A lot of people on this site bum me out. I know that's the pot calling the kettle black, but it's for different reason than most. I come in this forum and I'm bombarded by the dumbest and most short sighted opinions I've ever seen. It really bothers me that such a high percentage of the people here are so vacuous. I think to myself that it can't really be that way. The stupid shit must stand out and skew my observations. Still, I read shit like all the Street League threads and recycled phrases thrown around everywhere and it does something to me. I'm not saying I'm smart. I'm not saying there aren't freakishly well informed people here, but goddamn, I can't be the only one that feels this way. I keep coming here because I've got nothing else to do.
I mean, I'm a fucking idiot. I technically didn't graduate high school. I'm not even qualified for most temp jobs. Maybe all of this is a result of my inability to connect with people. Fuck. Clearly I fell off from my positivity high. I just want the most painless and easiest to pull off way to go.
nigga shut yo ass up you aint about to kill anything other than your self esteem. you need to find some hobbies to keep your mind busy & something to give you a little more confidence, cuz it seems like boredom draws you back in to that self-loathing shit. people on SLAP are regular and given my tendency to always try to get the last word I had to learn my damn self that sometimes you just gotta sit back let the clowns do what clowns do. if you got your own stuff going on, niggas can't tell you shit. I got men in their 30's tryna vibe me ona message board regularly & a bunch of cluck ass whiteboys with no muscle mass who don't like me cuz I'm too "sporty". brush that shit off and keep it moving! its hard to worry about the negative when you're fully focused on the positive ya know? honestly some time off of here might do you some good. its really easy to kill
too much time on here and i think thats fuckin you up. Boredom is probably one of the top 3 reasons why we behave the way we do. that block of time where we aren't actively engaged in something leads us to thoughts of anxiety so much to the point where do things just to kill time, drugs, etc. just to distract ourselves from those thoughts. when you find something you really like to do, learn to deeply immerse yourself into said activities, and see what you can produce with that type of focus. Honestly i think you should just write a lot. like even if its just a journal or fictional story or something, i think that can be very cathartic for you and you're actually good at it so it would be interesting to see what you would come up with if you were really "locked in" like that
but if there's only one thing you have to take from this post, don't be a fucking dumbass and sit yo non-suicidal ass down. it aint like you got a piece of shit personality I'm sure you would really fuck a lot of people up if you took your own life.