SOBRIETY

[HeavyAndExpensive]

Do you have a wife and children?

I’m asking this respectfully to get a better idea of your situation in life

[HeavyAndExpensive]

Having a long time partner makes all of this exponentially more easy, with all do respect.
I’m not trying to be rude truly. I am just very disappointed and generally resentful.

[HeavyAndExpensive]

Well it’s sober by myself for the foreseeable future. I make the best of my lot and life but there and man things that hugely affect my life that I simply have no control over. I except “how you look at it” matters and quite frankly I’m tired of hearing that. A shit hand is a shit hand and the people that say that don’t have to play it. without getting too personal about my life, I’m getting tired and scared. But hey at least I’m sober

[rawr1922]

Having a long time partner makes all of this exponentially more easy, with all do respect.
I’m not trying to be rude truly. I am just very disappointed and generally resentful.

Definitely agree having someone makes it much easier. Hard everyday to stay happy, sober, & fulfilled when you’re embarking on a different journey completely solo. Not being in a relationship turned into a major shortcoming of my life. Doesn’t help that whenever I talk to friends or family, they always ask if I am dating someone. Always think…wow thanks for bringing it up, it’s not like I don’t think about it all the time. All failed relationships due to substance abuse problems. Staying positive that I will find someone & develop a long term relationship while staying sober. Hoping you find someone too that makes you happy. Never settle, it will take time to find someone worthy. Really think having someone by your side & someone to hang out with everyday especially after a long day makes life more enjoyable.

I read your other post above about being resentful for people being able to go out & have drinks. I miss it too & jealous that they can keep it in check. New to the sober game nevertheless life way better now. Don’t miss dealing with the hangovers, doing damage control with everyone I interacted, & finances in disarray the next morning.

You have 1 year of sobriety under your belt. That is damn impressive, hope you keep it going. And the tone of your messages may indicate you’re not too happy right now. Really hard to stay positive day after day. Our brain the most powerful organ while being so temperamental. You may be doing everything healthy like sleep, exercise, & diet however still feel crummy when your mind decides to be goth. Certain you have your own routines to help you stay the course. For me, staying busy helps especially exercise. My whole life been used to major mood shifts from substances & exercise fulfills that high feeling. Sucks taking 1 day off to recover, that day I feel like a different person just straight up miserable. 

If you don’t do it already, recommend doing something different or fun once a week. Something I have been forcing myself to do & working on it still. Live music or eating out have been my go to, need to figure out more activities. Usually burnt out from the week/work/school & just want to stay home. Feels like a miserable figure 8 rat race if we don’t switch it up & get out of the house once a week. Good luck on your journey & stay strong

[HeavyAndExpensive]

I'm glad the rest of you are having fun with it.

Its the same shit for me but without the added fun of booze, with no positive prospects on anything in sight.

Hey - maybe I can go to singles night arts and crafts at the community center down the street. or Join a dumb ass kickball league that I'm sure I'll hate.

[EdLawndale]

I miss it too & jealous that they can keep it in check.

Most of them actually probably can't. I would wager that 85% of ppl who drink 3 or more days a week are having some serious problems that they just simply refuse to address and deal with.

[FUBAR]

Something I never thought would happen as a side effect of not drinking any more: at social gatherings, I notice the people with no personality when they are sober become some other person when drinking. I guess thats kind of why we all do it (to some extent) but it makes me like a person less when I see them go from some uptight kook who usually wouldnt speak to me to wanting to talk skating (its in the olympics now!) with me after they downed a few douchknuckle stouts or whatever the hell people drink these days. I just don’t respect that. Be a cool person with a real personality off the sauce, too.

[whale]

Something I never thought would happen as a side effect of not drinking any more: at social gatherings, I notice the people with no personality when they are sober become some other person when drinking. I guess thats kind of why we all do it (to some extent) but it makes me like a person less when I see them go from some uptight kook who usually wouldnt speak to me to wanting to talk skating (its in the olympics now!) with me after they downed a few douchknuckle stouts or whatever the hell people drink these days. I just don’t respect that. Be a cool person with a real personality off the sauce, too.

