SOBRIETY

[mfweeno]

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does anyone here find the further away you get from cigs / beer / booze…. the more you forget why you stopped in the first place. everyones path is relative ofc, but i stopped before i got in too deep. sometimes i want a beer and a smoke. shit. lol

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Question for everyone who's quit drinking, I don't drink daily, but when i do drink i tend to overdue it and end up wasting 2-3 days after because i feel like shit. how do you guys handle hanging out with people who do still drink? I feel like for me the ideal situation (like anyones i'm sure) would be to be able to just have a couple beers and stop, but that never works out.

Coming on 5 years alcohol-free in May - this is my first post in this thread too, glad to see this thread here.

Experiences with alcoholism - or even just problematic drinking -  can vary from person to person, but based on your description you sound a lot like how I was. I would always go into a partying/social situation promising myself I'd only have "two drinks", which would quickly turn into 3-4x that easily every night. I can definitely relate to feeling shitty 2-3 days after - in my worst phase of it, I was an around-the-clock drinker because I wanted to stave off that inevitable shitty feeling.

My first year off the sauce, I felt SUPER uncomfortable being around alcohol in any capacity. I would avoid the beer/wine aisle at the grocery store at all costs, didn't really go to restaurants, and didn't have much social interaction besides very close friends and family, support groups, the gym, therapy etc. This was mainly to protect my stability and sanity at that time. The more time went on, I became more accepting of being around alcohol as I just simply knew I was not going to put in my body anymore.

If you are trying to stop drinking but struggling, I would recommend staying away from drinking situations until you feel secure/stable enough to be comfortable without a drink around other people who are drinking. I still don't really go out at night anymore, but on the rare occasion I do go out I'll grab a soda, seltzer, or food to feel like I'm enjoying something around other people. This will take time and practice - if you have the resources to join a support group or get cognitive-behavioral help, I would definitely recommend it. Both of those avenues taught me skills and habits of thinking that I truly think have kept me alive up to this day.

Tl;dr - if you are trying to quit, I would suggest avoiding situations with alcohol (to your best reasonable ability) until you feel comfortable and stable enough to say "no" if offered. Try to find resources - close friends, family, support groups, therapy, exercise, artistic outlets - to help you remove the obsession with booze and find meaningful sober experiences.

I'm new here, but I am always around to lend an ear to another drinker if you need. I wish you all the best!

[Democratic Republic Of Mongo]

I reached my 4 month mark being alcohol free yesterday. Last weekend I did a snowboarding trip with coworkers and I was the only one who wasn’t drinking at the Airbnb. To be honest I was sort of pissed off and annoyed by everyone but I guess I proved to myself I can do it.

[Easy Slider]

I reached my 4 month mark being alcohol free yesterday. Last weekend I did a snowboarding trip with coworkers and I was the only one who wasn’t drinking at the Airbnb. To be honest I was sort of pissed off and annoyed by everyone but I guess I proved to myself I can do it.

Well done. It‘s crazy how you only notice how everyone around you is drinking all the time once you stop drinking yourself. I don‘t even go to such trips anymore.

[Rusty Shackleford]

I've only been alcohol free for about three weeks, but I feel pretty damn good. I needed a gut reset pretty badly. Been drinking alot of water and booch, and taking glutamine before every meal. Its really helping!

[Democratic Republic Of Mongo]

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I reached my 4 month mark being alcohol free yesterday. Last weekend I did a snowboarding trip with coworkers and I was the only one who wasn’t drinking at the Airbnb. To be honest I was sort of pissed off and annoyed by everyone but I guess I proved to myself I can do it.

[close]

Well done. It‘s crazy how you only notice how everyone around you is drinking all the time once you stop drinking yourself. I don‘t even go to such trips anymore.

Yeah, I just wanted to go snowboarding, but when we were hanging out in the cabin I realized I just don’t want to actually hang out with any of them. It WOULD take booze to tolerate being stuck in there, but willpower came through.

[Sleazy]

i went 34 days on my dry 30, then i had 2 beers before dinner friday, sat and sunday then back to dry for a week and then i was off to a week vacation at the beach and pretty much got back to drinking daily but less than i was before. mostly no day drinking and just a few beers and a burbon most days.

i'm back at home and planning to go dry this week. i'm finding that drinking on school nights isn't great for my energy levels and i have a tech business which needs some serious attention with serious downturn going on in tech right now. not sure what i'm going to do next weekend. i feel like at a minimum i'd like to get to just weekend drinking and not drinking as heavy.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

Hitting 9 months next Sunday. Just NA beers once in awhile. No cigarettes for just about two years.

