real confessions

[Hash Slinging Slasher]

thanks guys. it usedta be cause i was a wicked bad alcoholic i'd end up in the ER a lot from mixing but i can't blame that anymore. just carelessness on my part. i appreciate yuz cause everyone's kinda over it in real life. i know better, everyone knows i know better and cause i quit drinking there's less tolerance for my 'relapses' if ya can call it that. because i was able to quit drinking it's assumed i'm not so desperate/out of control so doing dope is like a moral failing on my part. i'm not saying it isn't but also, we all lost a good friend 2 yrs ago to dope [he'd saved my life a few times] so people think i'm an idiot.
i wonder about poor latino now that ya mentioned it jb and hash slinger, when do you come back to school? definitely we should meet up and shred. you'll prolly be too busy to build but i always need a hand w/ that. you're welcome to skate our jimmyrigged spots even if ya don't wanna help bake the bread. apparently a cop told braindead ed that 'if you pour anymore cement i'm hauling your ass to jail' at wormside.
i talk to the other kids there and they're still gonna build but that's a bad omen maybe.

Comin' back Sunday! I was actually looking to maybe get involved in helping out over at worcide with stuff and to get involved with the skate scene so I think I would have time to possibly help out with your stuff too. That seems like a pretty bad sign for worcide though. I thought the city was down for it these days? There was an article about it in Worcester mag and everything. Hopefully just a cop on a power trip.

[shark tits]

yeah, that's how i read it. there's been a lot of junkies running amok around there cause the needle exchange is around the corner and it's a covert spot to do a shot but it's been rockin 7 yrs. i can't see it getting torn down/building moratorium'd unless csx gets mad for some reason. they're a mellow corporation though, i've been caught riding a few times and they never had me arrested. which is more than i can say for norfolk southern and UP.
those kids are cool but definitely hit me up about the street spots. i'd rather blow my artist grant [welfare] on cement than dope but i can skate to the dope spot, need a ride to get them 80 lb bags. we could really hook worcester up!

[Jim and Dan]

cheers to that, ill murray. dope has a stigma attached to it which kinda makes me ostracized and i'd have more DIY helpers otherwise but i can't drink. i had a chat in SF once w/ this guy going on about 'everyone thinks their vice is better than your vice'.
honestly i'm more happy building/skating my city but my crew is small so a lot of times building isn't an option. it's kind of my little self destructive rebellion.
i gotta get my shit straight, get a girl or something. i'm in a rut out here.
halfassed apologized to my friend via the internet. when we were kids some shit went down and he got 4 yrs for something that he shouldn't have and i maybe should have. it's been eating me up over half my life.

I know the struggle Mike, your sentiments echo my own in a very uncanny way . . .

I have my good days & my bad days, sometimes I don't even know how I manage; probably can't even think about such matters.

Also, haven't been on in the past week or so but I was going to mention to you that you should be checking your D extra close, at least 10 people died from OD's last week in Worcester; either a bad or spiked batch.

[shark tits]

yeah jim and dan, that made me want to do it. i tell dr katz 'when you try to scare me w/ od's that just is a commercial for good dope [fentanyl laced?] and you're giving me cravings.
i'd prolly be a lot worse off if i had a steady income, when i get paid i make sure i got a deck and shoes on deck, make an attempt to build and failing that, my plan B ain't so hot. any chance you want to come up this wkend? i went to providence w/ pneumonia, could only do 2 tricks that gasp. well not worth it but i'm over it now. i'd like to install a pyramid at our plaza on sat or sunday. my one buddy's all the time w/ a bad attitude, throwing his board and yelling 'cunt' so it's not a lot of fun but i still wanna skate w/ people.

[hufs calve muscles]

I waited at the hospital for over 4 hours but didn’t get in.  big sign at the front saying that people go in based on how bad condition they are in.
even though I had an appointment booked.  Oh well. gotta see em next month.  Hopefully I get in.

lucky it’s cold as fuck here and I can wear long sleeves.  Had my first taste in AGES the other day. Only reason I did it was because I had valium and oxys to come down on. 

[nice_guy_2]

lucky it’s cold as fuck here and I can wear long sleeves.?  Had my first taste in AGES the other day. Only reason I did it was because I had valium and oxys to come down on.? 

weak

[hufs calve muscles]

"week"   its been a poor week for you posting.

