SOBRIETY

[ralf_]

Expand Quote

[close]

I've had drinking dreams two nights in a row this week and it's really kind of fucked me up in the morning.

had one last night, fucked me up good. in my dream my girlfriend was like: come on, shouldnt you let alcohol back in your life? have a cold beer after a stressful day??
i was trying to explain to her that that does not work for me,
but it was like in the first saw movie: i had already drunk the beer before realizing it

[NoComply180]

RE: cooking with booze, most of it cooks off, and I know myself well enough to know what is/isn’t a problem or tempting for me.

 My problem with booze is the effects it has, so as long as I’m not on a path to getting those effects, I’m not stressing it. I like a couple dashes of bitters in soda water or tonic water, bitters has alcohol in it but I’d need to chug 5 bottles of it to match my alcohol intake on a normal weeknight when I was drinking.

To each their own though!

[Frank and Fred]

Four months since my last beer. Wasn't planning on quitting forever but not really interested in cracking one any time soon.

[Sleazy]

Expand Quote

Four months since my last beer. Wasn't planning on quitting forever but not really interested in cracking one any time soon.

[close]

Nice! When i quit, i had only planned on drying out for a month. Its cool to aee where it goes!

i started with a dry 30. if you sleep track it becomes really tricky going back if you like the way you feel after stopping drinking. the numbers don't lie unfortunately.

[fakiefs180]

Two weeks ago I went to a nice restaurant with my girl. Afterwards we walked around and explored the neighborhood (that's always my excuse to look for spots and she understands the desire). We stopped to buy some tobacco and ice cream for me. Then she was like, hey what about a drink? Aight, I will get one beer. I drank it but as soon as it touched my lips, something didn't felt right. It felt wrong for some reason, I emptied it anyway. After that I had the desire to get another drink but I didn't. It was a weird situation for me but she understood. Haven't drank since then and I think I am fine without any booze for a good while now. But coffee on the other hand.. it is out of control and I wanna reduce it but that shit is so difficult.

But congrats on 4 months without any beer @Frank and Fred and mad respect to all the other pals who hold it down.

[Sleazy]

nice one @fs1/2cab!

[Ankle_Lift]

Aight, I will get one beer. I drank it but as soon as it touched my lips, something didn't felt right. It felt wrong for some reason, I emptied it anyway. After that I had the desire to get another drink but I didn't. It was a weird situation for me

I know thatexact feeling you're talking about. It's not really guilt, but it's almost like self-disappointed feeling, but brain is racing with thoughts of booze. It's like the same feeling when you let someone down, except it's yourself, so it feels weird.

I'm at four months next weekend, Frank and Fred. Keep going bro.
 

[ALPHA MALE]

So what made you guys choose alcohol? What made you not choose drugs instead? I'm sober from drugs and I kinda view alcoholics as bums, do you view drug addicts as the bums instead? I'm curious 🧐

[Enrico Pallazzo]

Having a pretty gnarly one right now. My dad died of a heart attack last Sunday, and I’ve been back home going through all his shit, figuring out the will, and planning the memorial since Thursday. He was a functioning alcoholic, and while the drinking might not be killed him it certainly didn’t help his health.

Being back here with all his old friends coming by has been rough, just watching them all get fucked up “in his honor”. So many bottles of wine and champagne getting opened while I’m cataloguing his things, cleaning out the garage, etc.

I’m 14 months sober and stopped drinking pretty gradually and never had an issue with “turning it off”/the act of quitting, so this hasn’t been triggering to me from an off the wagon perspective, but just rough to see so much self soothing with alcohol (and some flashbacks to similar days/nights being the only sober person as a kid, thankful my wife is here now).

Apologies for being a downer, just had to do some internet journaling somewhere.

[Sleazy]

Having a pretty gnarly one right now. My dad died of a heart attack last Sunday, and I’ve been back home going through all his shit, figuring out the will, and planning the memorial since Thursday. He was a functioning alcoholic, and while the drinking might not be killed him it certainly didn’t help his health.

Being back here with all his old friends coming by has been rough, just watching them all get fucked up “in his honor”. So many bottles of wine and champagne getting opened while I’m cataloguing his things, cleaning out the garage, etc.

I’m 14 months sober and stopped drinking pretty gradually and never had an issue with “turning it off”/the act of quitting, so this hasn’t been triggering to me from an off the wagon perspective, but just rough to see so much self soothing with alcohol (and some flashbacks to similar days/nights being the only sober person as a kid, thankful my wife is here now).

Apologies for being a downer, just had to do some internet journaling somewhere.

@Enrico Pallazzo so sorry for your loss and thanks so much for sharing.

[fakiefs180]

Having a pretty gnarly one right now. My dad died of a heart attack last Sunday, and I’ve been back home going through all his shit, figuring out the will, and planning the memorial since Thursday. He was a functioning alcoholic, and while the drinking might not be killed him it certainly didn’t help his health.

