real confessions

[lilpeen]

I see, I see. It took me about 5 years to even want to try a drink again. 1 year is not that long, but you just gave simple insight into my problem. I need to stay away for a long time, like years, just give it up untill I dont care about that shit anymore.

My problem is I get sober, then after a month or two I think I can do it again for just 1 day, but that never worked out and always turned into months and months of use. I guess I should just stay away for a few years this time around. I wont be sober, thats for sure, but fuck taking benzos. Or atleast buying bulk cause its cheaper, smart decision ehhh? Only 2 more nights of taking this shit, then I switch to a longer half life one, taking every other day for about a week then Im in the clear, physically atleast.

Good luck out there to ya man 

[shark tits]

congrats Tobey ! do you still smoke weed ?
and thanks again Sharktits for the inspiration to make 100 pushups everyday, i've been doing it for a few months and i feel like Bruce Lee now, you should try it too Tobey !

cheers snake! feels rad and i'm stoked to hear it. i lag on working out during 'skate season' but when it's cold i stave off depression that way. in the past wk i've been jogging to this park and back. according to my moped's odometer it's .5 a mile away so i'm doing a quick mile round trip in 10 minutes or less. for 20 yrs of smoking i never thought i'd be able to keep a trot for that long but it's gotten easier already.

smallpeen hammer, if you drank past the sick feeling you'd be back to alcoholism. tobey's doiing well, encourage that. happy yr, tobey!

on the other side of things, i went on a shameless marathon and frank gallagher makes me wanna throw it all away. i ain't got no money dopeman but i got these bees....

[Iceman]

I see, I see. It took me about 5 years to even want to try a drink again. 1 year is not that long, but you just gave simple insight into my problem. I need to stay away for a long time, like years, just give it up untill I dont care about that shit anymore.

My problem is I get sober, then after a month or two I think I can do it again for just 1 day, but that never worked out and always turned into months and months of use. I guess I should just stay away for a few years this time around. I wont be sober, thats for sure, but fuck taking benzos. Or atleast buying bulk cause its cheaper, smart decision ehhh? Only 2 more nights of taking this shit, then I switch to a longer half life one, taking every other day for about a week then Im in the clear, physically atleast.

Good luck out there to ya man 

if you're serious about straightening out, then your problem is that you think you can come back to whatever it is you temporarily quit. it has to be a permanent change. no special occasions. real talk.

[iKobrakai]

I'm not going to spread the AA idiology here, but it has been working for me for more than 3,5 years now. I had to enterpret and modify it to fit my mind. If you have some brains and are reeeeally desperate, you'll find the means.

Still, for me, there is no such thing as one drink/pill/shot/whatever. Last time I took "just a little", I got kicked out of rehab and entered homelessness in the middle of winter in Sweden. I'm fine without that crap, one day at the time.

[lilpeen]

Im just trying to get through this period and see. Worst one by far, Im doing a warfare with my body style taper, pushing it. I dunno I feel like I made my brain tougher after all these fuck ups, but will probably die early from the stress, like skateboarding. I just want to get better at skateboarding and more in shape so I cant wait to try and get my flip tricks down agian, I feel that will be a good challenge and workout. I will probably be full sober though, cause the only thing I would be interested in is opiates and that would lead to my death probably if I got the hook in me with those.

I found a word that might help people. Rumination. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumination_(psychology)

Need less of that and more postive thought to even out my ying yang shit or whatever. Then my next mission is to work at a car dealership untill Im the guy in the crazy commercials and have the lot named after me. "Welcome to LITTLEPEENFORD, where YOU, can drive away in style, WHOO HEW!"

[L33Tg33k]

I'm searching for a place to live but I'm starting to think it isn't possible with my budget and credit score. At the same time I don't really know what I have to gain by moving out of my mom's anyway. If I could find a place I could afford to live alone I'd most likely just isolate myself more, and I don't know that I would be able to deal with roommates. There are two possible positive outcomes I can think of: I end up spending less money because I pay for a lot of bills at my mom's along with rent, and I might feel more comfortable with the idea of maybe talking to women perhaps (doubtful as fuck). I do know that I'd be a great roommate. I keep to myself and I got subscriptions to Netflix, and all the cable premium channel streams.

[iKobrakai]

I'm searching for a place to live but I'm starting to think it isn't possible with my budget and credit score. At the same time I don't really know what I have to gain by moving out of my mom's anyway. If I could find a place I could afford to live alone I'd most likely just isolate myself more, and I don't know that I would be able to deal with roommates. There are two possible positive outcomes I can think of: I end up spending less money because I pay for a lot of bills at my mom's along with rent, and I might feel more comfortable with the idea of maybe talking to women perhaps (doubtful as fuck). I do know that I'd be a great roommate. I keep to myself and I got subscriptions to Netflix, and all the cable premium channel streams.

