Author Topic: SOBRIETY  (Read 21905 times)

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iKobrakai

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #360 on: April 11, 2022, 11:48:27 PM »
Since I finally found a decent work-life balance Iíve been able to cut down booze and weed A LOT.

Total sobriety always seemed a bit forced to me.
I totally respect those who do it tho of course, and I was influenced by SxE bands when I was younger.

But yeah I basically cut everything down to the weekend and even then itís not what it used to be unless Iím on holiday or thereís a particular celebration.

No more half bottles of bourbon on Tuesday nights and ounces of weed.
No more shots of Jager with drops of benzos on mornings while wfh.

I always knew there was something off when I was doing it that way. It was my reaction to a life and a society I couldnít keep up with. To keep my mind limber you know?

But fuck yeah Iím so happy about myself. At some point Iím gonna quit cigs tho, those are the most subtle and stupid bullshit. I will get there.

Big up to everyone Ďexposingí their weaknesses and even if just one person (even lurkers) read this and get somehow inspired by it that would make my day Iím telling you.

Choose life.

Gotta find whatever works for you.

I wish I could just smoke weed or some shit, but no dice. Even in sobriety I end up obsessing about shit, like Randy. I can't just train, I have to deadlift 500 lbs, squat despite shoulder and knee pain. Chemical substancies are beyond my control, even caffiene and Mc Donalds is hard to handle.

But, again, I stricktly pro best method to achieve ones goal. If it works, it work.

Prostate Exam

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #361 on: April 12, 2022, 01:14:22 AM »
I went through about 11-12 years of heavy drinking, especially on weekends.

Every weekend I went out partying with my friends and binge drink both friday and saturday evening. Every sunday was a nightmare that I usually spent in bed.
I slowly started developing a habit of drinking every day. I would crush a 6 pack of tall cans on a normal weekday and then on weekends I had no limits.

I was never the street-drug kinda person, booze was my way to let loose. I never touched anything but a bit of green and alcohol, most of my friends though started doing blow, ecstasy and all that shit.

When I was around 25 it started getting very serious. The hangovers were getting worse and worse and my body was showing some weird symptoms. I had twitches and muscle pains all over my body but the worst symptom was the anxiety.

Every sunday after a heavy weekend I would get so fucking scared. First it was just hypochondria. I would spend all week calling doctors and self-analyzing and googling symptoms. Every week it was a different disease.

I was convinced that I had brain cancer, colon cancer, ALS or MS. Pretty much any disease you can think of I was convinced of having it at one point. I spent a shitton of money on doctors and self medication, but deep within myself I knew that all this shit came from drinking and not taking care of myself.

After years and years of fullblown hypochondria I developed a new form of anxiety. I never really experienced any memory loss from drinking only when the night was seriously bad.

In 2018 I spent 4 days drinking and skating at a contest and when I came home I went into full blown paranoia. My friend called me and said "Don't you remember? We facetimed at around 5am in the morning and you were bla bla bla..."

I did not remember any of that and I started getting scared. What if I did something bad while I was shitfaced and don't remember it anymore. What if I hurt somebody?

I was searching for evidence. I would read the news, searching my pockets of the pants that I wore that weekend. Every bloodstain on my clothes, that evidently was my blood that stemmed from an injury that I got while skating, I was convinced that it was the blood of a person that I hurt.

I was never a bad drunk, I was always very calm and would behave. I never got into fights or any altercation, but somehow I was so afraid of messing everything up. Eventhough there wasn't any serious evidence of any fight or stupid behavior.

I was getting freaked out when I heard police sirens or saw a cop looking at me. I couldn't sleep and every night I would go out and walk around with no direction.

At that point I quit drinking cold turkey and went to a psychiatrist. After about a month of sobriety I was developing serious health problems and had to go to the hospital. My appendix almost burst and I was completely fucked up. I had to get three surgeries and couldn't do shit.

One day when I woke up at the hospital, two cops were in the room starring at me. My heart almost exploded. They weren't saying a word, they were just standing there waiting for something. I was convinced they were coming to arrest me for whatever.
Then the door opened and the guy that was with me in the room came in after his kidney stone removal. Turned out, the cop was his sister and took a break from her duty to come and visit her brother.

This was one of the bad situations of all the anxiety that I went through and I had to get clean.

I would quit cold turkey for several months and then would "allow" me to have some drinks. But every time I would just slowly get back into binge drinking. My anxiety would kick back in full blown after some heavy nights.

I then managed to quit for two years and had a lot of time to think about the whole situation and sobriety really helped me out a lot. But I didn't want to turn into this sobriety-advocate so I would allow myself two to three beers on a day off.
No binge drinking anymore, no all-nighters anymore and so far it worked out.