That’s a shitty and judgemental take, if I ever heard one.
Forget your social anxieties, just be a cool person.

[Sleazy]

really appreciate everyone sharing and being so venerable here and respect the progress you all are making.

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I miss it too & jealous that they can keep it in check.

[close]

Most of them actually probably can't. I would wager that 85% of ppl who drink 3 or more days a week are having some serious problems that they just simply refuse to address and deal with.

this was true for me. i probably qualified as a high functioning alcoholic and all the things that make a person traditionally successful were going well for me. career was doing great, married with kids and everyone was happy. after quitting drinking though i realized that i wasn't well equipped for rainy day situations. my business probably would have gone under and family life would be in a different place if i didn't quit drinking and it's not because i wasn't able to put in a full day and relax with a drink it's because i wouldn't have been able to start work at 6am and work till 9pm everyday and not be a total grouch to my family about it for the last year. i've not only been doing it but i've been enjoying it and feel "inspired", etc. and instead of my wife being stressed out i can tell she feels proud and even if things go down i know she'll be by my side supporting us because she see's how hard i'm fighting it. before i quit drinking my wife and i were also in a different place. we were fighting way more often and when we did fight they escalated quickly and then it became about how we fought, then there's resentment, etc. really we were both just tired and hung over and busy as i think most families are.

one example, i saw this show this weekend and as a person who doesn't drink anymore i watch this and go, have you two tried not drinking? i don't think creating a martini themed podcast is going to solve your problems. the lady doesn't look healthy, they drink like crazy and then wonder why they have a hard time with their marriage and then have a podcast help other folks who are doing the same thing. i talked to my wife about this and she immediately said "maybe try a dry 30"

[JoseCansnake0]

Misery loves company

Proud of everyone taking control of their lives and putting in the hard work. It's 100% worth it

[whale]

69 days.
Noice.

[honda trukk]

Don't try the 7 hydroxy pills, they're too good, I ruined 3 years for them, now I'm addicted to mango flavored percs

[fakiefs180]

Today is day 11, that I am off cigarettes. The first 6 days were brutal. Now I realize how much time I have during some days and feel hella bored. I also feel very depressed because I don't really know what else to do in my life besides skating and playing video games. It also doesn't help that I turned 34 and most of my friends don't take skating that seriously anymore. I quit weed, alcohol and now tobacco but something in me feels very sad although all those things are gone. What else is there to do? Are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding? I am not so sure about that to be honest.

Anyway I read through the last page and I am mad proud of you all. Alcohol addiction is horrible for you, your family and your neighborhood.

[Easy Slider]

Today is day 11, that I am off cigarettes. The first 6 days were brutal. Now I realize how much time I have during some days and feel hella bored. I also feel very depressed because I don't really know what else to do in my life besides skating and playing video games. It also doesn't help that I turned 34 and most of my friends don't take skating that seriously anymore. I quit weed, alcohol and now tobacco but something in me feels very sad although all those things are gone. What else is there to do? Are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding? I am not so sure about that to be honest.

Anyway I read through the last page and I am mad proud of you all. Alcohol addiction is horrible for you, your family and your neighborhood.

Bro well done for quitting ciggies. I smoked more than 25 years but stopped a few years ago. It‘s tough but really smoking is stupid and kills you. You made 11 days just keep strong and never ever think you could just smoke one cigarette. Just forget it. You are now a non smoker, so don‘t smoke. You can do it.

[Burt Ward]

Today is day 11, that I am off cigarettes. The first 6 days were brutal. Now I realize how much time I have during some days and feel hella bored. I also feel very depressed because I don't really know what else to do in my life besides skating and playing video games. It also doesn't help that I turned 34 and most of my friends don't take skating that seriously anymore. I quit weed, alcohol and now tobacco but something in me feels very sad although all those things are gone. What else is there to do? Are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding? I am not so sure about that to be honest.

