real confessions

[iKobrakai]

I don't like porn, I jerk off to normal wrestling and boxing matches. I recently started watching chessboxing, and it's such a turn-on to see two nerds fighting each other.

I recently realized I'm sexually attracted to autistic/probably autistic guys. Additionally, I prefer dudes that have a lower interest in sex than I do... so that chopped my list down from about 30 to 3, and the closest one is two hours away. Perfect.

I think I'm only comfortable when I have more power than the other dude, because I'm tired of dudes trying to rape me.

Oh, my! Slap will love you!

[SodaJerk]

Shit, I had a razor scooter before my first skateboard.

[Wizard Fight]

Expand Quote

I don't like porn, I jerk off to normal wrestling and boxing matches. I recently started watching chessboxing, and it's such a turn-on to see two nerds fighting each other.

I recently realized I'm sexually attracted to autistic/probably autistic guys. Additionally, I prefer dudes that have a lower interest in sex than I do... so that chopped my list down from about 30 to 3, and the closest one is two hours away. Perfect.

I think I'm only comfortable when I have more power than the other dude, because I'm tired of dudes trying to rape me.

[close]

Oh, my! Slap will love you!

I already love him because he's a cool human.

[JB]

Expand Quote

Shit, I had a razor scooter before my first skateboard.

[close]

to take it one step further, limp bizkit was my favorite band at that time.

i was also 12 years old and it was 2000.

[SodaJerk]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Shit, I had a razor scooter before my first skateboard.

[close]

[close]

to take it one step further, limp bizkit was my favorite band at that time.

i was also 12 years old and it was 2000.

It's ok JB, this is a safe place, let it all out.

[Cuban_Lynx]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Shit, I had a razor scooter before my first skateboard.

[close]

[close]

to take it one step further, limp bizkit was my favorite band at that time.

i was also 12 years old and it was 2000.

[close]

It's ok JB, this is a safe place, let it all out.

Shit, almost all teens' favorite band was LB around 2000. They even had a song with Method Man. I'm pretty sure I called into TRL for them at least once.

[iKobrakai]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Shit, I had a razor scooter before my first skateboard.

[close]

[close]

to take it one step further, limp bizkit was my favorite band at that time.

i was also 12 years old and it was 2000.

[close]

It's ok JB, this is a safe place, let it all out.

[close]

Shit, almost all teens' favorite band was LB around 2000. They even had a song with Method Man. I'm pretty sure I called into TRL for them at least once.

Well, we did not have a choice. If bands like Slayer and Metallica did not suck so much dick at the time, perhaps things would be different. Actually, to this day I'd rather listen to Korn and Limp Bizkit than Diabolus in Musica and whatever album Metallica had at the time (none?).

[lickcakes]

I already love him because he's a cool human.

<3


Just trying to represent the non-hetero, autistic, gray-asexual, bear-loving agonophiliacs.

[SodaJerk]

I pissed the bed last night. Had been drinking but wasn't even hammered. I'm currently doing about 70 to 80 hours work a week at the moment plus riding my bike to and from work which is around a 16 mile round trip. I've been working like this for nearly six months and I think I'm so exhausted my brain just wouldn't wake up and my body just couldn't hold. Didn't notice until the morning so I had to dupe my wife out of bed (she didn't notice as it wasn't that much pee) and work out a clean up plan.

[Allen.]

The other day I got offered $15-20, dinner (didn't take the dinner due to fear of what Method Man describes as witches brew in 'Rawhide) and some R&R (of which I definitely partook in because I'm awkward as fuck) to get a blowjob on this girl who used to basically stalk me's "dirty snapchat account." I upped her offer to $40. She had me film the whole thing like I was taking a picture of my dick. No face shots. No names. She wanted me to nut in her mouth but I told her since I was filming I wanted to bust on her face. When the time came she was all "Let me see!" but I didn't film that one.
Regardless she has gotten exponentially less and less hot since I met her and it's gotten to the point where I now equate her looks to the dude that floats around the ceiling in Dune. So I busted on her face, it didn't get filmed, she gave me the $40 and I texted her like "yeah I'm not gonna talk to you again."

