Author Topic: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread  (Read 10041 times)

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PuffinMuffin

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #180 on: October 19, 2021, 12:46:50 PM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
iím 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #181 on: October 19, 2021, 12:57:46 PM »
been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it

damn, G. it's hard to adapt. I've been living with standard (if there is such a thing) tinnitus for about 2 years now. the first 6 months were very, very challenging. Definitely grieved silence. It sucks.

 The most helpful things I've found are to have noise in the house, music, white noise, fan, etc. Have you tried techniques to keep your blood pressure regulated? Drugs like caffeine and even weed at first made mine worse. Most helpful at night, for sleep, is running a fan, pointed at the wall, on a medium-high settings. stress gets me jacked up too, so even though it's noisy now, meditation really helps with regulation. might have something to do with learning to be aware v react.

good luck man. I hope you get to see a specialist. I've read that pulsatile tinnitus often has a root cause and can be treated.
stay high, lay low

straight

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #182 on: October 20, 2021, 07:47:37 AM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend

Sila

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #183 on: October 20, 2021, 07:50:15 AM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
[close]

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend

I've dealt with tinnitus for years. Last time it got really bad I just needed my ears cleaned out properly by a doctor. Have you had them checked out by anybody?

straight

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #184 on: October 20, 2021, 07:58:22 AM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

damn, G. it's hard to adapt. I've been living with standard (if there is such a thing) tinnitus for about 2 years now. the first 6 months were very, very challenging. Definitely grieved silence. It sucks.

 The most helpful things I've found are to have noise in the house, music, white noise, fan, etc. Have you tried techniques to keep your blood pressure regulated? Drugs like caffeine and even weed at first made mine worse. Most helpful at night, for sleep, is running a fan, pointed at the wall, on a medium-high settings. stress gets me jacked up too, so even though it's noisy now, meditation really helps with regulation. might have something to do with learning to be aware v react.

good luck man. I hope you get to see a specialist. I've read that pulsatile tinnitus often has a root cause and can be treated.

i made an appt with my gp for tomorrow to take a look at my ear .. in the meantime ive been having blood work done because theyíre trying to understand why i have lwbc .. have to get an ultrasound on my stomach and right nut cuz ive had chronic stomach pain for a year and 2 1/2 balls for a while now .. trying to stay positive but my mental state is pretty weak right now .. my grandma had bipolar and i think i may be dealing with that now . i get really moody but then when im happy itís really happy . sorry for the vent

i appreciate you usedto .. it really means a lot because i donít bring this up irl .. no one wants to hear about this shit because everyone i assume has their own issues .. the distractions like music and running my a/c on high while driving are helpful .. i know how standard tinnitus sounds in silence (and I  imagine those with severe tinnitus, life would be debilitating) but this is different .. itís like a damn drum in my right ear that wonít stop banging .. its audible but also physical as it feels like itís a hiccup in my ear . and itís 24/7

straight

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #185 on: October 20, 2021, 08:00:42 AM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
[close]

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend
[close]

I've dealt with tinnitus for years. Last time it got really bad I just needed my ears cleaned out properly by a doctor. Have you had them checked out by anybody?

i bought one of those earwax rx sprayers last night at  walgreens as a last resort and nothing came out .. hoping for some answers tomorrow with my gp or at least a referral for an ent .. thx sila

Sila

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #186 on: October 20, 2021, 08:05:14 AM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
[close]

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend
[close]

I've dealt with tinnitus for years. Last time it got really bad I just needed my ears cleaned out properly by a doctor. Have you had them checked out by anybody?
[close]

i bought one of those earwax rx sprayers last night at  walgreens as a last resort and nothing came out .. hoping for some answers tomorrow with my gp or at least a referral for an ent .. thx sila

You have to soften the wax first with the drops from a store or you can use a bit of olive oil. You do it over two or three nights before getting a doctor to wash it out. Impacted earwax won't come out without being syringed.

pugmaster

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #187 on: October 23, 2021, 08:56:45 PM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
[close]

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend
[close]

I've dealt with tinnitus for years. Last time it got really bad I just needed my ears cleaned out properly by a doctor. Have you had them checked out by anybody?
[close]

i bought one of those earwax rx sprayers last night at  walgreens as a last resort and nothing came out .. hoping for some answers tomorrow with my gp or at least a referral for an ent .. thx sila

Hey @straight , tinnitus is one of those things where there is a bunch of snake oil salespeople who "sell cures".  If you want, PM me and I can look into any therapy (empirically validated) approaches that are recommended by those ENTs or what you find online.  To the best of my knowledge, at this point, there is no 100% "cure" for tinnitus.
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straight

