What I’ve been contemplating on when I’m in a depressed mood is this.
What I found is that when I was drinking, loneliness, sadness, existential despair, they were all still there. I quieted them down and tried to deaden my feelings, but they never left me. They always came back with compounded interest. Especially when very drunk, they would come to the surface.
Depression, loneliness, sadness, sense of futility. I think if we are honest with ourselves about the reality of life, we all have these feelings. However when you are drunk, you don't have strength. I think strength is imperative when facing reality head on. If you have that strength, you can look at these things and say, yeah I feel sad, I feel lonely, but these are my feelings, not some chemical. And conversely, when you are happy, those feelings are your feelings as well. We will always have happiness and tears, but I find that I am stronger and better equipped to deal with sadness sober than I was when I was drunk. I can think about things in a more objective way. I'm not a victim. I am free.