Weird Stories About Pros

[pugmaster]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

[horny]

Jerry's tale about taking a bong rip with tobacco is fuckin hilarious

[Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

[close]

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me he kept his inventory in his helmet.

[Frank]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

[close]

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

[close]

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me he kept his inventory in his helmet.

pretty smart actually.

imagine && casually pulling out some bud out of his helmets venting holes.

[Easy Slider]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

[close]

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

[close]

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me he kept his inventory in his helmet.

[close]

pretty smart actually.

imagine && casually pulling out some bud out of his helmets venting holes.

At last we know why he is wearing this thing 24/7.

[sometimeperhaps]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

[close]

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

[close]

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me he kept his inventory in his helmet.

[close]

pretty smart actually.

imagine && casually pulling out some bud out of his helmets venting holes.

[close]

At last we know why he is wearing this thing 24/7.

He’s smart. If the cops ever roll up, the last person they’d suspect is the adult with the helmet on. They probably wouldn’t even question him.

[cky enthusiast]

deffo posted this before but

when i lived in nyc it was hekka common to see gonz around manhattan. i was locking my bike up to a pole to go inside this office building in soho (i was working as a bike messenger) and he was outside the building talking to some dude. it was summer and i had shorts on and he noticed my calf tattoo (it’s something he drew from a krooked ad) and just immediately stops what he’s doing to blurt out “oh man that guy has my drawing on his leg” and comes over and introduces himself. like “what’s your name? cool, i’m mark.” we chopped it up for a sec but i was working and i get the impression he was too (w/ some art stuff or supreme or whatever else he does in soho). never got to talk to him again but continued to see him bombing around on a longboard in a 70’s style pro tec constantly

[DarthDingusMaximus]

deffo posted this before but

when i lived in nyc it was hekka common to see gonz around manhattan. i was locking my bike up to a pole to go inside this office building in soho (i was working as a bike messenger) and he was outside the building talking to some dude. it was summer and i had shorts on and he noticed my calf tattoo (it’s something he drew from a krooked ad) and just immediately stops what he’s doing to blurt out “oh man that guy has my drawing on his leg” and comes over and introduces himself. like “what’s your name? cool, i’m mark.” we chopped it up for a sec but i was working and i get the impression he was too (w/ some art stuff or supreme or whatever else he does in soho). never got to talk to him again but continued to see him bombing around on a longboard in a 70’s style pro tec constantly

I remember a couple time’s we’d be skating around the city and we’d see Mark G around but we’d cool guy him because we were jerks.

[Nosferatu]

Jerry's tale about taking a bong rip with tobacco is fuckin hilarious

[Underground City]

I got a decent Muska one too...

I THINK it was 2001-ish, but me and some friends were skating an OKC staple spot just messing around on the ledges. A gold Escalade rolls up and the passenger window comes down and we hear "any good spots around here?" It was Muska, in the Muskalade. He was driving cross-country to NYC with some homies to work on his Muskabeatz album.

They posted up at a hotel somewhere and linked back up with us later, we took him to the 10-stair rails at the same spot from earlier. He did front 50, 5-0, tail slide, lip slide all in 1 or 2 tries, filmed a couple lines there with his filmer. They came back to the skate house we lived in at the time and smoked out the whole crew with some good weed. In the early 2000s there was NOT good weed everywhere, so we were blown away.

they stayed for a couple days and we took them around to a few more spots. Muska was the coolest nicest dude ever, and could do his bag of tricks pretty much every try on any rail.

They actually stopped back by on their way home from NYC and partied and skated some more and we made Muska an honorary member of our little crew. I think he was hyped, or was just really polite about it.

Oh yeah, prior to that, back in '96/'97 maybe(?), we were 17ish, my same friend from the Volcom story won a Tum Yeto Fan Club contest where they come to your house and skate with you. The crew that came to his house was Jamie Thomas, Muska, Frank Hirata, and Steve Olson. They ripped Gabe's little driveway quarter pipe set up and we were all amazed.

Nothing weird happened in any of those stories, but Muska was and is a legend. good memories.

I'm jealous as hell,  Muska damn near a god in my eyes

[radcunt]

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deffo posted this before but

when i lived in nyc it was hekka common to see gonz around manhattan. i was locking my bike up to a pole to go inside this office building in soho (i was working as a bike messenger) and he was outside the building talking to some dude. it was summer and i had shorts on and he noticed my calf tattoo (it’s something he drew from a krooked ad) and just immediately stops what he’s doing to blurt out “oh man that guy has my drawing on his leg” and comes over and introduces himself. like “what’s your name? cool, i’m mark.” we chopped it up for a sec but i was working and i get the impression he was too (w/ some art stuff or supreme or whatever else he does in soho). never got to talk to him again but continued to see him bombing around on a longboard in a 70’s style pro tec constantly

[close]

I remember a couple time’s we’d be skating around the city and we’d see Mark G around but we’d cool guy him because we were jerks.

