Weird Stories About Pros

[Lethatefillyourheart]

Must’ve been around 2004, habitat/aws/seek demo hosted by Pitcrew. The tour was to promote mosaic. Greg Meyers was on the trip with a few other seek riders. I guess someone thought it would be funny to steal Greg’s board. I’ll never forget seeing him profusely ugly crying and having a temper tantrum about the ordeal. All my 14 year old self could think was why is this whiney dude crying and screaming about a board when he gets all this shit for free. He must’ve been 15 or 16.

[scab]

I have a few pro skater stories but here's one.

Neckface was having a book signing in Brooklyn of his last book, Dead Skin. It took place in a small shop that was basically just a huge line of people. You enter the shop, wait in line, get to the counter to buy a book, then turn around and wait in another line returning to the front of the store, where Neckface was sitting and signing books.

I had a backpack full of roman candles and my plan was to challenge Neckface to an old fashioned duel in the street. I waited in line for at least an hour, got the the front counter, and found out the books were $200 a piece. The price was not expressed before, so it was a do-or-don't moment. I was poor as shit at the time and my priorities were elsewhere and could not justify spending $200 on a book.

Neckface was at the back of the store just wasted off his fucking ass. He had a bottle of Jack, was taking pulls and have to say, he looked like shit.

After not buying the book, I walked up near him and was about to ask him to have a firework war. But then I kinda got a grip of myself and realized that I don't think I like Neckface anymore. Dude was so fucked up, could hardly control himself and to be honest, I wasn't as crazy about his art as I had been in the past. It seemed to be turning into some kind of Sunday Newspaper Comic aesthetic with watercolors and I just wasn't digging his direction anymore.

Anyways I chickened out asking him to partake in the firework war. Honestly because I was honestly kinda grossed out by the dude. It really was a bad look, like he couldn't just hang out and interact with his fans like a normal person.

Glad he's sober now, but I still don't really like his artwork these days. I realized later that day I should have bought the book for $200 and sold it online for $400 or something.

Was a dumb day in all. Was disappointed to "meet" someone I thought would be a cool dude in real life.

Is he really? I've got a hearty dislike for this dude and usually try to stay away from whatever he does, but I read the latest article he "wrote" for the March issue of Thrasher, and he talked about how badass beer, booze, and hangovers are for damn near half the article. Would be an interesting way to go about sobriety.

[Wienerboy]

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I have a few pro skater stories but here's one.

Neckface was having a book signing in Brooklyn of his last book, Dead Skin. It took place in a small shop that was basically just a huge line of people. You enter the shop, wait in line, get to the counter to buy a book, then turn around and wait in another line returning to the front of the store, where Neckface was sitting and signing books.

I had a backpack full of roman candles and my plan was to challenge Neckface to an old fashioned duel in the street. I waited in line for at least an hour, got the the front counter, and found out the books were $200 a piece. The price was not expressed before, so it was a do-or-don't moment. I was poor as shit at the time and my priorities were elsewhere and could not justify spending $200 on a book.

Neckface was at the back of the store just wasted off his fucking ass. He had a bottle of Jack, was taking pulls and have to say, he looked like shit.

After not buying the book, I walked up near him and was about to ask him to have a firework war. But then I kinda got a grip of myself and realized that I don't think I like Neckface anymore. Dude was so fucked up, could hardly control himself and to be honest, I wasn't as crazy about his art as I had been in the past. It seemed to be turning into some kind of Sunday Newspaper Comic aesthetic with watercolors and I just wasn't digging his direction anymore.

Anyways I chickened out asking him to partake in the firework war. Honestly because I was honestly kinda grossed out by the dude. It really was a bad look, like he couldn't just hang out and interact with his fans like a normal person.

Glad he's sober now, but I still don't really like his artwork these days. I realized later that day I should have bought the book for $200 and sold it online for $400 or something.

Was a dumb day in all. Was disappointed to "meet" someone I thought would be a cool dude in real life.

[close]

Is he really? I've got a hearty dislike for this dude and usually try to stay away from whatever he does, but I read the latest article he "wrote" for the March issue of Thrasher, and he talked about how badass beer, booze, and hangovers are for damn near half the article. Would be an interesting way to go about sobriety.

