Author Topic: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread  (Read 25310 times)

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IJC

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #360 on: April 03, 2023, 05:25:22 AM »
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I am going through the end of my marriage. I feel lost and donít know what to do. I donít feel loved anymore, she has a new job a couple of years ago and everything changed. Me and our family donít seem to be her priority anymore. Hanging out with people from work is more important. Also her childhood traumas makes it difficult to conect in a deeper level. All that is draining anything good from me, i always considered myself a confident and Easygoing guy, but know i Can even recognize myself. I believe i lost my self trying to hard to adapt to this lack of attention and love.
I needed to get that out of my chest.
[close]

yeah sounds like a good idea to get out of that marriage if you've been feeling that way for a very long time. i was never married, nor had kids, so no idea if that might complicate things more, but regardless, you have to look out for yourself. imo it's better to call it quits and find happiness with someone else than to drag out a loveless relationship. my parents never loved each other, always argued and fighted, but never seperated, which made mine and my brothers childhoods constantly revolve around their beef and it was the worst thing that could happen to our family as we would all become mentally ill from this in our teenage years. so even if you have a kid, if you think the relationship is unfixable, a peaceful seperation might be healthier for the kid(s) in the long run than to stay together for them. i only say this because i know a few cases where kids were the sole reason parents weren't seperated and pretty much no child comes out unscathed from under a toxic or loveless relationship. it's better to have one happy parent than two depressed parents who fight each other. i wished so much my mom would have seperated when she could, i was practically begging her to leave my dad for her and our sake. and also the kids always know whatsup. you can't play it fine in front of them. they might not say something, but kids always know the vibes.

anyways, good luck for your future.


Thanks for taking the time to comment, i think you are right about leaving a loveless marriage. Itís hard because we have a Kid, but it will be better for the long run. And like you said kids always know whatís. I guess i am done playing happy family anymore.

DERBY

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #361 on: April 05, 2023, 06:54:28 AM »
every april i tend to get the worst hypomanic episodes. sorta felt the come up sunday and now itís pretty much at its peak. called off work and managed to fuck that up. i fucking hate hypomania itís not fun

50mm

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #362 on: April 13, 2023, 08:49:59 PM »
Missed being on here. Got pretty depressed a little over a year ago. I'm deeming 2022 a bad year for me. Im practicing calm as much as I can and I'm still being put to the test but I think I am doing better. I'm glad to come on here and read what people are talking about. I really laugh a lot when I read stuff on here. I always think of that sig. talking about Jereme Rogers looking like the devil in a Christian school play. hahaha

Edit: SHALOM!

Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #363 on: April 14, 2023, 05:32:05 AM »
Missed being on here. Got pretty depressed a little over a year ago. I'm deeming 2022 a bad year for me. Im practicing calm as much as I can and I'm still being put to the test but I think I am doing better. I'm glad to come on here and read what people are talking about. I really laugh a lot when I read stuff on here. I always think of that sig. talking about Jereme Rogers looking like the devil in a Christian school play. hahaha

Edit: SHALOM!

Welcome back mate, a heavy SHALOM to you too and just take it one day at a time, all shall pass with time.
Roll for Rusty, Frip, Dapple and Tate


Uncle Flea

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #364 on: April 20, 2023, 09:38:12 AM »
I just wanted to remind you all that

I luv you and I hope all your best dreams come true.
Plz stop killing each other
(A)pl(E)




Coastal Fever

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #365 on: April 21, 2023, 07:54:09 AM »
Same to you, brother.  Youíre a kind soul and fully deserve it.

Had my first FaceTime appointment with a psychologist yesterday.  It was a really big step for me, and maybe my expectations were too high because of how expensive it was, but I was not satisfied with how it went.

She was very, very elderly to say the least, and she was 5 minutes, or $17.50, late calling.  Then I had to teach her how FaceTime works, and she started off by telling me about the weather where she was at. 

