I’ve really dropped the ball this semester and it’s compounded to the extent that I feel as though I’ve committed career suicide and I don’t know how to proceed.
I’m in an English graduate program earning a secondary teaching certification along the way. This is my last semester of coursework in the school of education before doing full-time student teaching next semester (at least that’s how it’s supposed to go...). I entered this semester carrying a 4.0 in my Master’s program, and was a diligent student throughout undergrad, but I’m on the verge of failing all my classes this semester for no good reason. I can blame COVID for restricting my access to work spaces away from home, but otherwise the pandemic hasn’t had too much of an effect on my mental health or ability to be productive in other areas of my life. I’ve just been incredibly lazy and unable to motivate myself to do any work aside from lesson preparation for my part-time student teaching placement, which is the one thing that’s going well. However, for my full-time placement to be finalized next semester, I need to have all my coursework completed with a B or better, and there’s just no way I’m going to be able to catch up in 3 out my 4 classes. My co-op teacher, who I get along with quite well, is counting on me to cover the two of her classes I’ve been teaching over the past couple months, and I’m set to take on 2 more with another teacher. This is at an IB school, in the setting I’ve always wanted to teach in, and I fear I’m going to be a massive disappointment due to failing classes and being ineligible to take on the placement. I’ve met with all my professors throughout the course of the semester to establish catch-up plans that I didn’t stick to and I’m just ignoring tasks due to the overwhelming hole I’ve dug myself in. All I want to do is veg out on the couch and sleep throughout the day and I just don’t know what to do. Just venting here, I guess.