SOBRIETY

[Sleazy]

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Whaddup. Trying to ease into quitting drinking via dry January. Tried a few times before and never made it past 5-6 weeks. But as I’m getting older and drinking more, and more often, the impacts from it are getting more and more clear and undeniable. I’m outwardly a highly functioning individual but I think if I keep drinking there’s no other outcome but it eventually ruining my life.

Honestly what’s most daunting is how I’ll deal with having to do things I don’t feel like doing…for years now I’ve just gotten drunk for those.

[close]

Start easy…just don’t do things you’d need to get drunk to do. Example: you have to get drunk to hang out with a certain crowd…stay away. I used to enjoy getting hammered and washing my truck. I would take it through the wash once I stopped drinking, but now I am back to enjoying it with some good music playing. Took some time though.
Also, I can’t enjoy bowling sober, so no more of that.

[close]

appreciate the advice, thank you.

I have some events I’ll have to attend (weddings, family stuff) that I’d need to drink at to enjoy. I think I’ll just have to be ok setting hard boundaries with myself and others. If I’m done and ready to go home, I’ll just go.

desire is most of it so you are off to a great start and props on giving it a go. i just broke 6 months and i feel i've completely lost the desire to drink. no expert and total rookie compared to others in here but few things i can share from my experience.

- i like the i am sober app just to have something keeping count of my days. i don't use it for anything else now but in the begining the check ins where you reflect on how things went the last week was helpful.
- na beers have made it way easier for me, especially the social stuff. i brought a yeti backpack with some na's in it to the last wedding i went to and kept it off to the side.
- for social events, as soon as people start getting drunk it gets boring. i don't force it. chat and bounce when it gets boring until you've had enough and head out.
- for me the things i liked changed. i thought i really liked going to nice restaurants for a meal, turns out it was really the drinks. i like quick casual places with insta food porn type food now.
- weight loss didn't happen till way later than i expected. i loss probably 15+ lbs without doing any work but it took over 2 months before it started happening.

[Allen.]

Celebrated 2 years just before Christmas. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s worth it. I promise.

When it comes to gatherings or anything like that… for me, the first time was the most difficult. I got offered a beer at my girlfriend’s family’s Christmas shindig like 2-3 days after I poured everything out and told myself I was done and I kinda didn’t know what to say, despite building it up in my mind the whole time. I finally just said “nah, thanks, I’m not drinking right now.” And I fully thought everything was going to be awkward or weird or different but it’s not. And now I get to revel in hearing about how miserable everyone is the next morning and how I do not miss hangovers in the slightest.

[Sleazy]

for anyone who likes data. i wear a garmin which tracks my sleep. below is average sleep score per week over last year. first month was drinking normal, then a dry almost 40, then moderating and only drinking weekends and then when i quit. you can see from the numbers there's a huge difference but the actual difference in sleep as been unbelievable. what the data doesn't really show is that now i pretty much never have a bad night sleep were before it was all peaks and valleys: not bad night, horrible night, good night, horrible night, horrible night. the other interesting thing for me was that moderating was harder than quitting. i still slept like shit during the week, i was still always thinking about drinking, i didn't loose any weight. it was way easier just to let it all go.

[NoComply180]

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Whaddup. Trying to ease into quitting drinking via dry January. Tried a few times before and never made it past 5-6 weeks. But as I’m getting older and drinking more, and more often, the impacts from it are getting more and more clear and undeniable. I’m outwardly a highly functioning individual but I think if I keep drinking there’s no other outcome but it eventually ruining my life.

Honestly what’s most daunting is how I’ll deal with having to do things I don’t feel like doing…for years now I’ve just gotten drunk for those.

[close]

Start easy…just don’t do things you’d need to get drunk to do. Example: you have to get drunk to hang out with a certain crowd…stay away. I used to enjoy getting hammered and washing my truck. I would take it through the wash once I stopped drinking, but now I am back to enjoying it with some good music playing. Took some time though.
Also, I can’t enjoy bowling sober, so no more of that.