Admittedly, I did go off in circles about many personal issues.. but she mostly just spat out stuff Iíd heard already on self help podcasts, then sent me an email with a photocopied cheat sheet about non-violent communication.

Iím not giving up on my self improvement journey, but unless I find a coupon on the ground for 5 Free Psychotherapy Sessions, Iím going to have to explore other avenues.

Uncle Flea

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #366 on: April 21, 2023, 11:28:37 AM »
IDK even know what to say to my counselor anymore. I been complaining about the same shit for too long w/o solution. I think I'm dying from infection
Plz stop killing each other
(A)pl(E)




Mr. Kamikazi

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #367 on: April 22, 2023, 09:14:49 AM »
IDK even know what to say to my counselor anymore. I been complaining about the same shit for too long w/o solution. I think I'm dying from infection

Find a professional social worker also known as an LCSW. Theyíre trained to look at ALL angles when working with someone. Itís called a systems perspective. Iím an LSW myself & Iím in therapy with an LCSW & my goodness, itís great.

Mr. Kamikazi

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #368 on: April 22, 2023, 09:22:04 AM »
I am super biased, but for a good reason as a lot of times, psychologists and people with strictly counseling degreeís only look at the micro issues. This often not enough. The bottom line is, everything around us. Even the environment affects us. An LCSW will understand that and should take that into consideration. Mezzo-group/family Macro-Policies, social institutions (Four headed monster; church, school, government & maybe family as well. 


I wish you all well & dm for anything. I know Iím unpopular on here at times for defending Mr. Berle, laughing at your beloved Honey Island & Horses & when I first came here defending Anthony Pappalardo but we are all humans & caring for one another is beyond important.


Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #369 on: April 24, 2023, 04:54:20 AM »
IDK even know what to say to my counselor anymore. I been complaining about the same shit for too long w/o solution. I think I'm dying from infection

Fuck, I feel like this every time...

Basically most everything that bothers me now is a result of not taking action in the aspects of life that are holding me back and it's been like that for several years i.e., "I'm going to leave this job" or "I'm going to leave this relationship". Every time they mention that I've been complaining about the the same things for years I just feel like a fucking idiot.
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Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #370 on: May 03, 2023, 10:38:42 AM »
I just don't even want to deal anymore, even with life being the most stable it has been in like 20 years I'm still extremely stressed out about almost every aspect of my life, overall unhappy and disillusioned and I just don't want to continue on this way. I just don't know what to do anymore, I've given everything I've got and it just feels like I've got nothing more to give.
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IusedToSkateMore

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #371 on: May 07, 2023, 08:48:27 PM »
Expand Quote
IDK even know what to say to my counselor anymore. I been complaining about the same shit for too long w/o solution. I think I'm dying from infection
[close]

Find a professional social worker also known as an LCSW. Theyíre trained to look at ALL angles when working with someone. Itís called a systems perspective. Iím an LSW myself & Iím in therapy with an LCSW & my goodness, itís great.

Its an LICSW where @Uncle Flea is located.

@Jim and Dan

Hang in there bud. I gotta go skate providence this fall and need a guide. Maybe we can make a mission and get flea bag to skate with is as well
stay high, lay low

Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #372 on: May 08, 2023, 04:37:35 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
IDK even know what to say to my counselor anymore. I been complaining about the same shit for too long w/o solution. I think I'm dying from infection
[close]

Find a professional social worker also known as an LCSW. Theyíre trained to look at ALL angles when working with someone. Itís called a systems perspective. Iím an LSW myself & Iím in therapy with an LCSW & my goodness, itís great.
[close]

Its an LICSW where @Uncle Flea is located.