Something tells me that you'll be fine.

[Omamori]

I'm searching for a place to live but I'm starting to think it isn't possible with my budget and credit score. At the same time I don't really know what I have to gain by moving out of my mom's anyway. If I could find a place I could afford to live alone I'd most likely just isolate myself more, and I don't know that I would be able to deal with roommates. There are two possible positive outcomes I can think of: I end up spending less money because I pay for a lot of bills at my mom's along with rent, and I might feel more comfortable with the idea of maybe talking to women perhaps (doubtful as fuck). I do know that I'd be a great roommate. I keep to myself and I got subscriptions to Netflix, and all the cable premium channel streams.

If I remember correctly,  you live in San Diego. I actually got a job down there and more looking at apartments. I make too much but I found a income restricted apartments near downtown I believe. It's  $325 and you have to live alone I think.

[Matthew_James]

I sucked a penis while watching a Neil Breen film, and I'm unsure which act God hates more. Anyone wanna take a stab?

[shit_for_brains]

I sucked a penis while watching a Neil Breen film, and I'm unsure which act God hates more. Anyone wanna take a stab?

Definitely the movie.

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

When I can't sleep I like to read scary stories on the internet then I get under my covers and feel safe and imagine I'm in an old cabin in the middle of the woods and it's raining but nothing can get to me because I am safe. I never have nightmares because I am a man

[tobey]

I had a dream last night that i walked in on Dill having sex with a man who had plastic surgery to look like a crocodile. I'm pretty confused sexually now 

[straight]

morning wood or nah tobe?

[tobey]

morning wood or nah tobe?

surprisingly no but now that i think of it the Dill character could have been a homeless dude 

[pencil]

so the outpatient drug court shit that im in has me going to these 1 hr a night classes 2x a week and my counselor is cool as fuck.  Today he wasnt there and I was with another counselor and she fucking confiscated my phone because I pulled it out to check the time.  Now she is turning it into my PO and Im worried he is gonna go through it.  Everyone says if I dont give him the passcode he cant but he can tell me to give him the code or he will violate me.  Its a long shot that he will want to go through it cause the situation is petty af but Im just lowkey worried that my PO is gonna find my dick pics and nudes of this chubby tinder bitch I fucked

I got a cat tho

[pencil]

shit i just remembered i took a picture of my dick after i fucked her on her period so theres that on there too

[tobey]

^Legend we missed you, text me when you get your phone back. I got a new phone and forgot to put yours in

[hufs calve muscles]

I'm 8 months sober from everything. I was prescribed suboxone to deal with the opiates but I feel like it helps so much with my alcoholism. I don't even feel like a drink at all. I'm on 28mg a day. I does make me tired as fuck at times though

Been hitting the gym and love it. Never thought I'd be in my late 30's and be going to a gym.

[hufs calve muscles]

Oh and congrats Tobey. We started at the same time but I slipped up.
A year is amazing. Keep up the good work.

L33t - mental issues and living by yourself is a recipe for disaster. Well in my case it was. Just my 2 cents

[shark tits]

I'm 8 months sober from everything. I was prescribed suboxone to deal with the opiates but I feel like it helps so much with my alcoholism. I don't even feel like a drink at all. I'm on 28mg a day. I does make me tired as fuck at times though

Been hitting the gym and love it. Never thought I'd be in my late 30's and be going to a gym.

congrats hcm!
i'm on 1.5 mgs but even that is kind of a lot. i usually run a half a day about 3 X a wk and i'll eat a whole one once a wk and take 2-3 days off in between. if anything they give me energy but i'm also on a wicked low dose. from what i've read your body can only enjoy up to 8 mgs a day so after that you should stockpile them for when you quit or sell em. i don't think it's healthy to be on such a high dose but i'm not a dr i'm just another scumbag, what do i know?
i don't go to a gym but i'm on that 100 pushups, run a mile, 60 crunchy sit ups and handstand for the length of a song.
i'm hyped on all the pals getting healthy just like when i was screwing up i dug meeting pals similarly inclined.
that's the rad thing about life, whatever you're into you'll find it everywhere.

[iKobrakai]

Expand Quote

I'm 8 months sober from everything. I was prescribed suboxone to deal with the opiates but I feel like it helps so much with my alcoholism. I don't even feel like a drink at all. I'm on 28mg a day. I does make me tired as fuck at times though

Been hitting the gym and love it. Never thought I'd be in my late 30's and be going to a gym.