[nice_guy_2]

"week"?  ? its been a poor week for you posting.

hey i thought we were friends?

[hufs calve muscles]

unless your holding and live in Canberra.  i dont

[tobey]

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

[ill_Murray]

unless your holding and live in Canberra.� i dont

Ha.

[Rick Pump]

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

You know if you're discrete about it then fine, but I saw a full grown man child digging for nose gold at the bus stop, after he mined a rich seam he would inspect the find before putting his whole finger in his mouth and chowing down on natures salty self candy. He was actually chewing on them. I could scarcely believe my eyes at the meal he was making of it.

[Bronson]

My urologist prescribed me viagra. Feel like such a healthy young lad 

[hufs calve muscles]

When I was in Thailand I bought this stuff called "black ant"

It's a gel out of a packet. It makes your cock so hard I swear you could focus a board with it.  Fast too.  Anyone else try it?

[Rick Pump]

When I was in Thailand I bought this stuff called "black ant"

It's a gel out of a packet. It makes your cock so hard I swear you could focus a board with it.  Fast too.  Anyone else try it?

I've tried some kind of gel that a friend gave to me, not sure what it was called but it certainly worked, I think my dick could've smashed a diamond.

[dillanharp]

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

This is the worst thing I've read in here... Don't do that Tobey. Do you have other hygiene problems too?

I caught my ex chewing her toenails one night. I got up to take a piss and she was in the living room watching tv, didn't hear me come in I guess. I just shook my head and continued to the bathroom. I got second hand embarrassed for her, the same way I just did reading about your boogers. That was 4 years in to our relationship and was a catalyst to it ending.

[tobey]

Expand Quote

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

[close]

This is the worst thing I've read in here... Don't do that Tobey. Do you have other hygiene problems too?

I caught my ex chewing her toenails one night. I got up to take a piss and she was in the living room watching tv, didn't hear me come in I guess. I just shook my head and continued to the bathroom. I got second hand embarrassed for her, the same way I just did reading about your boogers. That was 4 years in to our relationship and was a catalyst to it ending.

i have been doing it since i was a kid it will probably be hard to stop, i also bite my nails

[SodaJerk]

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

Going to take a stab and say you shouldn't use this material when trying to hook up on Tinder. You're still the best Tobey.

[Rusty_Berrings]

One of the first girls I ever felt up was a fat chick, and lemme tell ya; fat chicks have huge titties. you probably already knew this from looking at the fat girl from afar, but once you got your hands on those things it's all over. once ya go fat you never go back? maybe not, however it wasn't a bad experience. couple years later i hooked up with another fatty. she wouldn't fuck when i wanted to but i think she sweat a lot from me fingering her. kinda gross.

[ill_Murray]

One of the first girls I ever felt up was a fat chick, and lemme tell ya; fat chicks have huge titties. you probably already knew this from looking at the fat girl from afar, but once you got your hands on those things it's all over. once ya go fat you never go back? maybe not, however it wasn't a bad experience. couple years later i hooked up with another fatty. she wouldn't fuck when i wanted to but i think she sweat a lot from me fingering her. kinda gross.

All bacon comes with a little grease, nothing you can do about it.

[EPetrov]

thinkin about gnar'ng a 41 yr old. the things she said she's do...

[Rusty_Berrings]

thinkin about gnar'ng a 41 yr old. the things she said she's do...

how old are you?

[ill_Murray]

thinkin about gnar'ng a 41 yr old. the things she said she's do...

Quit wasting time and get to it.

[JB]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

i pick my nose and eat my boogers

been doing it since forever, i think its more nasty to leave your boogers somewhere else instead of just disposing them easily


that's been eating me up awhile

[close]

This is the worst thing I've read in here... Don't do that Tobey. Do you have other hygiene problems too?

I caught my ex chewing her toenails one night. I got up to take a piss and she was in the living room watching tv, didn't hear me come in I guess. I just shook my head and continued to the bathroom. I got second hand embarrassed for her, the same way I just did reading about your boogers. That was 4 years in to our relationship and was a catalyst to it ending.

[close]

i have been doing it since i was a kid it will probably be hard to stop, i also bite my nails

its pick and flick, not pick and lick.

