SOBRIETY

[igrindtwinkies]

I gotta say, if, before you stopped drinking, (i) you had a Cheers-type situation where you regularly went into the same watering hole where everyone knows your name and (ii) the bartenders actually like you, and (iii) the establishment is reasonably progressive offering n.a. drinks, then I've found that batenders who aren't total pieces of shit and actually respect life, are pretty relieved to have some customers where they aren't supporting their deaths by serving endless alcoholic drinks, like they are stoked to continue having you as a customer.  I think a lot of bartenders are bummed to be serving alcohol because they see what it does to ppl. We had a couple long-term customers who died from liver cancer and I have to imagine that a bartender could feel at least somewhat responsible for their part in it, even though the customer makes his own decisions at the end of the day (and it is legal). Like dealers who sell ppl fent go to fucking jail.

I've always wondered about this.  I live in a smaller community where it's pretty hard for the bartenders to not know that they're serving someone who's essentially homeless.  It's a huge gray area and probably a bit uncomfortable to confront a regular as well.  It's obviously a bummer too, when someone close to you dies and people chose to celebrate the dude's vices.

I've been off the booze for a little over 3 years now.  I don't really think about it.  Sometimes I think about dumb phases I've gone through, like the 3 years where I listened almost exclusively to stoner metal.  It reminds me of that, except this phase lasted from 14-29.  I still go to parties and gatherings on occaision and it looks a lot less glamorous when you aren't participating.

[rawr1922]

133 days without booze. Career high. Hit a 100 days couple times in the past. Today, sat at the bar for the first time. Craved a bar burger. Felt comfortable drinking water & chatting with the old timers.

Couple weeks ago, went to a show sober for the first time. Definitely need to get used to it. Didn’t have the urge to drink, just felt really awkward the whole time. My whole life, always had a beer in my hand while watching a band. Planned to get a club soda with lime. Never ordered that before then just got in my head too much so didn’t even approach the bar. Very strange experience. So double awkward that I didn’t have anything in my hands while the band played lol. Just very bizarre, the bars used to be my playground. For the first time ever, felt really out of place . The band I wanted to see was the opener & left abruptly after their set . Just gotta practice being chill & not think so much next time. What’s your go to non alcoholic drink at the bar?

[Sleazy]

133 days without booze. Career high. Hit a 100 days couple times in the past. Today, sat at the bar for the first time. Craved a bar burger. Felt comfortable drinking water & chatting with the old timers.

Couple weeks ago, went to a show sober for the first time. Definitely need to get used to it. Didn’t have the urge to drink, just felt really awkward the whole time. My whole life, always had a beer in my hand while watching a band. Planned to get a club soda with lime. Never ordered that before then just got in my head too much so didn’t even approach the bar. Very strange experience. So double awkward that I didn’t have anything in my hands while the band played lol. Just very bizarre, the bars used to be my playground. For the first time ever, felt really out of place . The band I wanted to see was the opener & left abruptly after their set . Just gotta practice being chill & not think so much next time. What’s your go to non alcoholic drink at the bar?

nice one rawr

everyone is different but i try to time myself as close to the band start as possible and grab either an NA or soda water and i've just started accepting that somethings that used to be fun are boring now. so if i'm at a happy hour or go to see a band and it gets boring, i just accept it and tap out.

for me tv time was the real boring thing. i used to always fade out drinking beers and burbons watching tv and first 6 months or so i just felt so damn bored. now i'm assuming i feel the same but now it feels relaxing.

[EdLawndale]

Congrats, rawr. It's definitely a weird feeling not drinking at an event, but it definitely gets less weird the more you do it. Plus, you get the added advantage of not having to worry, at all, about how you get home and what sort of trouble you can get in along the way.

Again, congratulations for making it this far.

[rawr1922]

Thank You Gents :salute:

Grateful to have people to share such a 180 in life. Fam & friends supportive however they don’t understand. If you know, you know. Thank you, looking forward to seizing the day

[Yibb-Tstll]

Thanks a lot to all for the inspiration on this thread. Already stopped for 9 months couple years ago and after thinking about it again for quite a while, I gave it another try while also trying to install other healthier habits, especially better sleep. Already feeling the benefits after a whole month. More energy, less mood swing and not feeling paranoid or guilty of wasting time while hangover.