Cool guying the dad of street skating is a heck of a move.

[Underground City]

heath standing amongst the kids unnoticed at a demo pretending hes a weird mid 30s man there by himself, when he should be skating in that demo, is the most heath shit ive ever heard/seen.


ive got some funny ones, none were too weird that i can remember.

jake used to come by the skatehouse apt i lived at all the time in 2008/09 before mindfield. he spent like 4 hours one night pitching the idea for "an indoor jetpack arena" and were all laughing then the laughing would stop and hed start right back up. "haha yeah alright guys come on im serious theres a lot of money to be made." he just needed a financial backer bc according to him jetpacks cost "about 80k by the time its all said and done" and he needed 5. that shit still makes me laugh when i think about how hard he was going to try and reel it back in and get us to just agree it was a cool idea.


free max b

Laughed out loud imagining this, thank you

[DarthDingusMaximus]

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deffo posted this before but

when i lived in nyc it was hekka common to see gonz around manhattan. i was locking my bike up to a pole to go inside this office building in soho (i was working as a bike messenger) and he was outside the building talking to some dude. it was summer and i had shorts on and he noticed my calf tattoo (it’s something he drew from a krooked ad) and just immediately stops what he’s doing to blurt out “oh man that guy has my drawing on his leg” and comes over and introduces himself. like “what’s your name? cool, i’m mark.” we chopped it up for a sec but i was working and i get the impression he was too (w/ some art stuff or supreme or whatever else he does in soho). never got to talk to him again but continued to see him bombing around on a longboard in a 70’s style pro tec constantly

[close]

I remember a couple time’s we’d be skating around the city and we’d see Mark G around but we’d cool guy him because we were jerks.

[close]

Cool guying the dad of street skating is a heck of a move.

We knew it was him and I wanted to fan out but I kept it cool.

[DaleSr]

One year i was working agenda and i went to the bathroom to rock a piss. Cyril Jackson came up to the urinal next to me with a Tecate in tow and said, "if i open this beer on my head you have to chug it". Before i could say anything he smashed it on his head with a thud. It didn't open, he walked out without saying a word and i finished taking a piss

[radcunt]

@El Fapinator Yeah, I mean I’d just turn into an absolute dork. Hats off to you!

My story is from when Natas, Gonz, Chris Miller and Gator came to Australia for an Easter tour. My 3 absolute favourite skaters and Gator. Me and my mates were beyond stoked, just seeing these guys in person was insane, like it was hard to believe they’re real, as were all 14 year old Australian kids in 1989 the and we went out to the demo which was in this big stadium on a ‘street’ course. Basically just a big box jump with a little box rail across and down it. Miller was launching off the box, gonz was absolutely ripping, Natas was Ollie-Ing and Gator was kinda  struggling.

Anyway, after the demo one of our friends ran off to get his board signed, and we all just started walking to the train slowly waiting for him. About 15 minutes later he comes hauling up the street waving his arms and was yelling something. He gets closer and he’s eye is kinda fucked up. Apparently he was chasing their van yelling at Gator to sign his board, and this kid was a belligerent lil prick and I think he was kinda jamming himself Into the van as they’re trying to drive off so Gator just clocked him on the face. He was jazzed, we were jazzed, and at the time we thought it was hilarious and the best signature he could have gotten. 

Years later I’m watching the Gator doco ‘Stoked’ and the date ‘Sydney, Australia 1989’ comes up on screen. The music changes as they’re talking about this tipping point of where it all changed for Gator after he hit a kid on tour in Australia. Its our fuckin mate! I have no idea what happened to that kid after high school, but he was a bit of a hero for a few weeks there. Little did we know that would be a key moment of turning Gator into a murderer.

Here’s the clip


Shit, and here’s the demo. Unfortunately no footage of the punch

[Pete]

Haha fuck. That is pretty beast


Free max b

[Mongey]

I was at the demo in Australia when gator punched the kid in the sticker toss.

[radcunt]

I was at the demo in Australia when gator punched the kid in the sticker toss.

You read my story above? could shed more light on it! We didn’t go with him, can you remember what happened?

[KDP]

Some of these are amazing.