[close]

appreciate the advice, thank you.

I have some events I’ll have to attend (weddings, family stuff) that I’d need to drink at to enjoy. I think I’ll just have to be ok setting hard boundaries with myself and others. If I’m done and ready to go home, I’ll just go.

[close]

desire is most of it so you are off to a great start and props on giving it a go. i just broke 6 months and i feel i've completely lost the desire to drink. no expert and total rookie compared to others in here but few things i can share from my experience.

- i like the i am sober app just to have something keeping count of my days. i don't use it for anything else now but in the begining the check ins where you reflect on how things went the last week was helpful.
- na beers have made it way easier for me, especially the social stuff. i brought a yeti backpack with some na's in it to the last wedding i went to and kept it off to the side.
- for social events, as soon as people start getting drunk it gets boring. i don't force it. chat and bounce when it gets boring until you've had enough and head out.
- for me the things i liked changed. i thought i really liked going to nice restaurants for a meal, turns out it was really the drinks. i like quick casual places with insta food porn type food now.
- weight loss didn't happen till way later than i expected. i loss probably 15+ lbs without doing any work but it took over 2 months before it started happening.

I appreciate this. I think the social events will be the hard part. I’ll just need to give myself leeway to leave things or say no to protect myself regardless of how it makes other people feel.

Definitely curious what will change over the next weeks/hopefully months+. When I’ve had sober stints before I notice serious decreases in anxiety/malaise pretty quickly once I’m done with any withdrawals.

I have a good friend trying this with me now. He keeps asking me what I think will “replace” or “fill the gap” for what booze provides…I’ve accepted that I don’t think anything will similarly let me immediately, without effort on my part, temporarily expel unwanted feelings the way booze does (short of other unhealthy substances). And I’ll just have to live with that and finding other ways to cope.

[hmmoookay]

You eventually fill those "would've been drinking" times with other things. sometimes they're more productive like working out, skating, or doing more in your respective job/career. other times it's sometimes as simple as getting more sleep (depending on the day a good nap can completely turn me around), enjoying a meal (not even a nice meal, just enjoying food in general), stuff like that. listen to yourself and your body, ittl know what feels right and what it needs next. also, don't beat yourself up if you do find yourself kind of, for lack of a better term, living aimlessly for a little bit. depending on how often you were drinking you may need some time to just 'exist'. I did. But everyone is different.

The unwanted feelings things is something I personally just had to learn to live with. They come, you acknowledge the bad feelings, and you let them pass. Scenarios vary of course, but that stuff does become easier to just let happen without trying to intervene with a substance.

Wishing you all well on your journeys even if it is just for dry january! 

[Allen.]

Also, I dont have any data to back this up outside of anecdotes re: sleeping better, but I can tell you you dont realize how often you feel like you’re at about 70-80% battery after drinking. Even if you aren’t hungover per se, it’s way, way easier to wake up without hitting snooze.

[Yonnycage]

Went on the absolute dumbest 3 day long New Year’s bender and have been paying for it since wednesday. Drank a shit ton of russian standard, coquito and killed like a liter of Jose Cuervo and that was after pregaming with 8% beers. The feeling of impending doom, the sweating, nonstop projectile vomiting all the water I’m trying to chug down, NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP because my mind is just fucking racing constantly is nothing compared to how terrible I feel for my girl who’s been laying next to me this whole time trying to get her work done while trying to force the smallest bit of food down my throat. I’ve had bad hangovers before but this shit is straight up withdrawals. I’m turning 30 this year and decided this morning that my days of cosplaying a hardened eastern european laborer are done (even though I am Polish and work in HVAC lol) Reading this thread fills me with hope for the future, thanks pals.

[Velcro Wallet]

I start my week of detox then 3 months of full time rehab the day after tomorrow. I’m kinda shook. It’s kinda like boot camp. I’ve done detox many times (4 times in the last 6 months? It’s hard to remember) but never rehab.
My memory is cooked. I’m worried about the wet brain stuff or just damage I’ve done already.

