i made this thread awhile ago when i was down in the dumps, i had made alot of myself since then. but in the last few months i have been really stressed, my job is iffy on funds, its a long story, and my life took a turn for the worse, ive been throwing up at least 10 times a day for at least 3 months, i sit in bed at night and stress so hard that i pretty much dry heave or barf into a towel before i finally fall asleep 3 hours later, my son wont get the family that he deserves because im a fuck up and i cant find a way to kick my anxiety/depression problems, im not taking drugs, i have had maybe 5 beers in the span of 2 months, im trying my best to eat healthy, i try to force myself to go to bed and get up at reasonable times, after this post you can go ahead and insert the crying girl picture, i dont care, i just had to let it out, I feel like i have failed in to many aspects in life and depression and anxiety will always get the best of me, it did when i skateboarded for a living and it does now when trying to have a decent family life, i lose and have noone to blame but myself, that's all
That sucks so hard, man.
Lately sometimes when I think of how lame the life I'm creating for myself is, my blood pressure goes way up, and it feels like I'm having a heart attack, I get all light-headed, and start coughing from the pressure in my chest, it's scary. Is that symptoms of a panic attack or something? I've no clue...
Also while I'm in real confessions, I won't hang out with my co-workers, no matter what, in spite of their relentless invites. I feel like such a douche, damnit. They seem like cool enough people, in spite of still rocking the limp bizkit and eminem discographies (they are, after all, a kitchen crew), and I know they'd be even cooler if I got beer in me. I don't know why, I just bail out, for anything, ranging from the sheer possibility of skating with my normal day-to-day friends, to looking forward to a night of ea skate & Slap fueled innertness.
Anyone else have this problem, or am I just fucked?