. That shit freaks me out. I don't even post myself online. I appreciate the sentiment though.
Has anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.
Has anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.
Nice, haven't tried the earplugs before. I definitely may have to go buy some now.Expand QuoteHas anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.[close]
I put on an eyemask and earplugs when I go to bed. Even if I'm not drowsy, I usually fall asleep quickly under the sensory deprivation. I also sleep with a window open to get a good inflow of fresh air. Game-changing stuff.
Appreciate the link, it's one I haven't read yet and I have read a lot on the subject. I need to be work on being a bit more strict on actually following through on these suggestions.The joe rogan podcast with Matthew Walker (Neurologist/author who specializes on sleep) really helped draw more attention to sleep hygeine.Expand QuoteHas anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.[close]
MorningSesh my doctor had me look into sleep hygiene. Maybe give it a google and see if the suggestions are helpful? Hope you get some good rest.
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
Has anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.
also reading is a waste of time and bad for your brain you need to smoke a bunch of weed and jerk off moreDeeply closeted reader of Rodney Mullen's memoirs.
Self harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.
Self harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.
Armed forces use this methodChecks out.
My meds are twice the dosage since this strange time started. Anxiety was overwhelming me just shopping for groceries (not a full on panic attack but far too stressful to be safe) and hypochondria was too much to deal with even before so, yeah.
Please take care y'all. Times are definitely tough all over, but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone. The weight is not that heavy if we band together. Reach out to whoever you feel comfortable with to open up and be honest.
You're not helpless when we're here to help.
edit: here's a helpful hint
There are a lot of guided meditation videos available on youtube, but the ads can be very annoying to deal with.
I know y'all know how to rip video using video capture add-ons, but I use those same methods to grab audio only for my most used/favorite meditations onto my phone to listen ad-free in peace on my phone with bluetooth headphones.
Hope that helps some of y'all find peace of mind.
Expand QuoteSelf harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.[close]
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. if you need to talk you can feel free to reach out and pm me. I used to hurt myself quite a lot. Right now I'm trying to get off of some drugs and it's been very tough for me. I've basically been trying to pull it together and stop using for 7+ months. I feel like I'm almost able to but it's tough when I have to be around certain people and save face.
Life is a struggle.
My meds are twice the dosage since this strange time started. Anxiety was overwhelming me just shopping for groceries (not a full on panic attack but far too stressful to be safe) and hypochondria was too much to deal with even before so, yeah.
Please take care y'all. Times are definitely tough all over, but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone. The weight is not that heavy if we band together. Reach out to whoever you feel comfortable with to open up and be honest.
You're not helpless when we're here to help.
edit: here's a helpful hint
There are a lot of guided meditation videos available on youtube, but the ads can be very annoying to deal with.
I know y'all know how to rip video using video capture add-ons, but I use those same methods to grab audio only for my most used/favorite meditations onto my phone to listen ad-free in peace on my phone with bluetooth headphones.
Hope that helps some of y'all find peace of mind.
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteSelf harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.[close]
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. if you need to talk you can feel free to reach out and pm me. I used to hurt myself quite a lot. Right now I'm trying to get off of some drugs and it's been very tough for me. I've basically been trying to pull it together and stop using for 7+ months. I feel like I'm almost able to but it's tough when I have to be around certain people and save face.
Life is a struggle.[close]
thanks for the support, I'm feeling better.
Nice, haven't tried the earplugs before. I definitely may have to go buy some now.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteHas anyone here ever had any success with achieving solid sleeping habits ? This has been a struggle since high school and I've been trying to address that over the past few years.[close]
I put on an eyemask and earplugs when I go to bed. Even if I'm not drowsy, I usually fall asleep quickly under the sensory deprivation. I also sleep with a window open to get a good inflow of fresh air. Game-changing stuff.[close]
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteSelf harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.[close]
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. if you need to talk you can feel free to reach out and pm me. I used to hurt myself quite a lot. Right now I'm trying to get off of some drugs and it's been very tough for me. I've basically been trying to pull it together and stop using for 7+ months. I feel like I'm almost able to but it's tough when I have to be around certain people and save face.
Life is a struggle.[close]
thanks for the support, I'm feeling better.[close]
Depending on what state you live in there might be a free hotline to call or other services while waiting on getting set up with a virtual appointment with a regular doctor/therapist.
For example: https://omh.ny.gov/omhweb/covid-19-resources.html
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteSelf harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.[close]
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. if you need to talk you can feel free to reach out and pm me. I used to hurt myself quite a lot. Right now I'm trying to get off of some drugs and it's been very tough for me. I've basically been trying to pull it together and stop using for 7+ months. I feel like I'm almost able to but it's tough when I have to be around certain people and save face.
Life is a struggle.[close]
thanks for the support, I'm feeling better.[close]
Depending on what state you live in there might be a free hotline to call or other services while waiting on getting set up with a virtual appointment with a regular doctor/therapist.
For example: https://omh.ny.gov/omhweb/covid-19-resources.html[close]
Thanks very much for posting that. I personally don't live in the USA but that's a cool service to know about.
I called my doctor yesterday, he's going to recommend a list of counselors. He's prescribed me xanax just for in case I lose control again, but hopefully I won't have to use them.
Thank whatever higher power might be out there for rehab and family.
yeah dude real people couldn't care less about "problems" like that. shut the fuck up honestly its depressing to even glace at a post that 1 dimensional
Melatonin works well.
Pretty sure I'm bipolar. I go from energetic and motivated to angry and spiteful in a few seconds.
Expand Quoteyeah dude real people couldn't care less about "problems" like that. shut the fuck up honestly its depressing to even glace at a post that 1 dimensional[close]
Update: I feel much better knowing you're miserable. Thanks!
It's always fun to fluff up a mental illness so you can get pills.you are a sociopath. easy to see. get help psycho
(https://i.postimg.cc/MH3rwkYc/conspiracy.png)
Bullshit.
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteSelf harmed today for the first time in a long time. Things have been not super chill lately.[close]
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. if you need to talk you can feel free to reach out and pm me. I used to hurt myself quite a lot. Right now I'm trying to get off of some drugs and it's been very tough for me. I've basically been trying to pull it together and stop using for 7+ months. I feel like I'm almost able to but it's tough when I have to be around certain people and save face.
Life is a struggle.[close]
thanks for the support, I'm feeling better.[close]
Depending on what state you live in there might be a free hotline to call or other services while waiting on getting set up with a virtual appointment with a regular doctor/therapist.
