crazy/dumb things you did in childhood/teenage years

[mj23]

One time in 9th grade I was dying to take a piss at the end of the school day but for some reason all the toilets were locked so I had to hold it. Then walking home I thought I was gonna piss myself so I just took my dick out and pissed while I was walking for like ten minutes.

Did it get all over your pants?
Why not just stop walking?

[sacking rails]

youve never piss walked before clearly its a different kind of freeing try it sometime

[Mean salto]

Expand Quote

One time in 9th grade I was dying to take a piss at the end of the school day but for some reason all the toilets were locked so I had to hold it. Then walking home I thought I was gonna piss myself so I just took my dick out and pissed while I was walking for like ten minutes.

[close]

Did it get all over your pants?
Why not just stop walking?

No I didn't get it all over my pants altho there may have been some off spray but I can't remember. And not stop walking because I would then just be standing in the middle of the street pissing. The first maybe km of the walk was just down normal suburban streets and there's all the other kids walking home etc

[EdLawndale]

There was nowhere for you to post up?

[Mark Renton]

Crossed a border with lot of weed stashed in my friends car doors.

Would never do that shit again but it felt like jumping down El Toro even if I’ve never done that.

[Ricky Vaughn]

all throughout my childhood years the neighborhood kids and i would spend days just playing tag.
anyway, one particular day we were playing  and we were trespassing into all the nearby apartment buildings, i started to get the feeling that i would have to take a dumpp soon..but i didn't wanna go back home to take care of business, caught up in the game  ya..anyway i wonder off into the laundry room of an apartment building.
i noticed this rag on the floor and decided to take a shit there..i didn't even hesitate really, just got straight to it...afterwards, this urge comes over me to smear my remains all over the wall,,and once again, i didn't hesitate to..later, after all is said and done i show my friends what i had done and simultaneously one of the tenants happens to be dropping by..this woman, an old woman, walks in...horrified ..screaming and making threats to call the police
..for some reason i thought i would have to take a lie detector test, and for the first time within the whole situation i felt, well...bad.

anyway thats that, i must've been about 10/11 years old and i had no shame

Legend

[aiden]

not me, but kids that vape in high school are wack as fuck

[Pbn_jake]

I would drink 3-4 beers before I got to the sesh and then would struggle to do basic tricks, probably drink 3-4 more as celebratory beers whenever I did said basic tricks. Swore I was crushing it. Skating and smoking was super cool at that time too. So that .

[mooraga]

I was like 5 playing in those mall pools full of plastic balls with different colors and wanted to piss, but didn't wanted to stop playing... so I pissed myself and kept playing till minutes later mom found out 

[modern life is war]

My little brother and I grew up in the bush and when we were bored we would just go out and try to blow things up. One day we had an empty aluminum bottle so we filled it halfway with petrol and I remember we were crouched over it, trying to drop matches into it so it would light on fire but the matches wouldn't stay alight. I still don't even know why they didn't stay alight but if it had worked we probably would have literally burnt off our faces.

[JB]

We used to do this shit we called skunking. We'd tie a stuffed animal to a fishing line, put it on one side of the road, then hide on the other and reel it in when cars drove by. It probably started with a skunk, but we evolved into using the most ridiculous animals we could find. I remember one night we were using an orange alligator and this guy in a drop top jeep slammed on his breaks, looked at it for a minute and said "what the fuck is that?" We all started cracking up, blowing our cover. He got out and ran towards us, but we all took off in different directions. We left the rig behind, which was one of my dad's poles and the Jeep guy took it. My dad was a bit bummed I lost the rod, but he did even stupider shit as a kid and when I told him what happened, he wasn't even mad.

Thankfully we never caused any accidents, but I still think it was mostly innocent fun. It was hilarious if you'd manage to get the car to hit the animal, then lock up the breaks. Sometimes whatever we were using would get sent flying and we'd have retie it a bunch of times. Getting chased was a big part of it, and we never got caught, just lost the rig that one time.

