real confessions

[doomstation55]

I've been tryin to get my girl to take it in the ass for quite awhile now. She had never tried it before nor had I, so I kinda figured ya know just lube her starfish up nice and good and go for the gold. I also wore a condom which I usually don't do, but I mean idk I don't want shit on my dick? Anywho first time we go for it we're both pretty drunk and my dick is big enough to where it hurt her. Like a lot. She was crying by the time I got ~1/2 in and then slipped in further really quickly. It clearly wasn't happening, and now she's hurting and I'm still hard wanting to get off so I end up pretty much jerking off on her tits. Lame.

At this point we realized that this was no ordinary thing, that it would take preparation (H?). So I guess she does research and comes across this video.



Useful advice from a cute girl on buttsex? PERFECT! So I take her advice and start throwin a finger in her butt while fucking to get her used to it. I have to admit, i was nervous that my finger would smell like butthole. But after the first go round with ol fingerbutt it was good, she liked it, my finger did not smell, I  was overall pretty psyched.

A little too excited? Next go we're both again kinda drunk, and I overplayed my cards and went for 2 fingers in le poop hole. She's holding back tears but wants me to keep going, which I'm reluctant to do obviously. But she tries to jam my fingers in there real good, and just can't hold it in anymore and stops. Bummer man.

I am definitely discouraged, haven't even gone for the finger again and idk if it'll ever happen (at least with her). I guess I technically had buttsex once tho? Oh well. She licked my butthole once and it tickled and I didn't dislike it.

[69]

put your fingers in your own ass see how many you can fit

[Unbridled Technical Precision]

I've been tryin to get my girl to take it in the ass for quite awhile now. She had never tried it before nor had I, so I kinda figured ya know just lube her starfish up nice and good and go for the gold. I also wore a condom which I usually don't do, but I mean idk I don't want shit on my dick? Anywho first time we go for it we're both pretty drunk and my dick is big enough to where it hurt her. Like a lot. She was crying by the time I got ~1/2 in and then slipped in further really quickly. It clearly wasn't happening, and now she's hurting and I'm still hard wanting to get off so I end up pretty much jerking off on her tits. Lame.

At this point we realized that this was no ordinary thing, that it would take preparation (H?). So I guess she does research and comes across this video.



Useful advice from a cute girl on buttsex? PERFECT! So I take her advice and start throwin a finger in her butt while fucking to get her used to it. I have to admit, i was nervous that my finger would smell like butthole. But after the first go round with ol fingerbutt it was good, she liked it, my finger did not smell, I  was overall pretty psyched.

A little too excited? Next go we're both again kinda drunk, and I overplayed my cards and went for 2 fingers in le poop hole. She's holding back tears but wants me to keep going, which I'm reluctant to do obviously. But she tries to jam my fingers in there real good, and just can't hold it in anymore and stops. Bummer man.

I am definitely discouraged, haven't even gone for the finger again and idk if it'll ever happen (at least with her). I guess I technically had buttsex once tho? Oh well. She licked my butthole once and it tickled and I didn't dislike it.

whole lot of "wut" goin on in this post

[Merked]

put your fingers in your own ass see how many you can fit

Sound advice.

[69]

i think im addicted to liquor and pot

[Mundungus]

go to church?

[69]

i need to find some nice friends, i mean i try to be normal but its hard. i think i'm an okay person??

[neko]

i need to find some nice friends, i mean i try to be normal but its hard. i think i'm an okay person??

Trim your sig, then you'll find friends. Probably have a few lost in there

[69]

life is so unfair, i didnt even chose to be a part of society

[L33Tg33k]

Nobody chose to be part of society. Our parents are selfish for bringing us into this world.

[69]

i mean what is the point to life? what is right and wrong? good and bad? does anything really matter at all?

[Baron Samedi]

Nobody chose to be part of society. Our parents are selfish for bringing us into this world.

Do not feed (though your point is valid obv)

[floop]

Expand Quote

I'm almost desperate enough to get a hooker. Has anyone here ever had one?

[close]

two mates and I went into a brothel shit-faced one night. we rock-papered to see who went in first. my mate played scissors, lost, chose his girl and went in. my other friend and I asked if we could go in together, it was $40 extra for a 'fantasy' so naturally we were stoked, we came to an agreement on the girl and headed in. next minute we had her on a spit, high-fiving to the song Sweet Home Alabama that was blasting through the sound system. good times were had

you never choose scissors in rock paper scissors

[twitchflip]

you never choose scissors in rock paper scissors

a mistake many before him have made

[Coastal Fever]

spread her cheeks which opens her ass Then insert your finger

How many arms you got, bruh?