For example: https://omh.ny.gov/omhweb/covid-19-resources.html[close]
Thanks very much for posting that. I personally don't live in the USA but that's a cool service to know about.
I called my doctor yesterday, he's going to recommend a list of counselors. He's prescribed me xanax just for in case I lose control again, but hopefully I won't have to use them.
If you guys sleep with earplugs in, how does your alarm wake you up?
We should euthanize the mentally ill.thanks for volunteering. have fun being dead
SUFFER is the word of a VICTIM.Expand QuoteExpand Quoteyea, i mean try telling that to someone with full schizophrenia, like, you chose to be this way bro.Expand QuoteI disagree. How we choose to act/not act on the way we feel is a choice we makeExpand QuoteThe way we feel is a choice we make.
It is the only thing in the world over which you, and you alone, have 100% jurisdiction.[close][close][close]
Outlook can help, but I get tired of the 'choose to be happy' shit. Like, not having a choice is what makes it mental illness. That's kinda the fucking point.
Like, my wife will say 'you don't have to check that' when I check locks, etc over and over. And I always tell her that I can choose not to, but that doesn't mean I don't suffer from the impulse.[close]
You WANT to be identified by OCD. It's pretty obvious. Gives you something to identify with and brings you attention whenever you make a big deal out of it. It makes a lot of people around you miserable. Stop being so selfish.
There's a saying that back in the days, people had less mental illness duo to working all day.
Why? Because they work all day, and therefore have no time to think. Letting your mind wander too much can be bad.
I strongly recommend, especially at these times, to get a hobby or something that occupies your mind. And at last, keep a consistent sleep schedule at all costs.
Expand QuoteThere's a saying that back in the days, people had less mental illness duo to working all day.
Why? Because they work all day, and therefore have no time to think. Letting your mind wander too much can be bad.
I strongly recommend, especially at these times, to get a hobby or something that occupies your mind. And at last, keep a consistent sleep schedule at all costs.[close]
That doesn't sound right. With all the stimulus available to us instantly now I think work is probably where your mind wanders the most for a lot of people. Nowadays it's easy to constantly have something to stop you from thinking. Music or podcasts in your ear, checking social media, any spare minute can be taken up
Xanax is for losers.
I like how the cat with a Crowley avatar claims to be bi-polar.
They used to call that schizophrenia. We live in disgusting times. Scientology is a lot more popular than people care to admit.
Anyway, Choronzon is a motherfucker. Not that any of you will get that. We should euthanize the mentally ill.
Cara just ignore them.I just want to give a major shout out to GKR, keep ya motha fucking head up and don’t let deez niggaz discourage you. U feel me dog?
How's everyone holding up? I'm eating and sleeping better and feeling better for it. Just gotta get back into a fitness routine and I'll be back on top :)
Cara just ignore them.
How's everyone holding up? I'm eating and sleeping better and feeling better for it. Just gotta get back into a fitness routine and I'll be back on top :)
Cara just ignore them.
How's everyone holding up? I'm eating and sleeping better and feeling better for it. Just gotta get back into a fitness routine and I'll be back on top :)
My mental health is fucking terrible like always.
fuck max b hope his dumbass got raped in jail
Expand QuoteMy mental health is fucking terrible like always.[close]Expand Quotefuck max b hope his dumbass got raped in jail[close]
Xanax or crack?
Expand QuoteMy mental health is fucking terrible like always.[close]Expand Quotefuck max b hope his dumbass got raped in jail[close]
Xanax or crack?
Hey guys. My therapist gave me links to this specialists youtube for anxiety, depression, insomnia, and psychoplasmics. This one is about insomnia which I know a lot of you suffer from. (She advertises a sleep mask until about 2:00). If you find this video helpful she's got several more that've certainly helped me. Thanks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkGWwyrCoRs
Xanax is for losers.
I like how the cat with a Crowley avatar claims to be bi-polar.
They used to call that schizophrenia. We live in disgusting times. Scientology is a lot more popular than people care to admit.
Anyway, Choronzon is a motherfucker. Not that any of you will get that. We should euthanize the mentally ill.
Expand QuoteHey guys. My therapist gave me links to this specialists youtube for anxiety, depression, insomnia, and psychoplasmics. This one is about insomnia which I know a lot of you suffer from. (She advertises a sleep mask until about 2:00). If you find this video helpful she's got several more that've certainly helped me. Thanks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkGWwyrCoRs[close]
Nice one, thanks. Gnar'd
Serious question, what kind of effect should I expect from going to a therapist?
I've been going to work through my divorce and my ex wife's super self destructive behaviors (that drove me insane). I don't necessarily feel much better/worse after each session.
And the ex was always in a terrible mood for days after seeing her therapist.
What is the ideal outcome of visiting a therapist? What is supposed to happen here? How do I know if my therapist is any good?
I can’t skateboard because of my injured foot and it hurts to the point where I can’t really stay standing up. I’m smoking a ton of weed and my tolerance is really high now. I’m at a bit of a loss. Never skateboarding again would kill me but I can’t even just do normal stuff.
nigga i reached out to my closest friends and family and none of them said shit, they try to flip it on you. Only reason I don't kill myself is to protect people I know from becoming weak like you all pilled up wishing about what they could have done. You probably only give a shit about mental health when it directly relates to you. A semi anonymous post a generic ass skateboard message board helps nobody.This is probably why you don't get help from people. You ask for it and then act like a total shit thinking people will just put up with it because of your problems.
reaching out isn't asking for help person it's letting people know how you actually feel. I let people know how I actually felt and they didn't have any advice for me cuz there is no advice to give to someone who wants to kill themself for the right reason.Reaching out is asking for help. You want someone to listen which would help you cope. If the people you surround yourself with can't help you go to a therapist or psych. It's not rocket surgery.
I’m heavily medicated. Zoloft, lorazepam, gabbapentin. I’m also on oxycodone for avascular necrosis and have a colostomy bag because I ruptured my intestines. I’m holding on to life for my mom and to see what happens. Such a short time to be here such a long time to be gone.
If I was a real piece of shit I'd say your brother died to get away from you.
I have been worrying a lot about crowds when the world returns to normal. It stems from a mass shooting in Germany when I was 16 on vacation. I wasn’t at the McDonald’s when I happened it I had been there about an hour before and it made me very scared of crowds. Over the years it has gotten better going out in crowds has helped a lot but now I feel back to square one and very nervous about heavily populated areas. I keep telling myself once life is back to normal I will eventually get over it again but rn it’s toughWow, I'm sorry you went through that. When the crowds die down you will get over it again. I would get paranoid around a lot of people after all the shootings on the news, and then I stopped worrying too much. Lately though I'm also having trouble going to the store. I sometimes skip meals because I don't want to go into the grocery store. But I'm coming around. Today I was glad to go and they had a bunch of food and stuff I like/need that I have had trouble getting for a while. I have been going to the store like once a week when I'm with my girlfriend but I went today by myself took care of business.
