real confessions

[landedprimo]

People are focusing like crazy. Bunch of pussies.

[iKobrakai]

Crazy to focus. I don't have any other place to go, I'm way too regular.

[DanTheDoucher]

Crazy to focus. I don't have any other place to go, I'm way too regular.

People think I'm regular HERE. I can't imagine how regular I would be in a different place.

[iKobrakai]

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Crazy to focus. I don't have any other place to go, I'm way too regular.

[close]

People think I'm regular HERE. I can't imagine how regular I would be in a different place.

Same. Slap provides an outlet for my pro level retardness. Been hiding that shit for two months now at new job but slowly it's coming out...

[50mm]

I don’t know l33t personally but I think he’ll be back. He doesn’t live on slap and he’s proactive about trying to take care of himself.

Buddy I hope you’re doing good too. Sometimes shit just feels heavy but it always passes in the end.

I don’t think we should distract from the butthole licking topic. For all we know these two could be licking some chicks butthole right now. As Dan said if it’s freshly cleaned “you’re all clear kid”.

My confession is part good part bad. I’m pretty much pulling an office space at work lately. I’m not stressing about it. It’s like I just needed to take a moment to look at the big picture and realize it’s just a job and who gives a fuck about it. I shouldn’t be so stressed. I should be getting as much money as I can for as little work as possible. That’s good because the job has caused so much stress over the years. The bad part is it kind of sucks to have to spend 9 hours a day at a place you’ve checked out of mentally. But overall it’s good. Sometimes I just drive home on my breaks for like 30 minutes. Clean up a little or eat and then come back.

[landedprimo]

l33t has been online since that day. I take it they are good and wanting to remain silent atm.

[L33Tg33k]

I'm lurking. Humbled and thankful for the concern. I just have the occasional emotional breakdown. I usually get back up from those by trying to distract myself with irrelevant petty bullshit. That is in no short supply on the ol' Slap boards. Right now I'm bothered by what I perceive to be an uptick posters not knowing the difference between then and than. I want to start an English language writing workshop for Slappers.

[Francis Xavier]

I'm lurking. Humbled and thankful for the concern. I just have the occasional emotional breakdown. I usually get back up from those by trying to distract myself with irrelevant petty bullshit. That is in no short supply on the ol' Slap boards. Right now I'm bothered by what I perceive to be an uptick posters not knowing the difference between then and than. I want to start an English language writing workshop for Slappers.

Glad you're still here and checkin in! Stay up pal!

[50mm]

I'm lurking. Humbled and thankful for the concern. I just have the occasional emotional breakdown. I usually get back up from those by trying to distract myself with irrelevant petty bullshit. That is in no short supply on the ol' Slap boards. Right now I'm bothered by what I perceive to be an uptick posters not knowing the difference between then and than. I want to start an English language writing workshop for Slappers.

Then I’m glad to hear from you. More than you know.

[Ms. Tamzarian]

^

very shalom 50 

Hey confessors, just stoppin by to share big dorky smiles. I hope everyone has a fun weekend 

No juicy confessions for now, cheers to all the butthole festivities tho

[Esquivel]

Quit weed for the first time in 21 years. I am on day 14 now and dreaming has become next level.
I am planning to relapse once i get some work done thats due end of this month but my pet peeve is that among all the crazy dreams i have been having, not one has been of sexual interactions.
The closest i got was last night's dream where i went to some girl's flat and as soon as i entered her gaff i shat my self. Too bad the toilet was a joint space with the kitchen. Woke up as i was trying to reach for my butthole to assess the extent of what felt like diarhea. For a minute i was happy it was only a dream.

[DarthDingusMaximus]

I was in New Jersey along time ago and hooked up with some random street punk chick that was taking photos around town. I popped a clean as fuck fakie frontside flip caught it like a Muska flip. I asked to see the picture as she was following me, looked clean and was psyched on the way she knelt down I could see her panties.

 Well as we are at a bar I told her kinda my story about traveling around and going to a few contests and stayed at her house for 2-3 days I think a weekend. ^{First time I got my ass eaten still don't know how to feel about that one.}    As I was snooping in her closet and found a shitload of punk shirts and stuff that weren't her size. I assumed she must be stepping out of her marriage or boyfriend.