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #188 on: October 25, 2021, 08:49:18 PM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

Sorry to hear that friend.  :( I've had it for a couple of years, but it has since disappeared. It got so annoying I'd have to smack my ear to get some relief. Occasionally I'd be beating my head in public and got some crazy looks, but what can ya do...
[close]

ive tried smacking my head and that doesnít work .. besides that, do you have any other techniques that helped? mine starts at night when i lay in bed and usually least until late morning. itís is so loud and distracting and itís fucking me up ..
[close]

Riding my bike until complete exhaustion helped with falling asleep. Otherwise, I'd get insomnia from the fucking wind sound and weird pressure. The bad part is, you'll need to ride more and more miles because your body adapts, pretty soon you'll be riding 80 miles a day just to sleep. Shit wrecked my mental health, I felt like I was going insane, I don't know how my husband tolerated my constant complaining. The man deserves a medal. Hopefully yours goes away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
[close]

thx t .. i went to sleep and woke up with the thumping again today .. worked out and it hadnít come back yet . great advice as i think the extra blood circulating may be beneficial . thx for reaching out friend
[close]

I've dealt with tinnitus for years. Last time it got really bad I just needed my ears cleaned out properly by a doctor. Have you had them checked out by anybody?
[close]

i bought one of those earwax rx sprayers last night at  walgreens as a last resort and nothing came out .. hoping for some answers tomorrow with my gp or at least a referral for an ent .. thx sila
[close]

Hey @straight , tinnitus is one of those things where there is a bunch of snake oil salespeople who "sell cures".  If you want, PM me and I can look into any therapy (empirically validated) approaches that are recommended by those ENTs or what you find online.  To the best of my knowledge, at this point, there is no 100% "cure" for tinnitus.

open to anything at this point .. my mind is fried . to reiterate, im experiencing pulsatile tinnitus which is different than the high pitched kind

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #189 on: October 25, 2021, 09:22:15 PM »
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been having pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear and itís fucking me up mentally .. hard to explain to anyone who hasnít dealt with it
[close]

damn, G. it's hard to adapt. I've been living with standard (if there is such a thing) tinnitus for about 2 years now. the first 6 months were very, very challenging. Definitely grieved silence. It sucks.

 The most helpful things I've found are to have noise in the house, music, white noise, fan, etc. Have you tried techniques to keep your blood pressure regulated? Drugs like caffeine and even weed at first made mine worse. Most helpful at night, for sleep, is running a fan, pointed at the wall, on a medium-high settings. stress gets me jacked up too, so even though it's noisy now, meditation really helps with regulation. might have something to do with learning to be aware v react.

good luck man. I hope you get to see a specialist. I've read that pulsatile tinnitus often has a root cause and can be treated.
[close]

i made an appt with my gp for tomorrow to take a look at my ear .. in the meantime ive been having blood work done because theyíre trying to understand why i have lwbc .. have to get an ultrasound on my stomach and right nut cuz ive had chronic stomach pain for a year and 2 1/2 balls for a while now .. trying to stay positive but my mental state is pretty weak right now .. my grandma had bipolar and i think i may be dealing with that now . i get really moody but then when im happy itís really happy . sorry for the vent

i appreciate you usedto .. it really means a lot because i donít bring this up irl .. no one wants to hear about this shit because everyone i assume has their own issues .. the distractions like music and running my a/c on high while driving are helpful .. i know how standard tinnitus sounds in silence (and I  imagine those with severe tinnitus, life would be debilitating) but this is different .. itís like a damn drum in my right ear that wonít stop banging .. its audible but also physical as it feels like itís a hiccup in my ear . and itís 24/7

that sounds awful. synched up with your heartbeat or pulse? bro, I'm wicked sorry to hear this.

I'm reading your other posts and as someone who fucked around with my ears, putting warm olive oil, cleaning etc, if you can, have the GP do a lavage. it will clean out the crap the Walgreens kit doesn't get at and look into Cranial Sacral Massage Therapy. It's something that's helped mine a bit. I know we have different forms of the beast, but that cranial sacral shit helps me big time. doesn't get ride of the sounds, but makes it less intense. might be that it eases other areas around the skull, jaw, ENT, idrk, but it helps.

