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i have trouble peeing when i can hear other people in the bathroom. this makes using public urinals almost impossible. i seriously dont know what my problem is, i have no shame or anything, i just can't piss.
count me in. i just stand there and flush after 30 seconds of nothing. i always wonder if people can tell i didnt pee.
one time, a few years back after having spent a few hours sitting on the bench of drink, i went to a shopping mall. Having walked around feeling kinda fuzzy from the suds and day dreaming of Dionysian relations with the nice, scantily clad young ladies walking around, i felt some pressure on the bladder. So i walk down the hallway to the bathroom, in the peripheral vision granted to me a pair of glasses, i see this suit start rushing toward the bathroom. I walked faster and beat him to the door. There are two urinals, one for men, and a wee one, for little boys and hornswaggles. Naturally, i use the mens urinal. The suit walks in and is forced to use the mini urinal, cause lets face, how gay would it be to stand waiting for a urinal when there's an empty one there, even though it is small.... So i'm pissing away and boy, was it was a mighty fine piss. this tall ass suit (did i mention that this dude was probably 6 '3 and i'm 5'8?) is standing at the urinal after having unzippped his suit pants, is starting downward, and not peeing. I look up and over at him and say "damn. Man, sometimes... taking a piss is the greatest thing in the worrrld!" He says "it is." I then look him in the eye, while he's standing there, wishing he wasn't there, and say to him as i'm zipping up "how come you're not pissing then. bwhahahahaha" and start cracking up. I like to think that i ruined his day, maybe destroyed his ego and he's unable to walk into a public restroom without the fear of being harassed at the urinal by a wild eyed drunk.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1975108 times)