  Fast forward 2 years I am in Connecticut playing in a band with The Virus and Onward to Mayhem, we have a meet and greet before the show starts and introduce each other. Well guess who comes up and sits in guitarists for The Virus lap? I keep it cool and casually ask like oh who is this? blah blah etc oh this is my wife we'll call her (JJ) I have this cool exterior of oh cool guys well nice to meet you guys gotta set up lets have a beer after the show?


 I spoke at the bar with her in hints as to not gain the attention of her old man or friends, I just said oh so that explains those bigger shirts?  She told me she has done this before and in my head I am thinking to myself why is it that ladies that look good are the ones you got to be weary of? 

I know for my part I was wrong to step in on this situation, had I known the dude I would've been hesitant or walked away buttttttt she did look good and her filming wasn't half bad.


We played the show and it got awkward soon thereafter as I had no idea those guys had some stupid ideals and I got into a scrap with the bassist guy from Onward to Mayhem beforehand in St. Paul. In my head I think the guy knew we had met somewhere beforehand and I stonewalled him when he asked if I had been to Jersey I was like yeah passed through but hated it. 

[DanTheDoucher]

My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

[Slugboi22]

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My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

[close]

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

Not quite sure how to interpret this one hahaha

[DanTheDoucher]

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My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

[close]

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

[close]

Not quite sure how to interpret this one hahaha

Vaginas are like snowflakes. They are all different, and there will always be a prettier vag out there than the one you are permitted to penetrate.

[iKobrakai]

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My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

[close]

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

[close]

Not quite sure how to interpret this one hahaha

[close]

Vaginas are like snowflakes. They are all different, and there will always be a prettier vag out there than the one you are permitted to penetrate.

As opposed to those you're not allowed to penetrate? No idea where I'm going with this train of thought so I'm done here...

[smellsdead]

i really dont like cops

i oinked at one in the gas station this morning

im so hardcore

[Slugboi22]

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My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

[close]

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

[close]

Not quite sure how to interpret this one hahaha

[close]

Vaginas are like snowflakes. They are all different, and there will always be a prettier vag out there than the one you are permitted to penetrate.

[close]

As opposed to those you're not allowed to penetrate? No idea where I'm going with this train of thought so I'm done here...

I guess that’s life right haha. Eh could be worse

[DanTheDoucher]

Expand Quote

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My partner’s friend’s vagina is nicer than hers. :/

[close]

The vag is always cleaner on the other side.

[close]

Not quite sure how to interpret this one hahaha

[close]

Vaginas are like snowflakes. They are all different, and there will always be a prettier vag out there than the one you are permitted to penetrate.

[close]

As opposed to those you're not allowed to penetrate? No idea where I'm going with this train of thought so I'm done here...

When I say permitted, I mean the vag (speaking from a heterosexual POV) of your significant other. She has presumably given you the green let to penetrate her vag. Consensual penetration of another vag can end your relationship, and non-consensual penetration of another vag will put you in prison.

Vag penetration is the bane of our existence. Most of us spend our lives penetrating a singular vag, whilst fantasizing about penetrating the vag of just about every other attractive girl we see.

It's weird, wild stuff.

[iKobrakai]

Good, just wanted to hear your reasoning.

[DanTheDoucher]

Good, just wanted to hear your reasoning.

I'm clearly an idiot.

[beatifk]

DanTheDoucher, just judging by his name alone has a lot of vag experience.... y'know, because of all the douchin'.

[DanTheDoucher]

DanTheDoucher, just judging by his name alone has a lot of vag experience.... y'know, because of all the douchin'.

Cleanest vag east of the Mississippi.

[L33Tg33k]

I was in New Jersey along time ago and hooked up with some random street punk chick that was taking photos around town. I popped a clean as fuck fakie frontside flip caught it like a Muska flip. I asked to see the picture as she was following me, looked clean and was psyched on the way she knelt down I could see her panties.

 Well as we are at a bar I told her kinda my story about traveling around and going to a few contests and stayed at her house for 2-3 days I think a weekend. ^{First time I got my ass eaten still don't know how to feel about that one.}    As I was snooping in her closet and found a shitload of punk shirts and stuff that weren't her size. I assumed she must be stepping out of her marriage or boyfriend.

