Author Topic: real confessions (Read 1745952 times)

Numeral · « **Reply #3540 on:** July 26, 2012, 11:30:59 AM »

thanks dudes, I'm trying to avoid sleeping pills. I think I'm gonna try first something I have been trying to avoid which is to go joggin before going to bed.

It's like naturally my mind activily refuses to shot down for some sleep. Yesterday I was hella tired and I was like no, I wanna stay awake, even though I consciously knew it was gonna fuck me up and it did, today I received an e-mail from my boss and rrhh.

It wasn't serious but if I keep it up it's gonna blow up in my face.

Dark Knight · « **Reply #3541 on:** July 26, 2012, 04:11:16 PM »

Force yourself to wake up early for a few days and your body will compensate. I had trouble waking up early and would go to bed around 2:30-3:00am everyday. I forced myself to wake up early (5-6am) for a little less than a week and it did the trick. I'm actually tired and ready to go to bed before midnight, something I hadn't done since I was young.

steve · « **Reply #3542 on:** July 26, 2012, 07:50:24 PM »

Quote from: Numeral on July 26, 2012, 11:30:59 AM

thanks dudes, I'm trying to avoid sleeping pills. I think I'm gonna try first something I have been trying to avoid which is to go joggin before going to bed.

It's like naturally my mind activily refuses to shot down for some sleep. Yesterday I was hella tired and I was like no, I wanna stay awake, even though I consciously knew it was gonna fuck me up and it did, today I received an e-mail from my boss and rrhh.

It wasn't serious but if I keep it up it's gonna blow up in my face.

right on, man, although this shit is synthesized, your body releases melatonin when darkness begins to fall. however, if your sleep cycles are off, your body isn't releasing/producing the natural amount of melatonin. It's not all that different than metabolism, if you let that shit get thrown out of whack, it isn't going to work but with exercise and right diet, it will start plugging along again. introducing a bit of synthetic melatonin can be really helpful in getting the rhythm going again. I'm only saying this because it's not like a sleeping pill.

Either way, running before bed can help but it can also keep you up. I try to get my activity going on early in the day, running, riding, etc, and practice yoga at night. good luck amigo

Zurg · « **Reply #3543 on:** July 27, 2012, 01:19:36 PM »

move to the appropriate time zone. problem solved

skate_bored · « **Reply #3544 on:** July 27, 2012, 03:29:53 PM »

im definitely a supporter of melatonin. i cant remember for the life of me the last time i just fell asleep. girls i have dated for years always fall asleep at least two hours before me and even if im exhausted my brain is never ready to shut off. i dont understand "falling asleep". im usually drinking a few nights a week so that solves the problem on those nights, and on off nights ill take a couple 10mg of melatonin around midnight and be nice and sleepy around 1-2. its a feeling that has never come natural for me, but i assume thats how most people feel when they decide its bed time. melatonin is not a sleeping pill, so i dont feel bad taking it. weed helps too, but i gotta make sure i dont smoke RIGHT before bed or i mind fuck myself into 3 hour thought sessions.

j....soy..... · « **Reply #3545 on:** July 27, 2012, 05:03:07 PM »

Swimming......

Mole · « **Reply #3546 on:** July 28, 2012, 01:49:08 AM »

Sometimes I wanna die.

Mundungus · « **Reply #3547 on:** July 29, 2012, 11:07:26 PM »

Quote from: Mole on July 28, 2012, 01:49:08 AM

Sometimes I wanna die.

Sure would save you a lot of trouble, huh?

verbal ham · « **Reply #3548 on:** July 30, 2012, 12:00:10 AM »

Quote from: DaSk8D00D on July 19, 2012, 02:23:10 PM

Quote from: Bronson on July 19, 2012, 01:50:05 PM
Expand Quote
I never live in the moment. Its really problematic, since it also means I am never satisfied or at ease. If I dont escape into my thoughts or to some fantasy about the past or future I just get bored with whatever I am doing. Anyone out there that can relate? I am trying to practice mindfulness and meditation to fight this problem, all suggestions are more than welcome.

[close]

I know exactly where you are coming from as I too once had the same problem.

