real confessions

[Made In China]

I've only ever drank a couple of gulps of alcohol here and there and only ever had one shot, but lately I've really been wanting to get drunk. Like really drunk, like in the movies drunk. I don't know why, but it's kind of hard when my parents only ever keep red wine in the house.

[cancelled]

just find a god'amn hobo.  theyll buy you a fifth of kentucky deluxe, for a shooter or two of course.  your recomended doasge to get drunk would probably be a fifth of kentucky deluxe for your head.  finest bourbon youll find.

[David Schwimmer]

I've only ever drank a couple of gulps of alcohol here and there and only ever had one shot, but lately I've really been wanting to get drunk. Like really drunk, like in the movies drunk. I don't know why, but it's kind of hard when my parents only ever keep red wine in the house.

Oh how it is to be young and innocent, don't worry you'll get your chance and you'll never want to drink again.

Real talk gentlemen, the man behind the David Schwimmer account has been sober for two weeks (even weed), and moving to a place in Long Beach. It's the happiest he's ever been.


-Dave

[Mundungus]

just find a god'amn hobo.  theyll buy you a fifth of kentucky deluxe, for a shooter or two of course.  your recomended doasge to get drunk would probably be a fifth of kentucky deluxe for your head.  finest bourbon youll find.

Yeah drink a 5th. That might get you buzzed.

[Archie Bunker]

and make sure it's kentucky deluxe.  it gets you the drunkest without giving you any sort of hangover.  the cheaper the better

[ttching!]

My gf's little sister always manages to unintentionally flash me while I am minding my own business almost every time she stays with us...Not looking to, but Would.

[Unbridled Technical Precision]

My gf's little sister always manages to unintentionally flash me while I am minding my own business almost every time she stays with us...Not looking to, but Would.

if you would, then you shall...

[chockfullofthat]

wait, you thought a vasectomy was getting your balls cut off and you still wanted one?

I'm crying...from the laughter.

[happenstance]

My gf's little sister always manages to unintentionally flash me while I am minding my own business almost every time she stays with us...Not looking to, but Would.

How does one do that unintentionally?

[ttching!]

if you would, then you shall...

I work around tons of hot females in an area of the city with tons of hot females.  Would but shall not.  I have an amazing three-year old.  I'm going to do anything that might fuck up her life.

How does one do that unintentionally?

Wearing short shorts without underwear, and/or not getting dressed in the bathroom with the door shut when you are staying at someone's little NYC apartment.

[chockfullofthat]

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if you would, then you shall...

[close]

I work around tons of hot females in an area of the city with tons of hot females.?  Would but shall not.?  I have an amazing three-year old.?  I'm going to do anything that might fuck up her life.

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How does one do that unintentionally?

[close]

Wearing short shorts without underwear, and/or not getting dressed in the bathroom with the door shut when you are staying at someone's little NYC apartment.

[ttching!]

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if you would, then you shall...

[close]

I work around tons of hot females in an area of the city with tons of hot females.?  Would but shall not.?  I have an amazing three-year old.?  I'm going to do anything that might fuck up her life.

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How does one do that unintentionally?

[close]

Wearing short shorts without underwear, and/or not getting dressed in the bathroom with the door shut when you are staying at someone's little NYC apartment.

[close]

While having a stable, happy, two-parent household is by no means a guarantee of a person growing up to be a stable, happy, well adjusted adult, it doesn't hurt. Her mom and I are good together, no need to be fooling around. The little one is the best thing that ever happened to me.

[oyolar]

The joke was you left out a "not."

[ttching!]

That is fucked up.  I didn't even notice, even with it bolded.

[gutterhead.]

that's hilarious, hahaha!

Here's my real confession..
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years, been really good friends with her for 10. We have a mutual friend, who at one point in time was my closest friends (a girl). She texts me often and we go out to eat and stuff, which has been going on for a while with nothing bad at all. Here it gets interesting. One night the other weekend, she calls me up at 3 AM saying she's outside my place and needs to crash, of course, I let her in. Shit goes down, we fuck, and i feel like shit. We wake up and i'm freaking out, she gets dressed and leaves only saying "I can keep a secret if you can." Should i come clean to my girlfriend? Should i take it to my grave? I dont want to fuck shit up, cause the girl i'm with may easily be the girl i spend the rest of my life with.

[Turtle Boy]

that's hilarious, hahaha!

Here's my real confession..
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years, been really good friends with her for 10. We have a mutual friend, who at one point in time was my closest friends (a girl). She texts me often and we go out to eat and stuff, which has been going on for a while with nothing bad at all. Here it gets interesting. One night the other weekend, she calls me up at 3 AM saying she's outside my place and needs to crash, of course, I let her in. Shit goes down, we fuck, and i feel like shit. We wake up and i'm freaking out, she gets dressed and leaves only saying "I can keep a secret if you can." Should i come clean to my girlfriend? Should i take it to my grave? I dont want to fuck shit up, cause the girl i'm with may easily be the girl i spend the rest of my life with.

Don't say anything, never ever!

[chockfullofthat]

that's hilarious, hahaha!

Here's my real confession..
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years, been really good friends with her for 10. We have a mutual friend, who at one point in time was my closest friends (a girl). She texts me often and we go out to eat and stuff, which has been going on for a while with nothing bad at all. Here it gets interesting. One night the other weekend, she calls me up at 3 AM saying she's outside my place and needs to crash, of course, I let her in. Shit goes down, we fuck, and i feel like shit. We wake up and i'm freaking out, she gets dressed and leaves only saying "I can keep a secret if you can." Should i come clean to my girlfriend? Should i take it to my grave? I dont want to fuck shit up, cause the girl i'm with may easily be the girl i spend the rest of my life with.

