real confessions

[verbal ham]

I beat off in the back of my German class Freshman year in the dark while we were watching a movie. Not really a confession, more of a pride type thing. A bragging right I guess.

i beat off in my lifeskills class freshman year




people who don't know shit about me assume im bi-polar ,theres more to it but what the fuck.

[longballlarry]

I beat off in the back of my German class Freshman year in the dark while we were watching a movie. Not really a confession, more of a pride type thing. A bragging right I guess.

what were you watching?

[tonycoxhox]

thats nothing.

 i jacked off 4 times in one school day all in class once. i used my palm and nobody knew.  I HOPE.

[longballlarry]

thats nothing.

 i jacked off 4 times in one school day all in class once. i used my palm and nobody knew.  I HOPE.

that's something.

[tonycoxhox]

ive also jacked off in a room with 600 people and i was sitting right beside a good friend. no one knew.

[ProjectPatrick]

I don't know how it's possible to whack off in a place like a classroom full of people without them noticing.

[tonycoxhox]

i can teach you how if you pay me.

 you just use your palm and wrist. its all in the wrist movement and the i dont care look on your face.

[vicky]

also, i will sometimes look at a thread i posted in repeatedly to see if anyone has said anything about what i just posted.
and it will sometimes take me several minutes to type a reply and i usually look it over like 20 times, and then just decide it's not funny or it's lame or something and just delete that shit. like just now. this shit took me like fucking 4 minutes to write and read over 50 times.

also, ive realized that i have an unhealthy obsession with certain things. seinfeld for example i have managed to include in every day conversations because i know the scripts and episodes so well and i cant think of pretzels and soup and other foods without thinking of seinfeld. slurpees have also been bothering me, ive been trying to think of all these ways to drink them to get the best taste or some shit, like eating them like italian ice or drinking with two straws. i dont even know whats wrong with me anymore.

[cheep]

i wish i could remember friday night at tampa pro... have no recollection of anything between the time i got kicked out of czar bar and 7am when i realized i was deep in the ghetto, had no money, and had to walk over 3 hours to get back to the skatepark.

[LloydChristmas]

also, ive realized that i have an unhealthy obsession with certain things. seinfeld for example i have managed to include in every day conversations because i know the scripts and episodes so well and i cant think of pretzels and soup and other foods without thinking of seinfeld.

same here, but all my friends share the same problem so it's cool.  i tried to say something to a friend the other day about being off the wagon, (or is it <i>on</i> the wagon), and we got completely sidetracked on seinfeld.

[sven thorkel]

thats nothing.

 i jacked off 4 times in one school day all in class once. i used my palm and nobody knew.  I HOPE.

ohh tony. i wish i could pull it off like you. no pun intended

[sergioflorez]

Expand Quote

thats nothing.

 i jacked off 4 times in one school day all in class once. i used my palm and nobody knew.  I HOPE.

[close]

ohh tony. i wish i could pull it off like you. no pun intended

heres my jacking off story. i dont know what went over me but...

fresh of out the operating room a few months ago. my grandma called me down to each lunch in the dining hall. by the time i get there everybody finished eating and went back upstairs. with the dining area to myself, i get this urge to rub my pants. i was real sly at first. with my hand in my pants. then i whip it out and go about my business. finish things off with a table napkin. my emotions got the best of me. i couldn't help it.

[Perfection*]

sergio is all foreign, weird, and cool

[vicky]

i think im afraid of commitment. when i see people holding hands i think its a joke, how can they actually be happy and want to be holding hands? i hope this passes because i dont want to be alone when im older and i dont want to just settle for the sake of settling, but at the moment any kind of relationship makes me want to vomit and i feel like an idiot.

[longballlarry]

i masturbated in an airplane bathroom once.

[EricLogan]

i think im afraid of commitment. when i see people holding hands i think its a joke, how can they actually be happy and want to be holding hands? i hope this passes because i dont want to be alone when im older and i dont want to just settle for the sake of settling, but at the moment any kind of relationship makes me want to vomit and i feel like an idiot.

Shit's dope, don't hate

[hatehatehatehate]

you name it, i have probably masterbated there. planes, in cars, every bathroom at my old school, bathrooms worldwide. just gettin the easy one out of the way. i havnt in a while though. thinking back on it, shit. it was pretty fun. seriously so many places. ahahaha...

[bbk]

I started jacking off in class one time when we watched some movie and I sat in the back, but I finished the job in a bathroom...
one time when i was walking home from the bus stop I was insanely horny for no reason, so I walked in to the woods and did it in the middle of the day... jacking off is totally rad!

[defiantnate]

You haven't lived until you enjoy a jerk at work...

[tonycoxhox]

I started jacking off in class one time when we watched some movie and I sat in the back, but I finished the job in a bathroom...
one time when i was walking home from the bus stop I was insanely horny for no reason, so I walked in to the woods and did it in the middle of the day... jacking off is totally rad!

 yeah man, those sudden urge public jack offs are amazing

[Mackattack]

One time i was staying at my grandmas and i was beatin off in the bathroom. There was a window looking out over the front of the house and i looked out of it for some reason.
My cousin was out in front, and lo and behold, she looked right up at the window as i looked out. She couldnt see the lower half of my body, but needless to say, making eye contact with your cousin while rubbing one out isnt pleasant.

[longballlarry]

yo, masturbation is so hilarious!

[oyolar]

i look forward to watching rob and big and have seen every episode.

same. i don't care if it's scripted, it's hilarious. and i think rob would do some of that shit regardless of the cameras, so i don't feel like he's being fake like bam was.

[ahlee]

yo, masturbation is so hilarious!

imagine someone bursting through the door, and there you are. fwapping like a madman laughing your ass off.

[jesus0nvi4gra]

I don't know how it's possible to whack off in a place like a classroom full of people without them noticing.

I got an HJ in the back of a 2 Door Ford Focus with 5 people in the car, and nobody knew.  It can be done.

[BallDontLie]

Wacked when my ex was sleeping once. She woke up and we made the most awkward eye contact ever. Then she feel back asleep and i kept beating it.

[ahlee]

Wacked when my ex was sleeping once. She woke up and we made the most awkward eye contact ever. Then she feel back asleep and i kept beating it.

my coworker told me he once beat off and nutted onto his sleeping wifes face cause he thought it was hilarious.

a few weeks later he attempted it again and she woke up before he could, and she knew exactly what was up and told him to not even think about it.

[BallDontLie]

Even worse i was wackin it to her friend i saw earlier that day. bitch was fine

[smallest dick here]

my dick is small

[kilgore.]

Expand Quote

I don't know how it's possible to whack off in a place like a classroom full of people without them noticing.

[close]

I got an HJ in the back of a 2 Door Ford Focus with 5 people in the car, and nobody knew.  It can be done.

i lol'd