To the comment about being at an Airbnb & everyone drinks; I hear that & that’s when NA beers come in handy. I was just away in the Catskills & no one really drank but if they did, I’d have one NA beer & just nerd out on music & skating. Worked well & continue to know that alcohol won’t help a thing.

[igrindtwinkies]

Just something I've noticed.  I'd never cancel a trip or anything because people are drinking, but people who want to live their old lifestyle just without booze seem to never pan out.  I'm talking about people that want to continue hanging out in bars multiple times a week.  If that's what you're doing, you're really banking on your willpower to survive hundreds of situations.

You'll never completely avoid alcohol and I still go to bars here and there, but be smart about it.

[Sleazy]

Hitting 9 months next Sunday. Just NA beers once in awhile. No cigarettes for just about two years.

To the comment about being at an Airbnb & everyone drinks; I hear that & that’s when NA beers come in handy. I was just away in the Catskills & no one really drank but if they did, I’d have one NA beer & just nerd out on music & skating. Worked well & continue to know that alcohol won’t help a thing.

i find that if i'm not drinking i get bored. my wife and i went out for a valentines dinner that was slow paced and with drinks would have been really romantic but was honestly a bit boring without. not a big deal but we talked about it later and it would have been better to play some tennis then grab something quicker. just feels like without drinks your pacing is way different and sitting around BSn looses it's appeal a good bit.

[who da thunk it]

I quit drinking to take a month off while unemployed to find a job. Got a job where I had to get up before 5am and it was truly one of the best things to happen to me. No way in hell could I pull off that wake up time while drinking, I'd done it before and it was one of the worst stretches of time in my life.

I made it to 30 days like I'd done a handful of times before, but for the first time I kept it going. My job has cool people, the work is not terribly stressful, and it's full time, so I had way more incentive to actually be sober and enjoy my days talking to people instead of counting the minutes until I could drink again.

And let me tell you, I think it was day 33, I felt reborn. I felt like I had woken up from a coma, like I was an old man who was granted youth again, and put into a 33 year old body as a joke. A good joke! I was on that pink cloud for months, it was incredible.

Then I got injured and couldn't work, so I leaned onto weed and kratom to pass the time. Kratom started turning on me so I dropped it with no ill effects. Had some urges to drink, but made some lists, got some exercise, and made some plans to look forward to, and the urge passed. I still don't know if I want to not drink forever. I might try to have one in a healthy environment (not by myself) and see if the usual happens (back to the hangover of death cycle again).

But being "sober" has given me so much! It's like the opposite of Pandora's Box opening, where all these great things came barreling into my life and this little fart of boredom squeaked out at the end instead of hope.

Booze is a trap!

[JoseCansnake0]

I quit drinking to take a month off while unemployed to find a job. Got a job where I had to get up before 5am and it was truly one of the best things to happen to me. No way in hell could I pull off that wake up time while drinking, I'd done it before and it was one of the worst stretches of time in my life.

I made it to 30 days like I'd done a handful of times before, but for the first time I kept it going. My job has cool people, the work is not terribly stressful, and it's full time, so I had way more incentive to actually be sober and enjoy my days talking to people instead of counting the minutes until I could drink again.

And let me tell you, I think it was day 33, I felt reborn. I felt like I had woken up from a coma, like I was an old man who was granted youth again, and put into a 33 year old body as a joke. A good joke! I was on that pink cloud for months, it was incredible.

Then I got injured and couldn't work, so I leaned onto weed and kratom to pass the time. Kratom started turning on me so I dropped it with no ill effects. Had some urges to drink, but made some lists, got some exercise, and made some plans to look forward to, and the urge passed. I still don't know if I want to not drink forever. I might try to have one in a healthy environment (not by myself) and see if the usual happens (back to the hangover of death cycle again).

But being "sober" has given me so much! It's like the opposite of Pandora's Box opening, where all these great things came barreling into my life and this little fart of boredom squeaked out at the end instead of hope.

Booze is a trap!

Hell yeah man, all this is awesome to read! Booze is a trap!

[LUGR]

I quit drinking to take a month off while unemployed to find a job. Got a job where I had to get up before 5am and it was truly one of the best things to happen to me. No way in hell could I pull off that wake up time while drinking, I'd done it before and it was one of the worst stretches of time in my life.