[thanksgiving]

nothing beats these 00s/early 2010 slap threads because u know most of it is true hahahahah


my friends and i got drunk one time and hit golfballs off this mountain/hill thing onto the neighborhood below. stupid as fuck

[aleksander]

At about 8 I intentionally started talking with a stutter because it would bother my little sister and I thought it was funny. Then I couldn't make it stop and it took like a month to be able to talk normal again.

At 12 I started getting peach fuzz sideburns so took a lighter and burned them off because I didn't know how to shave. Sideburns never came back so now I can have a full beard but no sideburns.

[Mean salto]

At about 8 I intentionally started talking with a stutter because it would bother my little sister and I thought it was funny. Then I couldn't make it stop and it took like a month to be able to talk normal again.

At 12 I started getting peach fuzz sideburns so took a lighter and burned them off because I didn't know how to shave. Sideburns never came back so now I can have a full beard but no sideburns.

Ah another member of the zef group. I didn't set my face on fire but also have a weird one inch gap between head hair and beard hair. I think mine may be caused by being lazy and not shaving the sideburns part for like all of highschool lol

[doublesteveburger]

When I was about 4 years old, my best friend and I climbed a tree and chucked a cinder block onto the back windshield of a neighbor's car. I have no clue how we got a cinder block up there given that we were both fucking 4 years old. The windshield obviously shattered and we ran away. We lived in a trailer park so we didn't run TOO far... I received a well deserved ass whooping.

[Beeda Weeda]

I was fucking around with some firecrackers and lit a small brush fire near my house, i was 9-10

[Mr. Kamikazi]

Tell my friend to drive his mother's car faster on a back road. Well he did just that & flew around a turn, overcompensated the turn & hit a bank which flipped the car. I just remember being upside down & smelling blood & heat. I felt fine & when I went to crawl out, I noticed that I had blood on my pants. I looked at my right hand & my middle, ring & pinkie finger were completely lacerated & I could completely see the bones. No pain as I just stood there & asked my friend if "this was bad". Once the ambulance came, I was on morphine & just relaxed. The worse was seeing my parents & begging them not to look at my hand as it was really bad


 Long story short, I got surgery, two post surgeries & did not have to have my fingers amputated as that was on the table. I just can't bend my finger tips on my right hand. Still have full function & can drum which I played my first show with two pins in my fingers to keep them straight.


Longs story short, wear your seatbelt as that day I did & I was still in the weird phase where sometimes I wouldn't. I can tell you for a fact that if I were not on this day, I would be dead.

[Chavo]

As luck would have it, my teenage years coincided with the height of gangs and violent crime.

One night I skated to 7-11 late at night. I rounded the corner from my street and saw a bunch of cholos already running down the street. They weren't really looking at me and had already been there before I rounded the corner, just thought they were going for a nightly ese jog to keep in shape. It seemed odd, but didn't feel threatening. Suddenly, I feel a blunt object hit the back of my head and woke up to blurry Nike Cortez classics scurrying in the distance. Some concerned citizens came out but quickly shut the door when they saw me so I had to crawl back to my house a few block away where my dad very reluctantly drove me to the ER.

Turns out, it was somewhat of a "hit". The dumb aspect is not booking it when you see a street full of gangbangers.

[Tom Pearl]

We used to do this shit we called skunking. We'd tie a stuffed animal to a fishing line, put it on one side of the road, then hide on the other and reel it in when cars drove by. It probably started with a skunk, but we evolved into using the most ridiculous animals we could find. I remember one night we were using an orange alligator and this guy in a drop top jeep slammed on his breaks, looked at it for a minute and said "what the fuck is that?" We all started cracking up, blowing our cover. He got out and ran towards us, but we all took off in different directions. We left the rig behind, which was one of my dad's poles and the Jeep guy took it. My dad was a bit bummed I lost the rod, but he did even stupider shit as a kid and when I told him what happened, he wasn't even mad.

