Awkward Sexual Experiences

[Joust Ostrich]

That's her mom.. Not the hottest milf ever but..whatever I was confused and very drunk have a dick, and very few people get to pull this off.

Gnars for days.

[king_in_the_north]

backing this dude

[poorlatino]

I will show you her titties also but i'm done for now haha.

[poorlatino]

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That's her mom.. Not the hottest milf ever but..whatever I was confused and very drunk have a dick, and very few people get to pull this off.

[close]

Gnars for days.

Haha thanks dudes. I do love both of them they're very generous people and helped me out a lot and treated me like a prince. So yeah I am guilty a little but, you're right it's a good asshole story to tell. I've told girls and they were like "HOW COULD YOU" when I tell homies they think it's dope. IDK

[Merked]

I will show you her titties also but i'm done for now haha.

I am living vicariously through you through the internet right now.

Gnared fur sure

[EPetrov]

Poorlatino, were you also drunk while writing the story??
jus kiddin 

[ThugWaffle]

It's people like that I look up to.

[Spike Hawke]

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That's her mom.. Not the hottest milf ever but..whatever I was confused and very drunk have a dick, and very few people get to pull this off.

[close]

Gnars for days.

[poorlatino]

Poorlatino, were you also drunk while writing the story??
jus kiddin 

Not quite, I had a beer while I was typing it.

[Made In China]

I will show you her titties also but i'm done for now haha.

I'm holding you to this!

[tobey]

this happened to me and my friend freshman year of highschool. For some reason we both i think just got camera phones and we were all about them well one day at like the end of the year we just started taking pictures of our teachers butts (they were all women), one was only cute and the rest were kinda like jokes. we started taking pictures of our math teacher that day and we were so loud about it she knew something was up. So a couple minutes later my friend got his phone taken away by our math teacher. next class i got called down the the principals office and they looked through his phone and saw my name cause we would just send each other pictures of our teachers butts. well little did i know my friend got called down and he was in the principals office with all of our teachers. he said all of them were crying and were saying "why would you do this to us" so we both got suspended for the remaining of the school year which was like 2 weeks, we had to take our finals during the summer. They were going to bring us up on sexual harassment chargers but my friends mom threaten them with a lawyer cause they went in our phones with out permission. still talk to this kid today and we just laugh about it. thats all i got not as good as the other stories in here but its something

[ice nine]

were u hiding in a port o potty? or was it peepholes

[tobey]

^ na we just took the pictures in class that we had that day, we werent sneaky about it just, we were just dumb kids

[dask8d00d]

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I need to see pictures of both of them.  Then I will shower with gnars.

[close]

K I will, I'm just scared someone might know them on slap and tell my ex that I fucked her beautiful mom.

man you would be surprised...

[poorlatino]

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I need to see pictures of both of them.  Then I will shower with gnars.

[close]

K I will, I'm just scared someone might know them on slap and tell my ex that I fucked her beautiful mom.

[close]

man you would be surprised...

Yeah I'm really sketched out about it.. I'm just gonna take down the pictures tomorrow night.

[dask8d00d]

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I need to see pictures of both of them.  Then I will shower with gnars.

[close]

K I will, I'm just scared someone might know them on slap and tell my ex that I fucked her beautiful mom.

[close]

man you would be surprised...

[close]

Yeah I'm really sketched out about it.. I'm just gonna take down the pictures tomorrow night.

hahaha trust me some lurker on here told a girl that I posted about her in the OkCupid thread & she tried to air me out on instagram by screenshotting my post & lying about what actually happened (it was shitty date because her attitude sucked). not that i really gave a fuck at first just because I didn't like her anyways, but I started talking to this other chick who actually seems really cool only to find out that she's actually friends with the first girl. I told her about the shitty date with the first one & we laughed about it but then once I found out they happened to be friends I checked the instagram post where the first chick was tryna stunt on me & she liked it. I dunno if she put 2 and 2 together yet but its gonna be a weird situation if we end up dating.

Moral of the story: Never let the internet get too real for you, lol.

[excitableboy]

Obviously would gnar you if I could, poorlatino. But all I can say is: HOW? You must be one attractive fellow.

[Pippen]

Obviously would gnar you if I could, poorlatino. But all I can say is: HOW? You must be one attractive fellow.

post a fit!

[poorlatino]

Obviously would gnar you if I could, poorlatino. But all I can say is: HOW? You must be one attractive fellow.

Haha not quite but here's a picture of me, there's more in the "post a picture of yourself thread" really recent too..

I had a rep of 2, three days ago. Now i'm at 20. I guess I know how Slap works now.

and honestly i'm not even in great shape or anything, I till this day don't understand how I've gotten the women I have.
must be my Mexican charm..

[poorlatino]

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I need to see pictures of both of them.  Then I will shower with gnars.

[close]

K I will, I'm just scared someone might know them on slap and tell my ex that I fucked her beautiful mom.

[close]

man you would be surprised...

[close]

Yeah I'm really sketched out about it.. I'm just gonna take down the pictures tomorrow night.