Being back here with all his old friends coming by has been rough, just watching them all get fucked up “in his honor”. So many bottles of wine and champagne getting opened while I’m cataloguing his things, cleaning out the garage, etc.

I’m 14 months sober and stopped drinking pretty gradually and never had an issue with “turning it off”/the act of quitting, so this hasn’t been triggering to me from an off the wagon perspective, but just rough to see so much self soothing with alcohol (and some flashbacks to similar days/nights being the only sober person as a kid, thankful my wife is here now).

Apologies for being a downer, just had to do some internet journaling somewhere.

Condolences to you mate, sending you a virtual hug.
It ain't easy being around drinking people, but so rad that your wife is with you. Stay strong out there.

No apologies necessary, we are all here for each other.

[Frank and Fred]

Expand Quote

Having a pretty gnarly one right now. My dad died of a heart attack last Sunday, and I’ve been back home going through all his shit, figuring out the will, and planning the memorial since Thursday. He was a functioning alcoholic, and while the drinking might not be killed him it certainly didn’t help his health.

Being back here with all his old friends coming by has been rough, just watching them all get fucked up “in his honor”. So many bottles of wine and champagne getting opened while I’m cataloguing his things, cleaning out the garage, etc.

I’m 14 months sober and stopped drinking pretty gradually and never had an issue with “turning it off”/the act of quitting, so this hasn’t been triggering to me from an off the wagon perspective, but just rough to see so much self soothing with alcohol (and some flashbacks to similar days/nights being the only sober person as a kid, thankful my wife is here now).

Apologies for being a downer, just had to do some internet journaling somewhere.

[close]

@Enrico Pallazzo so sorry for your loss and thanks so much for sharing.

Harsh one. I went through a similar thing when my dad died last September. I missed him by one day, travelling halfway across the world. When I got home, I was greeted by a household that stunk like a brewery and all my family hammered. I nearly turned 180 and walked back out. At the wake my nephew told me his plan was to drink a gallon of beer in my dad's honor as my dad had once told him he could drink a gallon and still function fine... Welsh funerals eh...

My Condolences @Enrico Pallazzo

[Enrico Pallazzo]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Having a pretty gnarly one right now. My dad died of a heart attack last Sunday, and I’ve been back home going through all his shit, figuring out the will, and planning the memorial since Thursday. He was a functioning alcoholic, and while the drinking might not be killed him it certainly didn’t help his health.

Being back here with all his old friends coming by has been rough, just watching them all get fucked up “in his honor”. So many bottles of wine and champagne getting opened while I’m cataloguing his things, cleaning out the garage, etc.

I’m 14 months sober and stopped drinking pretty gradually and never had an issue with “turning it off”/the act of quitting, so this hasn’t been triggering to me from an off the wagon perspective, but just rough to see so much self soothing with alcohol (and some flashbacks to similar days/nights being the only sober person as a kid, thankful my wife is here now).

Apologies for being a downer, just had to do some internet journaling somewhere.

[close]

@Enrico Pallazzo so sorry for your loss and thanks so much for sharing.

[close]

Harsh one. I went through a similar thing when my dad died last September. I missed him by one day, travelling halfway across the world. When I got home, I was greeted by a household that stunk like a brewery and all my family hammered. I nearly turned 180 and walked back out. At the wake my nephew told me his plan was to drink a gallon of beer in my dad's honor as my dad had once told him he could drink a gallon and still function fine... Welsh funerals eh...

My Condolences @Enrico Pallazzo

Appreciate it guys, thanks very much. We had a weird relationship (due to the alcohol, go figure), so processing this all has been interesting, to say the least.

To circle it back to general sobriety, I am encouraged by the increasing acceptance of sobriety and non alcoholic beers and cocktails, particularly with younger people. Hopeful for a future where you can make as many close friends as my dad did but without having to sit at the bar all day for decades on end.

[Sleazy]

my dad is in his mid 74 and currently visiting me and the family from australia. we only see him every 2 year or so and he's planning to stop traveling at 80. it's a strange place to be knowing that someone who's such a huge part of my life is getting to the end of his.

i hit a 10 month milestone today and wanted to share an update. i had noticed this morning that i'm not feeling the intense boredom that i was feeling after dinner anymore. it's switched to where i just feel relaxed and look forward to sitting on the couch, resting and watching tv. it was kind of a long road to get there for me but figured i'd share for others getting started.

