SOBRIETY

[Ankle_Lift]

today is day 5 no alcohol. well day 6 actually

Keep going. You can do it. Keep busy, buy a case of Bubbly to drink instead. Cracking the can and holding the can has that familiar feeling but it's not booze.


Ralf_ - 1.5 years keep going!

i had plently of energy to work and wasn't tired when i got home and had a great night with the family.

That's the best part about not drinking to be honest. Your family is lucky to have you.

I had a hard one on Friday. A buddy and his band were playing at a little venue. cool place, beers "by donation" kind of place.
It was the kind of place you just casually stand around and drink some beer and listen to the band. I was ok with not having a beer in hand, it's all good, but those types of things I used to really enjoy having some beers and just hanging out, listening to music, get a little buzz going on. The venue is out of the way, like outside of the city, so a lot of people had to drive back to the booze wasn't flowing freely kind of thing.

Between bands I was outside with my friend and his girlfriend and they were smoking weed and some random dude is like, "who wants to shotgun some beer?!" And he had a bunch of beers. In the past I would've been like "fuck ya let's do this" and crush those beers with buddy.
When I refused, and my friend and his girl refused, they had to drive home, dude got like, indignant, and upset? Like oh come on drink these. It was really off putting.

This guy and his buddy were total wastoids though, like falling all over and shit, and I kept thinking to myself, "damn did I used to be like that? I did, I think I was like that"
 
Oh well.

[Easy Slider]

@Sleazy  impressive feat, I wouldn't even have bothered going there tbh.

@shouldn't  hang in there man, I guess your body needs time to readjust after years of intoxication. Try and get a regular schedule. I always was one to stay up late, getting drunk and/or high and sleeping late but since I am sober this has shifted and now I am the opposite, going to sleep really early. This allows me to just sleep until I wake up naturally and still be early enough for work. Anyway, hopefully you'll figure out what suits you best.

@Ankle_Lift I had a similar experience lately. It's been quite a while I've been to a concert but since the Circle Jerks were in town I figured it would probably be the last occasion to see them live. I went with a friend who really likes to drink but after almost five years sober I am now at a point where I can have a guy getting drunk next to me without even thinking about having one myself. I am not saying this to brag but to encourage y'all to persevere, the itch is definitely going to get less and less the longer you stay away from the sauce.

[hmmoookay]

@Ankle_Lift I feel you. I had a similar situation last Thursday; went out with my sister and her boyfriend to bingo night at a local brewery. They're both incredibly supportive but being around a lot of folks just kinda casually boozing, watching them get another drink and another, and another....it was weird. It's the first time I've been out to a bar in a very, very long time. Don't get me wrong, had a great time playing bingo. This place also makes their own kombucha, rootbeer, and fizzy lemonade (all on tap) so they're doing their part as far as NA options goes. But, it was a trip being in that kind of environment again for sure.

On a separate note, I'm happy to share that after leaving both my teaching positions at the end of last semester, and what seems like a long time of sending out applications only to get rejections in return, I landed a job (not teaching) at a university in my new city. Got the call on Friday, and the director of my department seemed really excited to offer me the job. In my in person interviews last week, I was asked what my biggest accomplishment of the last 5 years was. I said my sobriety, because it's true. I explained a bit on what I meant about that (not just being sober, but how my sobriety kind of guides how I go about life in multiple aspects) but the only reason I say that is to emphasize not being afraid to put your sobriety out there. Is it what got me the job? I really don't know. But it was the honest answer and one I felt I sounded confident in, and I'm sure they took those things into consideration.

I celebrated with some great local pizza and some sparkling waters. And, just now, my phone notified me that I am 27months sober today. A lot going on, haha.

Much love y'all and congrats to all the recent successes in here. Y'all should be very proud of yourselves!

[NoComply180]

It’s so jarring when someone applies pressure to drink for me now. Everyone I socialize with is at youngest late 20s and mostly 30-50s so it comes off as both immature and pretty sad now that I’m on the other side. I went to a small gathering at a friends’ place Saturday and I showed up a bit late, people were sloppy as hell, throwing up, passing out, commenting about how shitty Sunday was going to be. Sipped a few NA beers, went home, played computer games and woke up early Sunday feeling great.

It’s getting easier every day, July will be 6 months.

Props to everyone for the shares in here, this thread really lifts me up.

[dstrytruitt]

So stoked for everyone in here! Community is what keeps me sober so having this thread is always helpful to read. I also go to (mostly Zoom) meetings and over the weekend the topic at a meeting was living in the moment. Before I got sober, I would constantly be looking for the next thing; the next drink, the next task to take care of, the next girl, the next whatever...never really satisfied or content with my current situation or happy with what was happening right then and there. I've missed out on a lot of happiness and really cool shit that I now slow down and enjoy and for that I'm extremely grateful to my homegroups and the Slap sobriety gang. Keep taking of yourselves and each other!