[chockfullofthat]

Butt sex is morally wrong and they should reintroduce sodomy laws.

[L33Tg33k]

Pretty sure a lot of states still have sodomy laws on the books.

[paraquat]

Get that brown belt yo

[brycickle]

Butt sex is morally wrong and they should reintroduce sodomy laws.

[Coastal Fever]

I fucking love Doug Stanhope.  I wish I could joke around with people in the same way without them calling me a negative bitter prick.

[SodaJerk]

I've been tryin to get my girl to take it in the ass for quite awhile now. She had never tried it before nor had I, so I kinda figured ya know just lube her starfish up nice and good and go for the gold. I also wore a condom which I usually don't do, but I mean idk I don't want shit on my dick? Anywho first time we go for it we're both pretty drunk and my dick is big enough to where it hurt her. Like a lot. She was crying by the time I got ~1/2 in and then slipped in further really quickly. It clearly wasn't happening, and now she's hurting and I'm still hard wanting to get off so I end up pretty much jerking off on her tits. Lame.

At this point we realized that this was no ordinary thing, that it would take preparation (H?). So I guess she does research and comes across this video.



Useful advice from a cute girl on buttsex? PERFECT! So I take her advice and start throwin a finger in her butt while fucking to get her used to it. I have to admit, i was nervous that my finger would smell like butthole. But after the first go round with ol fingerbutt it was good, she liked it, my finger did not smell, I  was overall pretty psyched.

A little too excited? Next go we're both again kinda drunk, and I overplayed my cards and went for 2 fingers in le poop hole. She's holding back tears but wants me to keep going, which I'm reluctant to do obviously. But she tries to jam my fingers in there real good, and just can't hold it in anymore and stops. Bummer man.

I am definitely discouraged, haven't even gone for the finger again and idk if it'll ever happen (at least with her). I guess I technically had buttsex once tho? Oh well. She licked my butthole once and it tickled and I didn't dislike it.

You can't just lube up and rush in there, the biggest challenge is just getting her to relax. Start by using a little stimulation when going doggy style, using your thumb, don't go jamming it in there use the flat it like you pushing the buttons on your playstation just breaking the seal not going for full penetration. Take it slow and let her back up into it rather than you pushing harder. Same thing when your going down on her, then when you feel her relaxing into it get a finger or two if you can but take it slow and retreat if she starts seizing up. Get some tougne in there too, it's trust thing and she'll probably love it. If she's into it don't be scared to get her a butt plug, nothing big or too hard. Get that in there until she learns to relax the muscles. When she's good and ready take it slow, let her back up on you. Plenty of lube and if your not sure then the condom is a good idea because sometime shit does happen but not very often. It sounds like she's down for so good luck man.

[MuchasGracias]

Just fucking go in raw mate.

[chockfullofthat]

^exactly, just do a line of cocaine put on a GG Allin record and let her fucking have it. 

[69]

so i got high last night and put some seinfeld on, i never realized how much all the characters are mocking one another and george cops it pretty badly. what if im like george and everyone is making fun of me and im not even realizing it? what if i am to realize this subtle disrepect, is that any better? just knowing its going on? or do i need to teach myself how to retaliate?

theres gotta be a better way, right??

[ChewyPoo]

^exactly, just do a line of cocaine put on a GG Allin record and let her fucking have it. 

How do I gnar you

[Coastal Fever]

Wish I had watched this video years ago.  They say porn leads to depression and kills motivation.  I'm giving it up.

[paraquat]

Wish I had watched this video years ago.  They say porn leads to depression and kills motivation.  I'm giving it up.

This shit changed my life. Sometimes we forget how primal are brains still are. He has another YouTube series that is good. Sorry for not linking, not on wifi.

[neko]

Wish I had watched this video years ago.  They say porn leads to depression and kills motivation.  I'm giving it up.

I don't know about the depression part, but of course it kills motivation. Who wants to do anything else when you've got your dick in your hand?

[Made In China]

Expand Quote

put your fingers in your own ass see how many you can fit

[close]

Sound advice.

probably the only thing I've ever agreed with 69 on

[Rumpleforeskin]

i mean what is the point to life? what is right and wrong? good and bad? does anything really matter at all?

Hahahaha cool!