I’m so looking forward to not have a splitting headache and super painful sore stomach everyday.  I have to make sure I have at least half a bottle of vodka/brandy as soon as I wake up. It’s the only way I can down me one piece of Vegemite toast and even think about looking at my phone. Ha

In the rehab pamphlet it’s seems to be not to phone friendly (another thing I’m fine giving up) but I do need SLAP for some stoke.

Anyway, peace out. I hope the beginning of 2024 goes according to the plans you all have made.

One

Remember… if you are older and want to feel younger get a Velcro Wallet. The sound!! Hahaha xo

[Easy Slider]

Go for it bro. The sober Slap pals have got your back.

[hmmoookay]

I start my week of detox then 3 months of full time rehab the day after tomorrow. I’m kinda shook. It’s kinda like boot camp. I’ve done detox many times (4 times in the last 6 months? It’s hard to remember) but never rehab.
My memory is cooked. I’m worried about the wet brain stuff or just damage I’ve done already.

I’m so looking forward to not have a splitting headache and super painful sore stomach everyday.  I have to make sure I have at least half a bottle of vodka/brandy as soon as I wake up. It’s the only way I can down me one piece of Vegemite toast and even think about looking at my phone. Ha

In the rehab pamphlet it’s seems to be not to phone friendly (another thing I’m fine giving up) but I do need SLAP for some stoke.

Anyway, peace out. I hope the beginning of 2024 goes according to the plans you all have made.

One

Remember… if you are older and want to feel younger get a Velcro Wallet. The sound!! Hahaha xo

you got this man, rooting for you!

[Sleazy]

my current challenges 7-9pm. i get so bored during this time. at 9 ish my wife and i watch tv then i go to bed after but after dinner at 7 till 9 is pretty boring for me at this point. i don't feel right watching so much tv but that's what i've been doing. i'm going to start playing around with trying to exercise at that time but i'm usually pretty over it and just ate. guess i need a new hobby.

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Whaddup. Trying to ease into quitting drinking via dry January. Tried a few times before and never made it past 5-6 weeks. But as I’m getting older and drinking more, and more often, the impacts from it are getting more and more clear and undeniable. I’m outwardly a highly functioning individual but I think if I keep drinking there’s no other outcome but it eventually ruining my life.

Honestly what’s most daunting is how I’ll deal with having to do things I don’t feel like doing…for years now I’ve just gotten drunk for those.

[close]

Start easy…just don’t do things you’d need to get drunk to do. Example: you have to get drunk to hang out with a certain crowd…stay away. I used to enjoy getting hammered and washing my truck. I would take it through the wash once I stopped drinking, but now I am back to enjoying it with some good music playing. Took some time though.
Also, I can’t enjoy bowling sober, so no more of that.

[close]

appreciate the advice, thank you.

I have some events I’ll have to attend (weddings, family stuff) that I’d need to drink at to enjoy. I think I’ll just have to be ok setting hard boundaries with myself and others. If I’m done and ready to go home, I’ll just go.

[close]

desire is most of it so you are off to a great start and props on giving it a go. i just broke 6 months and i feel i've completely lost the desire to drink. no expert and total rookie compared to others in here but few things i can share from my experience.

- i like the i am sober app just to have something keeping count of my days. i don't use it for anything else now but in the begining the check ins where you reflect on how things went the last week was helpful.
- na beers have made it way easier for me, especially the social stuff. i brought a yeti backpack with some na's in it to the last wedding i went to and kept it off to the side.
- for social events, as soon as people start getting drunk it gets boring. i don't force it. chat and bounce when it gets boring until you've had enough and head out.
- for me the things i liked changed. i thought i really liked going to nice restaurants for a meal, turns out it was really the drinks. i like quick casual places with insta food porn type food now.
- weight loss didn't happen till way later than i expected. i loss probably 15+ lbs without doing any work but it took over 2 months before it started happening.

[close]

I appreciate this. I think the social events will be the hard part. I’ll just need to give myself leeway to leave things or say no to protect myself regardless of how it makes other people feel.

