Awkward Sexual Experiences

[DA BIG BODY BENZ]

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The Deftones fucking suck.

I'd rather just listen to some Op Ivy

[close]

yeah both of those bands are pretty terrible and neither of those bands are relevant to this thread.

Put some respek on op ivys name fool

[jakeumms]

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Sounds cool and all, but what the fuck was that pink meat in your teeth my dude?

[close]

I assume it was some fucking wart or something. I got HPV from that girl I'm pretty sure. Funny thing is she was my first long term grrl. We was young and partied harder than nearly everyone we met.

But yeah

Cool heads always prevail in tripping.

It's important to remember when you lick a dozen or so stamps with a friend. It's on you to hold out your hand and lift them up if things go south for them.

I wouldn't trip on HPV. Something like 90% of the adult sexually active population had been exposed to it prior to them developing a vaccine. I got mine from a very nice person who it turns out wasn't terrific about disclosing some stuff.

i lost my virginity to a graduate student who was 5 years older than me. She asked me to pee on her before we had sex and idk about u guys but its kind of hard to pee when somebody's watching you specifically, and generally am not stoked to show a woman my flaccid penis

I don't really understand what the point was either she just showered after the piss and then had sex, and then showered again. Just seems like a waste of water to me

EDIT: has a username ever checked out harder?

[Featherdale wildlife park]

I looked in the mirror

[Ms. Tamzarian]

I wanted something clever to respond to the latest golden and mind-boggling additions to this thread, but all I can come up with is shalom. You are all shalom warriors. 

[offkilter]

This is not so much awkward as it is traumatic. I somewhat buried this memory and it came back to me this year and I'm realizing how fucked up it was... I was 16 and I was hanging out at a girl's house, she was the first girl I fooled around with which happened a few weeks prior. We had taken some acid earlier in the night with a few other friends and were all having an amazing time, listening to music, laughing, and the girl and I were making out from time to time. We heard a car pull into the driveway and she started FREAKING OUT; cliche situation where her dad wasn't supposed to come home until way later in the night.

We were upstairs in her room, in an apartment where there was only a front door and no other way to escape. Myself, one other guy friend and his girlfriend all hid in the closet and the girl I was with got in bed on her laptop and tried to act casual. The dad came in the room and he must have seen us through the window when he pulled up, because he immediately came and opened the closet. A little background info, he was probably 6'4" and a crazy, alcoholic tweaker which I had already known about. I was sitting directly in the middle of the closet, and when he saw me he went into a fit of rage and punched me in the fucking face and neck multiple times. I was tripping, completely stunned and managed to get him on the ground and run for my life, the other two in the closet following me. It really sunk in when I was walking home across town through the night, still completely high and I couldn't twist my neck at all from the pain. It made me feel horrible for what that girl probably had to go through living with him.

TL;DR I was high on acid and a girl's dad beat the fuck out of me in a closet

[AssMountain]

Drunk, but I'll recount the story as I remember it.

I was living in Nottingham at the university, and my friend and I made friends with some girls after a Fat White Family show. They were both really rad girls, down to go to gigs and piss around with us etc. One of them I really fancied, the other one was really cool, but not really a looker. One night we went to some shit gig at a venue called the fruitmarket or something, it was a really pretentious place near Sneinton markets, anyway I had a load of Tennents Super (10% beer), and me, my pal, and these two girls all got horrendously wasted at the gig. Then we wandered around Nottingham for quite a long time, went to some bar where you could only buy Red Stripe in bottles (they were 2 quid each so I didn't really mind) and got progressively more pissed as the night went on. At some point I decided to make out with one of the girls on a dance floor in a club, and it happened to be the one I didn't fancy.

I don't really remember the journey from the club to the bedroom, but I remember shagging this girl in the pitch dark while Connan Mockasin played, and in my mind I was shagging the girl I fancied, but when I woke up I realised that I was stark naked in some strange room near the girl I really didn't fancy. I got dressed as soon as I could, vomited bile in her sink, and promptly left the house. Then as I was walking down the street I realised I was still slightly pissed, was miles from where I lived, and had no clue to get back. So I had to walk back to her house, knock on her door and ask how the fuck I could get back to Nottingham Uni.