Thankfully we never caused any accidents, but I still think it was mostly innocent fun. It was hilarious if you'd manage to get the car to hit the animal, then lock up the breaks. Sometimes whatever we were using would get sent flying and we'd have retie it a bunch of times. Getting chased was a big part of it, and we never got caught, just lost the rig that one time.

i lived on a more rural road and me and my frieds would do this shit we called a road block and we'd just put all kinds of stupid shit in the road and people had to waste their time moving it, sometimes they'd hit it tho and fuck their car up. we did it all the time, thought it was hilarious 

[BackToTheDIY]

Long time lurker, been reading yall for like 15 damn years, stoked to be posting.
This thread rules.

When I was 17 , me and my girl was drunk at a party in the woods back in Indiana , and she let me whip her car on some quad trails.
Totally smoked the whip, she was having fun so we kept going . Totally wrecked the piss out the car.
Drove it to her house the next day , her dad saw it and pulled out the shotgun.
I bounced with the quickness.
Too many tales from growing up in southern Indiana / Ohio

[Skibb]

One time I was buying groceries and I was farting and it smelled really bad so I figured I had to poop and went into the bathroom. I sat down but almost fainted becaise the farts were so stinky (smelled like cat food and onions). I prepared myself to crack the bowl in half purely based off smell alone, this was going to be some major destruction. I let loose and feel my bowels fully empty (half in pain half relieving) and the smell that followed can't be explained. I can try though. It was like a mixture of the cat food onion smell mixed with pizza that had been sitting out for a week with hot sauce poured on it that was lit on fire and extinguished with vinegar. Lastly, I get up to look at what  i've just expelled out of my asshole (everyone does that right?) and chuckle. I reach over while looking at my creation to grab some tp from the little metal box on the wall only to imediately start panicking. That's right. Public toilet massacre and they didn't replace the tp. So there I am just standing there with my south pole pants around my ankles with poop all over my asshole wondering what the fuck i'm gonna do. I get the bright idea to take off my underwear and use them as a wiping substitute, great works fine. Then, I decide im going to flush them so i flush the poop first because there was just so much of it. As soon as I flush I see the water level rising and start freaking the fuck out. Mind you my pants are at my ankles still. I hurry up and wipe the best I could and throw the underwear in the overflowing toilet hoping it would stop while i'm trying to pull my pants up. Shit water starts fucking pouring out all over the floor as i'm backing up towards the door tightening up my belt thinking "god damn what the fuck have I done?". I bust open the door and everyone is looking at me. They know. I don't know if they smelled the farts/poop or if they could tell by the look in my eyes. Neither. It's the shit water flood pouring out from underneath the bathroom door behind me. As I'm speedwalking towards the exit I hear an employee scream and then I turn around as I'm walking out the door only to see they opened the bathroom door and my underwear are floating down the shit water river like some kind of poop stained noahs ark. Never eating a chocolate milkshake and spaghetti before shopping again.

[69woodpusher69]

i dont have shit going on so lets just go down memory lane - i grew up in a shitty ass town next to a shitty ass town next to a huge college football town

fill trash bins with food waste, water and motor oil and lean it against someones door at like 3 am and ring the doorbell, they open the door and their house is flooded with 55gals of waste

i worked at a building supply store and i would steal boxes of 1/4" nuts and we would zing em at cars coming the opposite direction

stole milk jugs from the grocery and would throw em at 18 wheelers when they were coming the opposite direction

we would get a cinderblock and put it in a walmart bag and set it on the highway and watch cars thinking they were going to hit a plastic bag and just get FUCKED UP - one time this drywall guys ladder flew off his van

we would go to goodwill and offer to buy all the stuff animals for like 20 bucks then we would tie them to a fishing pole and drag them across the highway and make people try not to hit a dog or something lmao - one time we did it and a ford expedition rear ended a BMW 3 series

i lit 12 bottle rockets in the hall at school during school time

we flushed quick crete down the toilets

one time we were fuckin shit faced when i was like 17 and we were in this dive bar and me and my buddy wanted to be the CKY crew so bad, we literally tore down the walls seperating the toilet from the urinal, cops got us there

this kid we knew was an asshole and his parents owned a cemetary, we would find funeral programs brochure things in his truck and call the family and tell them we accidentally put the coffin in upside down or we accidentally burned them in the cremator or whatever.