I go to lots of gigs, at least once or twice a week on busy months and I can feel you on the weirdness of being empty handed especially if you're just by yourself.

It doesn't really affect me during hardcore/punk gigs because I'm in the pit and don't want my beverage spilled over at the first seconds of a song. But on mellower concerts, I usually go for Club Mate/ginger beer. And I don't feel like spending too much on just sparkling water, I also like to take pictures with my compact camera (without getting in the way of those around me)

[ralf_]

i was at a gig recently, drank a quick cold cola right before the main band. it was a bit boring, i felt like an observatory, but that's ok. after the gig an old friend and bandmate of mine told me that this has been the first time he ever saw the band and then remembered after because usually he was black out drunk when he saw them.

oh and i chewed the fuck out a gum during the gig, haha.

[Burt Ward]

133 days without booze. Career high. Hit a 100 days couple times in the past. Today, sat at the bar for the first time. Craved a bar burger. Felt comfortable drinking water & chatting with the old timers.

Couple weeks ago, went to a show sober for the first time. Definitely need to get used to it. Didn’t have the urge to drink, just felt really awkward the whole time. My whole life, always had a beer in my hand while watching a band. Planned to get a club soda with lime. Never ordered that before then just got in my head too much so didn’t even approach the bar. Very strange experience. So double awkward that I didn’t have anything in my hands while the band played lol. Just very bizarre, the bars used to be my playground. For the first time ever, felt really out of place . The band I wanted to see was the opener & left abruptly after their set . Just gotta practice being chill & not think so much next time. What’s your go to non alcoholic drink at the bar?

Congrats on the milestone. I go see bands in bars around once a week, and usually have no problems with awkwardness, but occasionally it still hits me, especially if I start singing along or gesticulating wildly. Seeing bands play without a booze filter is fantastic though. The good ones are better, and the bad ones are worse. Hahaha. I feel like everyone, unless they're totally hammered feels a little awkward when they're out in those sorts of social situations, and that helps to loosen me up. Still can't hang with water or soda though. Gotta keep smashing those overpriced non-alc beers.

[Gland Dongzig]

Thank You Gents :salute:

Grateful to have people to share such a 180 in life. Fam & friends supportive however they don’t understand. If you know, you know. Thank you, looking forward to seizing the day

Congrats man! I'm 6 weeks in myself. I had alcohol beat into submission for about 4-5 years, in my only other whole hearted bout with sobriety. Somehow I'm doing really well so far, even with being off my skateboard for the last two weeks due to a skate related injury. Great inspiration in this thread.

[Paco Supreme]

I think I knew this thread existed, but saw it mentioned elsewhere and searched out.

I took a month off drinking, wouldn’t say I had a problem in the classic sense, but I did drink almost daily.

My best friend has been off it for a couple years now, and was a great presence of grounding while I attempted my dry out.

Knowing I can stop out of the blue and not really face any kind of desperation toward the drink is really something to me.

Took a couple days into Feb to have a beer, tastes different than it used to. I think scaling back alcohol in my life in general is gonna be the path forward.

Anyone in this thread struggling with it, I respect the hell out of you for trying to/following through giving away alcohol.


Just wanted to put words into space about the experience I’ve had.

Love ya Pals

[Sleazy]

Nice on @Paco Supreme

[Ilya Oblomov]

In a couple weeks I'll hit a decade. Feels like only a couple years ago when I stop to think about it, but at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago.

I was a typical HCXSE, youth-crew, 90s skater kid until 19. My parents divorced and I gave up on my past self since my family broke apart. 20 years later I woke up from a 3-month bender following a layoff and decided I was done. That first day was scary--what if I can't stop and have withdrawal? Thankfully I didn't. I just went on a couple-hour long walk every day for a week at the time I would normally start drinking and listen to AA podcasts. After that I was just sober and didn't have any issues.

I know I'm fortunate and others don't have such an easy time. I feel for anyone who is stuck and/or struggling to get sober, and am not going to offer trite advice. Everyone has a different situation so their triggers, addiction, etc are all going to be unique. All I can say is I'll talk to anyone about it in the hope it helps them understand someone else's or their own problem and work towards their sobriety.