[L33Tg33k]

A lot of people on this site bum me out. I know that's the pot calling the kettle black, but it's for different reason than most. I come in this forum and I'm bombarded by the dumbest and most short sighted opinions I've ever seen. It really bothers me that such a high percentage of the people here are so vacuous. I think to myself that it can't really be that way. The stupid shit must stand out and skew my observations. Still, I read shit like all the Street League threads and recycled phrases thrown around everywhere and it does something to me. I'm not saying I'm smart. I'm not saying there aren't freakishly well informed people here, but goddamn, I can't be the only one that feels this way. I keep coming here because I've got nothing else to do.

I mean, I'm a fucking idiot. I technically didn't graduate high school. I'm not even qualified for most temp jobs. Maybe all of this is a result of my inability to connect with people. Fuck. Clearly I fell off from my positivity high. I just want the most painless and easiest to pull off way to go.

[Rusty_Berrings]

I just want the most painless and easiest to pull off way to go.

What exactly do you have in mind?

[L33Tg33k]

Plastic hood + draw cord + nitrogen

[shark tits]

Plastic hood + draw cord + nitrogen

an old friend of mine did that and his ex gf/current roommate found him. i don't know what he was saying to her but she's pretty fucked up over it. for anyways, i'd rather see you put out more clips than suicide but for the love of god, do it w/ heroin and it's 'death by misadventure' as opposed to leaving someone to feel guilty.
sometimes everything seems dumb but it's like you're acutely perceiving that dumb shit but when you're doing good you're blithely unaware of it. maybe even dumb yourself. ride it out, kid.

[@thewilleasley]

A lot of people on this site bum me out. I know that's the pot calling the kettle black, but it's for different reason than most. I come in this forum and I'm bombarded by the dumbest and most short sighted opinions I've ever seen. It really bothers me that such a high percentage of the people here are so vacuous. I think to myself that it can't really be that way. The stupid shit must stand out and skew my observations. Still, I read shit like all the Street League threads and recycled phrases thrown around everywhere and it does something to me. I'm not saying I'm smart. I'm not saying there aren't freakishly well informed people here, but goddamn, I can't be the only one that feels this way. I keep coming here because I've got nothing else to do.

I mean, I'm a fucking idiot. I technically didn't graduate high school. I'm not even qualified for most temp jobs. Maybe all of this is a result of my inability to connect with people. Fuck. Clearly I fell off from my positivity high. I just want the most painless and easiest to pull off way to go.

nigga shut yo ass up you aint about to kill anything other than your self esteem. you need to find some hobbies to keep your mind busy & something to give you a little more confidence, cuz it seems like boredom draws you back in to that self-loathing shit. people on SLAP are regular and given my tendency to always try to get the last word I had to learn my damn self that sometimes you just gotta sit back let the clowns do what clowns do. if you got your own stuff going on, niggas can't tell you shit. I got men in their 30's tryna vibe me ona message board regularly & a bunch of cluck ass whiteboys with no muscle mass who don't like me cuz I'm too "sporty". brush that shit off and keep it moving! its hard to worry about the negative when you're fully focused on the positive ya know? honestly some time off of here might do you some good. its really easy to kill too much time on here and i think thats fuckin you up. Boredom is probably one of the top 3 reasons why we behave the way we do. that block of time where we aren't actively engaged in something leads us to thoughts of anxiety so much to the point where do things just to kill time, drugs, etc. just to distract ourselves from those thoughts. when you find something you really like to do, learn to deeply immerse yourself into said activities, and see what you can produce with that type of focus. Honestly i think you should just write a lot. like even if its just a journal or fictional story or something, i think that can be very cathartic for you and you're actually good at it so it would be interesting to see what you would come up with if you were really "locked in" like that


but if there's only one thing you have to take from this post, don't be a fucking dumbass and sit yo non-suicidal ass down. it aint like you got a piece of shit personality I'm sure you would really fuck a lot of people up if you took your own life.

[ttching!]

I'm with d00d on this l33t. This life is what we make of it. You lack a direction for yours right now, & it seems like the root of your struggles. Honestly, I think you should do Treehouse, learn to do coding/web development & get a career going in the near term instead of fucking w/ traditional school. Once you are focused on doing you I think you'll find a lot of the crap which stresses you out & weighs you down will start to disappear.