I made it to 30 days like I'd done a handful of times before, but for the first time I kept it going. My job has cool people, the work is not terribly stressful, and it's full time, so I had way more incentive to actually be sober and enjoy my days talking to people instead of counting the minutes until I could drink again.

And let me tell you, I think it was day 33, I felt reborn. I felt like I had woken up from a coma, like I was an old man who was granted youth again, and put into a 33 year old body as a joke. A good joke! I was on that pink cloud for months, it was incredible.

Then I got injured and couldn't work, so I leaned onto weed and kratom to pass the time. Kratom started turning on me so I dropped it with no ill effects. Had some urges to drink, but made some lists, got some exercise, and made some plans to look forward to, and the urge passed. I still don't know if I want to not drink forever. I might try to have one in a healthy environment (not by myself) and see if the usual happens (back to the hangover of death cycle again).

But being "sober" has given me so much! It's like the opposite of Pandora's Box opening, where all these great things came barreling into my life and this little fart of boredom squeaked out at the end instead of hope.

Booze is a trap!

It is definitely a trap.

I haven’t had a drink in about a year and a half. It is my 3rd or 4th time going over a year without drink in the last 14 years. Each time, I eventually start drinking again and it takes me back to the EXACT same miserable place. Crazy thing is, even knowing this, I know deep down that I will most likely go through it all again at some point. I’m in no rush to go back through it all and have been drinking and enjoying a lot of tea everyday.

I call being dry/sober “floating the boat”

And wet/drunk “sinking the ship”

[ralf_]

day 100 of being dry today.
didn't even remember, until i lay down to watch some it's sunny after a nice sunday doing yard work.
now what?

[JoseCansnake0]

day 100 of being dry today.
didn't even remember, until i lay down to watch some it's sunny after a nice sunday doing yard work.
now what?

Congrats, The world is your oyster. It gets a bit easier after 100, but I will say you'll feel "bored", but it's just that your not poising yourself and making questionable decisions. Enjoy the new mind set.

Pick up a new hobby, shit, go skate!

[fakie nollie]

I’m about to get on the train. Recovered from drug addiction a decade ago and really only drink once a week or so, with 1-2 drinks at most. Was never problematic until the last couple of months, where I’ve woken up the next day with crippling depression, no matter how much or little I drank. At this point, it’s a crutch for social situations I feel uncomfortable in, and no longer very enjoyable. Gonna maybe use this thread as motivation as I get through it

[Easy Slider]

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day 100 of being dry today.
didn't even remember, until i lay down to watch some it's sunny after a nice sunday doing yard work.
now what?

[close]

Congrats, The world is your oyster. It gets a bit easier after 100, but I will say you'll feel "bored", but it's just that your not poising yourself and making questionable decisions. Enjoy the new mind set.

Pick up a new hobby, shit, go skate!

@ralf great achievement. I second Albatras: Keep it up, go skate, pick up some other hobby (I understand you have a nice garden going, that's certainly keeping you busy with Spring approaching) but DO NOT go back to drinking.

I’m about to get on the train. Recovered from drug addiction a decade ago and really only drink once a week or so, with 1-2 drinks at most. Was never problematic until the last couple of months, where I’ve woken up the next day with crippling depression, no matter how much or little I drank. At this point, it’s a crutch for social situations I feel uncomfortable in, and no longer very enjoyable. Gonna maybe use this thread as motivation as I get through it

Welcome aboard, bro. If you're struggling, post in this thread or hit one of us up.

[funeral_tuxedo]

I’m about to get on the train. Recovered from drug addiction a decade ago and really only drink once a week or so, with 1-2 drinks at most. Was never problematic until the last couple of months, where I’ve woken up the next day with crippling depression, no matter how much or little I drank. At this point, it’s a crutch for social situations I feel uncomfortable in, and no longer very enjoyable. Gonna maybe use this thread as motivation as I get through it

@fakie nollie let us know how you're doing <3

[fakie nollie]

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I’m about to get on the train. Recovered from drug addiction a decade ago and really only drink once a week or so, with 1-2 drinks at most. Was never problematic until the last couple of months, where I’ve woken up the next day with crippling depression, no matter how much or little I drank. At this point, it’s a crutch for social situations I feel uncomfortable in, and no longer very enjoyable. Gonna maybe use this thread as motivation as I get through it

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@fakie nollie let us know how you're doing <3

I’m good!