Oh okay, yeah you could be right. For some reason I thought he was trying it or something. Maybe I assumed because of his close proximity to Spanky and the rest of the now-sober Baker crew.

[work_lurker]

About 12 years ago I cool-guyed Joey Brezinski at 3rd and army on accident. He tried saying bye to me like 3 times and somehow I missed em all. My friends were joking that I made him cry, but I often wonder if they were really joking.

[Carrolls Chesthairs]

About 12 years ago I cool-guyed Joey Brezinski at 3rd and army on accident. He tried saying bye to me like 3 times and somehow I missed em all. My friends were joking that I made him cry, but I often wonder if they were really joking.

Following up with another Joey B story.

He was in town at the skateshop on some dwindle trip when cliche was still around.
He bought breakfast from the coffee shop, realized that the whole team was going out to breakfast somewhere, then asked if I wanted the sandwich.

I obliged. Shoutout to Bucky for that 1.

[GuessAgain?]

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Skateboarding was at an all time low around 1994, th after the era after the big vert contests and before the first X-Games.

I was at a Birdhouse demo in a parking garage (it was raining), at most 20 people showed up to see Willy Santos, Ocean Howell and Tony Hawk skate one small obstacle. Tony did his best, tre flips on flat and kickflips and heelflips over the hip.

Thinking back it's almost surreal. Almost a private demo from the Birdman.

[close]

Saw this same lineup, almost certainly the same tour. They skated in a high school parking lot which had a crusty old bank, with like 20-40 people there watching. I remember lots of parents parked in their cars on the street waiting for it to be over. The whole thing was obviously unauthorized.

[close]

Must have been. Parking garage was unauthorized too. "Ok it's raining, let's move the obstacle in a random garage."

Tony was trying so hard to please the "crowd", it was hard to believe this was the same guy who did 540 ollies and 720s in super slowmo in those overproduced Powell video.

Honestly it's no wonder he's as successful as he is. That shit's a real testament to his character. Being in a bit of a funk in my mid 20s right now and to see Birdman was showing up to do unauthorised demos in the rain, up and down the country while barely anyone attended... Dude really is cut from a different cloth - it'd be so easy to call it off or half ass it and only like 20 people would even know.

[ChipSuey]

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Skateboarding was at an all time low around 1994, th after the era after the big vert contests and before the first X-Games.

I was at a Birdhouse demo in a parking garage (it was raining), at most 20 people showed up to see Willy Santos, Ocean Howell and Tony Hawk skate one small obstacle. Tony did his best, tre flips on flat and kickflips and heelflips over the hip.

Thinking back it's almost surreal. Almost a private demo from the Birdman.

[close]

Saw this same lineup, almost certainly the same tour. They skated in a high school parking lot which had a crusty old bank, with like 20-40 people there watching. I remember lots of parents parked in their cars on the street waiting for it to be over. The whole thing was obviously unauthorized.

[close]

Must have been. Parking garage was unauthorized too. "Ok it's raining, let's move the obstacle in a random garage."

Tony was trying so hard to please the "crowd", it was hard to believe this was the same guy who did 540 ollies and 720s in super slowmo in those overproduced Powell video.

[close]

Honestly it's no wonder he's as successful as he is. That shit's a real testament to his character. Being in a bit of a funk in my mid 20s right now and to see Birdman was showing up to do unauthorised demos in the rain, up and down the country while barely anyone attended... Dude really is cut from a different cloth - it'd be so easy to call it off or half ass it and only like 20 people would even know.

Those mid-90's demos were wild - I remember skating in a shitty little parking garage with Cab and Lance Conklin and a few other Powell riders when they rolled through for a demo and it was raining.  It was literally just a flatground session with a couple little parking blocks.  I remember being amazed that Cab was so short, I was a shrimpy little 15 year old and was shocked.

Another time Ron Allen and John Reeves came through during the Fun days and we skated around Philly all day, just two pros with a bunch of kids in tow.  Good times.

[KGB]

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Skateboarding was at an all time low around 1994, th after the era after the big vert contests and before the first X-Games.