[Sleazy]

@shouldn't  thanks for sharing. few things i experienced:

- i always feel like shit for 2-3 days after stopping drinking, even if just for a day. then on the 4th ish day i will feel great but then crash around 2ish. this is why moderation didn't work for me. keep pushing and you shouldn't get that day 4 crash anymore.
- i was going to share that AVE video, so good
- you might try the caffeine delay, if you wait 1-2 hours before having you first cup you will feel like you are flying all day, i've been loving it.
- the dreams is because when you drink do don't go in the stage of sleep where you dream.
- to fall to sleep my version of counting sheep is i focus really hard on skate tricks, how i'd position my foot ect... until i fall asleep and if my mind races to some stress crazy shit i go back to slappy crook grind and start thinking about skating

@hmmoookay way to go man!

@IUTSM thanks man, i feel lucky to have them

@Easy Slider thanks man, having the na beers is really more than enough for me and i kind of feel a certain sense of quite pride when i'm not drinking, sort of like being the only skateboarder at the park with a bunch of bladders sessioning 

[Monolithic Flick]

Yeah, everyone, thank you all for your stories.  They are inspiring.  I had a 12 day streak then went on vacation and busted it. Now on an 8 day streak.  Really want this one to last longer.  I am eating sugar like a fat person though.  Like I'm wondering if I might be pushing myself to diabetes.  This thread is something I go to for reinforcement so again thanks all.

[NoComply180]

Yeah, everyone, thank you all for your stories.  They are inspiring.  I had a 12 day streak then went on vacation and busted it. Now on an 8 day streak.  Really want this one to last longer.  I am eating sugar like a fat person though.  Like I'm wondering if I might be pushing myself to diabetes.  This thread is something I go to for reinforcement so again thanks all.

I had huge sugar cravings the first few weeks. I still eat more sugar now than when I was drinking. I go through 3 or so pints of ice cream a week - still 25 lbs lighter than I was January 1

[Abyss1]

Yeah, everyone, thank you all for your stories.  They are inspiring.  I had a 12 day streak then went on vacation and busted it. Now on an 8 day streak.  Really want this one to last longer.  I am eating sugar like a fat person though.  Like I'm wondering if I might be pushing myself to diabetes.  This thread is something I go to for reinforcement so again thanks all.

whats your reason for stopping in the first place, for me those reminders even it was just to get a better nights sleep is whats keeping me from drinking.    Also on the sugar tip, dont know if you have a good dental plan but that shit will catch up to you in that area...cavities and gum disease.  Dont know much about diabetes but I always thought you develop is in your younger years from too much processed sugar.

[Gnar_Gnar]

It's easy to sub one addiction to another.  If food helps you cope for now, fuck it I say.  Better than hitting the bottle or substances and burning bridges or further damaging ones life.  I would think some sugar is a nice reward for a day sober in early recovery, but that's just me. 

Finally had some stuff come to a head with a buddy.  I got accused of drunk shaming for not tolerating drunken asshole behavior, while he's enabling it.  Had to cut a buddy out of my life and kinda been grieving that loss this week.  He was sober but not in recovery.  White knuckling and dry drunking are a tough road.  Feeling proud that I developed the confidence to say no to people who aren't good for me.  Before I would have stuck around.

Been dealing with a ton of rejection in the industry and with women too.  Seems like tough times for creators.  Keeping strong with hobbies, good friends, my family, and taking care of myself.  It's been nice to develop the tools to cope with this kinda thing, and accept that some days, or weeks, are harder than others and it's okay to feel bad about it.  Working hard to appreciate the little things, and be grateful for the gift and clarity of sobriety.

[Sleazy]

nice one @Gnar_Gnar

one thing i've been doing for dealing with stress is i've taught myself to ignore stress or pretty close and made a deal that if i'm starting to feel stressed, i'm going to schedule some time to do some planning and pause the stress till then. usually i'll have a day where i'm feeling a little stressed to be honest, i force my self not to focus on it as much as i can and i then spend time planning around whatever the issue is. i usually feel better after having a plan even if that plan requires me to go through some shitty things or take on a bunch of risk. obviously some problems are bigger than taking 30 mins to plan to fix... if one of my kids gets cancer gonna need a new tool for stress but for most things it's been helpful for me.

[Gnar_Gnar]

Got a call yesterday that an older close family friend is terminal with cirrhosis and pancreatic cancer.  Couple days to live.  Pretty crushed.  He had started calling me drunk late at night, sounding pretty rough.  Told him I would go to AA with him if he wanted help and putting him onto the steps.

