Those past few months after I broke up with my ex I had really been letting myself go and neglecting my place, I guess I was too busy with work, paperwork, and then just smoking and skating to try to get my mind off everything that I just stopped cleaning up after myself for a while and my apartment was trying to turn into some hoarder's shit (coincidentally I had just helped my mother move into her new house too, and got dozens of boxes of stuff from my childhood back, which I just left laying around, that didn't help with the looks). I was aware of my environment starting to look like shit but I think I was in a mental state where I was stuck, thought I still controlled everything but in reality it was all only giving me more and more anxiety that was creeping in, like shit I'll have to take care of around the house later that I'd just keep stacking in the back of my mind due to complete lack of energy and drive. Anyway yesterday a chick texted me she was in town and would be down to hang out tonight, instantly something just clicked and I spent five hours doing everything around the house I possibly could. Now my shit finally is impeccable again and all my anxiety is gone, I feel super liberated and somehow like I'm starting something anew, like I was just digesting the end of my relationship that whole time.
Not stoked on how I guess I did let myself slip a little for a while and mostly just seeing how much of a dark place I found myself in to the point where I just couldn't see myself do even elementary, fundamental mundane tasks. And on how I still need to do the fucking dishes, but a lot of it are items that used to belong to my ex which I think is why I was postponing touching them, in reality I'm just tempted to throw everything away and buy new dishes at this point.
It's all so stupid but I feel like looking like a mark on SLAP will motivate me to keep kicking myself in the ass and going.
Topic: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On (Read 847278 times)