  Fast forward 2 years I am in Connecticut playing in a band with The Virus and Onward to Mayhem, we have a meet and greet before the show starts and introduce each other. Well guess who comes up and sits in guitarists for The Virus lap? I keep it cool and casually ask like oh who is this? blah blah etc oh this is my wife we'll call her (JJ) I have this cool exterior of oh cool guys well nice to meet you guys gotta set up lets have a beer after the show?


 I spoke at the bar with her in hints as to not gain the attention of her old man or friends, I just said oh so that explains those bigger shirts?  She told me she has done this before and in my head I am thinking to myself why is it that ladies that look good are the ones you got to be weary of? 

I know for my part I was wrong to step in on this situation, had I known the dude I would've been hesitant or walked away buttttttt she did look good and her filming wasn't half bad.


We played the show and it got awkward soon thereafter as I had no idea those guys had some stupid ideals and I got into a scrap with the bassist guy from Onward to Mayhem beforehand in St. Paul. In my head I think the guy knew we had met somewhere beforehand and I stonewalled him when he asked if I had been to Jersey I was like yeah passed through but hated it.

Why do you all make getting your ass eaten out into some sort of life reevaluating thing? Just enjoy the sensation. It doesn't make you gay, and even if it did, that just means you opened the door to new experiences with the other half of the population. I'm a 30 year old virgin and I think a bunch you guys are prudes.

[Dwyck]

I got my ass eaten in my last serious relationship and  it was okay. She's going to grad school in London for fashion now I'm proud of her

[iKobrakai]

No ass shit for me, thank you very much. Mind you, I did some gay shit in my early 20's.

[DarthDingusMaximus]

Expand Quote

I was in New Jersey along time ago and hooked up with some random street punk chick that was taking photos around town. I popped a clean as fuck fakie frontside flip caught it like a Muska flip. I asked to see the picture as she was following me, looked clean and was psyched on the way she knelt down I could see her panties.

 Well as we are at a bar I told her kinda my story about traveling around and going to a few contests and stayed at her house for 2-3 days I think a weekend. ^{First time I got my ass eaten still don't know how to feel about that one.}    As I was snooping in her closet and found a shitload of punk shirts and stuff that weren't her size. I assumed she must be stepping out of her marriage or boyfriend.

  Fast forward 2 years I am in Connecticut playing in a band with The Virus and Onward to Mayhem, we have a meet and greet before the show starts and introduce each other. Well guess who comes up and sits in guitarists for The Virus lap? I keep it cool and casually ask like oh who is this? blah blah etc oh this is my wife we'll call her (JJ) I have this cool exterior of oh cool guys well nice to meet you guys gotta set up lets have a beer after the show?


 I spoke at the bar with her in hints as to not gain the attention of her old man or friends, I just said oh so that explains those bigger shirts?  She told me she has done this before and in my head I am thinking to myself why is it that ladies that look good are the ones you got to be weary of? 

I know for my part I was wrong to step in on this situation, had I known the dude I would've been hesitant or walked away buttttttt she did look good and her filming wasn't half bad.


We played the show and it got awkward soon thereafter as I had no idea those guys had some stupid ideals and I got into a scrap with the bassist guy from Onward to Mayhem beforehand in St. Paul. In my head I think the guy knew we had met somewhere beforehand and I stonewalled him when he asked if I had been to Jersey I was like yeah passed through but hated it.

[close]

Why do you all make getting your ass eaten out into some sort of life reevaluating thing? Just enjoy the sensation. It doesn't make you gay, and even if it did, that just means you opened the door to new experiences with the other half of the population. I'm a 30 year old virgin and I think a bunch you guys are prudes.

Well to be honest I wasn't expecting that scenario and it felt weird. For me it felt like having a slug type of feeling worming in my anus. Mind you I didn't complain butttttt I wouldn't ask for it in fear of reciprocating the favor.

[iKobrakai]

Ey! But is not that shit supposed to make you cum in seconds? I heard from prison shit on the internet that it's the craziest feeling ever...

[50mm]

I think it’s pretty good. If you aren’t able to relax it’s not gonna be fun. It’s best when you are just in the zone getting freaky going back and forth. That whole area is sensitive. I said this before in a thread. If a chick wants to toss your salad and you are gonna be a serious thing let her. If you turn down freaky shit like that she will be hesitant to show you all the crazy shit she wants to do in the future. Looking at the timing of the post I was engaging in this illicit activity pretty much at the exact same time it was being discussed on here last night. Wassup!?

[smellsdead]

jelly or syrup though?