@Jim and Dan

Hang in there bud. I gotta go skate providence this fall and need a guide. Maybe we can make a mission and get flea bag to skate with is as well

I'll be there, it's just been a long couple of years...
Roll for Rusty, Frip, Dapple and Tate


Idk

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #373 on: June 25, 2023, 01:41:49 PM »
Iím entering rehab or intensive out patient care this Tuesday. A few weeks ago I had gotten my card declined trying to get breakfast burritos and I had my girlfriendís dog in the car. I knew I had money but I had also spent a lot the night before on a sex worker and weed too. Something hit me and I knew if I didnít get help Iíd black out from mental exhaustion and just walk on the road or Iíd just cry profusely while driving and crash. But I didnít want to admit to my girlfriend or stop using weed. So I just went to my mom who I knew wouldnít really do anything. I just kept going and then last week my girlfriend broke up with me. It was like every time I did something bad I would keep saying in my head youíre going to lose the people important to you but I just kept doing it. Like having my hand over a candle and seeing if it got burnt, then trying again to get a different result.

Edit: it is really hard not to just smoke some weed right now. Pretty much from 15/16 on I have been smoking. Something bad happens letís smoke. Something good happens letís smoke. Movie theater? Smoke. Right now I want to smoke but I know that itíll end with me being scared once it runs out and I canít find more.

Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #374 on: June 26, 2023, 04:48:36 AM »
Iím entering rehab or intensive out patient care this Tuesday. A few weeks ago I had gotten my card declined trying to get breakfast burritos and I had my girlfriendís dog in the car. I knew I had money but I had also spent a lot the night before on a sex worker and weed too. Something hit me and I knew if I didnít get help Iíd black out from mental exhaustion and just walk on the road or Iíd just cry profusely while driving and crash. But I didnít want to admit to my girlfriend or stop using weed. So I just went to my mom who I knew wouldnít really do anything. I just kept going and then last week my girlfriend broke up with me. It was like every time I did something bad I would keep saying in my head youíre going to lose the people important to you but I just kept doing it. Like having my hand over a candle and seeing if it got burnt, then trying again to get a different result.

Edit: it is really hard not to just smoke some weed right now. Pretty much from 15/16 on I have been smoking. Something bad happens letís smoke. Something good happens letís smoke. Movie theater? Smoke. Right now I want to smoke but I know that itíll end with me being scared once it runs out and I canít find more.

Godspeed little doodle. It's a powerful thing to recognize what you have stated and a lot of people will shit on others with the whole "weed isn't addicting" thing, but it 100% can be both psychically and psychologically addicting. This was certainly the case for me and probably comes down to a combination of personality and the effects you derive from the experience. If shit isn't working, make the change and you seem to have realized that and are moving in a positive direction, be proud of that because I know plenty of people who can't admit even the slightest weakness and their lives are nothing but misery.
Roll for Rusty, Frip, Dapple and Tate


Frank

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #375 on: June 26, 2023, 05:18:14 AM »
@Idk

stay strong. good thing you're entering rehab i guess. i guess they can help you if you want to stop smoking, too. it will probably be some sort of requirement that you at least try to stay away from it, as it might fuck with possible medication. i get the anxiety when the weed runs out... i hope you'll learn to replace the anxiety with a sense of opportunity. a lot of things are better done when we are not high as fuck, once you recognize how precious sober time can be to get shit done you enjoy you wouldn't do when high, it will get easier. finding these things out always means going through uncomfortable times. you can definitely do this, it's gonna be a few days where you feel terrible, but afterwards you will see the world with different eyes i'm sure. every dopamine rush you can induce during sober time will make you appreciate it more and make it more likely to try and stay that way from now on. it's easier to set yourself boundaries when they don't feel as such.

Idk

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #376 on: June 28, 2023, 03:23:11 PM »
Anyone have experience with mood stabilizers? They prescribed me diavalproex sodium 250g one in the morning one at night.

Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #377 on: July 07, 2023, 06:46:05 AM »
Anyone have experience with mood stabilizers? They prescribed me diavalproex sodium 250g one in the morning one at night.