I get PMs from people telling me to kill myself. Usually the same person. They have an anime picture. I think there is something up with the anime people.Spill the beans on their name. What a sack of shit.
I can’t skateboard because of my injured foot and it hurts to the point where I can’t really stay standing up. I’m smoking a ton of weed and my tolerance is really high now. I’m at a bit of a loss. Never skateboarding again would kill me but I can’t even just do normal stuff.
Spill the beans on their name. What a sack of shit.Expand QuoteI get PMs from people telling me to kill myself. Usually the same person. They have an anime picture. I think there is something up with the anime people.[close]
Expand QuoteI thought he was Judo Origami, or Bata, or Mog. Maybe all three.Expand Quotecheetahsheets confirmedExpand QuoteI got mixed feelings on the shop I consider to be my local. They used to be closer but moved to the city. I don't go out of my way to buy from them cuz I feel they abandoned my area. They are still the sickest shop in Ontario though.[close][close][close]
and several others. the whole riddle thread is me except for spiral avatar guy
I'm openly racist.This is the one sending the "Kill yourself" messages.
You probaly hate me now due to me stand for what I believe in but yeah I probably am.Expand QuoteMelatonin works well.
Pretty sure I'm bipolar. I go from energetic and motivated to angry and spiteful in a few seconds.[close]
I myself am bipolar type 2. it sounds like you may be yourself. the way you describe it, sounds like me about 85% of the time. the medication helps manage it though. before that, people couldn’t be around me, couldn’t say I blamed them.lol
Poor people in Canada are priced out of therapy. My family has money but my mental health is of no value to anyone including myself so who's going to bother to pay money for my therapy or psych. I'm already connected with the mental health services in my province and to be honest they are relatively useless. Linking people youtube video's doesn't change the fact they've been priced out of having any hope of a normal life.'Therapy' to be actually therapeutic has to come from someone who gives a shit about you and money won't cover that. If there's no one like that in the vicinity, ( family, friends) you gotta look out for yourself -don't trust the state and give personal info and basic rights away. Then you're a perpetual child of the state. Those meds will shorten ur life span.
'Therapy' to be actually therapeutic has to come from someone who gives a shit about you and money won't cover that. If there's no one like that in the vicinity, ( family, friends) you gotta look out for yourself -don't trust the state and give personal info and basic rights away. Then you're a perpetual child of the state. Those meds will shorten ur life span.Expand QuotePoor people in Canada are priced out of therapy. My family has money but my mental health is of no value to anyone including myself so who's going to bother to pay money for my therapy or psych. I'm already connected with the mental health services in my province and to be honest they are relatively useless. Linking people youtube video's doesn't change the fact they've been priced out of having any hope of a normal life.[close]
I'm on some real baby first world problem shit but I can't figure it out
Managers come in yes sir no sir until they meet me in person. Then it's buddy constantly and they end up drawing back
I can handle the job and never say a word. Formal emails and phone calls are no issue. Beyond that I'm relegated to buddy talk. 3 managers this year come in and don't learn the details, not sure where I stand and I don't think it's worth getting certified and taking the next step within the company
Simple, satisfy work orders and guide lines but there's some real beta stuff going on beyond that
#banmog
You just know I don't like you. Just put me on ignore. Makes no difference to me I'm still gonna knee jerk respond to whoever's post. Except for saint coke and the like. Mog you are horribly terrible tho.Expand Quote'Therapy' to be actually therapeutic has to come from someone who gives a shit about you and money won't cover that. If there's no one like that in the vicinity, ( family, friends) you gotta look out for yourself -don't trust the state and give personal info and basic rights away. Then you're a perpetual child of the state. Those meds will shorten ur life span.Expand QuotePoor people in Canada are priced out of therapy. My family has money but my mental health is of no value to anyone including myself so who's going to bother to pay money for my therapy or psych. I'm already connected with the mental health services in my province and to be honest they are relatively useless. Linking people youtube video's doesn't change the fact they've been priced out of having any hope of a normal life.[close][close]
You're a person and bottom 5 poster on this site. Don't talk to me.
Mog you are horribly terrible tho.
Which is whats so potentially funny about Slap. Im sure good real life friends have unknowingly thrown shit at each other on slap.Expand QuoteMog you are horribly terrible tho.[close]
I'm quite friendly in person
Shitposting on unfunny theme accounts is highly therapeutic I suggest anyone with mental health issues try it out."Just horrible"
Mog I feel sorry for your mother. Why don't you get a horse and live in the mountains someplace and don't bother anybody.
Hey serious question for those who have had to deal gf's or partners with BPD and the therapy? I'm in a quandry of sorts recently my wife has been having a lot of bpd episodes I'm not exactly sure the term. Anyways I've been supportive and trying my hardest to help her out in many ways with anxiety and just being a support system whenever the occasion arises. I'm wondering what to do what are some of the techniques you all have had to quell those shitty voices in someones head?
I've read a few things about BPD and how it affects others and their sense of reality and what words can have a profound affect on others, like mega super sensitive holy shit this could really hurt this persons feelings.Expand QuoteHey serious question for those who have had to deal gf's or partners with BPD and the therapy? I'm in a quandry of sorts recently my wife has been having a lot of bpd episodes I'm not exactly sure the term. Anyways I've been supportive and trying my hardest to help her out in many ways with anxiety and just being a support system whenever the occasion arises. I'm wondering what to do what are some of the techniques you all have had to quell those shitty voices in someones head?[close]
Good on you for researching how best to help and support your partner! BPD can come in so many flavors and is in my experience super hard to understand, especially when overlayed with other mental/ohysical health issues. Something that helps my partner and I is to make a point of taking the time to research and learn about things together; watching YouTube videos of folks W bpd or other issues talking about their experiences (okay yeah even the cringe vloggy ones), getting and reading books, articles etc. It helps us understand a bit more about what's going on without focusing on the specifics of our situation which can trigger episodes, at least for me.
This doesn't help during an episode specifically but has been super beneficial for us, fwiw
Spill the beans on their name. What a sack of shit.Expand QuoteI get PMs from people telling me to kill myself. Usually the same person. They have an anime picture. I think there is something up with the anime people.[close]
I used to be super happy when I was doing drugs everyday and had a girlfriend but now I'm off drugs and my gf broke up with me a little over 2 years ago and ive been pretty much dead inside ever since.