I was at a Birdhouse demo in a parking garage (it was raining), at most 20 people showed up to see Willy Santos, Ocean Howell and Tony Hawk skate one small obstacle. Tony did his best, tre flips on flat and kickflips and heelflips over the hip.

Thinking back it's almost surreal. Almost a private demo from the Birdman.

[close]

Saw this same lineup, almost certainly the same tour. They skated in a high school parking lot which had a crusty old bank, with like 20-40 people there watching. I remember lots of parents parked in their cars on the street waiting for it to be over. The whole thing was obviously unauthorized.

[close]

Must have been. Parking garage was unauthorized too. "Ok it's raining, let's move the obstacle in a random garage."

Tony was trying so hard to please the "crowd", it was hard to believe this was the same guy who did 540 ollies and 720s in super slowmo in those overproduced Powell video.

[close]

Honestly it's no wonder he's as successful as he is. That shit's a real testament to his character. Being in a bit of a funk in my mid 20s right now and to see Birdman was showing up to do unauthorised demos in the rain, up and down the country while barely anyone attended... Dude really is cut from a different cloth - it'd be so easy to call it off or half ass it and only like 20 people would even know.

[close]

Those mid-90's demos were wild - I remember skating in a shitty little parking garage with Cab and Lance Conklin and a few other Powell riders when they rolled through for a demo and it was raining.  It was literally just a flatground session with a couple little parking blocks.  I remember being amazed that Cab was so short, I was a shrimpy little 15 year old and was shocked.

Another time Ron Allen and John Reeves came through during the Fun days and we skated around Philly all day, just two pros with a bunch of kids in tow.  Good times.

I saw the same pretty much in Gettysburg at a shop demo. It was half the Bones Brigade, I know Tony,Cab and Lance were there and some others. They were supposed to go street skate with all of us around town and at the College, but do to the high bust factor they ended up skating a 4” metal lipped curb at a gas station for the whole demo. It was pretty wild to see those dudes shred a curb.

[manysnakes]

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Skateboarding was at an all time low around 1994, th after the era after the big vert contests and before the first X-Games.

I was at a Birdhouse demo in a parking garage (it was raining), at most 20 people showed up to see Willy Santos, Ocean Howell and Tony Hawk skate one small obstacle. Tony did his best, tre flips on flat and kickflips and heelflips over the hip.

Thinking back it's almost surreal. Almost a private demo from the Birdman.

[close]

Saw this same lineup, almost certainly the same tour. They skated in a high school parking lot which had a crusty old bank, with like 20-40 people there watching. I remember lots of parents parked in their cars on the street waiting for it to be over. The whole thing was obviously unauthorized.

[close]

Must have been. Parking garage was unauthorized too. "Ok it's raining, let's move the obstacle in a random garage."

Tony was trying so hard to please the "crowd", it was hard to believe this was the same guy who did 540 ollies and 720s in super slowmo in those overproduced Powell video.

[close]

Honestly it's no wonder he's as successful as he is. That shit's a real testament to his character. Being in a bit of a funk in my mid 20s right now and to see Birdman was showing up to do unauthorised demos in the rain, up and down the country while barely anyone attended... Dude really is cut from a different cloth - it'd be so easy to call it off or half ass it and only like 20 people would even know.

He definitely couldn't quit it. There was a time where he nearly followed Stacy Peralta into a career in television and film editing and production, and I think it's interesting to consider what kind of career Hawk would have had if he had made that big change in the early 90s.

[BluffsideTank]

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I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.

I got pissed randomly at a pub with Naverette - we both laughed at Al Parts getting the boot for being a pest.

It was taken from these boards, but it's a joke. I saw it somewhere randomly on Reddit attributed to someone totally different (not even skate related, if I remember correctly). The OG story is about Heath.

[changed1]

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I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.

I got pissed randomly at a pub with Naverette - we both laughed at Al Parts getting the boot for being a pest.

[close]

It was taken from these boards, but it's a joke. I saw it somewhere randomly on Reddit attributed to someone totally different (not even skate related, if I remember correctly). The OG story is about Heath.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-saw-flying-lotus-in-a-grocery-store-copypasta
The earliest known use was for flying lotus

[manysnakes]

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I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.