[iKobrakai]

The other day I got offered $15-20, dinner (didn't take the dinner due to fear of what Method Man describes as witches brew in 'Rawhide) and some R&R (of which I definitely partook in because I'm awkward as fuck) to get a blowjob on this girl who used to basically stalk me's "dirty snapchat account." I upped her offer to $40. She had me film the whole thing like I was taking a picture of my dick. No face shots. No names. She wanted me to nut in her mouth but I told her since I was filming I wanted to bust on her face. When the time came she was all "Let me see!" but I didn't film that one.
Regardless she has gotten exponentially less and less hot since I met her and it's gotten to the point where I now equate her looks to the dude that floats around the ceiling in Dune. So I busted on her face, it didn't get filmed, she gave me the $40 and I texted her like "yeah I'm not gonna talk to you again."

Damn, never knew you were that cool, Allen. I get zero action these days...

[Allen.]

Expand Quote

The other day I got offered $15-20, dinner (didn't take the dinner due to fear of what Method Man describes as witches brew in 'Rawhide) and some R&R (of which I definitely partook in because I'm awkward as fuck) to get a blowjob on this girl who used to basically stalk me's "dirty snapchat account." I upped her offer to $40. She had me film the whole thing like I was taking a picture of my dick. No face shots. No names. She wanted me to nut in her mouth but I told her since I was filming I wanted to bust on her face. When the time came she was all "Let me see!" but I didn't film that one.
Regardless she has gotten exponentially less and less hot since I met her and it's gotten to the point where I now equate her looks to the dude that floats around the ceiling in Dune. So I busted on her face, it didn't get filmed, she gave me the $40 and I texted her like "yeah I'm not gonna talk to you again."

[close]

Damn, never knew you were that cool, Allen. I get zero action these days...

Trust me I'm not

[Uncle Guss]

Moved to LA for the summer for an internship and now im just feelin lonely af. like i miss my friends and am starting to miss just the concept of having friends. I drove out here with some homies and a girl i'd been crushing on since highschool (they drove out here with me for the road trip), ended up fucking her in a tent outside the grand canyon and catching feelings extra hard, and now that theyre all back home shits extra lonely. like watching snapchat and instagram videos are almost painful cause its just watching them all enjoy life while im just working and wasting away by myself. I mean i'll be back home in a couple months but i might end up having to move out here later, and i have no idea how to make friends anymore this shit is gonna fuck my mental up.

fuck it ima spend all my money on concert tickets and start going to shows solo

[perverted super otaku!]

^ All i can say is if you don't smoke weed, start, it helps a lot, if you already do maybe try smoking a lot more and watching old King of the Hill episodes until you feel better.

Take care of yourself Soda!, that must have been a bit disconcerting. I quite literally shit the bed when I had the flu once... diarrhea of course too   

[Jim and Dan]

Moved to LA for the summer for an internship and now im just feelin lonely af. like i miss my friends and am starting to miss just the concept of having friends. I drove out here with some homies and a girl i'd been crushing on since highschool (they drove out here with me for the road trip), ended up fucking her in a tent outside the grand canyon and catching feelings extra hard, and now that theyre all back home shits extra lonely. like watching snapchat and instagram videos are almost painful cause its just watching them all enjoy life while im just working and wasting away by myself. I mean i'll be back home in a couple months but i might end up having to move out here later, and i have no idea how to make friends anymore this shit is gonna fuck my mental up.

fuck it ima spend all my money on concert tickets and start going to shows solo

                                 Welcome to the Big Show my friend . . .

[SodaJerk]

^ All i can say is if you don't smoke weed, start, it helps a lot, if you already do maybe try smoking a lot more and watching old King of the Hill episodes until you feel better.