I guess he ended up going and got sober for a couple months but the damage was already done.  Same story as my mom…  feeling pretty terrible.  He had started isolating on social media and a couple months went by from when I last heard from him.  Can’t help but feel like I should have called more but god damn.  It’s a gruesome reminder that some peoples bottom is the point of no return, or even death.

Fuck drinking.

[Abyss1]

Got a call yesterday that an older close family friend is terminal with cirrhosis and pancreatic cancer.  Couple days to live.  Pretty crushed.  He had started calling me drunk late at night, sounding pretty rough.  Told him I would go to AA with him if he wanted help and putting him onto the steps.

I guess he ended up going and got sober for a couple months but the damage was already done.  Same story as my mom…  feeling pretty terrible.  He had started isolating on social media and a couple months went by from when I last heard from him.  Can’t help but feel like I should have called more but god damn.  It’s a gruesome reminder that some peoples bottom is the point of no return, or even death.

Fuck drinking.

sorry to hear that

My homie who got me into skating got the same diagnosis...he never told me because we weren't really talking (over some petty shit).  He also stopped skating around the time he started drinking because of his girlfriend being a drunk...I found out when a homie who used to skate called me out the blue to sell me some weed and I asked about our mutual homie, and he told me he past with that diagnosis a year or two prior...I think that was the first time I quit drinking for almost 3yrs until the 08 crash and I lost my job

[Mr. Kamikazi]

My stepfather's niece just passed terminal with cirrhosis & her & I actually went to high school with each other. 33 years old & that's a a wrap. I currently have a pal that I am sending a gift to with a letter expressing my concern with his drinking as he regulalry has the shakes & is drinking 24/7. Then an acquaintance just passed from a drug overdose which is gutting as he was the bass player for Eternal Champion & in some beyond forgettable bands while I was growing up. He was 36.

No urge for me to touch anything as this Sunday is two years of no alcohol. Just a tad glum when I think about these people. Fortunately I have a ton of activities & things that keep me going, one of which is my wife & son, along with a new kitten we welcomed.

Just know that alcohol & drugs will never fix a thing. They become "Total Need" which is "pure evil". I stand by this.

[EdLawndale]

Sorry to hear about your friends and loved ones, all.

I was just tonight speaking with a friend of mine who was lucky enough to have a liver transplant. She's still drinking but she makes her own choices, I suppose.

While not having to piece together the night before any longer is nice, trying to safeguard my health has been my main drive in achieving sobriety.

I've been dealing with some clothes moths lately, and read they are attracted to beer. It felt incredibly empowering pouring the leftover beers I've kept under my sink for over a year into Mason jars (to create traps), and not feeling any desire to take even a small swig. Small victories, I guess.

Keep fighting the good fight, pals.

[Monolithic Flick]

@Gnar_Gnar sorry to read about all that.  You've been kind to many here, hope some good news comes your way soon.  Hang in there.

@Mr. Kamikazi -- whoa!  I liked "Ravening Iron" a lot back when it came out. I don't really follow band news so I had no idea.  Sorry man.  Also sorry to read about that and your other losses. On the other hand good to read about your two years. This coming from someone on day 11.   

[Coastal Fever]

Challenging weekend here for sure… went to a pub for my partner’s work thing Friday night and was the only non drinker.  Only stayed till 10pm or so, but the last hour watching people refill their wine glasses was a slog. 

Then yesterday evening we met up with a couple of her old friends at a beer garden, and they didn’t have a single n-a option besides sparkling water.  That kinda pissed me off tbh.  But again, made it through.

It’s not even that I’m fighting the urge to drink anymore.. I don’t want to, and know I’ll wake up thankful I didn’t.. it’s just the awkward and excluded feeling that’s hard to deal with. 

Went on an amazing bike ride though which helped put things back in perspective.  Having the will and energy to do that is the delayed reward of a booze free evening.

[EdLawndale]

Good job, Coastal Fever. One third of those ppl will stop drinking soon themselves and another third will have major problems. Think of yourself as ahead of the game.

[Burt Ward]

Nearly five years sober here and have no problems hanging in pubs with drunk idiots until stumps (watch a lot of bands), but I do like a zero beer in my hand at all times. Bougie bar in Melbourne AUS tried to charge me SIXTEEN AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS for a 375 ml can of non-alcoholic beer recently. I laughed and did not buy, obviously. Obscene shit. They're often up to nine dollars, which is enough of a rip already. I've actually been known to sneak my own in, which is obviously, quite ridiculous, but old habits die hard. Pints of heavy in the same place were $14. Mental.