Definitely curious what will change over the next weeks/hopefully months+. When I’ve had sober stints before I notice serious decreases in anxiety/malaise pretty quickly once I’m done with any withdrawals.

I have a good friend trying this with me now. He keeps asking me what I think will “replace” or “fill the gap” for what booze provides…I’ve accepted that I don’t think anything will similarly let me immediately, without effort on my part, temporarily expel unwanted feelings the way booze does (short of other unhealthy substances). And I’ll just have to live with that and finding other ways to cope.

there is nothing that makes stress go away the way having a drink does. that kind of stress you feel in your chest for some real shit like money problems, relationship problems, etc. during my first dry 30 we had to put our 7 year old dog down from cancer and i lost my biggest client which was close to half of my companies revenue and it turned out that overall that stuff was easier to deal with without numbing the stress with alcohol. i find that alcohol is more of a snooze button for stress.

for me i leaned into exercise and mental discipline. i found if there was a lot of stress that even just taking a long hike with my dogs would help but for heavy stress doing some cardio and zoning out on TV was helpful to get it off my chest. i have an exercise bike in front of a TV at my place so just put on some rick and morty or something funny and distracting and start peddling. for mental discipline what i did is force myself not to think about stressful things unless i'm actively planning how to fix them. it works pretty well and i usually force myself to think about skate tricks i want to try instead. it's also slightly dangerous form of procrastination that i'm sure i could get burned by at some point if i take it too far. i have some financial planning that is long over due at the moment and i need to do this weekend. these are my hacks YMMV.

[EdLawndale]

Yeah, a lil over 7 months no-alcohol here. Everything Sleazy and FUBAR said is spot on. I would have never have thought I could attend a wedding without drinking but I did it in September. Made it through with a bunch of Coke (soda). Desire to drink is almost completely gone. I still go to the bar regularly and all my friends (customers and staff) know I just drink na beers now -- nobody pressures me. I'm actually a bit more productive now. I don't think there was anything I relied on being drunk to do, save the whole social anxiety thing...but I realized: fuck that noise, I'm running the ship here, I'm not awkward, everybody else can be, so I'm not altering my mindset just to try to fit in. Good luck to you, NoComply180.

Went on the absolute dumbest 3 day long New Year’s bender and have been paying for it since wednesday. Drank a shit ton of russian standard, coquito and killed like a liter of Jose Cuervo and that was after pregaming with 8% beers. The feeling of impending doom, the sweating, nonstop projectile vomiting all the water I’m trying to chug down, NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP because my mind is just fucking racing constantly is nothing compared to how terrible I feel for my girl who’s been laying next to me this whole time trying to get her work done while trying to force the smallest bit of food down my throat. I’ve had bad hangovers before but this shit is straight up withdrawals. I’m turning 30 this year and decided this morning that my days of cosplaying a hardened eastern european laborer are done (even though I am Polish and work in HVAC lol) Reading this thread fills me with hope for the future, thanks pals.

How many Polish ppl does it take to stop drinking alcohol?


One.

You got this, buddy. I deffo do not miss the days of vomiting up freshly-drank water the morning after getting hammered.

[NoComply180]

VelcroWallet, yonnycage im rooting for y’all.

Weekend without booze has actually been super easy so far. Wrapped up work a little early yesterday, hit the gym, played some call of duty and watched a movie with the lady after getting dinner with an old friend. Felt fucking great to wake up and not be 1. Disoriented because I’m still hammered, slowly becoming aware that will transition to hungover if I don’t hair of the dog it or 2. Already hungover and dealing with feelings of doom and depersonalization.

Very lazy day today and took a nice walk in the rain.

Seeing some friends tomorrow who I don’t need booze to enjoy being around.

[Sleazy]

i think i'm going to try and reach out some of my neighbors who are members of the same tennis club as me and get some more value out of this membership i haven't been using and kills some 7-9 boredom.

VelcroWallet, yonnycage im rooting for y’all.