[close]

congrats hcm!
i'm on 1.5 mgs but even that is kind of a lot. i usually run a half a day about 3 X a wk and i'll eat a whole one once a wk and take 2-3 days off in between. if anything they give me energy but i'm also on a wicked low dose. from what i've read your body can only enjoy up to 8 mgs a day so after that you should stockpile them for when you quit or sell em. i don't think it's healthy to be on such a high dose but i'm not a dr i'm just another scumbag, what do i know?
i don't go to a gym but i'm on that 100 pushups, run a mile, 60 crunchy sit ups and handstand for the length of a song.
i'm hyped on all the pals getting healthy just like when i was screwing up i dug meeting pals similarly inclined.
that's the rad thing about life, whatever you're into you'll find it everywhere.

Trust me, you are probably more fit than half of the bro's at any given gym. Few can run a mile.

I have to share that I reached 3,5 years a while ago. Let's go, Brothers!

[Iceman]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

I'm 8 months sober from everything. I was prescribed suboxone to deal with the opiates but I feel like it helps so much with my alcoholism. I don't even feel like a drink at all. I'm on 28mg a day. I does make me tired as fuck at times though

Been hitting the gym and love it. Never thought I'd be in my late 30's and be going to a gym.

[close]

congrats hcm!
i'm on 1.5 mgs but even that is kind of a lot. i usually run a half a day about 3 X a wk and i'll eat a whole one once a wk and take 2-3 days off in between. if anything they give me energy but i'm also on a wicked low dose. from what i've read your body can only enjoy up to 8 mgs a day so after that you should stockpile them for when you quit or sell em. i don't think it's healthy to be on such a high dose but i'm not a dr i'm just another scumbag, what do i know?
i don't go to a gym but i'm on that 100 pushups, run a mile, 60 crunchy sit ups and handstand for the length of a song.
i'm hyped on all the pals getting healthy just like when i was screwing up i dug meeting pals similarly inclined.
that's the rad thing about life, whatever you're into you'll find it everywhere.

[close]

Trust me, you are probably more fit than half of the bro's at any given gym. Few can run a mile.

I have to share that I reached 3,5 years a while ago. Let's go, Brothers!

struggled to jog 3 blocks to avoid waiting 40 minutes for the next subway train. bummed i gotta work on getting my delusions of being fit back.

[tobey]

Oh and congrats Tobey. We started at the same time but I slipped up.
A year is amazing. Keep up the good work.

L33t - mental issues and living by yourself is a recipe for disaster. Well in my case it was. Just my 2 cents

I slipped up my first couple times before where im at now. Shit happens, just keep it going forward, stoked for your 8 months!

[hufs calve muscles]

Expand Quote

I'm 8 months sober from everything. I was prescribed suboxone to deal with the opiates but I feel like it helps so much with my alcoholism. I don't even feel like a drink at all. I'm on 28mg a day. I does make me tired as fuck at times though

Been hitting the gym and love it. Never thought I'd be in my late 30's and be going to a gym.

[close]

congrats hcm!
i'm on 1.5 mgs but even that is kind of a lot. i usually run a half a day about 3 X a wk and i'll eat a whole one once a wk and take 2-3 days off in between. if anything they give me energy but i'm also on a wicked low dose. from what i've read your body can only enjoy up to 8 mgs a day so after that you should stockpile them for when you quit or sell em. i don't think it's healthy to be on such a high dose but i'm not a dr i'm just another scumbag, what do i know?

I keep reading that I'm on a super high dose. And it scares me how many people tell me it so high.
when I first went into hospital to detox (from both at least a litre of hard liquor and extra wine/port during the day to keep me going - and 40-50 codiene tablets and a few oxys every day) ALL the doctors I saw said I should be on suboxone. About 6-7 doctors told me suboxone would be best.

I have to go into the pharmacy every morning to get my dose and they literally watch you take it to make sure your not stockpiling or selling them. The only time they give me take aways is on the weekends (and that took 6months and piss tests to prove I'm not taking anything else) 90% of the people I line up with are on methadone still.  

So shark tits can you confirm you only take 1.5mgs???  That seems so little. You were on dope right? Do you know many people on subs?  I read a lot online but some first hand (slap - God bless you guys) knowledge would be great. I'm really scared I'm on a super high dose but the doctors (I have to see them every few month to see how I'm going) don't even flinch when they read I'm on 28mgs


Thanks for the support you guys. I hope you all get a great head job for Xmas and find $50 on the ground.