The one I have to add off the top of my head was in SF in about 2002.
It was about 11pm and I was at my girls apartment on the edge of the Mission. I was kind of restless so thought I'd go for a skate to burn off some energy.
I went down to the Armoury 3 up, 3 down as we were a block away. I'd never skated there at night, but it was kinda sketchy with crack heads roaming hard.
When I get there, I can see a board lying on the steps and a dude passed out on the top step. Seems like the crack heads were homing in on him to empty his pockets. It wasn't a good place to pass out.
I wake the dude up and he is drunk and a bit confused. He's mumbling and stumbling when he walks out into the street.
A white BMW Z4 style thing screeches to a halt so as to not knock this stumbling dude down.
His immediate response is to swing his board and smash it across the bonnet of this car. The pony-tailed dude gets out of the car screaming (Understandably) and goes to the back of the car and grabs this massive chain. He comes running at us shouting about how he is going to fucking kill us.
Fuck.
The skater is shouting for me to follow him..."Quick, this way." So, we start pushing away, FAST. I follow this guy for some unknown reason. I'm not from SF, so any shortcut/knowledge of a hideaway right now is welcome.
We go a few blocks and he opens a gate for us to tuck into. i didn't realise, but it was the entrance to his apartment. He thanks me for waking him up and offers me a beer which he has inside as thanks. Zero mention of the car smashing. I am down for the beer after all this.
We go in, grab the drink and I introduce myself. He introduces himself as Tony Miorana - who at that point, I'd only kinda heard of.
We sit down and he passes out again in like 5 seconds. Literally.
I'm blocks from home, haven't skated and am definitely tired now but after all this, I'm drinking the beer whether this dude is awake or not. So I chill for 10 mins and sip away at it.
Halfway through, I just hear the door open and Jasin Phares walks in.All I know of him is that he's kinda gnarly and has that full body Misfits tattoo. He doesn't know me for shit and asks "What the fuck are you doing in my apartment drinking my beer?"

I honestly can't remember what I said in return, but I left really quickly. In all my time there, I never say either of those dudes again. The whole ordeal was a sketchy nightmare...but fuck it...got a fun story out of it.

[Rocuronium]

I'd like to add my Muska story....
I went to Slam City Jam that one major year ...1997?
The one where he crooked down the Whiterock rail holding his boombox.

Anyway, that night everyone is hanging out back downtown outside some bar including Muska. He sees a street musician/guitar busker and liked him enough that he gave him a wad of cash to follow him around to set a good vibe and for the rest of the night it was like a moving party, like his own personal movie soundtrack. Epic.

[AfterBlackEnderEnder]

Uhh, kind of a tough act to follow after that Gator in OZ story and this thread is turning into actual Slap lore but I’ll contribute:

I’ve ran into Mule (Matt Mumford) several times in the North County, SD, area over the years and quietly fanned out to myself each time. However, he seems like a very sullen and depressed individual with what seems like CTE-related mannerisms. I’ve also never seen the appeal of Queen but I quite liked that song he skated to in Dying To Live - One Vision, and I use that song as justification for the merits the band has received recently, maybe even convincing myself of those merits. At any rate, I hope Mumford is doing well and I buy Slave boards in his honor (but also Pat Burke’s). He’s taken some really gnarly slams over the years. Godspeed folks.

[Brguy]

@El FapinatorMy 3 absolute favourite skaters and Gator.

hahahahahahhaha

[DaleSr]

Uhh, kind of a tough act to follow after that Gator in OZ story and this thread is turning into actual Slap lore but I’ll contribute:

I’ve ran into Mule (Matt Mumford) several times in the North County, SD, area over the years and quietly fanned out to myself each time. However, he seems like a very sullen and depressed individual with what seems like CTE-related mannerisms. I’ve also never seen the appeal of Queen but I quite liked that song he skated to in Dying To Live - One Vision, and I use that song as justification for the merits the band has received recently, maybe even convincing myself of those merits. At any rate, I hope Mumford is doing well and I buy Slave boards in his honor (but also Pat Burke’s). He’s taken some really gnarly slams over the years. Godspeed folks.

North County represent

[Icandoflamingoes]

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Jordan hoffart crashed into me when I was pretty new to skating, and then gave me a used powell board. I didnt recognize him, and said something about the deck being a hoffart model, he introduced himself we chatted. Also bought weed from and smoked with Andy Anderson before he was on powell.

[close]

The mental picture of && slanging weed makes me smile.

[close]

I remember those days. He would always wear latex gloves when he was slanging.

[close]

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me he kept his inventory in his helmet.