Weekend without booze has actually been super easy so far. Wrapped up work a little early yesterday, hit the gym, played some call of duty and watched a movie with the lady after getting dinner with an old friend. Felt fucking great to wake up and not be 1. Disoriented because I’m still hammered, slowly becoming aware that will transition to hungover if I don’t hair of the dog it or 2. Already hungover and dealing with feelings of doom and depersonalization.

Very lazy day today and took a nice walk in the rain.

Seeing some friends tomorrow who I don’t need booze to enjoy being around.

hell yeah man! getting that inner 12 year old back.

[NoComply180]

A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

[FUBAR]

A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

Right on man! Sleep may be a struggle for now but the sleep you are getting while sober is much better than drunk sleep. And fuck hangovers!
Keep it up, I don’t want to sound corny but it will get better and easier. Someone will tell you that you look better, because you will. Outside and inside.
Keep going!

[NoComply180]

^thanks man! Yeah I know sleep will improve with time. And it sure beats being hungover or getting crappy drunk sleep.

Been splurging a bit on eating out the last few days but excited to save some more money in the long term.

[LUGR]

A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

I hit 2 years October 2023 and struggled with sleep issues for awhile since I was used to going to sleep drunk every night. I used that non habit forming Zzzzquil (generic version) stuff to get through the first couple of months and then cut it totally out. Maybe not for everyone, but it worked for me. Good luck with it all and enjoy feeling good.

[Sleazy]

Nice nocomply! I was drinking a lot of sleepy time type hot t before bed at first and it helped. They have some ones that really make you tired but don’t effect sleep. I stopped drinking them without really noticing. Ne factor was not wanting to get up and pee in middle of night.

[hmmoookay]

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A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

[close]

I hit 2 years October 2023 and struggled with sleep issues for awhile since I was used to going to sleep drunk every night. I used that non habit forming Zzzzquil (generic version) stuff to get through the first couple of months and then cut it totally out. Maybe not for everyone, but it worked for me. Good luck with it all and enjoy feeling good.

Same but I eventually had to cut it out because it fucked up my stomach. These days I just kinda wait til I actually get tired before I get into bed. I used to try to force an earlier sleep time but it just doesn't work for me. Congrats on 2 years! Coming up on that milestone in a couple months myself.

[LUGR]

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A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

[close]

I hit 2 years October 2023 and struggled with sleep issues for awhile since I was used to going to sleep drunk every night. I used that non habit forming Zzzzquil (generic version) stuff to get through the first couple of months and then cut it totally out. Maybe not for everyone, but it worked for me. Good luck with it all and enjoy feeling good.

[close]

Same but I eventually had to cut it out because it fucked up my stomach. These days I just kinda wait til I actually get tired before I get into bed. I used to try to force an earlier sleep time but it just doesn't work for me. Congrats on 2 years! Coming up on that milestone in a couple months myself.

Thanks!

Yeah, I wasn’t really into it but it did help with sleep and gave me some mental gratification of getting “medicated”. Which kind of helped ease me psychologically out of the habitual substance abuse cycle I was in. These days, like @sleazy said above, I drink sleepy time tea every night and regular tea in the morning. I really just enjoy my evening tea, don’t think I need it to sleep or anything anymore.

[hmmoookay]

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A Week without booze today, struggling with sleeping through the night but aside from that everything is better. Mood, focus, work, energy, consistency, etc. My resting heart rate is 10-20bpm lower on average too which is an interesting benefit.

[close]

I hit 2 years October 2023 and struggled with sleep issues for awhile since I was used to going to sleep drunk every night. I used that non habit forming Zzzzquil (generic version) stuff to get through the first couple of months and then cut it totally out. Maybe not for everyone, but it worked for me. Good luck with it all and enjoy feeling good.

[close]

Same but I eventually had to cut it out because it fucked up my stomach. These days I just kinda wait til I actually get tired before I get into bed. I used to try to force an earlier sleep time but it just doesn't work for me. Congrats on 2 years! Coming up on that milestone in a couple months myself.