Now if I notice any sign of anxiety kicking in, I will pull the brakes immediately and quit for months and relax. But I don't want to cut out alcohol completely. I take it as a treat after a good session or a heavy work week, or maybe have a glass of wine or beer with a good dinner.

The one thing that really helped me through all of this was skateboarding. Without it I would probably have ended up in an insane asylum. And I have to tell you, you skate 10 times better when you're not hung-over or drunk.

Your muscles regenerate a lot quicker and you can focus a lot better.

At this point I am just trying to regulate everything and see where it will take me. Maybe I will go through phases of anxiety again and quit or maybe I can stick to my rules and drink occasionally on weekends.

RottenToTheCore

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #362 on: April 19, 2022, 06:07:00 AM »
Quit cigarettes, weed and alcohol simultaneously 26 days ago, feels great

Easy Slider

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #363 on: April 19, 2022, 07:21:21 AM »
Quit cigarettes, weed and alcohol simultaneously 26 days ago, feels great

Great achievement!
why come?

Life is too short to be angry at the Shrimp Blunt intro

beatifk

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #364 on: April 19, 2022, 07:31:36 AM »
I can't go full sobriety but the last time I went out with a friend he kept pressuring me, "one more drink", as he usually does. I had 1 beer earlier in the day with lunch, then drank a coke at the second stop, then a cocktail at the 3rd stop, but he kept saying, "let's go for another..." and it's true, it was only like 5pm at that moment, and I wasn't quite ready to head home so I told him I would have a tea. I ordered a hot green tea at the last bar near his place. It was actually pretty satisfying. I felt like a responsible adult.

And on Sunday I woke up early, with no headache, played some guitar and went skating for a few hours in the afternoon.

My friend went out with another friend after I left and he said he spent all of Sunday in bed basically. He's over 10 years younger than me.

I think this tea trick will be my new go-to.

And also, not keeping any booze at home. I do buy Coca-Cola as a substitute, so I'm kinda trading one poison for another, but coke doesn't make me feel like complete shit the next day, so I'll take it as a win for now.

I did however plant my yearly summer weed crop, but mostly that's just a fun hobby and I end up giving most of it away to friends. And my current crop of mushies are coming in nicely. I practice selective sobriety I guess. Alcohol is easily the substance that makes me feel worst.


RottenToTheCore

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #365 on: April 21, 2022, 03:49:37 AM »
Bought a six pack of tall cans and cigarettes last night and I already regret it, don't think I can handle doing shit in moderation

El Fapinator

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #366 on: April 23, 2022, 07:20:24 AM »
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.
Dueces Bitch's

iKobrakai

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #367 on: April 24, 2022, 03:03:22 AM »
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.

Can't say I can relate, but keep doing what you've been doing so far.

Abyss1

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #368 on: April 25, 2022, 09:03:30 AM »
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.

I might be different, but I find people who are seeking that kind of attention aren't really healthy, probably better off finding some girl who doesn't have pics of her getting bukakke'd out on the net.  I got an ex who is trying to sell candles and oils to those crystal mommys and another who is thirst trapping in her late 30s and I think I missed a bullet breaking up with them

I also find a lot of that thirst trap shit that goes down on IG and OnlyFans is super cringe.


El Fapinator

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #369 on: April 26, 2022, 05:51:54 PM »
Expand Quote
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.
[close]

I might be different, but I find people who are seeking that kind of attention aren't really healthy, probably better off finding some girl who doesn't have pics of her getting bukakke'd out on the net.  I got an ex who is trying to sell candles and oils to those crystal mommys and another who is thirst trapping in her late 30s and I think I missed a bullet breaking up with them

I also find a lot of that thirst trap shit that goes down on IG and OnlyFans is super cringe.
This guy gets it, I realize sheís probably not the healthiest of people and for that it makes me sad.  However Iím glad to be on this journey for now, Iím not really trying to be with anyone else.

Yeah I can bang some random hoes not that Iím down for being a man whore just Iím not trying to marry or be with anyone else for the foreseeable future.

Onlyfans and other thirst traps are highly cringe, sure I can look at random boobs via Reddit or on a hiking trail,  seen that movie Roll Models? Yeah Iím that dude who has 360 vision for some boobs.
Dueces Bitch's

Abyss1

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #370 on: April 27, 2022, 10:53:25 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.
[close]

I might be different, but I find people who are seeking that kind of attention aren't really healthy, probably better off finding some girl who doesn't have pics of her getting bukakke'd out on the net.  I got an ex who is trying to sell candles and oils to those crystal mommys and another who is thirst trapping in her late 30s and I think I missed a bullet breaking up with them

I also find a lot of that thirst trap shit that goes down on IG and OnlyFans is super cringe.
[close]
This guy gets it, I realize sheís probably not the healthiest of people and for that it makes me sad.  However Iím glad to be on this journey for now, Iím not really trying to be with anyone else.

