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I flew back to my hometown on Monday and was itching to go to the local park I grew up skating. Rolled up there yesterday, got told that from now onward every second Thursday of the month is a girls skate only day & that I had to leave.
Unfortunately got into an argument with a load of people there and ended up just skating the car park with the other dudes that were turned away. The people organizing it said that female skaters often get intimidated by guys skating the park, which I suppose I can't relate to being male myself. I've never witnessed any hostility towards female skaters at that (or any) park, but then again this is just my perspective.
Trying to work out whether or not my annoyance was justified? or am I overreacting
Its a privately funded park (however its unsupervised, free to enter and open 24/7) so its entirely legit for them to establish rules like this, but this a park I spent virtually every day of my youth in and I'm now finding myself being turfed out due to my gender. I suppose it pissed me off because I'm used to being able to roll up to the park whenever I please.
Being mildly annoyed would seem normal in this situation, but letting it get to the point of arguing with a group of people over it seems a bit much. Cant say whether you overreacted or not, since arguments are 2 sided, but I think the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to say "okay, very well then, Ill be on my way", the moment they informed you the park was closed for a private event. All legalities aside, It shouldn't really matter to you WHY the park was closed. You ultimately did the right thing by respecting their wishes and leaving, but arguing with them lowered you stature as a gentleman, and you NEVER let anyone put you in a position to do that. While I understand WHY these girls think they need an exclusive night for themselves, I disagree and think they went a bit far kicking dudes out. Ladies, if you want to have an all-girl, estrogen fueled skate extravaganza, every single night of the week, GREAT! Please do.
Trust me, the dudes will back this fully, but once you start tossing dudes out of the sesh, it becomes counterproductive to your cause. You lower your stature as ladies and give off the appearance that you can't handle real life situations. You want a certain level of comfort before entering the wild world of skateboarding? I get it. It makes sense, I guess. It's just so fucking WEAK. Sheltering yourself from the harsh realities of skatepark life early on can only set you up for rude awakenings down the line. Its unnatural. And just know this, one of the coolest things to see at a skatepark these days is a lady in the lineup, ripping right along side the fellas.
Times are changing guys, and skateboarding, like many things in life are becoming wussified to accommodate all these fragile little butterflies out there. Whatever, in this case, I say give it to them. I may not agree with their approach, but at the end of the day, more females in skateboarding is a great thing. How they get here is less important than them making it, IMO. With that said, let's give these ladies a break, cause it all boils down to a little respect and compassion for your fellow human being, on and off the board.
Words of a man who will be divorced a few years after claiming “happy wife, happy life”
Yeah, you might wanna double check your math on that one, bud. Been married to the same woman for well over a decade now, if you care to know the truth. I am curious how you arrived at that conclusion and how you could be so far off base, though. Are you married? I find it interesting that you toss "happy wife, happy life" out there like it's a bad thing. Unless I misunderstood you. Would you be a sport and elaborate a little more for us?
I understand and accept that snark takes priority over facts here on SLAP, but before you make another smart-ass remark, consider this.
"Happy wife, happy life" can be interpreted many different ways. And people tend to project their own world view into situations and essentially "see what they want to see".
If you interpret that phrase as anything other than "I'm secure enough within my manhood, to concede smaller battles in order to win the war", then I'm afraid we don't see eye to eye.
Dont get me wrong, there are definitely, soft, pussy-whipped, spineless, ball-less, beta males out there living to suplicate their women, saying that shit too. They accept that she doesn't respect him, won't stay loyal, and doesn't really love him, but uses him for material gain, while she gets dick from the Alpha in her life. That's a lifestyle they've chosen or perhaps they've yet to figure out.
For most of us married men, we walk a fine line when it comes to conflict resolution with our ladies. We have to decide in a given moment whether it is more advantageous to be "right" or be "happy". When it really matters, like in matters of respect and loyalty, I say be "right" ALL the time. When it's less significant, and the severity of the worst possible outcome is trivial, it often makes more sense to stand down and concede victory in order to keep the peace. In other words, it's not always worth it to hurt someone's feelings, or upset them, just to make whatever point you're trying to make to win the argument. Although sometimes it is absolutely necessary. It's the emotional equivalent of squaring up with someone and deciding whether it is necessary to fight or walk away.
Being a man is being able to distinguish in the heat of the moment, which course of action to take. Read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, where he talks about emotional credits and debits, it's quite interesting.
As it all relates to the situation at hand, I think it is best summarized by Gloria, in the film "White Men Cant Jump":
Watch ""White Men Can't Jump" Win/Lose" on YouTube