props to everyone hitting milestones. i'm just shy of 6 months and had a pretty neat thing happen i figured i'd share. took my daughter (15) and son (13) to their first metal show. didn't drink, had a great time. my daughter and i got to the front of the stage and she was jamming the whole time and the guitarist ended up giving her the set list on his way off stage. my daughter was bragging after the show that she was partying harder and having more fun than a lot of the people and that she wasn't even drinking. she was saying how she felt bad for this couple next to us who were clearly huge fans but got so wasted they got thrown out of the show. she also commented how how "present" the people in the band seemed and how they didn't seem wasted. we googled it later and it turned out that they guys in the band had all sobered up a few years earlier and their before and after picks were pretty amazing difference. all in all it felt to be a great influence on my kids, be completely sober to drive them home and then to see my daughter and son learning to enjoy these type things without alcohol before they inevitably get into real partying. helping create that baseline and good example felt great.
before
after
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Also any advice or feedback from y’all who are currently going through cutting back or quitting or those of you who are sober would be greatly appreciated! Feels good to have a place to vent and rant and talk about it.
good luck @Noble Experiment
share from my side... i find stressful situations easier to navigate when i'm not drinking. to clarify, physical feelings of stress pretty much disappear with a drink but for me that just pauses it till the next day and then i still have to deal with the root cause of the stress. i've had to deal with putting my 7 year old dog down from cancer and having my business go from being profitable money maker to a stressful "is this still working" over the last year and being sober has made each blow easier to navigate for me. YMMV.
few other things that were helpful for me
- NA beers
- fitness tracker (keeping track of sleep scores is really eye opening)
- understanding alcohol withdraws. for me if i drink i'm going to have shit sleep for 2-3 days after and then on the 3rd to 4th day i have a full on crash and end up needing to take a huge nap mid day. it's why moderation wasn't working for me. if i only drink on the weekends it was actually harder than going dry.
@sleazy that's awesome man, what a great feeling that must have been for you as a father. surely that has to be motivation to continue.
I'll be two years in the spring (not to get ahead of myself, keeping it one day at a time as always). My motivation to stay sober hasn't really changed; to be the best version of myself, to experience life, to be a good person to others, among other things. I agree with sleazy's list there, if beer was your thing the NA beer market is kind of booming right now, I'm sure you could find a replacement for something boozy that you liked. I was a liquor man so NA beers are alright but very few and far between for me. I have not tried any of the alcohol free spirits, as I'm kind of worried those might point me in a direction I don't want to go. To each their own though!
Non-skateboarding fitness was always something I struggled with especially when drinking but getting in to running tremendously helped me around 6-7mos, mostly as something to keep me occupied in the evenings. Still continuing to improve on that in addition to adding biking back in (stationary right now because winter) but fitness truly is something wonderful in sobriety as cliche or corny as it sounds. I ended up taking a hiatus from skating this year to focus on running instead and I'm looking forward to getting back in to skating when it feels right. The last few years of skating before I quit drinking were so intertwined with booze I think I just needed time to re-associate that with other, more positive things.
Do not discount the power of sleep and how much proper rest can affect your mental as well. Sleep is so important.
Sobriety podcasts and online communities are also big for me, listening/reading others stories both cautionary and celebratory. Super crucial for me. This thread 100% counts as one of those communities.
TLDR; fill your time you might have otherwise been drunk or high with things that stimulate the mind or body, or both! It's kind of a sober person cliche for a reason. Sleep! Community!
@noble rooting for you homie! keep that taper going (unless you feel you need medical assistance, in that case do that), you'll get down to 0 before you know it. That's when the real work starts but it's worth it, I promise.