[shark tits]

shit, i'm a person! all this time i thought my pills were 1 mg but they're 8s. took my brother reading it just now. so  i'm on 12 a day but i usually run 4 cause they give me 2 wks at a time and i'm always trying to wean then i fall back into it.
sorry about that but i still am under the impression that you're on a very high dose. my brother asked if you take all 28 mgs at once? that seems ridiculous but i know from the methadone clinic i absconded from prior they like to keep you hooked = job security.
maybe just ask them to drop you a few mgs a wk so ya don't w/d.
i know more people who use em occasionally to get jammed than actual people on em but my brother had a script for a while too.

[hufs calve muscles]

Also the 100 push ups a day thing is so much better going to the gym. Strength training is where it's at. But you guys already know that.

When I first got sober it was hard to do 10 push ups. Over time I just kept it up and now I do 50 at a time probably 3-4 times a day. At work I sneak off and do them in this empty room we have.

Being able to do a lot of push ups/chin ups etc first then hitting the gym is the best. I can bench 80kgs comfortably which I think is ok.  

It's funny cause half the time I'm still in my work/skate clothes at the gym. Jeans in the gym gets you funny looks. God damn there is some major fuck wits that hangout socially at the gym. They do more texting/IG/FBing than actually working out. And just full bro talk out loud!


Sorry if I derailed the thread.

[hufs calve muscles]

shit, i'm a person! all this time i thought my pills were 1 mg but they're 8s. took my brother reading it just now. so  i'm on 12 a day but i usually run 4 cause they give me 2 wks at a time and i'm always trying to wean then i fall back into it.
sorry about that but i still am under the impression that you're on a very high dose. my brother asked if you take all 28 mgs at once? that seems ridiculous but i know from the methadone clinic i absconded from prior they like to keep you hooked = job security.
maybe just ask them to drop you a few mgs a wk so ya don't w/d.
i know more people who use em occasionally to get jammed than actual people on em but my brother had a script for a while too.

Yup all at once. Mine are the strips that dissolve under your tounge. So yours are pills? Thanks mate.

[stabbedbywiggers]

so the outpatient drug court shit that im in has me going to these 1 hr a night classes 2x a week and my counselor is cool as fuck.  Today he wasnt there and I was with another counselor and she fucking confiscated my phone because I pulled it out to check the time.  Now she is turning it into my PO and Im worried he is gonna go through it.  Everyone says if I dont give him the passcode he cant but he can tell me to give him the code or he will violate me.  Its a long shot that he will want to go through it cause the situation is petty af but Im just lowkey worried that my PO is gonna find my dick pics and nudes of this chubby tinder bitch I fucked

I got a cat tho

I dont think your P.O. can legally go through your phone. But fuck it, let em see your dick. Everytime I pissed in the cup I asked him if he liked how it looked/is yours bigger? Somethin like that, they get so mad haha?

Theyre lookin at your dick, not the other way around. Like if you get jammed up and gotta spread the cheeks, just say "so you get paid to look inside assholes all day". I got mashed up against the wall for that but it was funny.

Sorry everyone, continue suboxone discussion.

[iKobrakai]

Also the 100 push ups a day thing is so much better going to the gym. Strength training is where it's at. But you guys already know that.

When I first got sober it was hard to do 10 push ups. Over time I just kept it up and now I do 50 at a time probably 3-4 times a day. At work I sneak off and do them in this empty room we have.

Being able to do a lot of push ups/chin ups etc first then hitting the gym is the best. I can bench 80kgs comfortably which I think is ok.  

It's funny cause half the time I'm still in my work/skate clothes at the gym. Jeans in the gym gets you funny looks. God damn there is some major fuck wits that hangout socially at the gym. They do more texting/IG/FBing than actually working out. And just full bro talk out loud!


Sorry if I derailed the thread.

Wow, got a feeling that you were a Euro or something else odd when you describes the process of the substitution program. Just wanted to say that 28 mgs is quite a lot, your body cannot absorb more that 32 per day. I might be wrong, though, it has been a while.

About the jeans at the gym: avoid it. Unless it is badass, low 80's cutoffs, in which case you must be the bravest fucker out there.

[shark tits]

he's an aussie, mate. you're right about 32, i always thought it was lower but according to my internet research it's 32.
i was having a conversation w/ a girl about this recently. she goes 'i want to run but i'm wearing jeans' and i'm oblivious to that stuff, i jog in my same old man's pants rolled up a little that i would skate in. i feel like an 80s montage if i wore sweatpants every time i was gonna do something athletic but i maybe do look a tad incongruous.
my brother smuggled me out a pair of pants from jail that say WCSO in big letters. those are comfy to jog in, thanks bob barker.