Anyway I read through the last page and I am mad proud of you all. Alcohol addiction is horrible for you, your family and your neighborhood.

It's super common to feel depressed for a few weeks after quitting the darts. As for: are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding? Maybe not quite if that is the thing you love several degrees more than anything else. However,
if you have nothing else in your life you feel you can channel that same energy and emotion into, maybe try starting to do something you've never done, or used to love and stopped. You might find yourself feeling yourself just as rewarded, or more. I was lucky to have a few things that I loved that I could focus on when I quit drinking, but I know some people really struggle in that regard. Hope things look up for ya soon, bud.

[Blockwork]

something in me feels very sad although all those things are gone. What else is there to do? Are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding?

Nothing. It's boring but you get used to it over the years. I actually have found things that give me the same joy as skating like walking and gardening but it took me a few years to realize the fun in it, either that or my life is so boring now planting flowers seem cool. Either way things smooth out over time.

[Easy Slider]

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something in me feels very sad although all those things are gone. What else is there to do? Are there really things that can bring similar joy as skateboarding?

[close]

Nothing. It's boring but you get used to it over the years. I actually have found things that give me the same joy as skating like walking and gardening but it took me a few years to realize the fun in it, either that or my life is so boring now planting flowers seem cool. Either way things smooth out over time.

Planting flowers is dope, especially if you forget about them and then all of a sudden in Spring, they pop out of the earth.

I found some orchids on the street that someone had discarded and sure enough they are in full bloom rn.

You‘ll never know if an activity satisfies you until you try it even if you think it sounds lame.

I used to be a whisky buff and tasted single malts until I passed out. Now I order various teas and look foward to tasting them just as much as I did with the whisky but instead of killing myself, I get healthier.

We had a firm outing this weekend and when everybody was drunk after dinner and moved on to the bar I just went to bed and woke up naturally at six am the next day without having to worry about a hangover or stupid stuff I mght have said or done.

Anyway just rambling…

Hang in there brehs.

[Sleazy]

i can share on the boredom.

for me it was 7 to 9 or so the time i watch tv and then on the weekends after skating/biking etc... like easy slider i've gotten into domestics but i was on that before quitting drinking but now it's my go too when i have free time. we always have stuff to do around the house keeping up with our gardens etc...

on the professional front i've been working crazy hours but more from a point of inspiration. i have my own business and so i do my core work 9-5 ish, calls, project work, etc... but i get up and get started most days at 6am and work till usually 9pm. i've been diving really heavily into AI. i build software and i took on a project that one of my teams would normally do and i'm trying to build it instead with just me and ai. as i'm going along i'm trying to document the approaches in this new ai driven software approach. this got me into creating some youtube videos, some of these concepts have been taking off a bit and so now i've been trying to learn the youtube stuff better, i created more of a "themed" channel and have been upgrading all my setup. i've been using AI to create an editorial calendar and i'm trying to create this content related to the work i'm doing. i've sent some notes to some publishers and seeing if there's interest in a book on the topic.

blah, blah...

if i was drinking, none of this would probably be happening. the point i'm making is that boredom can be powerful if you start tinkering with stuff in all that freed up time. i spent all day today refining one of the concepts in this AI process i'm working on and i'm at the beach. if i was drinking i most likely would have been hung over and then would have had brunch with some drinks and slept all day.

find some shit to nerd out on. i truly believe every skater is a tinkerer at heart who likes producing things.

[Orangepulp1000]

Day 1 for me. I’ve been a pretty big drinker for a long time now. Usually 6beers per night every second night then when the weekends come it’s just a write off. My biggest problem is once I start I find it extremely hard to stop.


I did two months off it last yr and know it was the clearest I’ve been. I recently had a new daughter come into the world 10 days ago. My partner and her had to go back into the hospital due to complications but as of today are back home. Those few days while both were in the hospital I found myself drinking alone once home, waking up feeling like shit then going to the hospital and repeat. Woke up today and asked myself what the fuck am I doing.


