Kinda embarrassed to say this, but fuck it.
I'm 20 years old, but I'm always stressin about how I'm gonna make a living. I got some stuff going on, on the side to keep me busy, but it feels more like a band-aid than a solution. I'm angry/annoyed most of the day and would rather just sleep, or be away from people if at all possible. I get intensely envious of people that I see happy, and I hate those kind of people tbh. Shit just feels pointless at times. Like yesterday I was 10 years old, today 20 years old, tomorrow I'll be 30. Shit's just out of control, and I feel it slipping away from me right now. I keep telling myself smile, and it'll be alright. Sometimes I do try to be generally upbeat, but fuck that.