When faced with boredome the mind naturally wonders towards anxieties of potienal future problems. To avoid this, we look for outside distractions to help pass the free time that we have. We then grow dependent on such distractions wether they be drugs & alcohol, novelty entertainments, killing time on the Internet, etc. however they distractions have a drug like effect...they wear off. We then constantly look more & more outside ourselves, eventually leading to an unsatisfactory way of life. The instant gratification of entertainment may be easier to take up, but leads us nowhere, constantly band-aiding a deeper problem within ourselves.

What you must do is find your niche and a purpose within yourself to be good at it. Something you are deeply passionate about wether it be a skill you would liketo learn, some form of art, or a long term goal. Then you must totally accept the fact that in order to gain a higher pleasure in life, you MUST ABSOLUTELY learn to endure hard practice & drudge work in order to master these things. You have to totally immerse yourself within your work. At first, doing so we be almost unbearably slow paced compared to your petty distractions, but not only are you learning this new skill, you are teaching yoursf self discipline that will last you a lifetime. Soon you will get better and start to notice your progress, motivating you to work even more. Your work then becomes more & more pleasurable as you grow more skilled and immerse yur mind into it. This is your new "distraction" except you are actually being productive and gaining the self discipline that will last you a lifetime. This in turn, leads you towards more long term happiness.

Excuse any typos in that shit as these walls of text become difficult to edit ona phone.

verbal ham · « **Reply #3549 on:** July 30, 2012, 12:01:58 AM »

also i crashed into a parked car the other day

Mole · « **Reply #3550 on:** July 30, 2012, 03:11:20 AM »

Quote from: Mundungus on July 29, 2012, 11:07:26 PM

Quote from: Mole on July 28, 2012, 01:49:08 AM
Expand Quote
Sometimes I wanna die.
[close]

Sure would save you a lot of trouble, huh?

Precisely.

Bronson · « **Reply #3551 on:** July 30, 2012, 02:21:41 PM »

Quote from: verbal ham on July 30, 2012, 12:00:10 AM

Quote from: DaSk8D00D on July 19, 2012, 02:23:10 PM
Expand Quote
Quote from: Bronson on July 19, 2012, 01:50:05 PM
Expand Quote
I never live in the moment. Its really problematic, since it also means I am never satisfied or at ease. If I dont escape into my thoughts or to some fantasy about the past or future I just get bored with whatever I am doing. Anyone out there that can relate? I am trying to practice mindfulness and meditation to fight this problem, all suggestions are more than welcome.

[close]

I know exactly where you are coming from as I too once had the same problem.

When faced with boredome the mind naturally wonders towards anxieties of potienal future problems. To avoid this, we look for outside distractions to help pass the free time that we have. We then grow dependent on such distractions wether they be drugs & alcohol, novelty entertainments, killing time on the Internet, etc. however they distractions have a drug like effect...they wear off. We then constantly look more & more outside ourselves, eventually leading to an unsatisfactory way of life. The instant gratification of entertainment may be easier to take up, but leads us nowhere, constantly band-aiding a deeper problem within ourselves.

What you must do is find your niche and a purpose within yourself to be good at it. Something you are deeply passionate about wether it be a skill you would liketo learn, some form of art, or a long term goal. Then you must totally accept the fact that in order to gain a higher pleasure in life, you MUST ABSOLUTELY learn to endure hard practice & drudge work in order to master these things. You have to totally immerse yourself within your work. At first, doing so we be almost unbearably slow paced compared to your petty distractions, but not only are you learning this new skill, you are teaching yoursf self discipline that will last you a lifetime. Soon you will get better and start to notice your progress, motivating you to work even more. Your work then becomes more & more pleasurable as you grow more skilled and immerse yur mind into it. This is your new "distraction" except you are actually being productive and gaining the self discipline that will last you a lifetime. This in turn, leads you towards more long term happiness.

Excuse any typos in that shit as these walls of text become difficult to edit ona phone.
[close]

Thanks for taking the time to write that thorough point of view...currently Im pretty much working on being content during those times when I am in fact doing absolutely nothing. Thats a new one for me.

Rumpleforeskin · « **Reply #3552 on:** July 30, 2012, 04:57:17 PM »

Quote from: Mole on July 28, 2012, 01:49:08 AM

Sometimes I wanna die.