I know the next week will be a little rough but I’ll get through it. Only sharing all this to come back to and hold myself accountable.

[Sleazy]

you got this @Orangepulp1000

first month was rough and for me first week i felt like shit and had a really bad crash on day 3-4 where i ended up taking a huge nap. i was drinking 2 (beer/wine) and 2 double whiskeys on week days, so very similar to your level. week 2 started sleeping better and feeling better.

now i really regret not starting right when i had my kids. you are in a great place to get started. good luck!

[Big Brother]

I spent 25 years being drunk 1-2 nights a week, mainly just going out to clubs/bar with friends. Like, drinking to get drunk. shots, beers. drink fast, get drunk, laugh, get food, sleep.

I never drank in between, never 2 days in a row, never in the daytime. Just to go out. Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful that the bottle didn't get me and develop into a real problem.

not too long before covid i was just kinda over it. stopped going to bars. might have been drunk 2 times since then. probably average 2 beers a month now when i crave one with a nice meal out on a date or with a friend.

i'm lucky and i know it. and life's so much better without all that even though it was super fun 99% of the time.

[bartlaser]

I'm a week into a booze break and trying to make it as long as I can.  Usually don't make it past a week but this time I'm feeling more motivated to go the distance.  I'm in my 40s now and I can really feel the inflammatory effects of regular drinking.  Whenever I get a few days without booze I'm like, 'dang this is nice, my body feels great, i sleep better, and I can think more clearly'.

The inflammation is crazy.  It just creeps up on you and you don't realize how it makes you feel like shit until you get off the sauce.

I want to do a lot more skating and biking this summer and feel top-notch while doing it.

[aztekmoon]

getting drunk's only fun socially anymore. so glad i stopped drinking/smoking alone

[Sleazy]

I'm a week into a booze break and trying to make it as long as I can.  Usually don't make it past a week but this time I'm feeling more motivated to go the distance.  I'm in my 40s now and I can really feel the inflammatory effects of regular drinking.  Whenever I get a few days without booze I'm like, 'dang this is nice, my body feels great, i sleep better, and I can think more clearly'.

The inflammation is crazy.  It just creeps up on you and you don't realize how it makes you feel like shit until you get off the sauce.

I want to do a lot more skating and biking this summer and feel top-notch while doing it.

i've shared this on here before but here's my sleep score the first year i quit. i tried moderating and nothing works as well and quiting.

[Bald and Embarrassed]

Today marks exactly one month of me being sober from alcohol.  I never had an addiction to it per se, but I would definitely label myself as a binge drinker/ weekend warrior. There were also periods of time when I would drink during the week, but not let it get out of hand to the point that it was affecting my everyday life.

What made me quit was because every single bad thing that has happened to me, besides things that were out of my control, was because of alcohol. I would always start off saying “I’ll just have a couple of beers and then go home” which would turn into like 10 beers, doing shots, etc and then coming home at 4 am completely smashed. Next day I wouldn’t remember half the night and occasionally I’d find out I did something embarrassing or said something I shouldn’t have said to someone. I even once went to a party and nearly got alcohol poisoning and made a fool of myself in front of everyone there. The last straw for me was getting into a fist fight with my friend not long ago. Even though bad things didn’t happen EVERY time I drank, I just don’t want to chance it ever again. Could I have just one beer and go home? Yes, I am capable of it..but I just don’t want to take the chance anymore.

One month doesn’t seem like a lot but I already feel so much better physically and mentally. I regret not doing this sooner.

[tobal]

1 month no alcohol no weed.
Havent felt better since i was 16.
Not looking to go back to alcohol as i saw how much it destroys people health, mind.
I want to be the best version of myself.

Thanks Slap forum.