[Gland Dongzig]

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Thank You Gents :salute:

Grateful to have people to share such a 180 in life. Fam & friends supportive however they don’t understand. If you know, you know. Thank you, looking forward to seizing the day

[close]

Congrats man! I'm 6 weeks in myself. I had alcohol beat into submission for about 4-5 years, in my only other whole hearted bout with sobriety. Somehow I'm doing really well so far, even with being off my skateboard for the last two weeks due to a skate related injury. Great inspiration in this thread.

[close]

yo man. glad to hear you're on the wagon again. holler when you back in the 5 oh 8

Yessah you know I will! I'm thinking I will be up in the 5ohhhhhh8 around April. Already looking forward to a crusty session and some laughs man. It will be pretty fun enjoying the area outside of a bar room.

[Gland Dongzig]

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Thank You Gents :salute:

Grateful to have people to share such a 180 in life. Fam & friends supportive however they don’t understand. If you know, you know. Thank you, looking forward to seizing the day

[close]

Congrats man! I'm 6 weeks in myself. I had alcohol beat into submission for about 4-5 years, in my only other whole hearted bout with sobriety. Somehow I'm doing really well so far, even with being off my skateboard for the last two weeks due to a skate related injury. Great inspiration in this thread.

[close]

yo man. glad to hear you're on the wagon again. holler when you back in the 5 oh 8

[close]

Yessah you know I will! I'm thinking I will be up in the 5ohhhhhh8 around April. Already looking forward to a crusty session and some laughs man. It will be pretty fun enjoying the area outside of a bar room.

[close]

You mean skating is maybe more fun than Gilda’s?

Haha! I am going to have to guess yes to that, as my memorable nights (and sometimes days) at Gildas are foggy at best lol
I also just had my first sober birthday in many years today. Cruised around a couple parks on light duty, and ate like a king. Having a drink never even crossed my mind

[whale]

My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

[ralf_]

My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

then dont have that drink, mate.

[JoseCansnake0]

My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

I just stopped saying quit, and just say "I don't drink". Mentally for me and others, I feel it prevents me from having to explain "why"

This is your journey brother, don't worry about what others think, do it for your health and well being if thats what you so choose.

I'm proud of you, keep it up, you won't regret it!

[TheDraught]

I was down from 90 mg a day Valium (well, equivalency) to 1 mg a day, then relapsed a bit, now back on 2 mg a day. Hope to "jump" soon.

I've quit weed, nicotine, blow and uppers without major problems but benzos, damn...

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

I got a year off the sauce as of today, pretty stoked on that

[Burt Ward]

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My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

[close]

then dont have that drink, mate.

The first time I saw my doctor about my drinking problem and asked for advice he said to me "Just don't drink!", with a big smile on his face.

[whale]

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My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

[close]

then dont have that drink, mate.

[close]

The first time I saw my doctor about my drinking problem and asked for advice he said to me "Just don't drink!", with a big smile on his face.

Hey, it works!

[krookedjuice]

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My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

[close]

then dont have that drink, mate.

[close]

The first time I saw my doctor about my drinking problem and asked for advice he said to me "Just don't drink!", with a big smile on his face.

[close]

Hey, it works!

i'm starting to get this point where i don't really want to drink anymore and i really enjoy that and where most times i'd do it anyways because someone asked to have a drink i've felt a lot better sticking to not drinking.

i lurk in this thread a lot just to see others experiences and it's awesome to see all of you doing well on your journey!

[TheDraught]

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I was down from 90 mg a day Valium (well, equivalency) to 1 mg a day, then relapsed a bit, now back on 2 mg a day. Hope to "jump" soon.

I've quit weed, nicotine, blow and uppers without major problems but benzos, damn...

[close]

you on the etizolam equivalency? benzos/research benzos are the most insidious, harmful substances i've ever encountered.

be careful with the jump. you know this, i'm sure, but the delusions and hallucinations from too soon of a jump are realer and scarier than anything.

wishing you the best

Thanks! And yes both rc and pharma. But I stayed away from the real potent ones like clonazolam and flualp (blacked out on clonazolam once for a few days, scary stuff)

I fear the jump but also want to stop this tapering which is going on for about a year now.

[ralf_]

I got a year off the sauce as of today, pretty stoked on that

congratz!!

[TheDraught]

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I was down from 90 mg a day Valium (well, equivalency) to 1 mg a day, then relapsed a bit, now back on 2 mg a day. Hope to "jump" soon.