[close]

pretty smart actually.

imagine && casually pulling out some bud out of his helmets venting holes.

[close]

At last we know why he is wearing this thing 24/7.

[close]

He’s smart. If the cops ever roll up, the last person they’d suspect is the adult with the helmet on. They probably wouldn’t even question him.

It’s smartest life long con ever pulled.

[Watson]

In a previous life I worked managing a big chain mall skate store. Super wack job, but I was younger and just wanted to be in skateboarding. (Also gave me lots of skills that helped me improve my local when I moved over to start working there.) In any case, that job led to lots of weird pro skater encounters including going out for a nice dinner with the Darkstar team, including Adam Dyet.

Having a fancy dinner with Adam Dyet was a trip in itself. But also he was chugging red wine so hard and after the supper his teeth were red as fuck from all the wine and then outside of the restaurant he got a call on his cell phone and shortly after answering it, he started getting really heated. We all stood there waiting for a cab as he yelled with red teeth at his (now ex) girlfriend "ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME WHILE I'M ON TOUR?! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

He got thrown in the drunk tank that night and someone had to go get him from the police station the next morning and he was late for the demo.

[coldbrew]

I went to Slam City Jam that one major year ...1997?
The one where he crooked down the Whiterock rail holding his boombox.

Anyway, that night everyone is hanging out back downtown outside some bar including Muska. He sees a street musician/guitar busker and liked him enough that he gave him a wad of cash to follow him around to set a good vibe and for the rest of the night it was like a moving party, like his own personal movie soundtrack. Epic.

All these muska stories make me love him even more than I already did. Amazing.

[TheBoognish]

Uhh, kind of a tough act to follow after that Gator in OZ story and this thread is turning into actual Slap lore but I’ll contribute:

I’ve ran into Mule (Matt Mumford) several times in the North County, SD, area over the years and quietly fanned out to myself each time. However, he seems like a very sullen and depressed individual with what seems like CTE-related mannerisms. I’ve also never seen the appeal of Queen but I quite liked that song he skated to in Dying To Live - One Vision, and I use that song as justification for the merits the band has received recently, maybe even convincing myself of those merits. At any rate, I hope Mumford is doing well and I buy Slave boards in his honor (but also Pat Burke’s). He’s taken some really gnarly slams over the years. Godspeed folks.

Mumford is quite something. I lived on the Gold Coast of Australia for a few months in ‘10 and skated Pizzey Park almost daily.  I witnessed him tear the Pizzey Death Bowl a new asshole after downing a 6-pack of tall boys in about 20 minutes more than once. Hands down the loudest grinds and carves I’ve ever heard, Mumford fucking RIPS. I was scared shitless to just drop in the damn thing.

I saw him from time to time over the span of about a month and shared a few beers with him, he was real cool with me. Slave was just starting at the time and he gave me one of his boards, it was way too wide for me and my 139’s but I still skated it because I was broke.

[Spunkchild]

the only thing that even comes close to some of the stuff in this thread is a completely hammmmmmmered Dill telling completely out of my mind on acid me "you fuckin got it kid" outside of a San Francisco supermarket after a hallucinogenic fueled kickflip.

He was wearing a leopard supreme jacket and leopard gucci lamb slippers. got the premium wines in a tote bag.

The supreme team was also in town at the time with Bill, Dill was simply kicking it.

[replaceable kingpin]

When I was like 17 my buddy rented out SPOT after hours for his birthday. We were chugging beers and skating and this van rolled up with a workshop sticker on it. Then we were skating with the entire habitat and alien dudes all night long. Dill was killing it, it was so insane to skate with that crew when habitat was just starting. We already had beer and weed flowing before this magic moment, none of us knew they were going to show up it was so fucking insane.

[notmikerusczyk]

jake used to come by the skatehouse apt i lived at all the time in 2008/09 before mindfield. he spent like 4 hours one night pitching the idea for "an indoor jetpack arena" and were all laughing then the laughing would stop and hed start right back up. "haha yeah alright guys come on im serious theres a lot of money to be made." he just needed a financial backer bc according to him jetpacks cost "about 80k by the time its all said and done" and he needed 5. that shit still makes me laugh when i think about how hard he was going to try and reel it back in and get us to just agree it was a cool idea.


free max b

ran into jake at a spot in LA. there was a pole there and jammed into the hole at the top of the pole was a skateboard wheel. he kept jokingly talking about how the pole/wheel is the same as the "sword in the stone", and whoever can pull it out will have immense skate abilities or something like that. it was simultaneously awkward and incredible lmao. was a super nice and approachable dude