Where I am failing to be sympathetic is that the other day I started to get frustrated with the amount of totally rinsed out dishes in the sink, dishes that could be put in the dishwasher as they were, and I asked her (sternly) if they could go in the sink. She then told me "I am starting to dissociate" and it really felt like a cop out.LOL
LOLExpand QuoteWhere I am failing to be sympathetic is that the other day I started to get frustrated with the amount of totally rinsed out dishes in the sink, dishes that could be put in the dishwasher as they were, and I asked her (sternly) if they could go in the sink. She then told me "I am starting to dissociate" and it really felt like a cop out.[close]
It probably felt like a cop out because it was a cop out. I don't know. I feel like saying "ditch the nutty broad" because it's a funny thing to say - maybe "run for ze hills" instead? - but I'm trying to practice self-censorship. It's only going to get worse as she learns more big words to throw around. You're at the beginning of a ten year story arc here and you should split while you have the chance.
Hey, just throwing this out there:
If any of you Slap posters are going through a tough time right now -- due to COVID-19 or otherwise -- I'm willing to listen to you and maybe help you see the light that is there at the end of the tunnel.
Skaters always look out for one another so don't feel like you have no one to hear you out.
Does anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.
Does anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.
Does anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.
Expand QuoteDoes anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.[close]
Haha Had this most my life this is Golden! Im an OCD/Neat Freak ...sort of like the TV show Monk, but not probably close to 70% of how he acts.
Honestly as long as other people aren't bothered by it, its okay. If you are bothered with it, here is some FYI
OCD is a anxiety disorder triggered by your desire to control the future cause and effects. EG. If I keep this in order than I will have full control of conscious if not than my unconsciousness is in control.
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteDoes anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.[close]
Haha Had this most my life this is Golden! Im an OCD/Neat Freak ...sort of like the TV show Monk, but not probably close to 70% of how he acts.
Honestly as long as other people aren't bothered by it, its okay. If you are bothered with it, here is some FYI
OCD is a anxiety disorder triggered by your desire to control the future cause and effects. EG. If I keep this in order than I will have full control of conscious if not than my unconsciousness is in control.[close]
Yeah, there's definitely something about OCD that's like superstition or religion. I know how irrational and stupid it is but sometimes the compulsions take over and bring me more stress. The rituals really get to me because I often think up new ones and then have to complete them the right way before I feel comfortable enough. In the past, the key to stopping has been to just resist doing any of the rituals and over time the OCD subsides till it's almost gone. I need to start doing that again.
For sure, I feel that OCD relates strongly to Tourette's syndrome too. It's all just how deep you're in it.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteDoes anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.[close]
Haha Had this most my life this is Golden! Im an OCD/Neat Freak ...sort of like the TV show Monk, but not probably close to 70% of how he acts.
Honestly as long as other people aren't bothered by it, its okay. If you are bothered with it, here is some FYI
OCD is a anxiety disorder triggered by your desire to control the future cause and effects. EG. If I keep this in order than I will have full control of conscious if not than my unconsciousness is in control.[close]
Yeah, there's definitely something about OCD that's like superstition or religion. I know how irrational and stupid it is but sometimes the compulsions take over and bring me more stress. The rituals really get to me because I often think up new ones and then have to complete them the right way before I feel comfortable enough. In the past, the key to stopping has been to just resist doing any of the rituals and over time the OCD subsides till it's almost gone. I need to start doing that again.
Anyone got their anxiety under control without medication?
History- years ago, went through an era of rough benzo abuse and a few other demons I had to battle. Went to rehab, got off the benzos and have been medication free for about 6 years.
Went through a pretty stressful last couple of months and am starting to feel the physical side effects of being constantly anxious. Didn't think much of my hypochondria or a couple other issues until recently.
If you've been able to tackle anxiety without the use of medication, how'd you do it/ what do you do?
Who all's ready for that seasonal affective disorder, baby? I've started taking Vitamin D and trying to get to sleep earlier. Strapping in.Have you tried online counseling before ? I can vouch for BetterHelp being pretty solid and may be a cheaper option.
Having housemate issues and feeling lonely. Don't like my job and sometimes dread going home. Messaged a few counseling centers, trying to get back into talking to someone.
How are you guys keeping?
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteDoes anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.[close]
Haha Had this most my life this is Golden! Im an OCD/Neat Freak ...sort of like the TV show Monk, but not probably close to 70% of how he acts.
Honestly as long as other people aren't bothered by it, its okay. If you are bothered with it, here is some FYI
OCD is a anxiety disorder triggered by your desire to control the future cause and effects. EG. If I keep this in order than I will have full control of conscious if not than my unconsciousness is in control.[close]
Yeah, there's definitely something about OCD that's like superstition or religion. I know how irrational and stupid it is but sometimes the compulsions take over and bring me more stress. The rituals really get to me because I often think up new ones and then have to complete them the right way before I feel comfortable enough. In the past, the key to stopping has been to just resist doing any of the rituals and over time the OCD subsides till it's almost gone. I need to start doing that again.[close]
I wouldnt try to control it, just understand it more in depth and make it so it doesn't make you feel bad....i mean shit its who you are....you'll slow down eventually...just wait. I would suggest picking up a bad habit, but instead of being anxious you could end up depressed. as long as your not hurting anyone or yourself dont trip, on the list of mental disorders its actually not that bad once you understand it
For sure, I feel that OCD relates strongly to Tourette's syndrome too. It's all just how deep you're in it.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteDoes anyone else have OCD? I don't mean arranging your books or shoes nicely, or being picky about your board setup, but the type where you do weird, nonsensical rituals. How do you deal with it? There have been times in my life where I've been able to completely get rid of it but it flares up from time to time and lately I have it really bad. It doesn't help that I keep reinforcing it.[close]
Haha Had this most my life this is Golden! Im an OCD/Neat Freak ...sort of like the TV show Monk, but not probably close to 70% of how he acts.
Honestly as long as other people aren't bothered by it, its okay. If you are bothered with it, here is some FYI
OCD is a anxiety disorder triggered by your desire to control the future cause and effects. EG. If I keep this in order than I will have full control of conscious if not than my unconsciousness is in control.[close]
Yeah, there's definitely something about OCD that's like superstition or religion. I know how irrational and stupid it is but sometimes the compulsions take over and bring me more stress. The rituals really get to me because I often think up new ones and then have to complete them the right way before I feel comfortable enough. In the past, the key to stopping has been to just resist doing any of the rituals and over time the OCD subsides till it's almost gone. I need to start doing that again.[close]
It's all a compulsive feeling that can be stronger than someone's will to hold it back, that's how rituals start.