i worked at a sporting good store that sold pellet rifles on this highway in my town and we would load the pellet rifles up and shoot cars on the highway from the door at the sporting good place. i probably shot like 500-700 cars lmao

one time we sold this kid a parsely joint and he tried to smoke it in this field we were in on atv's and obv that shit went up like a wildfire cause it was dry ass parsely. he coughed, dropped it and probably like 120-150 acres caught fire. was regional news, never got caught.

found a credit card on the ground at college and went to gamestop and bought 5 Sony PSP and then pawned em all except for one.

my parents probably should have paid more attention to me

man i could go on and on with this shit, luckily by the time i was about 22 i stopped doing all this ridiculous shit. i am pushing 40 now and thank god every day we didnt have phones/social media

[LUGR]

i dont have shit going on so lets just go down memory lane - i grew up in a shitty ass town next to a shitty ass town next to a huge college football town

fill trash bins with food waste, water and motor oil and lean it against someones door at like 3 am and ring the doorbell, they open the door and their house is flooded with 55gals of waste

i worked at a building supply store and i would steal boxes of 1/4" nuts and we would zing em at cars coming the opposite direction

stole milk jugs from the grocery and would throw em at 18 wheelers when they were coming the opposite direction

we would get a cinderblock and put it in a walmart bag and set it on the highway and watch cars thinking they were going to hit a plastic bag and just get FUCKED UP - one time this drywall guys ladder flew off his van

we would go to goodwill and offer to buy all the stuff animals for like 20 bucks then we would tie them to a fishing pole and drag them across the highway and make people try not to hit a dog or something lmao - one time we did it and a ford expedition rear ended a BMW 3 series

i lit 12 bottle rockets in the hall at school during school time

we flushed quick crete down the toilets

one time we were fuckin shit faced when i was like 17 and we were in this dive bar and me and my buddy wanted to be the CKY crew so bad, we literally tore down the walls seperating the toilet from the urinal, cops got us there

this kid we knew was an asshole and his parents owned a cemetary, we would find funeral programs brochure things in his truck and call the family and tell them we accidentally put the coffin in upside down or we accidentally burned them in the cremator or whatever.

i worked at a sporting good store that sold pellet rifles on this highway in my town and we would load the pellet rifles up and shoot cars on the highway from the door at the sporting good place. i probably shot like 500-700 cars lmao

one time we sold this kid a parsely joint and he tried to smoke it in this field we were in on atv's and obv that shit went up like a wildfire cause it was dry ass parsely. he coughed, dropped it and probably like 120-150 acres caught fire. was regional news, never got caught.

found a credit card on the ground at college and went to gamestop and bought 5 Sony PSP and then pawned em all except for one.

my parents probably should have paid more attention to me

man i could go on and on with this shit, luckily by the time i was about 22 i stopped doing all this ridiculous shit. i am pushing 40 now and thank god every day we didnt have phones/social media

Dude….you were a straight up menace to society.

[thanksgiving]

i dont have shit going on so lets just go down memory lane - i grew up in a shitty ass town next to a shitty ass town next to a huge college football town

fill trash bins with food waste, water and motor oil and lean it against someones door at like 3 am and ring the doorbell, they open the door and their house is flooded with 55gals of waste

i worked at a building supply store and i would steal boxes of 1/4" nuts and we would zing em at cars coming the opposite direction

stole milk jugs from the grocery and would throw em at 18 wheelers when they were coming the opposite direction

we would get a cinderblock and put it in a walmart bag and set it on the highway and watch cars thinking they were going to hit a plastic bag and just get FUCKED UP - one time this drywall guys ladder flew off his van