I used to take lamotrigine with venlafaxine and all they ever did was make me feel flat, no ups, no down, no real care for myself or anyone else. I've heard some people respond well to them but that's the problem with modern psychiatric medicine, it's not a one-size-fits-all formula when it comes to medications and how you will respond to them. I've ultimately decided they aren't for me, but by no means take that as an endorsement to not take them, as I don't know your particular circumstances or background. It appears that this is an off-label anti-convulsant, which is pretty common these days and may not present some of the same issues that classic anti-psychotics or a-typical anti-depressants may present regarding physical and mental side-effects. If it's a path you want to take, give them a month or 2 to stabilize and if they present issues, consult your doctor about replacement or augmentation. I'd always advise another form of talk-therapy in conjunction with any medication treatment, as only speaking for myself, were temporary fixes to a much larger issue and are not a "quick fix". 

Edit: Wishing you the best with whatever you may be struggling with and don't be afraid to PM me if you need anything.
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Idk

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #378 on: July 07, 2023, 07:48:14 AM »
Expand Quote
Anyone have experience with mood stabilizers? They prescribed me diavalproex sodium 250g one in the morning one at night.
[close]

I used to take lamotrigine with venlafaxine and all they ever did was make me feel flat, no ups, no down, no real care for myself or anyone else. I've heard some people respond well to them but that's the problem with modern psychiatric medicine, it's not a one-size-fits-all formula when it comes to medications and how you will respond to them. I've ultimately decided they aren't for me, but by no means take that as an endorsement to not take them, as I don't know your particular circumstances or background. It appears that this is an off-label anti-convulsant, which is pretty common these days and may not present some of the same issues that classic anti-psychotics or a-typical anti-depressants may present regarding physical and mental side-effects. If it's a path you want to take, give them a month or 2 to stabilize and if they present issues, consult your doctor about replacement or augmentation. I'd always advise another form of talk-therapy in conjunction with any medication treatment, as only speaking for myself, were temporary fixes to a much larger issue and are not a "quick fix". 

Edit: Wishing you the best with whatever you may be struggling with and don't be afraid to PM me if you need anything.
Im about two weeks into taking depekote(spelling might be off?) but so far my impulses are much better. I donít have the urge to drink and drive or fuck as many women as possible plus I am feeling calmer in my mood. Itís crazy to think Iíve probably been dealing with this most of my life. I just thought I was lazy then Iíd get my shit together for a few days then lazy or sad again for some reason.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2023, 09:17:25 AM by Idk »

Velcro Wallet

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #379 on: July 17, 2023, 05:31:01 PM »
Iím sure Iím definitely not the only one.
But do you feel like you were never destined for a happy life??

Iíve ticked all the things that ďpeopleĒ will say youíve made it. Youíre doing everything right.
And I still feel like a piece of sidewalk dog shit.

The only time where I thought ďthis is what life is aboutĒ was NYE 2010 when I was watching the fireworks with my pregnant girlfriend and thinking ďthis is itĒ I was happy.

Then my son was born, on my birthday, and I was mad nervous and confused , her family claimed dominance and I never had much input unless I was sleeping on the floor next to his crib so his mum could sleep. I did that for the first year. But I was more worried that Iíve brought a kid into this world of shit.

But I tried my hardest. She comes from a long line of money. I do not. She left me and took him interstate which is illegal here. But her mother has lawyers on retainer so..

I donít know what Iím trying to say.

Actually!!!

Have you ever been truely happy???

shouldn't

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #380 on: July 22, 2023, 11:16:02 PM »
Iím sure Iím definitely not the only one.
But do you feel like you were never destined for a happy life??

Iíve ticked all the things that ďpeopleĒ will say youíve made it. Youíre doing everything right.
And I still feel like a piece of sidewalk dog shit.

The only time where I thought ďthis is what life is aboutĒ was NYE 2010 when I was watching the fireworks with my pregnant girlfriend and thinking ďthis is itĒ I was happy.