hit me in the DM anytime dude. for real. feeling gross and feeling helpless to it blows. I got yo back mane

stay high, lay low

in love w/ fs shuvs

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #190 on: October 25, 2021, 09:23:34 PM »
I moved out of my house last may to a brand new city where i know no one and that shit was hard as hell. After months of anxiety and getting fucked by landlords I'm finally hitting my stride. Been hitting the gym, eating healthy, and skating as much as possible. Shalom.
"Skateboarding is like jacking off, it's that good." - Jeremy Klein

matty_c

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #191 on: October 27, 2021, 02:18:52 AM »
Who knows ay, not a doctor but it sure feels like that tinnitus is off diff frequencies, like some shit I canít do without earmuffs but using like a circ saw or a droppy like cutting wood which I donít do daily, itís chill as

I reckon itís doing the same shit all day that fucks your ears

Even those yellow plastic ear plugs like the disposable ones, they are class 4 ay, just use them if you canít be fucked with muffs
You can fully buy a thousand of them for fuck all money and throw them away after one cut
listen to cosmic psychos

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #192 on: October 27, 2021, 05:58:28 AM »
Shit, haven't posted on slap in a minute...but gotta get this off my chest.

I've been having a real tough go of it this past year and a half and my mental health has never been worse. Negative self-image, stressful/toxic work environment...something needs to change.

On top of everything I strained my calf a few days ago skating out front of my house and it has me down bad. For the past couple months I've been trying to skate a little bit every evening and it was doing wonders.

Hope everyone here is doing well, keep your heads up.
Spray it like a high-rank sniper in the West Bank.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #193 on: October 27, 2021, 09:38:38 PM »
Shit, haven't posted on slap in a minute...but gotta get this off my chest.

I've been having a real tough go of it this past year and a half and my mental health has never been worse. Negative self-image, stressful/toxic work environment...something needs to change.

On top of everything I strained my calf a few days ago skating out front of my house and it has me down bad. For the past couple months I've been trying to skate a little bit every evening and it was doing wonders.

Hope everyone here is doing well, keep your heads up.

I'm wishing you a fast recovery, you shall skate again soon!

everypennyfedcar

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #194 on: October 28, 2021, 08:00:15 AM »
I hope so, I love skateboarding too much to lose it. I hate all these assholes trying to tell me it might be time to stop skateboarding, or getting injured is "what I get" for playing with a toy at my age.

It's such a cliche, but the whole "blank keeps me sane" really applies to skateboarding for me. I guess that comes with riding the thing for 20 years.
Spray it like a high-rank sniper in the West Bank.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #195 on: October 29, 2021, 03:52:53 AM »
I hope so, I love skateboarding too much to lose it. I hate all these assholes trying to tell me it might be time to stop skateboarding, or getting injured is "what I get" for playing with a toy at my age.

It's such a cliche, but the whole "blank keeps me sane" really applies to skateboarding for me. I guess that comes with riding the thing for 20 years.

Keep your head up, and take the steps necessary to pull yourself out of the toxicity around you. Even if it's hard, make sure to give calf some time to heal, it'll pay off in the long run. You got this!

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #196 on: November 01, 2021, 06:57:52 PM »
i tried mdma for the first time last night. i was expecting an uplifting response. instead, it turned out to be one of the most therapeutic moments of my life. it felt like my brain was rewiring itself. i got to experience all the traumas that i repress deep down and how theyíve been affecting me my entire life. how it shapes my behaviours and who i am. iím learning how to let go and heal. iím also learning how to drop my defences and be vulnerable. it felt like i was a kid again. innocent, confident, dumb, happy with a dash of fear.  my friends shared a lot of personal traumas and that hurt a lot. everyoneís going through some shit and makes me appreciate everyone i come across from now on

in love w/ fs shuvs

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #197 on: November 05, 2021, 06:52:47 PM »
i tried mdma for the first time last night. i was expecting an uplifting response. instead, it turned out to be one of the most therapeutic moments of my life. it felt like my brain was rewiring itself. i got to experience all the traumas that i repress deep down and how theyíve been affecting me my entire life. how it shapes my behaviours and who i am. iím learning how to let go and heal. iím also learning how to drop my defences and be vulnerable. it felt like i was a kid again. innocent, confident, dumb, happy with a dash of fear.  my friends shared a lot of personal traumas and that hurt a lot. everyoneís going through some shit and makes me appreciate everyone i come across from now on

the shit you experience on drugs aint no joke. but just dont overthink em and stay out ur head and youll be good
"Skateboarding is like jacking off, it's that good." - Jeremy Klein

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #198 on: November 08, 2021, 11:16:01 AM »
this is fucking weird to do this here... but its a place i call home on the waves of the web

lurking to get passed anxiety or even getting a consumer high from the gear sale threads. 

i feel like i hit a wall and dont know what to do. i used to skate to get by but i think after almost 15 years ive exhausted it. i cant even skate for fun now. even before covid i started working from home and i think thats been really messing with me. i dont get human interaction much. maybe when i go to drink with a friend. i feel so fucking dumb saying this because the answer seems simple. GO Skate.

fuck typing this i realize i should put in more effort to go out. i started therapy and shit. im trying everything i can but socializing. so as i typed this i called my homegirl and heading out to so cal on thursday.

any slap pals trying to skate there or in the bay area please hit me up.