Actually hung out with both girls several times after that, they were cool. Not that bad of a story, but that day afterwards was one of the worst hangovers I've ever had, and the night's events really made it worse.

To this day I cannot listen to Connan Mockasin.

[Grind King Rims]

Well lads, it's been a while, so the old boy Grind King Rims will regale a tale of a huuuuuge fucking mistake.

When I was about 20/21, I was staying at home in the countryside with my family. I was still deeply closeted and hated my gay sexual urges. My go-to wasn't Grindr, but Craigslist Casual Encounters. I got in contact with some sketchy old guy from a few country towns over. All of these towns have populations of hundreds of people, not thousands: as rural as it gets. I can't remember the details of chatting with this guy, but somewhere along the way he mentions that he has a fantasy of being a schoolmaster and getting with a guy in school uniform. I offered to wear my old school uniform, but thank Christ almighty he said it wasn't necessary because my dumb faggot ass would have done it.

I ended up ordering a rural taxi bus to get me over there. My family was suspicious as to why I was leaving suddenly in the night, and even the taxi driver was wondering why I was getting a taxi to a tiny remote village. When I met the guy, he was shorter than me, maybe 5'3" and from what little I could see on the side road with no street lights, he was absolutely disgusting. He looked like the Yellow King from True Detective , but shorter. I was too uncomfortable and inexperienced to just say, "Yeah this isn't happening man, I'm not into it." So instead I went with him down a country road to the shed where his family kept the cattle, where he had a tiny cot, a 12" TV/VHS combo playing porn (he apologized for only having straight porn). He had a tiny disgusting penis. We 69'd for about a minute, maybe less, before he said really casually, with almost no inflection in his voice, "Don't worry, I'm just cumming there." and came in my mouth. I got the same confused, suspicious taxi driver to take me home immediately, less than a half an hour after he dropped me off I'm sure.

It's probably the most disgusting and unpleasant sexual experience I've ever had. I remember feeling like I had volunteered myself to be molested. I don't think I jacked off or felt sexy for well over a week after and I've never told anyone about it until now.

[Grind King Rims]

Try the fish, I'll be here all week.

[BieberStance]

So I'm at a LGBTQ+ bar and I have always considered myself bicurious, anyways I'm digging this one gal and her gal pal she described herself as bi too I'm thinking awww man I'm in like Flint.

Well I am putting the Mac down talking this huge game like dunning Krueger type of worldly views I have done this and I'm not scared as she asked me to flop out my dick so I'm hammered but maintaining my my whiskey dick, whip my dong out and start beating my meat going hard in the paint too the scene is livid like everyone else is watching queens and bears are watching.

I get halfway there to just about cum and her gal pal takes me in the bathroom and we're going at it like on the toilet and girl is tongue punching my starfish, I'm just about there but I had chilli earlier and I am trying to cut my fart or just ignore it nope I farted the gal eating my ass was like wtf?!

I'm going hard on her gal pal from behind which I didn't know was transgendered.  I sharted myself and didn't know till I smelled it, I was super bummed they laughed a bit but ultimately I got their numbers for a later date. Ended up hooking up with transgal later on for a while on a crazy meth binge it was mad fun to have that random encounter but I don't think I'd be down now as I'm sober, not that I don't swing that way I guess I'm boring and like things simple these day's.

I have for no reason imagined ben raybourn narrating this. Without glasses. He lost em.

[MintySandwhich]

Well lads, it's been a while, so the old boy Grind King Rims will regale a tale of a huuuuuge fucking mistake.

When I was about 20/21, I was staying at home in the countryside with my family. I was still deeply closeted and hated my gay sexual urges. My go-to wasn't Grindr, but Craigslist Casual Encounters. I got in contact with some sketchy old guy from a few country towns over. All of these towns have populations of hundreds of people, not thousands: as rural as it gets. I can't remember the details of chatting with this guy, but somewhere along the way he mentions that he has a fantasy of being a schoolmaster and getting with a guy in school uniform. I offered to wear my old school uniform, but thank Christ almighty he said it wasn't necessary because my dumb faggot ass would have done it.