Anyhoo, rant over. Well done everyone for trying to stay/staying sober. All the initial bullshit is well worth it once you turn a corner and enjoy life without booze.

[NoComply180]

Just found out another friend has been secretly sober for about the same time I have. This is the second or third time this has happened in the just under 6 months it’s been for me. I’m in my early 30s, kinda makes sense that this would be the age some people confront their drinking, shit stops being “partying” at a certain age.

[Sleazy]

Nearly five years sober here and have no problems hanging in pubs with drunk idiots until stumps (watch a lot of bands), but I do like a zero beer in my hand at all times. Bougie bar in Melbourne AUS tried to charge me SIXTEEN AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS for a 375 ml can of non-alcoholic beer recently. I laughed and did not buy, obviously. Obscene shit. They're often up to nine dollars, which is enough of a rip already. I've actually been known to sneak my own in, which is obviously, quite ridiculous, but old habits die hard. Pints of heavy in the same place were $14. Mental.

Anyhoo, rant over. Well done everyone for trying to stay/staying sober. All the initial bullshit is well worth it once you turn a corner and enjoy life without booze.

my family lives in perth and my brother is always bitching about the $20 pints. wild

[Gnar_Gnar]

Driving back from a session yesterday and my buddy decides to crack a road beer while driving back from a full day of skating (and them drinking a couple) and driving 2 hours away.  Got pretty peeved and basically demanded to drive the car home.  Super bummed today on that, but stoked that I had the confidence and soundness of mind to take care of myself.  We passed a pretty brutal car wreck on the way home too...  Pretty disappointed I even ended up in that situation.

[Democratic Republic Of Mongo]

I quit alcohol, but I’m looking to quit weed for good, hoping it will make me less lazy.

[Sleazy]

I quit alcohol, but I’m looking to quit weed for good, hoping it will make me less lazy.

nice on the alcohol, hope your feeling great.

definitely going to be less lazy if you quit. i quit weed probably 10 years back and started a company that's provided my family a great lifestyle. something i would never have done when i was smoking because when i wasn't working i was faded and getting my business going involved a lot of networking after hours. i was also having really bad paranoia and even mild schizophrenia (maybe just extreme mind racing) and people say it's not addictive but it was a bitch for me to quit.

i'm closing in on one year and only drink coffee now. i do the 1-2 hour delay and i feel pretty amazing all day. definitely way better feeling that being faded or drunk. hasn't gotten old or boring. just hyped all day. skate sessions are almost always good. it's been fantastic.

[Monolithic Flick]

Reached the 20 day marker of no alcohol today.  Feeling good about it.  Since it has been mentioned I am not giving up cannabis.  Although I do pretty long stretches without it I am not currently in one of those stretches.  I also personally don’t find it detrimental to my work or family life as I am a lightweight moderate user not a daily partaker.  I do understand that it can be problematic for many though. 

My focus is on no alcohol right now. And even just 20 days has made a large impact for me.

[Democratic Republic Of Mongo]

Expand Quote

I quit alcohol, but I’m looking to quit weed for good, hoping it will make me less lazy.

[close]

nice on the alcohol, hope your feeling great.

definitely going to be less lazy if you quit. i quit weed probably 10 years back and started a company that's provided my family a great lifestyle. something i would never have done when i was smoking because when i wasn't working i was faded and getting my business going involved a lot of networking after hours. i was also having really bad paranoia and even mild schizophrenia (maybe just extreme mind racing) and people say it's not addictive but it was a bitch for me to quit.

i'm closing in on one year and only drink coffee now. i do the 1-2 hour delay and i feel pretty amazing all day. definitely way better feeling that being faded or drunk. hasn't gotten old or boring. just hyped all day. skate sessions are almost always good. it's been fantastic.

Feeling way better, thanks. Alcohol was the crisis, but weed (dispensary vape cartridges, to be specific) are the lingering thing that’s kind of bogging me down. I’m making this cart the last one.

[radcunt]

I’ve not had a drink in a month and haven’t missed it once. Went out a few times and it was fine just having lemon, lime and bitters and just spent 2 nights working in a dance club which I thought would be a real test but was super easy. Not even tempted. I was only going to stop for a month but might keep it going. I’ve lost 5kg too.

[ceo of skateboarding]

[Ankle_Lift]

i have a harder time with coffee

Coffee is impossible to give up.

My brother got married this past weekend, and both families went out camping and they got married beside a river. It was nice, but afterwards there was a literal canoe filled with drinks to drink.

The temptation was so real (out camping, no biggie, right?) but I just chilled and drank some NA Budweiser. It was fine. New sober me is way better.

[hawk tuah]

I’m not opposed to it but I also don’t do it