Lot's of relearning and retraining is necessary most times to break the habits. Been trying my whole life.
There was a period of time as a kid where the only way I could swallow my food is by looking at a "special" spot on the wall in my childhood home. Don't know why that spot, but I definitely couldn't be looking at people and swallow food which made eating in public tough. Hundreds of other rituals have come and gone over the years. Time's of stress I really notice new things starting to form although I know they make no logical sense, then try to get over them before they cement themselves in.
Has anyone else had to suffer with someone who is facing gnarly mental health issues, only to get blamed for those issues?
I had someone who was close to me at one point, really struggle with her undiagnosed bipolar, depression, ADD, and dissociative disorder and after I told her doctor all the shit that she was experiencing (she struggled to do this herself) and suffered through that shit with her for years (I wasn't a saint, I sometime reacted negatively to her outbursts that I couldn't understand, which exacerbated her issues) she decided to make me the cause and representation of her depression/struggles.
It makes me super angry and bums me out that not only did I suffer with her through that shit, I now get blamed for it. And someone else who did zero work gets the credit of being the hero. He never begged her to take her meds, or begged her to tell the therapist what was really going on, he didn't see the consequences of her intense ups/downs, etc. I suffered through all that shit and it was only when I went to the doctor with her and I explained her struggles to the doctor that she finally got prescribed the meds she needed so badly for 17 years of her life. The doctor said, "Oh, you are battling bipolar. I had no idea." This was two years into an extremely trying situation and 17 years after the symptoms really started to show when she was a teenager (and her parents did absolutely nothing to help her).
It is fucking killing me that I suffered through it with her, but in her mind she is the only one who suffered and it is all my fault that she was struggling because I pushed her to confront the shit she was facing.
I was driving today and i imagined myseld driving off a brindge i was about to cross, and as i got closer my mind was somewhere else, i didnt even realize that i was actually flooring it and driving straight(theres a slight curve where it begins) until i hit the part where it starts, i got the fuck back into my lane and changed the radio station and drove back home.
Ive been thinking about going to therapy and have actually discussed it with a cousin that went to therapy but i just cant get myself to do it, anytime i think about it i just feel like i just dont want to talk about anything to anyone, much less talk about shit thats going around in my head that i cant even explain.
I havent skated that much lately also, im sure as fuck that its part of the problem too.
Thank you all, and im truly sorry if ive ever been a dick to any of you pals, and newbs, except the gipper.
Very nice image, seems like it might be a bit hard to translate clearly to a tattoo, but if you think it'd make you happy, go for it.
Expand QuoteVery nice image, seems like it might be a bit hard to translate clearly to a tattoo, but if you think it'd make you happy, go for it.[close]
Thanks.
I was thinking of double reflection in the lenses of a gas mask?
It's a long way off still.
I'm mostly interested in fixing old shit I got a drawing from a friend.
I really really wanna get a chest piece by February. Vulture not an eagle.
Ive been thinking about going to therapy and have actually discussed it with a cousin that went to therapy but i just cant get myself to do it, anytime i think about it i just feel like i just dont want to talk about anything to anyone, much less talk about shit thats going around in my head that i cant even explain.
Expand QuoteIve been thinking about going to therapy and have actually discussed it with a cousin that went to therapy but i just cant get myself to do it, anytime i think about it i just feel like i just dont want to talk about anything to anyone, much less talk about shit thats going around in my head that i cant even explain.[close]
Hey I struggle with the same stuff. I've never gone past five sessions with a psychologist. I start to feel exhausted talking about my own problems and health. If you can get past it though, a psychologist will really help you break down your mental habits and and try and get to the source of your issues.
It might feel selfish, stupid or trivial at times when talking about your own issues. But verbalizing it can feel incredibly powerful and liberating.
I don't really know where to start here pals.
My english isn't the best but I will try anyway.
I battled depressions and social anxieties for 15 years. After years of therapies and medications I am down to only one pill a day.
So in europe the days are getting shorter and all that fall stuff will be here soon.
This is a hard time for many people.
Three years ago I tried to end my life.
I have no right to and will not judge anyone of you.
We can all make it through that shit, even if it doesn't seem like that right now. There is always light after darkness.
Always.
If anyone wants to talk, hit me up. Write me a DM or here.
Much love from east Germany and keep ya head up pals.
<3
PMA
I don't know how to get past any of my sex issues for good besides killing my libido by getting neutered or some shit.
I just got kicked out of a CBT group. We met through microsoft teams and i missed too many meetings because of my work. I'm not sure how I felt about the group anyway. There was a lot of homework and I didn't form any relationships with other members. It never didn't feel weird.
Anyway, among other things a part of my depression has long been my involuntary celibacy. I've been able to put sex largely out of mind for a short while, but the urges came rearing it's ugly head again recently. I think it has to do with my general state of wellbeing. If I'm feeling too shitty, sex isn't a thing I think of as much. If I start to do a little better, sex enters my mind again and in turn I feel shitty again. I don't know how to get past any of my sex issues for good besides killing my libido by getting neutered or some shit. Seems like a godsend. I don't know. More than anything I just want to be close with a woman, intercourse or not.
I'm on that suicidal ideation train again. Not that I ever disembarked, but I took a seat instead of hovering around the exit. Metaphors are fun. I just get so dejected with life on top of this crippling loneliness. Why should I go to work again? Do I have to struggle for money forever? Will I always be a fat piece of shit? Is food the only pleasure in life? Will I ever stop being scared of everything? Will skateboarding ever be fun again? Why should I care if Trump wins again? Is fascism the future? Whatthefuckever! I continue down the path of least resistance. At least until I hit a wall. Ignore this post.
been battling a pretty severe depression for over 10 years and in the last few months 4 out of my 6 best friends have tried to threatened committing suicide. have been going off the rails with drinking lately and been so much of a crutch to my friends that are going through it worse that i dont really have time to think about the way that i feel. gets draining living in a skate house with a junkie and a drunk and i would move but i dont have a steady enough job/head or any money to get out. feel stuck a lot. cant afford to buy a guitar (writing music is my main source of therapy). no lock on the door to my room and my friends are constantly barging in to vent to me because im "the level headed one with the advice". they all know that im unstable and still put me through it. have never tried to kill myself because i couldnt do that to my mom/sister/friends- but have always thought that if i could hit a button and never have existed- i would without much thought.
been battling a pretty severe depression for over 10 years and in the last few months 4 out of my 6 best friends have tried to threatened committing suicide. have been going off the rails with drinking lately and been so much of a crutch to my friends that are going through it worse that i dont really have time to think about the way that i feel. gets draining living in a skate house with a junkie and a drunk and i would move but i dont have a steady enough job/head or any money to get out. feel stuck a lot. cant afford to buy a guitar (writing music is my main source of therapy). no lock on the door to my room and my friends are constantly barging in to vent to me because im "the level headed one with the advice". they all know that im unstable and still put me through it. have never tried to kill myself because i couldnt do that to my mom/sister/friends- but have always thought that if i could hit a button and never have existed- i would without much thought.