Take care of yourself Soda!, that must have been a bit disconcerting. I quite literally shit the bed when I had the flu once... diarrhea of course too� �

I'm an occasional weed smoker. The problem with that though is nearly any weed available here is gonna be skunk or some other high grade stuff that really doesn't always sit well with me. If I can get my hands on some hash or something like that it's cool but anything green here is a crapshoot as to potency and effects. We're innit so exhausted and under such pressure I'd probably be fine with any old weed but my mind races on most stuff when I'm this wound up.

[perverted super otaku!]

I suggested weed for the lonely LA dude  . Never the less, you bring up an interesting point though. I think weed just makes you look at yourself or aspects of yourself in a way that you normally try avoid sober. It's pretty painful at first but after a couple sessions you accept those aspects of your reality, which I think might be a good thing. I was watching this documentary on Moroccan hash producers and one of the farmers said in regards to his nightly toke storm, "I hold court with myself". People call it anxiety but i'm not sure that is the right word.

[iKobrakai]

Speaking of moving elsewhere, I've recently done the same thing. I wake up at 05:40 and get "home" at around 19:00. During the week, I don't really care much about solitude, I work out, cook something and not much time is left before I go to bed. Problem is, if it is a problem, weekends are kind of scary. I don't know anyone here, don't have my console here, don't drink or do drugs anymore, so I skate for a few hours then head back. Even the lady I rent the room from is having a wilder life, gets home when I'm already asleep and probably has more fun than I do.

I'm well aware that life is what make of it, but damn, son! I just graduated at the age of 29 with a Masters in Accounting, working at an insurance company, so I know that building a career and getting somewhere takes ages. Oh, well, all things considered, my ass is lucky to be in this spot, don't think I could have survived many more years of OD's and misery, anyway.

/rant

[swag nollies]

Im lonely as fuck too guys. I havent had a friend that skates in 5 years, and all my other friends moved away recently. Havnt had a job in 9 months so I havnt even had a conversation with a person in like 2 weeks, its crazy. But I filled some applications yesterday and it was nice just talking to the girls that worked there real quick and made me feel normal and reminded me how much I like people. Im not really a social butterfly but I love people. I just need a fucking job and network from there.

 

[straight]

I just shaved my chest and immediately regret it

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

I just shaved my chest and immediately regret it

wait until you try shaving your anus (in the middle of summer)

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

I tried that once, I think it only works if you're in shape cause I just ended up looking like a giant fat depressed baby. Also I shaved my ass once and it felt kinda cool when I would walk around and my bald ass cheeks rubbed together I felt like I could run super fast very low wind resistance on my bhole

[Uncle Guss]

I suggested weed for the lonely LA dude  . Never the less, you bring up an interesting point though. I think weed just makes you look at yourself or aspects of yourself in a way that you normally try avoid sober. It's pretty painful at first but after a couple sessions you accept those aspects of your reality, which I think might be a good thing. I was watching this documentary on Moroccan hash producers and one of the farmers said in regards to his nightly toke storm, "I hold court with myself". People call it anxiety but i'm not sure that is the right word.

True, i kinda slowed down on weed a while back cause of those kinda thoughts, but ive been on a self improvement kinda kick recently so thats probably what i need.

I tried that once, I think it only works if you're in shape cause I just ended up looking like a giant fat depressed baby. Also I shaved my ass once and it felt kinda cool when I would walk around and my bald ass cheeks rubbed together I felt like I could run super fast very low wind resistance on my bhole

i wanna shave my ass but i cant think of a easy way to do it. do you use a mirror, like laying on your back with your legs up in the air like youre ready to get penetrated? or do you just kinda reach behind your back and go by touch? maybe i should just nair the whole area

[swag nollies]

maybe i should just nair the whole area

DONT. Unless you like your gooch to peel off. Just hit it with the trimmer, ass hair is there for a reason, trust. If you bic it youll see what I mean.

[shit_for_brains]

Do NOT shave your ass.

[Squirrel Girl]

Do NOT shave your ass.

True, your flatulence will become much more audible, and impossible to muffle.