we would go to goodwill and offer to buy all the stuff animals for like 20 bucks then we would tie them to a fishing pole and drag them across the highway and make people try not to hit a dog or something lmao - one time we did it and a ford expedition rear ended a BMW 3 series

i lit 12 bottle rockets in the hall at school during school time

we flushed quick crete down the toilets

one time we were fuckin shit faced when i was like 17 and we were in this dive bar and me and my buddy wanted to be the CKY crew so bad, we literally tore down the walls seperating the toilet from the urinal, cops got us there

this kid we knew was an asshole and his parents owned a cemetary, we would find funeral programs brochure things in his truck and call the family and tell them we accidentally put the coffin in upside down or we accidentally burned them in the cremator or whatever.

i worked at a sporting good store that sold pellet rifles on this highway in my town and we would load the pellet rifles up and shoot cars on the highway from the door at the sporting good place. i probably shot like 500-700 cars lmao

one time we sold this kid a parsely joint and he tried to smoke it in this field we were in on atv's and obv that shit went up like a wildfire cause it was dry ass parsely. he coughed, dropped it and probably like 120-150 acres caught fire. was regional news, never got caught.

found a credit card on the ground at college and went to gamestop and bought 5 Sony PSP and then pawned em all except for one.

my parents probably should have paid more attention to me

man i could go on and on with this shit, luckily by the time i was about 22 i stopped doing all this ridiculous shit. i am pushing 40 now and thank god every day we didnt have phones/social media

some of these are straight up evil, got more?

[Jewel Runner]

i dont have shit going on so lets just go down memory lane - i grew up in a shitty ass town next to a shitty ass town next to a huge college football town

fill trash bins with food waste, water and motor oil and lean it against someones door at like 3 am and ring the doorbell, they open the door and their house is flooded with 55gals of waste

i worked at a building supply store and i would steal boxes of 1/4" nuts and we would zing em at cars coming the opposite direction

stole milk jugs from the grocery and would throw em at 18 wheelers when they were coming the opposite direction

we would get a cinderblock and put it in a walmart bag and set it on the highway and watch cars thinking they were going to hit a plastic bag and just get FUCKED UP - one time this drywall guys ladder flew off his van

we would go to goodwill and offer to buy all the stuff animals for like 20 bucks then we would tie them to a fishing pole and drag them across the highway and make people try not to hit a dog or something lmao - one time we did it and a ford expedition rear ended a BMW 3 series

i lit 12 bottle rockets in the hall at school during school time

we flushed quick crete down the toilets

one time we were fuckin shit faced when i was like 17 and we were in this dive bar and me and my buddy wanted to be the CKY crew so bad, we literally tore down the walls seperating the toilet from the urinal, cops got us there

this kid we knew was an asshole and his parents owned a cemetary, we would find funeral programs brochure things in his truck and call the family and tell them we accidentally put the coffin in upside down or we accidentally burned them in the cremator or whatever.

i worked at a sporting good store that sold pellet rifles on this highway in my town and we would load the pellet rifles up and shoot cars on the highway from the door at the sporting good place. i probably shot like 500-700 cars lmao

one time we sold this kid a parsely joint and he tried to smoke it in this field we were in on atv's and obv that shit went up like a wildfire cause it was dry ass parsely. he coughed, dropped it and probably like 120-150 acres caught fire. was regional news, never got caught.

found a credit card on the ground at college and went to gamestop and bought 5 Sony PSP and then pawned em all except for one.

my parents probably should have paid more attention to me

man i could go on and on with this shit, luckily by the time i was about 22 i stopped doing all this ridiculous shit. i am pushing 40 now and thank god every day we didnt have phones/social media

Damn!!!! How many cars got wrecked?

Yeah man tell us some more this was entertaining lol

[Dark Knight]

When I was about 8-9 I got the bright idea to jump off the roof of a 2 story condo with a trash bag thinking it would create a parachute. It didn’t.

I was re-enacting the scene from predator where Hawkins gets killed and fell on a pair of scissors which went straight through my knee.