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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #200 on: November 08, 2021, 02:42:47 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE2rEQBU8kM

realize that we can only do so much for our friends and loved ones, but learn the warning signs and tell people you love em. always tell your people you love them
stay high, lay low

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #201 on: November 09, 2021, 02:32:18 PM »
this is fucking weird to do this here... but its a place i call home on the waves of the web

lurking to get passed anxiety or even getting a consumer high from the gear sale threads. 

i feel like i hit a wall and dont know what to do. i used to skate to get by but i think after almost 15 years ive exhausted it. i cant even skate for fun now. even before covid i started working from home and i think thats been really messing with me. i dont get human interaction much. maybe when i go to drink with a friend. i feel so fucking dumb saying this because the answer seems simple. GO Skate.

fuck typing this i realize i should put in more effort to go out. i started therapy and shit. im trying everything i can but socializing. so as i typed this i called my homegirl and heading out to so cal on thursday.

any slap pals trying to skate there or in the bay area please hit me up.
If you haven't yet, go out and skate asap. Human interaction is priceless. I hope you get to feeling better, and if wasn't on the complete opposite coast, I would be down to go skate   :)
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lilboosie

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #202 on: November 09, 2021, 04:06:49 PM »
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this is fucking weird to do this here... but its a place i call home on the waves of the web

lurking to get passed anxiety or even getting a consumer high from the gear sale threads. 

i feel like i hit a wall and dont know what to do. i used to skate to get by but i think after almost 15 years ive exhausted it. i cant even skate for fun now. even before covid i started working from home and i think thats been really messing with me. i dont get human interaction much. maybe when i go to drink with a friend. i feel so fucking dumb saying this because the answer seems simple. GO Skate.

fuck typing this i realize i should put in more effort to go out. i started therapy and shit. im trying everything i can but socializing. so as i typed this i called my homegirl and heading out to so cal on thursday.

any slap pals trying to skate there or in the bay area please hit me up.
[close]
If you haven't yet, go out and skate asap. Human interaction is priceless. I hope you get to feeling better, and if wasn't on the complete opposite coast, I would be down to go skate   :)

hey this means a lot. i never expected slap to be a place to come and express this kind of stuff.

Seventyfuhkinseven

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #203 on: November 10, 2021, 05:55:56 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
this is fucking weird to do this here... but its a place i call home on the waves of the web

lurking to get passed anxiety or even getting a consumer high from the gear sale threads. 

i feel like i hit a wall and dont know what to do. i used to skate to get by but i think after almost 15 years ive exhausted it. i cant even skate for fun now. even before covid i started working from home and i think thats been really messing with me. i dont get human interaction much. maybe when i go to drink with a friend. i feel so fucking dumb saying this because the answer seems simple. GO Skate.

fuck typing this i realize i should put in more effort to go out. i started therapy and shit. im trying everything i can but socializing. so as i typed this i called my homegirl and heading out to so cal on thursday.

any slap pals trying to skate there or in the bay area please hit me up.
[close]
If you haven't yet, go out and skate asap. Human interaction is priceless. I hope you get to feeling better, and if wasn't on the complete opposite coast, I would be down to go skate   :)
[close]

hey this means a lot. i never expected slap to be a place to come and express this kind of stuff.
No problem at all man. If you ever need someone to vent to you can DM on here. There's no notifications but I will respond when I see it. Stay tough man and if nothing else just go for a roll.
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Tell me brother, have you heard
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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #204 on: November 11, 2021, 01:10:39 AM »
Anyone have a "bad apple" in the family that is not only self destructing, but also dangerous to the family as a whole? Like someone who clearly needs professional help, but would turn violent if you even suggested something is wrong with them?

My uncle is like that (when drunk, which is often) and he has been living with his parents after a failed relationship (has a kid, but they were never married) some 20 years ago. My grandpa died this year and he was the glue that held this status quo relatively benign. This is going to unravel slowly over the next decade or so.

However, my wife's brother is even worse than my uncle (although not alcoholic). And his uncle was the glue that kept him from doing anything stupid and he died of a stroke yesterday in front of him. This shit is probably going to unravel very fast in the next months and it is going to be an incredible psychological burden on his whole family, my wife included. Not to mention that his hyper-sensitivity to perceived provocations has been keeping everyone on edge for years now and that they're all already at their limits.