I got pissed randomly at a pub with Naverette - we both laughed at Al Parts getting the boot for being a pest.

[close]

It was taken from these boards, but it's a joke. I saw it somewhere randomly on Reddit attributed to someone totally different (not even skate related, if I remember correctly). The OG story is about Heath.

It's one of the earliest "copypastas", and most certainly did not originate with Heath.

[Jawn Gyatti]

One time, Tony Hawk came up to me at Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me in the eyes and said "Nobody's ever going to believe you." I really wanted that fry....

[bigbevev]

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I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.

I got pissed randomly at a pub with Naverette - we both laughed at Al Parts getting the boot for being a pest.

[close]

It was taken from these boards, but it's a joke. I saw it somewhere randomly on Reddit attributed to someone totally different (not even skate related, if I remember correctly). The OG story is about Heath.

[close]

It's one of the earliest "copypastas", and most certainly did not originate with Heath.

I think it was some rapper or producer

[sometimeperhaps]

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In 2000 just before Enjoi started the then team came to our skatepark. Jerry just sat there stoned and my friend asked if he was going to call his pro shoe the Hsu-shi. Now, Jerry is Chinese and sushi is not Chinese but we were 14 and my friend didn't realize that he kinda said something racist he just thought the play on words was funny. You could see Jerry actually think this over and come to the conclusion that my friend was just a dumb 14 year old that was accidentally racist and he smiled and laughed and said "man, that would be amazing!" And gave us some Enjoi stickers. What a nice guy.

[close]

Jerry is great.

Confirming Jerry is the best. Met him last summer and
He couldn’t have been nicer with his time. Even confirmed the spelling of my name before signing a copy of his book I brought.

[somethingmustbreaknow]

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I saw Eric Koston at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[close]

You 100% stole this story - possibly from these boards themselves, I’m certain I’ve read this here.
I got pissed randomly at a pub with Naverette - we both laughed at Al Parts getting the boot for being a pest.

[close]

It was taken from these boards, but it's a joke. I saw it somewhere randomly on Reddit attributed to someone totally different (not even skate related, if I remember correctly). The OG story is about Heath.

[close]

It's one of the earliest "copypastas", and most certainly did not originate with Heath.

[close]

I think it was some rapper or producer

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-saw-flying-lotus-in-a-grocery-store-copypasta

originated in 2012 with flying lotus. old as

[adumb]

Heavy party days, I was going into the women's room at the local dive club with a female friend to do some extra-curricalars, or PEDS as some may call them. Went to close the door and a hand grabs from the other side and pushed it open. In comes a pretty lit Chet Childress. We hadnt invited him in, but did a shot with him earlier and I believe he "sniffed out" what we were up to.

"YA GOT COKE?!" Mr. Childress screams in an inquisitive yet demanding way.

"Uh yeah, of course," I reply.

"Lemme get a bump!" he re-torts, and who am I to tell him no?!

So I gives the guy a pretty decent blaster in both nose-holes.

Chet then begins to tell us about art, skating tranny, tells my friend the secret to dropping in and then takes a piss in the sink and dips out.

Didnt see him again for the rest of the night, or ever for that matter.

FIN

[elbarto]

Heavy party days, I was going into the women's room at the local dive club with a female friend to do some extra-curricalars, or PEDS as some may call them. Went to close the door and a hand grabs from the other side and pushed it open. In comes a pretty lit Chet Childress. We hadnt invited him in, but did a shot with him earlier and I believe he "sniffed out" what we were up to.

"YA GOT COKE?!" Mr. Childress screams in an inquisitive yet demanding way.

"Uh yeah, of course," I reply.

"Lemme get a bump!" he re-torts, and who am I to tell him no?!

So I gives the guy a pretty decent blaster in both nose-holes.

Chet then begins to tell us about art, skating tranny, tells my friend the secret to dropping in and then takes a piss in the sink and dips out.

Didnt see him again for the rest of the night, or ever for that matter.

FIN

I used to run into Chet a lot growing up and he was always the nicest dude lol. More than once he’d be riding his bike around and stop to chat with me and my friends skating a schoolyard or something. He definitely always seemed a little under the influence but always a good time with Chet.