Then my son was born, on my birthday, and I was mad nervous and confused , her family claimed dominance and I never had much input unless I was sleeping on the floor next to his crib so his mum could sleep. I did that for the first year. But I was more worried that Iíve brought a kid into this world of shit.

But I tried my hardest. She comes from a long line of money. I do not. She left me and took him interstate which is illegal here. But her mother has lawyers on retainer so..

I donít know what Iím trying to say.

Actually!!!

Have you ever been truely happy???
hey man, sorry to hear about your divorce & losing your child. no matter what ties someone has, they definitely shouldnít be able to break the law because they are related to someone who is ďhigher upĒ so to speak or ďabove the lawĒ. itís misfortunate. with that, i want to respond to your question. have you ever truly been happy? well, i too have been asking myself this lately. i have also gone through more losses than the common person, pretty much my whole immediate family to be exact. so when i stumble upon this question, i raise the point to myself that yes, indeed i was happy. i was happy when i had my family, thatís why i am so depressed now. the same goes for you it seems. you were happy when your child was born right? the day you got married? otherwise you wouldnít be so down now about having lost them. that is how i feel. in order to feel this low, i had to have felt a lot higher at some point, & the memories of when i did taint the feeling of now because of how much i miss that feeling & that comfort. what does that say though about you or i? that we at least have enough compassion for the things that we love, that bring us joy, so much so that the lack of them or the sudden parting from them makes us question our own happiness. that says a lot more about you than you think it does. & it also says that despite how it feels right now, you have the heart to make it through this and to find a new joy in your life as well as hopefully patching the holes that are there & reuniting with your loved ones as much as possible down the line, so long as you keep your composure and donít let these hard times allow you to spiral downwards as i did. sometimes things just fall apart no matter how hard you try to keep them together and by no doing of your own. life is a test. i hope the best for you & i appreciate your vulnerability and your speaking out of it for all members on board. i just found this thread and want to say that i truly appreciate it, letís all do our best to keep a good supportive group here despite what this site may be to the outside eye.

imagine fucking the dog shit outta chris roberts

Jim and Dan

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #381 on: July 26, 2023, 09:39:32 AM »
Iím sure Iím definitely not the only one.
But do you feel like you were never destined for a happy life??

Iíve ticked all the things that ďpeopleĒ will say youíve made it. Youíre doing everything right.
And I still feel like a piece of sidewalk dog shit.

The only time where I thought ďthis is what life is aboutĒ was NYE 2010 when I was watching the fireworks with my pregnant girlfriend and thinking ďthis is itĒ I was happy.

Then my son was born, on my birthday, and I was mad nervous and confused , her family claimed dominance and I never had much input unless I was sleeping on the floor next to his crib so his mum could sleep. I did that for the first year. But I was more worried that Iíve brought a kid into this world of shit.

But I tried my hardest. She comes from a long line of money. I do not. She left me and took him interstate which is illegal here. But her mother has lawyers on retainer so..

I donít know what Iím trying to say.

Actually!!!

Have you ever been truely happy???

That's beyond fucked up about your child and given the circumstance, just confirms my belief that financial wealth offers affords those with it more opportunities, privilege and power. It may not be able to buy happiness, but it surely givens people or entities more advantage over those with less. Situations like this just make me enraged at the influence that money has over people's lives...

To answer your question, no I have never been truly happy albeit for a few fleeting moments and have felt for most of my life that it's probably not in the cards for me, that I'm just not built for life in its current state. I constantly have to search for meaning and purpose, as I currently don't really want to end it all, but will find myself in a bizarre state of limbo if I don't keep gasping for those breathes of hope.