I ended up ordering a rural taxi bus to get me over there. My family was suspicious as to why I was leaving suddenly in the night, and even the taxi driver was wondering why I was getting a taxi to a tiny remote village. When I met the guy, he was shorter than me, maybe 5'3" and from what little I could see on the side road with no street lights, he was absolutely disgusting. He looked like the Yellow King from True Detective , but shorter. I was too uncomfortable and inexperienced to just say, "Yeah this isn't happening man, I'm not into it." So instead I went with him down a country road to the shed where his family kept the cattle, where he had a tiny cot, a 12" TV/VHS combo playing porn (he apologized for only having straight porn). He had a tiny disgusting penis. We 69'd for about a minute, maybe less, before he said really casually, with almost no inflection in his voice, "Don't worry, I'm just cumming there." and came in my mouth. I got the same confused, suspicious taxi driver to take me home immediately, less than a half an hour after he dropped me off I'm sure.

It's probably the most disgusting and unpleasant sexual experience I've ever had. I remember feeling like I had volunteered myself to be molested. I don't think I jacked off or felt sexy for well over a week after and I've never told anyone about it until now.

damn, props for sharing that. As it is truly on awkward sexual experience. But makes for a good story! +1

[Idk]

I meet a girl off tinder. She says she’s a virgin and on her period but I’m down and I figured she wasn’t being honest about being a virgin. We meet at a Walgreens and I drive to the vacant parking lot that my friends and I skate and we just make out for a while. After a bit I go down on her and am fingering too when I noticed the blood. It wasn’t too bad but I gave her some napkins to clean up. She then gave me head and I came. She asked if I wanted to go inside her but I told her I had no condoms. I told her since I had already came we could just go for it and risk it. So we do and I go in but I slip out very quickly. That’s when I see my penis covered in a ton of blood. Never seen that much blood on my little guy. Suffice to say I couldn’t get hard after that.

[Benchpress]

I meet a girl off tinder. She says she’s a virgin and on her period but I’m down and I figured she wasn’t being honest about being a virgin. We meet at a Walgreens and I drive to the vacant parking lot that my friends and I skate and we just make out for a while. After a bit I go down on her and am fingering too when I noticed the blood. It wasn’t too bad but I gave her some napkins to clean up. She then gave me head and I came. She asked if I wanted to go inside her but I told her I had no condoms. I told her since I had already came we could just go for it and risk it. So we do and I go in but I slip out very quickly. That’s when I see my penis covered in a ton of blood. Never seen that much blood on my little guy. Suffice to say I couldn’t get hard after that.

Homeboy you're partaking in some dangerous shit

[Nosferatu]

Well lads, it's been a while, so the old boy Grind King Rims will regale a tale of a huuuuuge fucking mistake.

When I was about 20/21, I was staying at home in the countryside with my family. I was still deeply closeted and hated my gay sexual urges. My go-to wasn't Grindr, but Craigslist Casual Encounters. I got in contact with some sketchy old guy from a few country towns over. All of these towns have populations of hundreds of people, not thousands: as rural as it gets. I can't remember the details of chatting with this guy, but somewhere along the way he mentions that he has a fantasy of being a schoolmaster and getting with a guy in school uniform. I offered to wear my old school uniform, but thank Christ almighty he said it wasn't necessary because my dumb faggot ass would have done it.

I ended up ordering a rural taxi bus to get me over there. My family was suspicious as to why I was leaving suddenly in the night, and even the taxi driver was wondering why I was getting a taxi to a tiny remote village. When I met the guy, he was shorter than me, maybe 5'3" and from what little I could see on the side road with no street lights, he was absolutely disgusting. He looked like the Yellow King from True Detective , but shorter. I was too uncomfortable and inexperienced to just say, "Yeah this isn't happening man, I'm not into it." So instead I went with him down a country road to the shed where his family kept the cattle, where he had a tiny cot, a 12" TV/VHS combo playing porn (he apologized for only having straight porn). He had a tiny disgusting penis. We 69'd for about a minute, maybe less, before he said really casually, with almost no inflection in his voice, "Don't worry, I'm just cumming there." and came in my mouth. I got the same confused, suspicious taxi driver to take me home immediately, less than a half an hour after he dropped me off I'm sure.