Why'd you do it?

[Greg Ostertag]

Just spend the rest of your life with both of them. You've got a Cult Leader's Starter Kit, my dude.

[trannies and mannies]

Tell your girlfriend you were practicing some new sex moves on the other girl that will intensify your sex lives. She will be curious and want to fuck you right there. Its a win win.

[Monty Burns]

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that's hilarious, hahaha!

Here's my real confession..
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years, been really good friends with her for 10. We have a mutual friend, who at one point in time was my closest friends (a girl). She texts me often and we go out to eat and stuff, which has been going on for a while with nothing bad at all. Here it gets interesting. One night the other weekend, she calls me up at 3 AM saying she's outside my place and needs to crash, of course, I let her in. Shit goes down, we fuck, and i feel like shit. We wake up and i'm freaking out, she gets dressed and leaves only saying "I can keep a secret if you can." Should i come clean to my girlfriend? Should i take it to my grave? I dont want to fuck shit up, cause the girl i'm with may easily be the girl i spend the rest of my life with.

[close]

Why'd you do it?

[close]

Kinda think you are fucked . Either tell her and hope for the best . Or live with it and hope your guilt ( if you have some ) wont eat you up until you turn into a mad man with a sniper rifle in a church tower

[gutterhead.]

For those asking why I did it.. She crawled into my bed while I was sleeping/half asleep and started making out with me, that's fucking entrapment right there. As for an update... I've decided i want to tell her, it's just a matter of figuring out how.

[DaSk8D00D]

damn gutterhead that sounds like a lil situation right there but real talk i can respect yo honesty in wanting to tell her. both options can work perfectly or totally fail so really at the end of the day you just gotta follow your gut. now that i think about it telling her probably the only option where you have at least some control over the outcome

-you could not tell her & hope you get over your guilt and move on as everything stays the same, but that can fuck you over big time if your girl finds out somehow. "secrets" are often revealed over time so really its up to chance

-coming clean and telling her could work but you'd have to hit a fucking home run on that explanation & apology, and you can definitely expect the relationship between the 2 girls to change drastically whether she forgives you or not.


if you feel like telling her is the right thing to do then you should definitely do but make sure that explanation is extremely good! if this was skyrim yo speechcraft would need to be up in the 90's to pull this off my nigga, make sure you come prepared. the sooner the better too cuz you never know when that little secret may come out


excuse my over-analysis im on some extra high shit just tryna help someone out. good luck fam!

[Bronson]

damn gutterhead that sounds like a lil situation right there but real talk i can respect yo honesty in wanting to tell her. both options can work perfectly or totally fail so really at the end of the day you just gotta follow your gut. now that i think about it telling her probably the only option where you have at least some control over the outcome

-you could not tell her & hope you get over your guilt and move on as everything stays the same, but that can fuck you over big time if your girl finds out somehow. "secrets" are often revealed over time so really its up to chance

-coming clean and telling her could work but you'd have to hit a fucking home run on that explanation & apology, and you can definitely expect the relationship between the 2 girls to change drastically whether she forgives you or not.


if you feel like telling her is the right thing to do then you should definitely do but make sure that explanation is extremely good! if this was skyrim yo speechcraft would need to be up in the 90's to pull this off my nigga, make sure you come prepared. the sooner the better too cuz you never know when that little secret may come out


excuse my over-analysis im on some extra high shit just tryna help someone out. good luck fam!

[oyolar]

PRISONER'S DILEMMA!

[Monty Burns]

tell her when she is sleeping . technicly that counts

[Cosme]

[happenstance]

It feels good to come clean but does not help the relationship. There is a chance she will leave you of course, but if she stays, things can be tough. I cheated on my ex after being together for two years. I didn't see myself as ever doing such a thing. I was in Spain and it just sort of fell in my lap and I lost my good judgement. I couldn't live with myself and told her. She was an emotional rollercoaster for months and understandably so. I was basically in the wrong for the rest of the relationship. She claimed she forgave me but her demeanor with me was irrevocably changed. It was definitely the catalyst that ended the relationship. We lasted another year but it was a rough year. The question becomes, do you tell her and deal with the consequences or live with the guilt? I know I would never cheat again. I would also probably tell the truth again, the guilt was too great. I just want to warn you of my experience. Of course, as Dood said, the secret can come out which makes the matter more complicated. Good luck with the situation.

[Greg Ostertag]

She was an emotional rollercoaster for months and understandably so. I was basically in the wrong for the rest of the relationship. She claimed she forgave me but her demeanor with me was irrevocably changed. It was definitely the catalyst that ended the relationship.

This^

I've been there. She's going to be so sour. Once you've "betrayed the trust," you're out in the cold. Staying the course is certainly not worth it, my dude.

[skate_bored]

dont tell her. break up, sooner than later, but dont tell her thats why. find other reasons that you guys shouldnt be together (im sure there are plenty). theres no real way to make it work if she finds out, and at least if you break up you dont have to deal with the guilt. once you do break up DO NOT date the other girl. fuck her or whatever, but i wouldnt get too into her, she obviously cant be upfront about her feelings for you and ended up taking advantage of you no matter how she wants to play it. but definitely fuck her.

[pica]

For those asking why I did it.. She crawled into my bed while I was sleeping/half asleep and started making out with me, that's fucking entrapment right there. As for an update... I've decided i want to tell her, it's just a matter of figuring out how.

i'd set up a nice dinner at an romantic restaurant, candle light, violin player, red wine...
 and then give here one of those ring cases with your little secret inside written on a post it.
she'll love it.