[close]

Thanks!

Yeah, I wasn’t really into it but it did help with sleep and gave me some mental gratification of getting “medicated”. Which kind of helped ease me psychologically out of the habitual substance abuse cycle I was in. These days, like @sleazy said above, I drink sleepy time tea every night and regular tea in the morning. I really just enjoy my evening tea, don’t think I need it to sleep or anything anymore.

This is gonna sound funny, but the rest of the day I thought about sleepytime tea after reading your reply and decided to grab some when I went to the store tonight. Looking forward to that in a couple hours, thanks man! Maybe it will help me a little more than I think, not a bad idea to have a little evening wind down ritual which is something I've tried and failed at many times.

[Coastal Fever]

This and a 5-10mg melatonin results in a quick and restful sleep for me most nights.  Doesn’t leave me feeling extra groggy or anything in the morning either.

[hmmoookay]

This and a 5-10mg melatonin results in a quick and restful sleep for me most nights.  Doesn’t leave me feeling extra groggy or anything in the morning either.

https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/871c4b88-5131-4478-bbaf-23094ec186d0.3e730c08073049d201c1d10a48169b15.jpeg

Might try that one out too. I got this;



The tea itself was very pleasant as I'm kind of on a weird cinnamon kick right now and I do think it eased me into sleepland. I usually don't do well with melatonin but I figured the 1g would be fine.

I will say I used to drink a lot of Traditional Medicinals tea back in like, 2017-18 and it never did me wrong. Maybe I'll order some sort of variety pack.

[Abyss1]

What worked for fixing me going to bed early was to wake up early around 4 or 5am.  I usually sit around with some coffee or meditate, and if I feel up to it will get a workout going.   By 8am Im working and by the time 7-8pm rolls around I start to feel pretty worn out.

For the Pals that have gym memberships with a dry and wet sauna, i'd recommend this at least 1-2x a week.  Been super helpful with my anxiety

[Sleazy]

@Abyss1 i like that tip a lot. you get up at 4-5 you going to not have problems going to sleep. my current goal is 5:30. i also find that i really love mornings, probably my favorite part of the day. walk at sunrise always feels so good.

[Monolithic Flick]

32 days no alcohol today.  As a moderate drinker I have still been pretty amazed at the positive effects.  Better sleep, vivid dreams, more energy, lasting longer skating, e.t.c.  Haven’t really lost weight but I was not overweight to begin with.  There are other things only my wife notices but apparently I am “more of a man” as well.


I started this mainly to support my brother and I have done Dry January before.  But now I am in a new longest streak of my adult life without a beer or two.    My brother has re-started twice but is on day 14 so I’m happy for him.  Anyway hang in there all of you.  Sobriety feels like a super power and  think I am going to stick with it.

[NoComply180]

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks for me. Really no complaints. Grateful for how it’s been so far. I’ve had a few brief hankerings for things like going to a nice cocktail bar and trying a bunch of new drinks, or sitting at a dive bar doing beer/shot combos and bonding with random fellow boozehounds, but I mostly miss the ritual and the novelty of trying new things and places - I’m sure I’ll eventually find plenty of new things that will give me that sans booze. The thought of being even mildly hungover now is super off putting.

Also found some low dose 1:5 thc:cbd gummies that have hit the spot for me when I want a little alteration without losing a grip on things. Pure giggles and munchies but I can still hold a conversation. Reminds me of what weed was for me when I was 18 and carefree.

Also grateful that my best friend who is also an alcoholic and doing dry January with me is doing well so far too.

[Sleazy]

@Monolithic Flick nice man! i heard someone say quitting drinking is a cheat code for life and that really resonated with me.

@nocomply way to go man!

i had a dinner at a steak house that only had odouls. i drink 4 and felt tired the next day. pretty funny how far i've come. i'm guessing if i drink a burbon home pour at this point it'd destroy me for days.

[NoComply180]

^nice man, I’m looking forward to trying more of the NA beers out there. Seems like there’s new ones every day