It's probably the most disgusting and unpleasant sexual experience I've ever had. I remember feeling like I had volunteered myself to be molested. I don't think I jacked off or felt sexy for well over a week after and I've never told anyone about it until now.

This is incredibly depressing. Being made to think your most basic urges are wrong leads to some fucked up shit. Thanks for sharing.

[Idk]

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I meet a girl off tinder. She says she’s a virgin and on her period but I’m down and I figured she wasn’t being honest about being a virgin. We meet at a Walgreens and I drive to the vacant parking lot that my friends and I skate and we just make out for a while. After a bit I go down on her and am fingering too when I noticed the blood. It wasn’t too bad but I gave her some napkins to clean up. She then gave me head and I came. She asked if I wanted to go inside her but I told her I had no condoms. I told her since I had already came we could just go for it and risk it. So we do and I go in but I slip out very quickly. That’s when I see my penis covered in a ton of blood. Never seen that much blood on my little guy. Suffice to say I couldn’t get hard after that.

[close]

Homeboy you're partaking in some dangerous shit

I started using condoms now!

[DarthDingusMaximus]

Well lads, it's been a while, so the old boy Grind King Rims will regale a tale of a huuuuuge fucking mistake.

When I was about 20/21, I was staying at home in the countryside with my family. I was still deeply closeted and hated my gay sexual urges. My go-to wasn't Grindr, but Craigslist Casual Encounters. I got in contact with some sketchy old guy from a few country towns over. All of these towns have populations of hundreds of people, not thousands: as rural as it gets. I can't remember the details of chatting with this guy, but somewhere along the way he mentions that he has a fantasy of being a schoolmaster and getting with a guy in school uniform. I offered to wear my old school uniform, but thank Christ almighty he said it wasn't necessary because my dumb faggot ass would have done it.

I ended up ordering a rural taxi bus to get me over there. My family was suspicious as to why I was leaving suddenly in the night, and even the taxi driver was wondering why I was getting a taxi to a tiny remote village. When I met the guy, he was shorter than me, maybe 5'3" and from what little I could see on the side road with no street lights, he was absolutely disgusting. He looked like the Yellow King from True Detective , but shorter. I was too uncomfortable and inexperienced to just say, "Yeah this isn't happening man, I'm not into it." So instead I went with him down a country road to the shed where his family kept the cattle, where he had a tiny cot, a 12" TV/VHS combo playing porn (he apologized for only having straight porn). He had a tiny disgusting penis. We 69'd for about a minute, maybe less, before he said really casually, with almost no inflection in his voice, "Don't worry, I'm just cumming there." and came in my mouth. I got the same confused, suspicious taxi driver to take me home immediately, less than a half an hour after he dropped me off I'm sure.

It's probably the most disgusting and unpleasant sexual experience I've ever had. I remember feeling like I had volunteered myself to be molested. I don't think I jacked off or felt sexy for well over a week after and I've never told anyone about it until now.

Damn dog that's increasingly sad and more disgusting to commit  to and go ahead with that deed. We've all got our urge's but that dude I'd definitely pass on.

I can speak from my own experience with a few dude's I've hooked up with weren't that great looking but holy hell that dude was haggard as fuck looking.

[mynameisnotjeff]

Had a recent experience awkward experience.
Moved back home from college and I don’t have the space and privacy to have full on sex. My partner and I settle for quickies and can’t be too loud. So we occasionally get a room at a Hotel/Motel.