Dr Steve Brule · « **Reply #3553 on:** July 30, 2012, 08:19:11 PM »

My dad who I don't get along great with, has nearly everything that belonged to my deceased brother. I snuck and stole my brother's diaries from the several months leading up to his heroin overdose.

enzone · « **Reply #3554 on:** August 11, 2012, 10:58:04 PM »

Quote from: Dr Steve Brule on July 30, 2012, 08:19:11 PM

My dad who I don't get along great with, has nearly everything that belonged to my deceased brother. I snuck and stole my brother's diaries from the several months leading up to his heroin overdose.

That's deep as hell dude.

I'm about to steal cigarettes from my mum.

Participation · « **Reply #3555 on:** August 12, 2012, 01:18:14 AM »

lol i masterbated on chatroulette

Participation · « **Reply #3556 on:** August 14, 2012, 05:07:42 AM »

im on efukt listening to lil wayne

Archie Bunker · « **Reply #3557 on:** August 21, 2012, 08:26:28 AM »

I'm facing an identity crisis. I moved out of America, to the country where most of my roots lead to. IMO, middle america is terrible for a young minority growing up. All my life white folk have looked at me like an alien, but I grew accustomed to it. As I grew older and started getting into fist fights over it, people stopped saying racist shit to my face. Even then, my white friends would regularly make stereotypical jokes to my face, and white acquaintances would say stereotypical bullshit behind my back.

Now, I am living in the country that is supposed to be home for me, yet the people here do not accept me as their own. I can't get a job, and I am very tempted of returning to my old ways of rob cheating and stealing to get money. The only upside is how easy it is to talk to girls.

Back in middle america I look the same as every other fuckin jap/chink/gook, and over here I apparently look like fuckin peter bici. What am I to do? Move to Africa?

Omamori · « **Reply #3558 on:** August 21, 2012, 11:07:58 AM »

Where are you at now? And why didnt you move to a different state?

Archie Bunker · « **Reply #3559 on:** August 21, 2012, 11:56:45 AM »

i'm living in tokyo, and i didn't think that things would have been too different if i moved anywhere else but here or one of the coasts. It was cheaper for me to move here than new york or a dc suburb.

To be quite frank, i'm very different from the japanese. The people here love rules and regulations, and i absolutely hate them. I also don't have very much formal education. There is literally nobody to relate to over here in terms of upbringing and shit like that

I'm not too into expressing my feelings of disappointment and sadness. It's pretty hard to type all this shit out for everybody to read. My own stupidity led me here, I guess it'll send me packin back to the states sometime

Dark Knight · « **Reply #3560 on:** August 22, 2012, 05:13:06 PM »

Quote from: Archie Bunker on August 21, 2012, 11:56:45 AM

i'm living in tokyo, and i didn't think that things would have been too different if i moved anywhere else but here or one of the coasts.? It was cheaper for me to move here than new york or a dc suburb.

To be quite frank, i'm very different from the japanese.? The people here love rules and regulations, and i absolutely hate them.? I also don't have very much formal education.? There is literally nobody to relate to over here in terms of upbringing and shit like that

I'm not too into expressing my feelings of disappointment and sadness.? It's pretty hard to type all this shit out for everybody to read.? My own stupidity led me here, I guess it'll send me packin back to the states sometime

Thing would be totally different from middle America if you just moved to a bigger city, man. There's a lot more diversity and people could give two fucks if you look different. Where were you living before?

Omamori · « **Reply #3561 on:** August 22, 2012, 09:59:46 PM »

So do you have any family in Japan or are you out there all alone? I'll be honest, you moved to their country so you're gonna have to adapted regardless if you hate how much they like rules/regulations.

And are you Japanese? I've heard stories about how they can treat other Asians, mainly Koreans, horribly.

Archie Bunker · « **Reply #3562 on:** August 22, 2012, 10:08:18 PM »

i was living in kansas and the town i was living in is actually kinda cool if you're into small towns but there were just a ridiculous amount of narrow minded people and the frat boy/sorority girl types because of the university.

I'm 3/4 japanese and can speak the language fluently. I have family in japan but they live on a different island pretty far away. I think I'm adapting pretty well. I think I'm just lonely. Nobody to kick it with and smoke blunts and drink brews with. Smoking weed is out of the question for as long as im here.