Yeah I can bang some random hoes not that Iím down for being a man whore just Iím not trying to marry or be with anyone else for the foreseeable future.

Onlyfans and other thirst traps are highly cringe, sure I can look at random boobs via Reddit or on a hiking trail,  seen that movie Roll Models? Yeah Iím that dude who has 360 vision for some boobs.

wanting to keep things healthy is good thing and I've tried that a few times myself to no avail.   It's crazy to me to think that some people don't care about the people they break up with after they've broken up. 

Trust me I like looking at beautiful women too and have and usually find that most porn sites usually handles any itch to see a certain type of woman naked or being stuffed.  Just think its super wack when regular ass people who are not porn stars or model tries to make themselves out to look like someone who was featured in Playboy or Hustler. 


El Fapinator

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #371 on: April 27, 2022, 02:34:17 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
So Iím 35 dayís in to sobriety and I am cruising, however the other day I was on a fetish site looking around, who do I see?

My recent  exgf was on there with her new man and degraded holes varieties of nudes as well as dudes spunk on what was mine?! Yeah Iím a tiny bit jealous lol Iíll admit with much chagrin that small piece of me is mad.

I remind myself of what I have lost and I donít want anymore, fuck I hate that I have a heart.
[close]

I might be different, but I find people who are seeking that kind of attention aren't really healthy, probably better off finding some girl who doesn't have pics of her getting bukakke'd out on the net.  I got an ex who is trying to sell candles and oils to those crystal mommys and another who is thirst trapping in her late 30s and I think I missed a bullet breaking up with them

I also find a lot of that thirst trap shit that goes down on IG and OnlyFans is super cringe.
[close]
This guy gets it, I realize sheís probably not the healthiest of people and for that it makes me sad.  However Iím glad to be on this journey for now, Iím not really trying to be with anyone else.

Yeah I can bang some random hoes not that Iím down for being a man whore just Iím not trying to marry or be with anyone else for the foreseeable future.

Onlyfans and other thirst traps are highly cringe, sure I can look at random boobs via Reddit or on a hiking trail,  seen that movie Roll Models? Yeah Iím that dude who has 360 vision for some boobs.
[close]

wanting to keep things healthy is good thing and I've tried that a few times myself to no avail.   It's crazy to me to think that some people don't care about the people they break up with after they've broken up. 

Trust me I like looking at beautiful women too and have and usually find that most porn sites usually handles any itch to see a certain type of woman naked or being stuffed.  Just think its super wack when regular ass people who are not porn stars or model tries to make themselves out to look like someone who was featured in Playboy or Hustler.
Or worse yet some trafficked whore who has no shame for oneís self. For me itís a conundrum and a paradox, lol what I mean is you think youíd know someone through and through yet something you find thatís mind blowing like wtf?$ I didnít see that coming?!

Makes for well shit who was that person? I spent 12 years with?!
Dueces Bitch's

igrindtwinkies

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #372 on: May 13, 2022, 01:34:23 AM »
I'm six months and a week off alcohol.  I still smoke weed and take kratom once a week.  Been skating three to four times a week.  Feeling pretty good.

IusedToSkateMore

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #373 on: May 13, 2022, 11:30:16 AM »
I'm six months and a week off alcohol.  I still smoke weed and take kratom once a week.  Been skating three to four times a week.  Feeling pretty good.

That's what's up, man. Good for you. Ive only ever done toss and wash Kratom and it leaves me feeling kind of gross, so I steer clear. But ya gotta do what works!!!
stay high, lay low

boi-cuzudo

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #374 on: Today at 09:32:23 AM »
I'm going full straight edge mode from now own, I'm enjoying being sober and am trying to reconnect with my feelings/emotions/body/soul

Easy Slider

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #375 on: Today at 02:16:07 PM »
I'm going full straight edge mode from now own, I'm enjoying being sober and am trying to reconnect with my feelings/emotions/body/soul

why come?

Life is too short to be angry at the Shrimp Blunt intro

boi-cuzudo

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #376 on: Today at 04:38:01 PM »
Expand Quote
I'm going full straight edge mode from now own, I'm enjoying being sober and am trying to reconnect with my feelings/emotions/body/soul
[close]



fuck yeah