The last time I was excited. We had planned to wild out. Right as we check in some barefoot kid starts running around and his parent runs behind him. Went to wash my hands before anything and was grossed out as someone had shaved recently. I powered through and things heated up. Minutes later when the magic was really happening and the bed started slamming against the wall. I remembered the kid and felt uncomfortable about the kid hearing and faked a cramp. I had a hard time getting comfortable and made an excuse to not continue. Shit sucked.

[AssMountain]

I stayed in Poland for a bit a few years back. Me and my girlfriend at the time were in a really nice hotel where the rooms were more like really old self contained apartments in the city centre. Anyway one morning we were going at it and we hear someone say something in Polish outside our door. Neither of us speak Polish, but it quickly became apparent that it was housekeeping coming to change the sheets etc, as a young woman opened the door and very clearly saw us fucking. It was bizarre, she maintained eye contact with me as she slowly closed the door.

Krakow is an amazing place, I suggest everyone go if they get the chance.

[pugmaster]

This isn't my story but read this in a facebook group the other day and it reminded me of this thread so thought it was worth the bump:



Throwaway account because my wife follows my regular account here. My (28m) wife (26f) and I have admittedly had very vanilla sex throughout our 3 year marriage. We had our first kid a year ago and it seriously slowed down our sex life. However, a little under a month ago she approached me about “trying new things”. She has been hanging out with a group of moms in our neighborhood and one of them told her that she and her husband tried pegging and it completely transformed their marriage. My wife told me that she wanted to try pegging as well to “spice things up”. At first I thought it was a joke, but soon realized she actually wanted to peg me. I had never done assplay before and had always lived by the philosophy that the anus is solely an exit, but my wife made it clear that this was important to her so after a few days I obliged.

That next weekend, she pegged me and everything was surprisingly enjoyable. Additionally, the week following the pegging was one of the best weeks we’ve had together since the birth of our child. We were back to our old sex life, doing things like having sex before work and even waking each other up with head. However, that next weekend she told me she wanted to peg me again. I was slightly confused as to why this last week of sex wasn’t cutting it for her, but I agreed.

This is when things took an extreme turn. During this second pegging while my wife was inside of me, she grabbed my hair, craned my neck to the right, and pressed our foreheads together. I had never seen her take control like this and thought it was very hot until she looked me in the eye and whispered “I want your shit”. I pulled my face away and asked her to repeat and she said “I want you to shit on me”. I pushed her off of me and asked her if she was joking and she started crying. I felt like a fucking dick because she thought I was kinkshaming her. In a way, I was because I thought the request was far too extreme. I ended up leaving for the night and stayed with one of my close friends, but didn’t tell him what happened.

After that incident, my wife and I hardly talked all week unless it related to our son. At the end of the week, I asked my wife to talk about what happened. She told me again that she wanted me to shit on her and that it meant a lot to her. I thought it was sickening, but she claimed this was her deepest, darkest kink. I couldn’t understand how and why my shit excited her, but she insisted that she has always wanted this.

We fought about this for about a week and after watching some scat porn and reading articles by people who also shared this kink, I tried to put myself in my wife’s shoes. I told her that I will shit on her if that is what will turn her on. She was so happy and even though I was still completely nauseated by this desire, I wanted to satisfy her.

That brings us to tonight. We were having sex for the first time this week when I (regrettably) confessed to her that I had to take a shit. She perked up with a smile, sensed my discomfort, and began stroking my hair and whispering encouraging things to me. I still really didn’t want to go through with it, but since I had promised her I pulled out and we ran to the bathroom.

She got into the bathtub and I hung my ass over the side of the tub. I started pushing, but unsurprisingly found it very difficult to successfully shit on my wife. I turned my head around to see my wife staring up and smiling at me waiting for me to finish. With enough time, I was finally able to get a turd to start coming out. I could hear my wife breathing heavier beneath me as my asshole started opening. However, before the turd was able to drop on her chest, I felt a sensation around my asshole.

I turned around and saw my wife - the love of my life, the mother of my son - attempting to catch my turd in her mouth as it fell out of my asshole. I was horrified that she would try to do this, and tried to pull the shit back into my body so she couldn’t receive it in her mouth. Seeing what looked like an attempt by her to eat my shit brought me close to throwing up.

