Lou, hang in there man. I know sometimes I drink too much - drink a lot anyway - but it would probably be stretching it to say I've ever gotten to the point of alcoholism. It comes from being bored, stressed, down, or just dissatisfied from something and drinking won't fix whatever's bothering you - you'll just wake up in the morning and feel worse about it. The whole "making a change" thing is really hard and sometimes this feels impossible maybe because someone's gotten too comfortable or feels stuck in a situation. Sometimes the leap is massive, sometimes not so much, but for instance if you feel you'd be happier dropping everything to get away for a while vs staying in an apartment with your treasured ikea furnishings only you can make that decision. You have to really want to stop. The key is definitely finding a way out of boredom or whatever you're not happy with right now. I know any day where I can skate all day takes my mind off things more than anything else. The way I put it is if you just stand in the same place all day you're going to want to sit down which will relieve you for a bit but you're still in the same place. If you were to go for a hike, go skate, go swimming then you don't even think about sitting or standing because you're focused on something and moving towards it.