I eat over 4,000 calories a day due to road biking 2-4 hours a day plus skating. Every morning at work enormous amounts of human waste are excreted multiple times. Often diarrhea. Suzie, the insufferable petty breeder bitch who spawned five fuck trophies from five different donors has taken to making passive aggressive comments about my predicament. Secretly I take pleasure in her disgust, and will continuously poop as I please until I'm dead or fired. Fuck you, Suzie no one wants to see more pictures of your kids.

[JB]

Expand Quote

Do NOT shave your ass.

[close]

True, your flatulence will become much more audible, and impossible to muffle.


I eat over 4,000 calories a day due to road biking 2-4 hours a day plus skating. Every morning at work enormous amounts of human waste are excreted multiple times. Often diarrhea. Suzie, the insufferable petty breeder bitch who spawned five fuck trophies from five different donors has taken to making passive aggressive comments about my predicament. Secretly I take pleasure in her disgust, and will continuously poop as I please until I'm dead or fired. Fuck you, Suzie no one wants to see more pictures of your kids.

just start calling her Sooze. that'll get her.

[shit_for_brains]

Expand Quote

Do NOT shave your ass.

[close]

True, your flatulence will become much more audible, and impossible to muffle.


I eat over 4,000 calories a day due to road biking 2-4 hours a day plus skating. Every morning at work enormous amounts of human waste are excreted multiple times. Often diarrhea. Suzie, the insufferable petty breeder bitch who spawned five fuck trophies from five different donors has taken to making passive aggressive comments about my predicament. Secretly I take pleasure in her disgust, and will continuously poop as I please until I'm dead or fired. Fuck you, Suzie no one wants to see more pictures of your kids.

She makes comments about the frequency and volume of your shitting?

[Mongoloid]

Expand Quote

Do NOT shave your ass.

[close]

True, your flatulence will become much more audible, and impossible to muffle.


I eat over 4,000 calories a day due to road biking 2-4 hours a day plus skating. Every morning at work enormous amounts of human waste are excreted multiple times. Often diarrhea. Suzie, the insufferable petty breeder bitch who spawned five fuck trophies from five different donors has taken to making passive aggressive comments about my predicament. Secretly I take pleasure in her disgust, and will continuously poop as I please until I'm dead or fired. Fuck you, Suzie no one wants to see more pictures of your kids.

So then if its out of the way in the morning, is it party time in the afternoon/evening? Inquiring mind's want to know more about your bowels/butthole.

[AnotherHardDayAtTheOffice]

Moved to LA for the summer for an internship and now im just feelin lonely af. like i miss my friends and am starting to miss just the concept of having friends. I drove out here with some homies and a girl i'd been crushing on since highschool (they drove out here with me for the road trip), ended up fucking her in a tent outside the grand canyon and catching feelings extra hard, and now that theyre all back home shits extra lonely. like watching snapchat and instagram videos are almost painful cause its just watching them all enjoy life while im just working and wasting away by myself. I mean i'll be back home in a couple months but i might end up having to move out here later, and i have no idea how to make friends anymore this shit is gonna fuck my mental up.

fuck it ima spend all my money on concert tickets and start going to shows solo

I've been moving around a lot for the past couple of years and had to make friends in new places, so yeah: been there, done that. Here's my advice for when you're feeling exactly the way you're feeling right now.

1) Realize that these periods come and go. Most people go through lonely phases in their lives. It's not unusual and it's also not forever.

2) While you're there, make the best of it. Instead of thinking "It's a Friday night, I need to hang out with someone, but noone's there", do whatever the fuck you feel like. Sweatpants, a bottle of wine, and some movie/book you've always wanted to watch/read? Learning a new language? You got time for it now. Besides, plenty of people spend their Friday or Saturday nights that way on their own accord. Nothing to feel guilty about.

3) If you wanna meet new people and you don't make friends easily, join groups of whatever you're into. You're learning a new language? Find a tandem partner. You're into books? There's reading groups. If you're into sports, it's really, really easy. I know that finding skate buddies in LA isn't easy, but that's another thing you have in common with people. And there's always Tinder...

4) If none of this works, just visit your friends wherever they are. It might not be convenient and it might not be cheap, but it's gonna make you feel way better.