As I clenched my buttcheeks together to try to stop the shit from reaching my wife, the clenching cut off a very small piece of my shit and I heard it land somewhere beneath me. I was too scared and disgusted to look at my wife to see what she had done with it, so I ran to the other bathroom to clean myself. As I was sitting in the other bathroom thinking about how I will ever be able to look my wife in the eye again, I heard footsteps approaching. My wife lightly knocked on the door. I didn’t respond and was on the verge of throwing up the more I thought about what just happened. She walked away and then I got a text from her thanking me for fulfilling her wish and asking me to come to bed.

I’ve been sitting in the living room typing this for the last half hour scared to face my wife. We have plans to take our son to the zoo with another family tomorrow, but I don’t think I can look at her

I can't tell you how many times over the past few months I randomly think of this story.

[Allen.]

I started pushing, but unsurprisingly found it very difficult to successfully shit on my wife

Wow. Thank you.

[fakie butt drop]

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This isn't my story but read this in a facebook group the other day and it reminded me of this thread so thought it was worth the bump:



Throwaway account because my wife follows my regular account here. My (28m) wife (26f) and I have admittedly had very vanilla sex throughout our 3 year marriage. We had our first kid a year ago and it seriously slowed down our sex life. However, a little under a month ago she approached me about “trying new things”. She has been hanging out with a group of moms in our neighborhood and one of them told her that she and her husband tried pegging and it completely transformed their marriage. My wife told me that she wanted to try pegging as well to “spice things up”. At first I thought it was a joke, but soon realized she actually wanted to peg me. I had never done assplay before and had always lived by the philosophy that the anus is solely an exit, but my wife made it clear that this was important to her so after a few days I obliged.

That next weekend, she pegged me and everything was surprisingly enjoyable. Additionally, the week following the pegging was one of the best weeks we’ve had together since the birth of our child. We were back to our old sex life, doing things like having sex before work and even waking each other up with head. However, that next weekend she told me she wanted to peg me again. I was slightly confused as to why this last week of sex wasn’t cutting it for her, but I agreed.

This is when things took an extreme turn. During this second pegging while my wife was inside of me, she grabbed my hair, craned my neck to the right, and pressed our foreheads together. I had never seen her take control like this and thought it was very hot until she looked me in the eye and whispered “I want your shit”. I pulled my face away and asked her to repeat and she said “I want you to shit on me”. I pushed her off of me and asked her if she was joking and she started crying. I felt like a fucking dick because she thought I was kinkshaming her. In a way, I was because I thought the request was far too extreme. I ended up leaving for the night and stayed with one of my close friends, but didn’t tell him what happened.

After that incident, my wife and I hardly talked all week unless it related to our son. At the end of the week, I asked my wife to talk about what happened. She told me again that she wanted me to shit on her and that it meant a lot to her. I thought it was sickening, but she claimed this was her deepest, darkest kink. I couldn’t understand how and why my shit excited her, but she insisted that she has always wanted this.

We fought about this for about a week and after watching some scat porn and reading articles by people who also shared this kink, I tried to put myself in my wife’s shoes. I told her that I will shit on her if that is what will turn her on. She was so happy and even though I was still completely nauseated by this desire, I wanted to satisfy her.

That brings us to tonight. We were having sex for the first time this week when I (regrettably) confessed to her that I had to take a shit. She perked up with a smile, sensed my discomfort, and began stroking my hair and whispering encouraging things to me. I still really didn’t want to go through with it, but since I had promised her I pulled out and we ran to the bathroom.

She got into the bathtub and I hung my ass over the side of the tub. I started pushing, but unsurprisingly found it very difficult to successfully shit on my wife. I turned my head around to see my wife staring up and smiling at me waiting for me to finish. With enough time, I was finally able to get a turd to start coming out. I could hear my wife breathing heavier beneath me as my asshole started opening. However, before the turd was able to drop on her chest, I felt a sensation around my asshole.