Nobody here particularly treats me like shit, i guess it just kind of hurt that they wouldn't recognize me as a japanese person. But whatever, by some hand of fate i got a job yesterday so i'm sure i'll start meeting some cool people. Thanks for the responses

Omamori · « **Reply #3563 on:** August 22, 2012, 10:11:36 PM »

Stoked to hear things turned for the better. Go out there and skate, meet some people. To be honest I actual envy you. I've been wanting to make a trip to japan for the longest time. Living there would be a dream.

Archie Bunker · « **Reply #3564 on:** August 22, 2012, 10:29:49 PM »

well if you do, pm me. i dont know if you remember but a while back you sent me a couple pairs of pants for free. the pants ended up being too tight but i didn't forget that nice gesture hahaha

Omamori · « **Reply #3565 on:** August 22, 2012, 11:51:09 PM »

Will do. Hopefully I can save up enough by next year. I'll see. Yeah I remember. I dont remember what pants they were lol.

Frank · « **Reply #3566 on:** September 08, 2012, 08:16:44 PM »

tomorrow i will go to the hospital to get my head checked, like, i think i'm manic-depressive or something.

i've been fucking depressed for quite some time now and i'm sure depression is the right word because all the things i loved one year ago, i started to hate. i even started to hate skating, i'm absolutely disgusted by what used to be my favorite spot because everything there, the people and all that, drives me insane and makes me wanna scream and beat people up, or just hammer my head against the wall until it's numb. but i dont even know why i am so negative about these things.

in the course of the last few weeks, i also had one or two what to me felt like panic attacks. there was this street party, and at some point i looked around and i just froze, heart starts beating faster and i get dizzy and i don't know whats wrong but i was unable to move so i sat there, staring at the bottom. when it got better, i immediately left the scene and felt a bit better.

i think it's manic depression because i used to have times when i was really positive about something like painting or working and then i put my heart into it 100%. i was usually really productive in these times but people been telling me i was also a dick, acting all arrogant, while i was just feeling good and being supermotivated and hyped for something. i generally have problems, to get all my shit done, i usually concentrate on one thing like this and everything else, i don't even persue, like calling friends or family, maintain the household, etc...

i also used to love my job but i'm unable to do it right now(guess what i work in a skateshop) because i hate everything about it, especially the customers. it's strange because i know i shouldn't be dick about so many things there but i just can't handle my behavior anymore.

on top off that, my girl broke up with me and i assume it's because of my shitty mental health the last few months. we had a serious relationship for over two years and she ditched me without a warning or a talk, no chance for me to change her mind. i also have close to zero real friends here who i could talk to, yeah i know a lot of other skaters but these are not my real friends, they are homies, but none of them is as close as needed to trust them with problems like this. my ex and i wanted to go on this trip, i even made a thread about it.
we wanted to go to bilbao. i was so fucked up the other day i was really thinking about suicide and planned to go there, with my dead brothers heritage-money he left me, go out surfing in the sea and possibly drown there so everyone can think its an accident, because i can't surf for shit anyway.

i'm fucking downriver

already stopped smoking weed and drinking alcohol, though it's hard, but it's something that wouldn't be beneficial right now and at least i'm not that far out already.

sorry for the big ass text but sharing these thoughts to you fellow slappers actually helps a bit to get through another night. i really have to get my shit together. it's not even the first time i feel like this, i've been through shit like this at least three times in my life and this is the first time i will do something about it. i am fucking scared of anti-depressants and shit like that, but i can't handle it anymore.

Cadillac Ranch Dressing · « **Reply #3567 on:** September 08, 2012, 08:21:13 PM »

Keep your head up Frank! I'm sorry about everything that you've been going through, but for real, you'll eventually get through this slump.

BRIX SKWIKZ · « **Reply #3568 on:** September 08, 2012, 09:56:04 PM »

TRY GOING VEGAN. HARE KRSNA.JESUS LOVES YOU.

KoRnholio8 · « **Reply #3569 on:** September 10, 2012, 03:41:45 PM »

@frank: don't be scared about anti-depressants - the emotional imbalance you are dealing with is caused by the chemistry in your brain and anti-depressants are designed to restore that ballance. that said, it will take about a month for you to feel better and at least 6 months for you to regain the chemical ballance in your brain - after that you can live (normally) without them

also, remember that at this point talking to someone or even a shrink can't really help you - you need those pills.

Author Topic: real confessions (Read 1745952 times)

Mole

Mole

Rumpleforeskin

enzone

BRIX SKWIKZ