Does anyone deal with any auto-immune disorders that leave them feeling weak, tired, sore and fatigued all the time? If so and you've managed to remedy those issues, what would you suggest the first steps be? A blood test for lyme (which was negative) just revealed high ANA levels (indicating some kind of auto-immune response), which could just be psoriasis, but I've been feeling like constant shit for some time now and my rheumatologist is fucking slacking getting me back in there. I'm 34 years old and feel like I'm like fucking 89, I don't think this is normal and people tend to poo-poo me as I'm being overdramatic or a hypochondriac. I remember Spencer Hamilton saying he was having similar issues and switched his diet I believe, but that would be subject to whatever the root cause is but it does give me hope.
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lemonchicken91

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #382 on: July 30, 2023, 01:02:03 PM »
Just stopping by to vent

Got a new job in march after being laid off in november,
was too complacent at last job and mis my coworkers

new job is much more pay and ive been letting it stress me out (larger company more corporate)
I'm doing well and upgrded my apt and money situation but I am losing sleep from stress.

ITs not even that stressful I am just putting too much pressure on myself.
I think the shadow of being a degenerate skate graff bro hovers over me sometimes as I mask as a corporate overachiever


Tommy G

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #383 on: August 09, 2023, 09:40:57 AM »
I'm taking August to cut out some stuff in my life that I feel like is contributing to my bad mental state as of late. So far, it's been sugar and alcohol. I guess I never realized how much it was a comfort habit (borderline addiction) and it was affecting my mental and physical health to an extent I didn't realize. I don't drink heavily, but it was a daily habit to have a beer or two after work and ice cream or some sort of sweet after dinner. I think for the past three years I haven't used some of the healthier ways to cope with my life and how busy it is, so I'd just stay home, drink, watch YouTube endlessly, and wonder why I was so moody and inactive.

So far it's been going well, I've reduced sweets to once a week, I haven't drank in over a week, and I'm enjoying stuff like playing and listening to music more. I still have a lot of work to do and I'm hoping to keep this type of habit up so I don't go back to the way I was. Can't wait to skate again next month once my break is over.

frontsideNECKTIE

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #384 on: August 09, 2023, 04:01:22 PM »
I posted the following in the "Things You're Not Stoked On" thread, but was made aware of this conversation as a better fit

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I've never admitted anything like this before, but I'm pretty certain I'm mentally unwell. I think about suicide far too often - thank the powers that be I've never attempted anything - and I get stuck in a thought loop of self loathing for even considering taking my own life.

I have a son who's not even a year old yet, a partner who I've been with for nearly 10 years, a stable job, nice place to live with reasonable rent, I'm healthy as hell, but fuck man... idk what my deal is.

I'm emotionally volatile, easily angered, and constantly overwhelmed by basic life shit.. like doing fuckin laundry.... then the thought loop continues

"Why bother doing anything? Nothing I do makes anyone happy. You should be better, everything in your life is set, and you're still fucking up. The only relief you can find is in beer and a silly kids toy."

Even talking about this seems so asinine and self-indulgent. Like who really cares? It's fucked too, because I have trouble listening and digesting other people's problems so to talk about my own seems.... shitty

So yeah, there's that. Hopefully writing this down will give me some kind of grounding, I guess. Thanks for reading.

----

I'm doing better most days, but still get into these funks about 1-2x/week.

My SO gives me the time to vent to her, but I don't utilize that platform very well. I'm not great at filtering myself when I speak, and I would hate to say something I can't take back. She's maybe too close to vent to...

I hate being fucking angry, I hate being short on patience, I hate the hypocrisy in my mind when other people get short tempered and frustrated, I hate making mountains out of molehills. I drink too much, I sleep well but not nearly enough, I feel absolutely ashamed about certain thoughts I have, I need to move up in my job but the next position is leadership which seems fucking stupid to let someone like me be a lead.

Idk man, life has just been getting under my skin recently. But oh boy, good thing I can still do a fuckin kickflip....

On a brighter note, I was reminded of this song the other day - I forgot how much hope this song gave me at one point..

https://youtu.be/9ckv6-yhnIY




Do you see another one of these over there?

