Figured out that me and liquor don't mix. Used to drink a handle and a half and ~45 beers a week and I was a total piece of shit asshole while drunk, and spent my days in a state of crazy anxiety until my first drink. Now I drink three natty daddy's a night, which isn't great, but the anxiety isn't so bad and is vastly cheaper. I'm not an asshole while drinking either, and don't black out, waking up worrying about what I said.
So it's better but not ideal. I don't have health insurance so I can't really seek help that way at the moment, but getting rid of liquor has been very good for me. Baby steps.