[fakie nollie]

Welp I broke down last night and had a couple of drinks at dinner. A skate homie, who I often partied with, was our waiter. Not blaming him for my decision but didn’t help when he was ready and waiting to bring more drinks at a moment’s notice.

Inevitably woke up depressed and anxiety ridden. Thankfully, I didn’t feel very hungover, so I went to the gym and it did a 180 on my whole mood. I’ll be in sin city all next week but feel confident I can skip drinking throughout that.

[ToshiroTownune]

Anyone else watch the Huberman lab on alcohol? Some absolutely horrifying information about what it does to your body.

[IJC]

I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

[Easy Slider]

I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

You‘ve come to the right place bruh. Speak your mind, share, read, get motivation to persevere.

[IJC]

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I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

[close]

You‘ve come to the right place bruh. Speak your mind, share, read, get motivation to persevere.

Thanks man, you don’t know how much this means to me

[Mr. Kamikazi]

I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

Know you’re brave to even admit you need some help. That alone is huge.

[IJC]

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I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

[close]

Know you’re brave to even admit you need some help. That alone is huge.

I apareciate your words a lot, quitting weed has really opened my eyes to so much shit i didn’t wanted to deal with. Just expressing this here is a big relief.

[Easy Slider]

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I had no alcohol for 6 years, but started drinking 4 months ago. it was a desperate attemp to connect with my wife again. Was a bad decision to try to save a broken marriage. Started with just a few beers, but ended blacking out last time a i drank. Never touching alcohol again
Quit smoking weed after smoking for 20 years, just to realize i have so much stuff in my head i have to deal with. I can’t enjoy being high like i used to.
 I have no one to talk about this, so reading what other people are going through really helps.

[close]

Know you’re brave to even admit you need some help. That alone is huge.

[close]

I apareciate your words a lot, quitting weed has really opened my eyes to so much shit i didn’t wanted to deal with. Just expressing this here is a big relief.

Yes weed is great for forgetting / pushing off issues, but the problem is, that the issues don‘t just go away, they keep on adding up and one day they hit you on the head all at once and then you break. At least that happened  to me once. Being sober means that you can deal with your issues immediately as they come up, one by one. Reality is harsh but it‘s what we have to deal with, so better get it done and move on.

[Streebo]

Haven't been sober since 2013......

[sle_epy]

Been going back and forth for a year or two. Some cringe blackout insta story rants brought me back to reality last year and I chilled the fuck out. Cut out malt liquor and went to Modelo exclusively.

Typically kept it to like a 6 or less most nights, then like two months ago I cut back to a couple days a week. I just felt so sluggish. Last week I hadn't indulged in like four days and had two very rad energetic sessions in a row where I locked some tricks I've been grinding on down.

Oddly, skating awesome makes me want to celebrate more than anything else so the second night I did. Skated the next day like ass. Timing was way off and I had no energy. I'm over it, I decided that at my age the possibility of having dope sessions more often outweighs throwing one away to have fun with alcohol.

[FUBAR]

i find that if i'm not drinking i get bored. my wife and i went out for a valentines dinner that was slow paced and with drinks would have been really romantic but was honestly a bit boring without. not a big deal but we talked about it later and it would have been better to play some tennis then grab something quicker. just feels like without drinks your pacing is way different and sitting around BSn looses it's appeal a good bit.
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That last sentence hit hard for me. After I stopped drinking, I realized my core group of people I would hang and bs with while killing beers were kind of lame. I’d still hang out, but all they did was talk about work. I don’t get bored easily but damn, I got bored. None of them skated so instead of hanging with them, I’d skate. They asked me after a while if I thought I was “too good for them now” now that I don’t drink. The guy asking was kind of being a dick, so I told the truth, which always hurts. You guys are pretty lame and seriously boring. Skating is way more fun that listening to shop talk. Also, coutry music sucks ass when sober. (Or drunk, really). That was the end of them. No big loss.

[ralf_]

i read this a bunch the last few days

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/alcoholics-autonomous-anarchy-and-alcohol

i thought for a long time: hey, i am only taking a break, when spring hits, what will be better, than having a cold beer? now even the thought of beer disgusts me, the liquid and also, the feeling. suddenly i see, how much shit there is to do, how much energy people (or i!) have… like, i love reading and writing, but theres only so much shit i can read or write before i have to eat, sleep, take a walk, and thats okay. no need to lessen the amount of time i have any more. suddenly feels like i am taking my life in my own hands. and boy, is it hard. but better than being unchallenged right? would be boring :-)