I've quit weed, nicotine, blow and uppers without major problems but benzos, damn...

[close]

you on the etizolam equivalency? benzos/research benzos are the most insidious, harmful substances i've ever encountered.

be careful with the jump. you know this, i'm sure, but the delusions and hallucinations from too soon of a jump are realer and scarier than anything.

wishing you the best

[close]

Thanks! And yes both rc and pharma. But I stayed away from the real potent ones like clonazolam and flualp (blacked out on clonazolam once for a few days, scary stuff)

I fear the jump but also want to stop this tapering which is going on for about a year now.

[close]

You can do it, for real! Passionflower extracts, valerian extracts, and the like can help once you jump. I know a couple cats who just ate chunks of hash for a few weeks when they jumped off. Helped them sleep, with RLS, and have an appetite.

Thanks again.  What helped me most so far is skateboarding. 
Just skating a curb or a bank at night certainly helps me sleep at night and gives me piece of mind.

If I jump I might stock up on edibles though

[Sleazy]

My gf and I did dry january again, I’m still going.
Hit 40 days today.
Funnily it’s harder to type this post, than not to get a drink.
Feel like if I label myself as a person who quit drinking, I’ll let people down and embarrass myself if I end up having a drink.

@whale a few quick things

- congratulations, that first month can be rough
- if you liked the benefits they get better and better the longer you hold it. I'm at 1 year and 7 months
- i talk about drinking the same way i talk about fitness or any other healthy habit "stopped drinking, wasn't sleeping good and wow been feeling so good, sleep scores have been on point, loving it. i've got so much engergy during the day it feels like a buzz". If you frame it around healthy living it usually lands really well and often times will get curious replies.
- i can't even believe how many people don't drink these days. it might be the circles i'm rolling in but i was pleasantly suprised with how common it is. i think it's more common and probably less awkward than being say a vegetarian these days. NOTE: i say that to emphasize how it's not a big deal at all, not to say being a vegetarian is negative in anyway. my wife has a similar limited diet.

[FUBAR]

As far as booze goes, good job to those abstaining! Shit is not easy, but SO rewarding in the long run. For those still strugling, remember why you want to stop drinking. For me, I just had to picture a choice: wife and young son who both need me, or a can of crappy light beer. It was an easy choice for me, but very hard to stick with at first.
It sounds lame, but in time, the thought of getting blackout shitfaced goes from HELL YEAH to ‘oh hell no, I don’t want to feel like total shit’.
Took me about two years for that fully kick in. Skating more was a savior for me.

[Enrico Pallazzo]

Two years for me, sobriety has had such a positive impact on my life and my relationships.

Only downside to date is the occasional awkwardness at conferences and work events, but the improvements in sleep, mindfulness, anxiety, mood, health, etc make it worth it many times over. 

[Sleazy]

the thought of getting blackout shitfaced goes from HELL YEAH to ‘oh hell no, I don’t want to feel like total shit’.

seeing people day drinking now blows my mind. i work at coffee shops on the weekends and i'll be working and look around and people are drinking mixed drinks and getting all loud and i'm thinking it's 11am what a waste of the rest of your day and tomorrow.

Only downside to date is the occasional awkwardness at conferences and work events, but the improvements in sleep, mindfulness, anxiety, mood, health, etc make it worth it many times over. 

that was surprisingly the easiest part for me. i feel like work relationships really don't matter though. it's like people you talk to in airports. sure it's cool when you talk to someone cool but it's a temporary thing for the most part. but i work remote and the "work" events i go to are usually networking, sales type things.

[HeavyAndExpensive]

On St Patrick’s day, I’ll be one year no booze.

For me, I’m dissatisfied, resentful of people that do get to do the thing I enjoy without a second thought. I don’t really have an urge to drink, that doesn’t really explain it well. It just so happens the thing that I really enjoy doing is bad for me.

I have tons of other hobbies, but you know what makes them cooler? Booze.

I’m not planning on drinking anytime soon, but fuck this. I never wanna see these YouTube personalities or Sobriety people talk about how amazing it is ever again, fuck them.

“It’s not enough to just quit booze, you have to work towards what made you drink non the first place?” I’m not sure exactly what that would be, but then what? I’m just pretty resentful of the world without going into too much detail. Sometimes there is no happy ending, shit just sucks, it’s not gonna get much better, but now you’re sober for it.