I just got kicked out of a CBT group. We met through microsoft teams and i missed too many meetings because of my work. I'm not sure how I felt about the group anyway. There was a lot of homework and I didn't form any relationships with other members. It never didn't feel weird.
Anyway, among other things a part of my depression has long been my involuntary celibacy. I've been able to put sex largely out of mind for a short while, but the urges came rearing it's ugly head again recently. I think it has to do with my general state of wellbeing. If I'm feeling too shitty, sex isn't a thing I think of as much. If I start to do a little better, sex enters my mind again and in turn I feel shitty again. I don't know how to get past any of my sex issues for good besides killing my libido by getting neutered or some shit. Seems like a godsend. I don't know. More than anything I just want to be close with a woman, intercourse or not.
I'm on that suicidal ideation train again. Not that I ever disembarked, but I took a seat instead of hovering around the exit. Metaphors are fun. I just get so dejected with life on top of this crippling loneliness. Why should I go to work again? Do I have to struggle for money forever? Will I always be a fat piece of shit? Is food the only pleasure in life? Will I ever stop being scared of everything? Will skateboarding ever be fun again? Why should I care if Trump wins again? Is fascism the future? Whatthefuckever! I continue down the path of least resistance. At least until I hit a wall. Ignore this post.
I just got kicked out of a CBT group. We met through microsoft teams and i missed too many meetings because of my work. I'm not sure how I felt about the group anyway. There was a lot of homework and I didn't form any relationships with other members. It never didn't feel weird.
Anyway, among other things a part of my depression has long been my involuntary celibacy. I've been able to put sex largely out of mind for a short while, but the urges came rearing it's ugly head again recently. I think it has to do with my general state of wellbeing. If I'm feeling too shitty, sex isn't a thing I think of as much. If I start to do a little better, sex enters my mind again and in turn I feel shitty again. I don't know how to get past any of my sex issues for good besides killing my libido by getting neutered or some shit. Seems like a godsend. I don't know. More than anything I just want to be close with a woman, intercourse or not.
I'm on that suicidal ideation train again. Not that I ever disembarked, but I took a seat instead of hovering around the exit. Metaphors are fun. I just get so dejected with life on top of this crippling loneliness. Why should I go to work again? Do I have to struggle for money forever? Will I always be a fat piece of shit? Is food the only pleasure in life? Will I ever stop being scared of everything? Will skateboarding ever be fun again? Why should I care if Trump wins again? Is fascism the future? Whatthefuckever! I continue down the path of least resistance. At least until I hit a wall. Ignore this post.
in everyones opinion are psychological assessment tests worth it? would be awesome to get some information on how helpful they are.
I hate everythingSame. I really fight that tendency but usually to no avail, I say it so much, it's a real bummer. And like that I hate that I said bummer and that I'm trying to engage anonymously on a skate forum. So mostly I just hate myself.
in everyones opinion are psychological assessment tests worth it? would be awesome to get some information on how helpful they are.
Same. I really fight that tendency but usually to no avail, I say it so much, it's a real bummer. And like that I hate that I said bummer and that I'm trying to engage anonymously on a skate forum. So mostly I just hate myself.Expand QuoteI hate everything[close]
Whatever, right?
You seem lika a doap dude, yer set ups an thriftiness are a joy to read. Keep yer head up, or dont, everything sucks.
After years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\
Expand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.
You got this homie.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.[close]
Thanks mate. Haven’t had the dreaded comedown from it yet, it’s been about a week so I’m hoping I’ve avoided it
You got this homie.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.[close]
Thanks mate. Haven’t had the dreaded comedown from it yet, it’s been about a week so I’m hoping I’ve avoided it[close]
Expand QuoteYou got this homie.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.[close]
Thanks mate. Haven’t had the dreaded comedown from it yet, it’s been about a week so I’m hoping I’ve avoided it[close][close]
Thanks mate :)
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteYou got this homie.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.[close]
Thanks mate. Haven’t had the dreaded comedown from it yet, it’s been about a week so I’m hoping I’ve avoided it[close][close]
Thanks mate :)[close]
Withdrawals can creep up on you. I did a slow taper over 2-3 months and am going through withdrawals now. My last dose was taken maybe three weeks ago. I thought maybe I had avoided it too but the past week has been rough. I'm doing this with next to support. Hope you have some irl people than can help see you through it.
I think that’s like that for everyone bro, being broke is fucked, those cunts that say shit like I don’t need money to be happy are not only broke they are delusional
I mean the money itself doesn’t make you happy but the freedom it brings sure as shit does
Man, this time last year was rough. I was switching from living totally in the woods and doing whatever I wanted for 5 years to going to graduate school for social work full time in a really intense program while also doing some really wild psychotherapy. From November to end of January, 2 more old homies od'd and died, little cousin OD 2x, 3 old friends tried to commit suicide and I was the person they told including one I had to go bust his door down, gramps died, I rescued my best/longest homie after he got robbed by Gs with ARs and left tied up in the woods and then he told me to fuck off because I was a shitty friend, was sick for 3 months with what I thought was pneumonia (which I think was Covid due to the symptoms and having flown in international airports at the early period), got an ear infection that ruined my ears with tinnitus, all while trying to be a therapist and go to school full time. Oh ya, the pandemic started and fires came within an hour of our house 3x. Shit got real, I started taking benzos to cope for a couple months, and totally lost it. I tried coming off cold turkey and ended up in full on psychosis, replete with auditory/visual hallucinations for a few days. I'm blessed to have people who love me and were able to help me stay above ground.
I've taken the past 9 months to level up and ground. Aside from a few trips and some ganja, this is the longest period of sobriety I've had (it's been years with no booze) over the past 17 years. I've gotten my head together, my heart together, and addressed all the grief and shame that came from all my dead and sick homies while I'm thriving on my own terms. I'm skating again, running, walking, and really just leveled out and up. Today I join a new cohort in school and start retaking the class I had to drop in the midst of losing my shit. It's going to be alright.