I turned around and saw my wife - the love of my life, the mother of my son - attempting to catch my turd in her mouth as it fell out of my asshole. I was horrified that she would try to do this, and tried to pull the shit back into my body so she couldn’t receive it in her mouth. Seeing what looked like an attempt by her to eat my shit brought me close to throwing up.

As I clenched my buttcheeks together to try to stop the shit from reaching my wife, the clenching cut off a very small piece of my shit and I heard it land somewhere beneath me. I was too scared and disgusted to look at my wife to see what she had done with it, so I ran to the other bathroom to clean myself. As I was sitting in the other bathroom thinking about how I will ever be able to look my wife in the eye again, I heard footsteps approaching. My wife lightly knocked on the door. I didn’t respond and was on the verge of throwing up the more I thought about what just happened. She walked away and then I got a text from her thanking me for fulfilling her wish and asking me to come to bed.

I’ve been sitting in the living room typing this for the last half hour scared to face my wife. We have plans to take our son to the zoo with another family tomorrow, but I don’t think I can look at her

[close]

I can't tell you how many times over the past few months I randomly think of this story.

that was the gnarliest fucking thing ive ever read in my life

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

The part about taking the son to the zoo the next day is so good

[pugmaster]

The best thing about this scenario to me is that in order for him to please his wife with her fetish, basically he has to spray her like a skunk and traipse off to the shower.

I would try a different approach.  "Well, I don't want to PHYSICALLY shit on you, but ..... how about I just forget your birthday and our anniversary"? 

[Frank]

i don't mean to kinkshame wifey here, but even that stuff should be consensual in a way. i can understand the dude is shook. as psyched as she is about eating his shit, it sucks when the dude doesn't feel comfortable shitting on her. i would be guilttripping. i also wouldn't kiss her for weeks if i knew she snacked my poo. humans are already disgusting enough as it is. our mouths and asses are dirtier than those of our pets.

i can't believe i typed all this, lol.

[pugmaster]

Imagine going out with the wife who is into scat and eating in a restaurant.  "This food is terrible!" she says.  Are you sure about that?

I feel like people who are into eating scat should not be allowed to have yelp accounts.  Sort of like gun control measures, but for food quality.

[fakie butt drop]

I feel like people who are into eating scat should not be allowed to have yelp accounts.

Fucking status

[ok boomer]

i don't mean to kinkshame wifey here, but even that stuff should be consensual in a way. i can understand the dude is shook. as psyched as she is about eating his shit, it sucks when the dude doesn't feel comfortable shitting on her. i would be guilttripping. i also wouldn't kiss her for weeks if i knew she snacked my poo. humans are already disgusting enough as it is. our mouths and asses are dirtier than those of our pets.

i can't believe i typed all this, lol.

Going to somehow fit this into a conversation today at work

[shucknjive]

iM not Joke Wack.

[fakie butt drop]

oh fuck, oh man, oh shit. the other night i hooked up with a heavy goth chick and while we were doing 69 she squirted so much pickle juice down my throat. gnarliest fucking moment of my life. threw her off me and could not get hard again for the rest of the night.
fucking RIP

[pugmaster]

oh fuck, oh man, oh shit. the other night i hooked up with a heavy goth chick and while we were doing 69 she squirted so much pickle juice down my throat. gnarliest fucking moment of my life. threw her off me and could not get hard again for the rest of the night.
fucking RIP

As a BBW fan myself, I have had mixed experience with squirters. In some cases everything is hunky dory.  In other cases it is straight up urine. 

[fakie butt drop]

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oh fuck, oh man, oh shit. the other night i hooked up with a heavy goth chick and while we were doing 69 she squirted so much pickle juice down my throat. gnarliest fucking moment of my life. threw her off me and could not get hard again for the rest of the night.
fucking RIP

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As a BBW fan myself, I have had mixed experience with squirters. In some cases everything is hunky dory.  In other cases it is straight up urine.

She didnt even cum, just channeled the great fucking flood into me. im fine with squirters but it was like swallowing a blast of salt water swimming in the ocean- fucked me up yo.