Mr. Pickles

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #385 on: August 11, 2023, 11:29:18 AM »
^^
I felt like this for a really long time. I never seriously thought about ending it though but would always just think it would be easier if I wasnít around. Go ride my bike into the woods and never come out kind of  thing. I went in for my annual physical and I basically told my doc that I was just waiting around to die. So 15 years or so after a diagnosis I finally started taking meds. I was so tired of just being a raging manic asshole all the time. Itís crazy how different I feel after a few weeks. Just calm. I also feel pretty guilty about not handling this earlier and putting my family through the wringer. Im surprised theyíre still with me.

Also quit drinking. Iím not trying to mess this up.

frontsideNECKTIE

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #386 on: August 11, 2023, 11:54:50 AM »
^^
I felt like this for a really long time. I never seriously thought about ending it though but would always just think it would be easier if I wasnít around. Go ride my bike into the woods and never come out kind of  thing. I went in for my annual physical and I basically told my doc that I was just waiting around to die. So 15 years or so after a diagnosis I finally started taking meds. I was so tired of just being a raging manic asshole all the time. Itís crazy how different I feel after a few weeks. Just calm. I also feel pretty guilty about not handling this earlier and putting my family through the wringer. Im surprised theyíre still with me.

Also quit drinking. Iím not trying to mess this up.

Hey man, I'm glad it seems like you made it through the other side of the darkness

I've never taken medication for any sort of mental problem, since our issues seem pretty similar, I'm curious what they prescribed for you?

Additionally: I wish my loved ones would kick me in the ass more... effectively "call me out". I'm already upset in those moments, and I talk enough shit to myself anyone else's 2 cents are small time.

"Aye Eeyore, you gonna help clean the kitchen/change the baby/make the bed/etc?"

I guess staying busy helps give me purpose, and I guess it's hard to motivate myself

Do you see another one of these over there?

Mr. Pickles

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #387 on: August 11, 2023, 01:05:50 PM »
Iím on cymbalta. The first week was rough with side effects and I almost quit. I emailed my doctor like ďthis is fucked upĒ but he told me to push through and basically on day six I felt better. I was nauseous and tired, and every time I yawned I wanted to dry heave. And I was yawning a lot.

Talk to your doctor man, if not for meds at least for a referral to mental health. I was diagnosed at 25 with major depression and ptsd, and I just ran with with, like this is me, fuck everyone else. Iím 41 now, and a big part of wanting to get out of it was my kid. I didnít want him to grow up and think this was how to be. I didnít want him to be afraid of me. Not physically, but just like am I going to snap on him or make him feel bad. Anyway, good luck man, and feel free to dm me if you want to talk about anything.

frontsideNECKTIE

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #388 on: August 11, 2023, 03:53:26 PM »
I appreciate your input, Mr Pickles.

Your words give me hope, and your username makes me salivate.
Do you see another one of these over there?

Candied cigarettes

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Re: The WELLNESS OUTREACH & SUPPORT Thread
« Reply #389 on: August 23, 2023, 10:09:57 AM »
Having a little injury anxiety at the moment. Last Friday I was having some back pain likely from overworking it. Iíve had this before, so not a big deal. However, slightly different situation this time. I have a physical job now so it means i canít work. I also just started this job 2 months ago, which means I already used all the sick time I have, and I also donít have health insurance until the first day of September so i canít go see a doctor. Iíve taken the last 5 days of work, but have to go back to work tomorrow because i need to start making money again given my shaky financial situation (moving expenses mainly). Not the worst situation Iíve ever been in, but not a great feeling either.

Overall, a little concerned/anxious. I started some very light back stretches last night and I think itís helping, but i think my judgment is clouded because of my anxiety. Feels good to write this out, Iíve been ruminating on this while Iíve been stuck at home for almost a week now. On the bright side, I havenít sunk into smoking absurd amounts of weed or drinking, partially because i canít afford to, but Iíll take the positives i have
« Last Edit: August 23, 2023, 10:34:30 AM by Candied cigarettes »