Stay safe, homies. <3
Horrible panic attacks. Nothing like feeling like you’re gonna die or pass out mid trickI'm sorry to hear that man, I sometimes struggle with panic attacks and they suck. I really recommend looking up some stuff like breathing exercises or other tricks to help you feel grounded. If nothing else, they give you something to focus on and you can start to feel more control. Try them throughout the day when you're not stressed or panicked so that you'll know what to do instinctively when panic starts. <3
Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteYou got this homie.Expand QuoteExpand QuoteExpand QuoteAfter years on meds for my anxiety & depression, I finally felt in a decent enough place to start coming off them. Then the government announces another month long lockdown... fuck. I’m gonna try and do it though. Only a month, should be fine right? :-\[close]
It could be good for a break, just for perspective, but maybe you should consult your doctor before you do, because transitioning on/off certain medications can be kind of tumultuous and it might not be the best idea to hop on/off in that amount of time.
In any case, I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. Check-in daily and see how you feel.[close]
Thanks mate. Haven’t had the dreaded comedown from it yet, it’s been about a week so I’m hoping I’ve avoided it[close][close]
Thanks mate :)[close]
Withdrawals can creep up on you. I did a slow taper over 2-3 months and am going through withdrawals now. My last dose was taken maybe three weeks ago. I thought maybe I had avoided it too but the past week has been rough. I'm doing this with next to support. Hope you have some irl people than can help see you through it.[close]
Is it like random electric shocks all over your body?
I cold turkey’d antidepressants maybe a decade ago and I remember going back to my therapist telling him and I remember the smug prick said yeah, you’ll be on them for the rest of your life
I never went back and copped maybe 18 months of the electric shocks but it went away eventually
Fuck him
But if I ever had to do it again I’d probably taper of
It kinda sucked at the time
with anxiety related to death.
I just had a kid 9 weeks ago and barely sleep
Anyone on here got prescribed Fluvoxamine?
Doctor said 300mg.
i drink water and turn my phone off for 2 hours everyday during the day to help with anxiety
Been down bad lately, bills piling up, hours cut at work, 0 interest in skating, my daily driver truck has been out on the fritz and forcing me to take my wife’s van, feeling like a massive burden and embarrassment. My meds are not working, and I keep having those chirping thoughts in the back of my mind that tell me to drive my truck into a wall, but they’re becoming more frequent. These last few weeks have been brutal.Dude I hear you, stuff keeps piling up. I had my car repossessed a few years ago and had to bum rides to work for a year, at the time I was 38 and having no car after never depending on anybody for that is a big hit to your ego. I also take Paxil and at the time it seemed like nothing helped and it wasn't working.. I just want to say it gets better man. I know I am just some dude on a stupid skateboard message board but hang in there. If you are this down it will go back up. You are not a burden, you are just grinding through life right now. It happens dude. I have struggled with thoughts of not being here my whole life but I can tell you as I have had many loved ones and friends take their life it is not worth it. People love you and care abt you, even when you are down. You are important, loved and its worth it to still be here, no matter how hard it gets, or how down you feel. Stay up brother and please reach out to your gf, friends and /or family or even me if you need it. Just talking about it helps sometimes
Hey.
I feel I need to start out with some kind of introduction on my first ever cherry poppin post.
But I’m not gonna.
The only reason I have the tits to post at all is because of the anonymity.I’m not even supposed to be here.
I fell down the slaphole while creeping on my husband...Hi Babe!
But I went to bed thinking about this board and woke up still thinking about it. The urge to comfort or help is too strong.
Freelancevagrant, please don’t park your truck in a wall. Please talk to someone. Please try something different with your meds.
For way to fucking long I carried the security blanket of knowing I could end the pain and suffering on my terms. I would pull that blanket out every damn night. It gave me some sense of control over my life.
While I was pregnant with our kid the needle started to move from comforting knowledge to looking like pulling the plug on me was the only path I had. But here was this thing growing inside me that needed me and that I was responsible for its existence so now it wasn’t just my choice to make. I talked to my doc and got some shitty therapy and some meds. Talking about it helped. It helped even though she was a basic bitch with no clue about the world except she needed to listen to the poor unwed mother for class credits. But even talking to her helped. And I found better therapists ( they are out there) Just speaking the thought out loud shone the light on what I thought was my truth. I had two stories in front of me: one was really short and the other one was something I could keep scribbling on.
Saying the bullshit in your head out loud shifts the power. chemical imbalances and synopses misfiring were no longer calling the shots. I took ownership as I spoke the words out loud. With the ownership I saw that those thoughts didn’t fit me. If you start to hear your thoughts you can tell if they ring true or are just noise.
The meds let me keep my head up and tread water. Just breathing and seeing things from a newly shifted perspective and taking it day by day saved my life enough to get a little bit stronger and a little bit clearer.
The first three things I did to make it through a day were:
* think of the things you would miss if you weren’t here and experience them whenever you get the chance. If you struggle to think of something go simple. Start with the senses and boil it down to the purest joy. What do you like to hear, see, taste, feel. Listen to that perfect song over and over, ride the board, feel the sun/rain/wind/ on your skin, eat something that tastes like heaven, have an orgasm.
Savor the little things.
* do something kind for someone or something. Your kindness will have results and ripples that you can’t fathom but you will know that your existence that day put some positivity into the cosmic soup and that is more than a lot of motherfuckers can say.
* speaking of the motherfuckers....Fuck Them! I thought my exit strategy gave me control but I didn’t benefit from that option. Neither would anyone I liked or cared for benefit from that option. I would just be giving up my seat at the table while shitbags continued running around shitting on things. We are here wether we asked for it or not but being these marvelous creatures of atoms and particles and chemical reactions get us a spot on the grid and I don’t want to let the assholes outnumber the real ones.
I’m cheering for you and all the others struggling to figure it out. Keep on keeping on.
P.S. one thing I wish I knew when my demons were loudest was:
The things that are hurting you most about yourself are probably your super powers, you just need to give yourself time to figure out how to use them.
Expand Quotei drink water and turn my phone off for 2 hours everyday during the day to help with anxiety[close]
This is pretty much what I do, plus smoke a joint.
Not being on social media is a big help also.
Expand QuoteExpand Quotei drink water and turn my phone off for 2 hours everyday during the day to help with anxiety[close]
This is pretty much what I do, plus smoke a joint.
Not being on social media is a big help also.[close]
To those of you who have focused social media, how do you stay off? I find my mental health and productivity improve vastly when I focus my Insta, but inevitably I end up finding a "reason" to get back on.
