Pretty sure I'm gonna die with my V card. Even when I'm at a party/club and a girl is into me... I'm always too intoxicated and lazy to try and smooth talk. Like no joke, I just left a club where all my bros were pulling for me and giving me lines/tips and shit, because I just wanted to be alone..... so I'm walking down the street to catch a cab, and I run into another cute chick who was leaving the same club, for the same reason, and after starting the convo, all I could fucking say was "Well....... have a good night!"
What the fuck is wrong with me? I honestly need to fuck a hooker and stop being such a bitch around bitches.
because i'm currently retiring my penis and have no more desire to fuck randoms anymore, i'm going to let you in on my pick up secrets.
wittyness and confidence will get you any girl you want. i hate to see this line being over used but it's my never failed line and it's got many girls regretting themselves the next morning.
start it off like this.
1. find your target. see the girl with the unique shoes/dress/hair cut/ etc at the end of the room whose hot as shit. that's the one.
2. approach her, drink in hand is crucial. without a drink you look broke and looking to mooch. remember this.
3. let's say she has a crazy dress on. walk up to her and say the following "well that would've been embarassing. i was going to wear the same dress tonight, how awkward would that have been showing up to the same spot dressed the same"
4. she's put her guard down. she thinks you're hilarious, innocent, and for sure not a sexual predator. you are none of these things! now, the confidence part comes in telling her "but you'd have to go home and change because i look so much better in it and show you up"
5. at this part the witty debate ensues. keep your confidence and not once come on to her. leave this for later.
6. dance floor. god dammit bring that ho to the dance floor.
7. get close, kiss neck for a second...see where it ensues. it usually leads to make outs.
8. if number 7 doesn't work just keep on fucking dancing. worst case scenario she leaves. as if she's not the only girl there. keep searching.
9. if number 7 goes good tell her "i got more drinks at my place, wanna head back and party some more". this ensues you don't want to do it, but you just wanna get your drunk on some more and listen to ja rules greatest hits.
10. bring her home, and if any of her girlfriends/ mother hens try to get all up on your situation tell them "who the fuck said anything bads going to happen? fool, i'm just trying to party/i'm gay so don't worry about it"
11. bring her back, give her a drink, and get your thang did.
12. ride away smooth with your shoulder shrugged and your head dipped. ain't nothan but a g thang.
ps: if all else fails just fake a fucking accent. real talk. in the morning it's hilarious.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1976878 times)