[close]

hahaha trust me some lurker on here told a girl that I posted about her in the OkCupid thread & she tried to air me out on instagram by screenshotting my post & lying about what actually happened (it was shitty date because her attitude sucked). not that i really gave a fuck at first just because I didn't like her anyways, but I started talking to this other chick who actually seems really cool only to find out that she's actually friends with the first girl. I told her about the shitty date with the first one & we laughed about it but then once I found out they happened to be friends I checked the instagram post where the first chick was tryna stunt on me & she liked it. I dunno if she put 2 and 2 together yet but its gonna be a weird situation if we end up dating.

Moral of the story: Never let the internet get too real for you, lol.

Fuck man..Shit just got way real too.  I deleted the pictures dudes but if you missed out or want to see them again for a fap session let me know just PM me.

She lives in L.A and has a lot of skateboarder friends, don't wanna take the chance to have her hate me for the rest of her life. Cause when I see her from time to time we still hook up, it's hard not to with each other.

[excitableboy]

Well I just checked you out like a homo and, while I can appreciate the downplay, I can see why you do well.
I would probably kill a puppy to get with either of those women, but then that is probably a big part of the reason why I don't. That and the fact I don't look like a broke Strokes member.

[poorlatino]

Well I just checked you out like a homo and, while I can appreciate the downplay, I can see why you do well.
I would probably kill a puppy to get with either of those women, but then that is probably a big part of the reason why I don't. That and the fact I don't look like a broke Strokes member.

Haha at least you're funny..

[EPetrov]

Honestly I'm kinda disappointed in the maybe you made her seem way hotter in the story.
All 3 of you are gonna end up on maury

[poorlatino]

Honestly I'm kinda disappointed in the maybe you made her seem way hotter in the story.
All 3 of you are gonna end up on maury

Let me know when you have sex with your ex girlfriends mom. I'd love to see her picture.

[poorlatino]

Sorry I keep deleting them I just know one of her homies has to lurk slap.. P.M me

[IanBZHD]

Sorry I keep deleting them I just know one of her homies has to lurk slap.. P.M me

PM'd gotta see what all the fuss is about!

[work lurk]

thread had me laughing all night, so I thought it was only appropriate that I post my story.

I was kinda interested in my buddies next door neighbor years ago, she was nice, kinda quirky and cute in a nerdy way. Anyway's, after a night of drinking she invites me over to her place and I know it's on. I walk in the door and the place immediately just smells gross. She proceeds to show me her 4 rats, one of which has one eye and is on the verge of death (her words) I understand where the disgusting smell is from. I don't mind any of this so far, but it doesn't exactly put one in the mood. We finally get to her bedroom and start making out and it's getting pretty hot and heavy, then all of a sudden she stops me and says "before we go any further I have to show you my soul box" pretty weird, but whatever I'm not going to be rude. She opens up this wooden box that has all sorts of weird shit in it, a picture of the dead kid in Stand By Me, fake toy handguns, magazine clippings of old Macauly Caulkin photos, poems ex boyfriends wrote her, just weird shit. She took out everything in there and it explained it's significance to me which ended up taking like 45 minutes and I really didn't give a fuck about any of it. Finally she pulls out a condom from the box and asks me if I'm ready. At this point I'm really not in the mood and kinda weirded out, but I just invested a lot of time trying to bone this chick, so why give up now? she tells me to put the condom on and just lays down flat waiting for me to enter her. I jack myself off, get semi hard and put it in. She says nothing, does nothing, makes no noise, just lays their looking bored and kinda scared. I'm obviously not feeling it and know I'm not going to bust, but I'm waiting for a good time to fake a nut and planning on how to get out of there as politely and fast as possible. Then out of know where she full on butt trumpet farts while I'm doing her missionary. Again, I know things happen and human anatomy doesn't shame me, but this was just the straw that broke the camels back in boring, weird sex. I pretended not to hear it, pumped a few more times and faked my nut. After about 3 minutes of awkward pillow talk I made up a lie that I needed to make sure my buddy wasn't too drunk and wen't back to my friends house.

[ttching!]

You were lucky. She was a witch. If you'd have busted in that condom, it would have been your soul in the box and she'd have a new rat.

[Carrolls Chesthairs]

 s'good with a tit pic though?

[swimmons3]

SO as far as i have read there are no stories of broken Dicks. Wasn't sure it was possible until my dick broke getting ridden ridiculously ridden. Went to an employee party where, because i had mad promo, everything was free. IPAs are my choice so i was relatively hammered and she was drinking on my tab.Little did i know that she had been into me for a while. We go to my buddy's house where the drunken two of us are getting relatively serious. Too many friends are walking through to continue there so we roll to her house. Conveniently we have condoms, always, and after my first bust, roll to the second. Like most, second shot drunk, happens to survive longer. So intensity increasing we continue. She turns out to be a needer of the serous pounding. One out one in and a horrible crash. Felt like my shit had broken off! Turns out it had actually broken. Blue for two weeks. Don't worry, it can happen and it is not permanent! However super ill advised. Beware kinky can fuck you up!