[Coastal Fever]

Passed 2 years off booze and weed last week.  Joked with a friend about how it just gets harder everyday.  Been dealing with stressful life stuff lately, and the temptation to say fuck it and start having a few drinks/puffs again is very strong.  But I know it won’t be just a few, so I’m keeping the streak going for now.  Never even planned to be sober forever.. just haven’t had a good enough reason to stop yet.  Physical issues are keeping me from being as active as I’d like, so I’ve just been napping and eating like a mf.

[artskool]

I'm lucky to be the kind of person who doesn't seem to really pick up addictions in the way many people describe. I just wanted to contribute something I don't hear a lot about. I don't think I went to bed sober for probably 25 years more than a handful of times. Life had its ups and downs as you can imagine over that stretch, but booze was a constant.

At some point a year and a half ago, I just stopped drinking. It was hard to get out of the habit, I had tapered down significantly over the years which likely helped. I miss a lot of it, mostly drinking a whisky while I read before bed, but have never felt like I was walking a razor's edge or anything.

I've been drunk a couple of times during my "sobriety", which was still generally fun, but had zero trouble not picking up a bottle the next day.

What I want to convey to people that feel like they'll be wrestling with a demon moment to moment for the rest of their lives, and they're dreading that is just that sometimes it's not such a big deal. Again, I'm luckier than many, but getting off booze is something you can do without having some insane spiritual practice.

You'll feel better without it. I don't wake up with regrets, I immediately lost 15 lbs, and look a decade younger. Go for it.

And for those of you that do really struggle, this is in no way a slight against your battles. I just think that some people who might otherwise just pull the trigger and quit might be afraid to because there's so much dramatic addict talk that can make it sound like more than (sometimes) it is.

I'll just add too, that I've really never even discussed it. So, thanks for listening.

[Jim and Dan]

About to come up on 7 years since I finally decided I had had enough, April 30th of 2018. I had about a year a some change since I stopped seeing the dope man, but would continue to mainline cocaine and smoke rocks occasionally, always wanting more and more, something that was foreign to the "casual users" around me. My girlfriends mother died on April 20th of the aforementioned year, we had been really close and I had been taking care of her for close to a year at that point, during which my girlfriend left for a planned vacation and I stayed home. When cleaning up her house, I came across some an old friend, Klonopin. I decided to take them, lowering my inhibitions enough to go to Providence and try and find some crack. 12 hours and over $600 later, I found myself being scammed not once, but twice, by a semi-homeless man and a sex worker, promising crack and never coming back. I put myself in an extremely dangerous situation that could have turned out far worse than it did. As the sun came up I started to cry, realizing that not only had I disappointed others, I had disappointed myself. That was the moment I realized that I can't continue to live like this, either the drugs were going take everything from me or I was going to kill myself, I had been living like this for a decade at this point. The realization that while I don't have control over most things, I have the choice to not take that pill, take that hit, buy that bag, because ultimately while I may feel good in that moment, the negative feelings in the aftermath far outweighed that fleeting moment of euphoria I felt. For me personally, I can't have a life living like that, it took so much from me that I wish I could get back, but it also taught me to be the person I am today and for that, I am beyond grateful. Congratulations to everyone on their success, I am really proud of everyone that has come out the other side!

[Sleazy]

really enjoyed reading these latest updates

@Bald and Embarrassed first month is harderst part so definitely significant

@tobal id say i hadn't felt this good since i was 16 but i was drinking a lot then 😅 way to go!

@Coastal Fever i was talking with someone the other day about how dealing with stress is so much easier sober. it might be the same for you. 2 years is a hell of a streak. i'm at 1 year and 9 months. don't break it man!

What I want to convey to people that feel like they'll be wrestling with a demon moment to moment for the rest of their lives, and they're dreading that is just that sometimes it's not such a big deal.

my wife and i talk about this all the time. we are probably also lucky in this way. i can't relate to the struggle some folks feel. i used to do party drugs in college and had to quit after getting a little too deep but that shits done. i never randomly think it'd be great to do some coke and acid