To those of you who have focused social media, how do you stay off? I find my mental health and productivity improve vastly when I focus my Insta, but inevitably I end up finding a "reason" to get back on.
i don’t think people with diagnosed mental illness should have social media. it will only make things worse. it’s almost designed to.
hey homies, i dont know if this is the right place for this, so kook me as you wish, but i just wanted to rant and get these thoughts out on somewhere nobody in my personal life can check up on me from.hey man i know it feels like the end but please just remember to see it through. especially if you are young, these feelings are more than likely just temporary, but i can definitely understand how hard it feels and its okay to cope in your own way.
im not looking for pity or sympathy, just the comfort that my words are out in the ether in some way.
i think im damn near giving up. been socially exiled by all my friends, hate my the program im in for university, my rent is being doubled and i cant work more hours due to my school availability, about to lose the scholarship i have for college that keeps me financially afloat because i couldnt do service hours with quarantine, lost the band i poured my heart and soul into over fake accusations, and really have nobody to go to.
just kinda feel like my time on earth is done, ive ran my course, made some good memories, had ups n downs, all the classic shit. just dont really see anything in the future worth living for anymore.
but, i guess i wanted to write this to give a big shoutout to slap. i know theres tons of negativity on here blah blah blah whatever, but there are some real great motherfuckers on here. in the short time i've been here, it has been one of the few ways i experience conversation anymore, as ive lost a great deal of my friends. i had my friends and family to support me in years prior, but not really anymore, so im pretty apathetic towards the idea of life.
hope all the other homies in this thread struggling can find some sort of relief, you all deserve it. much respect and much love. from my experience, therapy is fuckin dope, meds are meh but do work for some people, and nicotine fucking blows, so dont cope with that. hope you all can find the peace you rightfully deserve.
in conclusion, dont know why i typed this. this could just be another depressive episode where i wake up the next morning and keep trudging on, or maybe this is it, as im content with the idea of death at this point cause i know im not leaving much behind anymore. i dont know, but what i do know is i love slap. this shit is dope. much love homies.
Depression's got a hold of me
Expand QuoteDepression's got a hold of me[close]
Depression? Gotta break free.
So my end is near I believe.
The is the basic facts.
My kidneys hurt I got this crazy full body rash I piss funny I've had a lump in my stomach for years and now it's become two side by side.
I've been getting examinations on the stomach lumps for years. They said they felt nothing at first.
I got angry stopped going till the pain become unbearable. I've have echos back when I was on methadone. They said it was shit (stool) or "again I feel nothing"
Then one day I had a very low level tech say yeah I feel that. I went back to the Dr. "I don't feel anything John are you ok?."
Now it's become two. It's like a peanut. My friends my ex boyfriend my mother my brother all can feel it but the Dr can not. Once he said it's probably fatty tissue? I'm like whatever. You just said you can't find it.
This is all I have to say. I'm done talking about it rn....
Been diagnosed with major depression since around 13, coincidentally that was about the time I started skating. Like a lot of us, skating used to be either my escape or reason to leave the house and explore and interact with the world. After a rough string of injuries it's just not the same right now and skating has become a source of anxiety and confusion and disappointment. I know I gotta take it easy and push around the streets and have a few solid sessions to get over it but just looking at my board has been playing with my head.
just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall
just using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall
its very reassuring to hear your first few weeks after you quit drinking were tough as well. i dont think i was taking into consideration how much i was drinking, which is probably very common for other skaters in their early 20s lol. thank you for the kind words, i needed it todayI'm sorry to hear about what you're suffering through, but I am glad you got some sunlight today. That's progress and you should be damn proud of that. Don't feel like you need to rush things either; when you're ready, your skateboard will be too.Expand Quotejust using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall[close]
I quit drinking about six years ago, and I clearly remember those first few weeks being the most difficult. Spanky said it really well when he described that period of his recovery as "building up genuine armor, after spending years behind artificial armor." Again, just keep stacking days, and then you'll be stacking weeks, months, and years.
Also, the mental and physical health benefits are great, but so is the extra spending money you get by not drinking. Suddenly you're not having to skate razor tailed boards, or shoes that tear up your socks when you skate. You're on a great path, you just gotta stay on it.
Expand Quotejust using this to vent i guess. recently had a mental relapse of depersonalization/derealization disorder after overcoming it a year or so ago. its the worst its ever been. i havent left my house in 20 days, i wake up every morning panicking and feeling like im in a dream, constant irrational intrusive thoughts. its so fucking draining. i miss skating so much. i managed to stand in my backyard this morning for maybe 30 seconds and get some sunlight, which i havent done in a long time. im a month sober from alcohol and nicotine today, starting to wonder if quitting both cold turkey is making the anxiety worse. i've beat this before and i know i will again but knowing that doesnt make anything less severe right now. if any of yall have had similar experiences please reach out. much love yall[close]
Stay strong, brother.
Try vaping some 10:1 CBD. It might help. Helps me sleep and calms me down.
.Did you by chance watch the comic posted above narrated by Rattray?
I don't talk about it much, but I feel like skateboarding has really saved my life.
Others I know have said that is definitely the case for them - having a skateboard and being able to get out and do their own thing, when everything else around them was going down hill fast, or just an outlet or a thing that had no teams, no acceptance requirements, no rules, regardless of what some people might say - this has been the lifesaver for so many people, so I just take it as it comes, enjoy it while I can and don't try to over think anything.
Any which way, it is not like a pet, or partner, or needy family member - you get whatever you want out of it, as often or as little as needed, or when you want to as well, so there are so many things that just make it a positive thing, even with the associated issues, like injury, cost of product or any other factors.
Did you by chance watch the comic posted above narrated by Rattray?Expand Quote.
I don't talk about it much, but I feel like skateboarding has really saved my life.
Others I know have said that is definitely the case for them - having a skateboard and being able to get out and do their own thing, when everything else around them was going down hill fast, or just an outlet or a thing that had no teams, no acceptance requirements, no rules, regardless of what some people might say - this has been the lifesaver for so many people, so I just take it as it comes, enjoy it while I can and don't try to over think anything.
Any which way, it is not like a pet, or partner, or needy family member - you get whatever you want out of it, as often or as little as needed, or when you want to as well, so there are so many things that just make it a positive thing, even with the associated issues, like injury, cost of product or any other factors.[close]
I’m with you on skating really helping out through some heavy mental shit… and it’s like we had no idea.
It’s not a bad way to cope with things… as long as there’s some real healing, too.