This time 3 years ago my life went to pure shit in about 3 seconds. I had the sickest life- I was 17, I was one of the most popular dudes at my school, I had a hot girlfriend, and I was a multi-sport varsity athlete. Something was missing still and that was skateboarding. I always liked two things as a kid skating and basketball, but my dad forced me to play basketball in high school so I never got to skate past 8th grade. I started for the basketball and volleyball team at my school and was a really well known, respected member of my town. Which I thought was hilarious because none of them knew I hated playing for the school and was a total pothead on my free time.
After my coaches told me I had a chance to play college basketball, I started playing more and training and taking things more seriously. During a pickup game I went up for a dunk and some jackass I had played against in high school thought it would be cool to take out my legs mid-air and I landed on both wrists. I shook it off then but a week later found out I had broken both wrists. This sent me into such a rage after about a month with both hands casted, I lost it. I broke up with my girlfriend, started ditching school to smoke all day, and stopped caring about shit. After barely graduating high school I started experimenting with coke and ecstasy and picked up a pretty bad drinking habit.
Right before my first year of college I got my casts off and I started getting into shrooms and acid and failed all of my classes because I was ditching to drink, smoke weed, and skate all day. For one of my homies birthday we all decided to do shrooms in the local forest but when we left my buddy and I got pulled over with about a quad of leftover shrooms, a scale, and about a half oz. of bud. We had to spend the night in the drunk tank on a headful of shrooms each. Pretty much lost my mind. A few days later I was out bombing hills with some friends and I got caught up on some gravel and rebroke my wrist.
That was when I started getting into Oxycontin. That shit is directly from hell itself. A few of my other druggie friends got me into it after I told them how bad my wrist was hurting. Worst mistake ever. I dropped out of school my second year to do oxy. I worked several different minimum wage jobs and sold weed to keep my habit up but it wasnt enough. Thatss when I started stealing money from my family and selling everything I owned. Once my parents found out, they sent me to live in Peru with my grandparents for 2 months to sober up and figure out my life. I spent the whole two months drinking with my grandpa but at least I was off weed/drugs. I also started lurking slap around then too.
This past summer I spent nearly every day just drinking and skating up until Fourth of July when I took too much acid and ended up alone in my room tripping out for about 10 hours. I had a complete mental breakdown but I decided then that I was gunna get my shit together and start succeeding in life. About a week later I landed a good job and have been working up until February when I found out my wrist was still broken and needed surgery to repair it.
I am now a month into recovery and been completely sober but the aftermath is all hitting me at once. Ive lost basically all my friends, social skills, and mental health. I can no longer be in big groups of people unless im drinking and feel like i have developed some form of schizophrenia, depression, and social anxiety. Im not even 21 and ive completely torn apart my consciousness and alienated myself from my community. All I have to look forward to now is a minimum wage job and the collapse of America. I should just kill myself now.
I hope God reads slap.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1976491 times)