L33Tg33k

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #205 on: November 16, 2021, 11:11:23 PM »
Feeling downright suicidal at times. Sucks butt. At times I'm ok but then others I'm absolutely drowning in sadness and the sadness is winning. I don't think my meds are sufficient.
Before you say the music sucked, have you considered shutting the fuck up?

beatifk

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #206 on: November 17, 2021, 12:47:16 AM »
Anyone have a "bad apple" in the family that is not only self destructing, but also dangerous to the family as a whole? Like someone who clearly needs professional help, but would turn violent if you even suggested something is wrong with them?

My uncle is like that (when drunk, which is often) and he has been living with his parents after a failed relationship (has a kid, but they were never married) some 20 years ago. My grandpa died this year and he was the glue that held this status quo relatively benign. This is going to unravel slowly over the next decade or so.

However, my wife's brother is even worse than my uncle (although not alcoholic). And his uncle was the glue that kept him from doing anything stupid and he died of a stroke yesterday in front of him. This shit is probably going to unravel very fast in the next months and it is going to be an incredible psychological burden on his whole family, my wife included. Not to mention that his hyper-sensitivity to perceived provocations has been keeping everyone on edge for years now and that they're all already at their limits.

Yeah, I can relate to this, although I feel like my family situation is only in the very beginnings of showing this sort of issue. My brother seems to have completely detached from society and while I'm not sure he could become violent towards others I really wonder if he could cause some harm to himself.

He was already headed in this direction, as he feels he's a failure in his career and life in general (he is not, he just happened to begin a career in a difficult industry at the wrong moment in history) and he had a very bad breakup about 10 years ago or so that my father is convinced he never recovered from. My mother was always the one that held our family together. Unfortunately she died about 2 years ago and since then (in addition to COVID) my brother has just fallen deeper and deeper into whatever black hole he was going into. My father is and has always been a horrible support for our family, and he has just about given up on my brother. I live on the other side of the ocean from both of them so I'm unfortunately not able to asses the situation properly. If I listen to my apathetic father, I hear that my brother has given up on life and, in turn, my father has given up on my brother. Whenever I try to talk to my brother (maybe twice a year if we're lucky) he breaks down in tears and just keeps saying how he feels like a failure.

He refuses to go to therapy. I think this is left over from my mother who thought therapy was for weak people. My brother is still trying please her, even after her death. I've talked honestly with my father about it but neither of us are able to have any real conversation with my bro. Other people who spend time with my brother say he's a normal-seeming person, not this depressed monster that we describe. It's a pretty tricky situation. My father is coming to visit in December, but before that, him and my brother will be having a family thanksgiving with my father's new girlfriend, so hopefully that won't be a disaster.

I've considered inviting my bro to live with me for a while, but I don't have the time or energy to be the caretaker of a middle-aged man who doesn't know what to do with his life, it makes me feel like an asshole, but I have plenty of my own problems to deal with.

Family is tough.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #207 on: November 18, 2021, 09:16:55 AM »
Feeling downright suicidal at times. Sucks butt. At times I'm ok but then others I'm absolutely drowning in sadness and the sadness is winning. I don't think my meds are sufficient.

hang in there man. i'm struggling with my ADHD meds right now so i am sympathetic to what you are going through.

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #208 on: November 25, 2021, 06:57:37 AM »
https://twitter.com/tessabelllle/status/1015646089469485056?lang=en

Currently giving this a go before I give therapy another go
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biaherl

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #209 on: November 29, 2021, 05:24:00 PM »
I started this account about a year ago because I had heavy suicidal thoughts again. My handle biaherl is just were my fingers landed on the keyboard when I made this account.

I made the account because I wanted to talk to something/one about my thoughts but did't have the courage to do so. Ive been in and out of therapy for over 30 years and found that I can't really open up to therapist. I try to get therapist that I don't respect so I can tell them some evil shit but then I just end up hating myself for being hurtful. January is coming so I'll be able to get another five free therapy visits through my work's employee assistance program. Sometimes I'll stay with the same one and sometimes I'll try five different therapist.

I've gotten real good at self therapy so righting down my thoughts and shredding them or even just saying them out loud helps a lot. Having friends and family that have been through therapy helps too because they know the deal. Exercise and access to the sun has been helping but lately I haven't been doing as much as I should and I just blame my melancholy on the Santa Anas

I'll try not to right a book here but this was step one

Life is a trip