[ralf_]

17 months. thinking of hangovers: would there be something worse than having one say tomorrow morning (noon)? on the other hand they sometimes made for chill days (excuses) to stay in bed eat pizza and ice-cream (and eventually drink beers in bed, too)…

[hmmoookay]

Expand Quote

17 months. thinking of hangovers: would there be something worse than having one say tomorrow morning (noon)? on the other hand they sometimes made for chill days (excuses) to stay in bed eat pizza and ice-cream (and eventually drink beers in bed, too)…

[close]

I didn’t realize that I was in a years long hangover until my body acclimated about a year out of drinking. I never got any of those pizza and ice cream days. On non work days it was straight to beer, work days, i just powered through with coffee and PMA.

Nowadays, if i dont sleep enough, or drink enough water by a certain time, or dont stretch, im a miserable grouch. Alcohol was a crazy anesthetic for sure

I've been thinking about this since you posted it and I feel like I need to start being more consistent with a kind of "feel good" routine. Like starting the day with the intention to feel good no matter what comes your way kinda thing.

Since my last post I have continued to have on and off again drinking dreams. I'm really just chalking it up to stress; I'm in the midst of a career change, getting ready to move across the country, and the last two weeks of the semester have truly kicked my ass (rounding out my 5th year as an adjunct instructor, leaving teaching fwiw). On top of that, I've got whatever bug is going around right now (not covid) and cannot for the life of me get good sleep, as a result of all of this I'm sure.

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up! 

[Monolithic Flick]

Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey. 

[Coastal Fever]

90 days is a huge accomplishment!  Don’t think of it as starting back up from the bottom, you’ve already conquered the uphill climb, you’re just hitting the ground running and picking up where you left off.  The many rewards of sobriety are still right in front of you.

[CrumblingInfrastructure]

Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.

You got this, I just hit 90 days yesterday

[Ankle_Lift]

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up! 

That's it right there. The cycle from before is easy and comfortable to get into, but just remember how shitty you probably felt all time.
All the negative emotions that follow after a binge. They're the worst. Keep going.


Everyone else... Keep it up boys! Keep going!
The stress relief that booze brings is so tempting, but it's also so incredibly temporary.

I'm at four months, and it's for sure gotten easier as time goes on.
I spent almost 25 years of my life making unhealthy and bad decisions, so when I stopped drinking, my plan was  going to be to be healthier all all-around.

I was struggling with ongoing mental health issues as well at the time I decided to stop drinking, so I had no energy to do much of anything. I would have used alcohol to get that comfortably numb emotional state, but things have gotten much better, which probably wouldn't have happened if I was still crushing the booze.

But, I've started to feel much better... I've started riding my pedal bike to work, and I joined a rec soccer league that plays twice a week. I feel better than I ever have, which is a weird feeling for sure.

[ralf_]

Expand Quote

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up! 

[close]

That's it right there. The cycle from before is easy and comfortable to get into, but just remember how shitty you probably felt all time.
All the negative emotions that follow after a binge. They're the worst. Keep going.

thanks hmmoookay, appreciate it!

a "the day is yours" routine is awesome, but even harder is learning that there is a lot of stuff you can do that is good for you (water, vegetables, clever coffee routine, work outs, cold showers bla bla), but it is also okay to sometimes do the opposite and then live the consequences and feel not awesome, stress out, be depressed about stuff etc. at least for me that has been a big realisation lately, that i dont need to stress myself to feel good. theres feeling bad and its ok and i can deal with it without booze. thats so awesome :-))

[Sleazy]

@Ankle_Lift and @Monolithic Flick appreciate the shares! at 10+ months in i'm at a point where i understand so clearly the impact that having a drink has on my day and grown to love being energetic and in a good mood everyday so it's gotten beyond easy for me. i've had to deal with some really stressful things in my work life this year and i've found so much comfort in "at least i'm not drinking". hoping you all get to a similar place with your journey.

[Monolithic Flick]

@Coastal Fever, @CrumblingInfrastructure,@Sleazy thank you for the kindness.  It is humbling and well received.  This is a great thread and I wish everyone the best and will keep checking in here and there. I am actually excited about getting sober again because I know how good it is going to feel.

[stooeylewis]

3years on the 25th this month. Its tough at forst but once you get some tome it only gets easier.

[Abyss1]

Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.

Im in the same boat but at the same time realized that alcohol itself is a problem.   I also started getting older and the morning DADS was getting gnarly even after 2 beers, when i stopped the morning poops became more enjoyable .  Im at 5.5 Months now and probably won't touch it for the foreseeable future

[Sleazy]

i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.

[Monolithic Flick]

Expand Quote

Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.

[close]

Im in the same boat but at the same time realized that alcohol itself is a problem.   I also started getting older and the morning DADS was getting gnarly even after 2 beers, when i stopped the morning poops became more enjoyable .  Im at 5.5 Months now and probably won't touch it for the foreseeable future

That's awesome.  And I said "not a problem drinker" but this whole week I wanted a beer more just because I said I was going sober.  So maybe I need to redefine things personally.  At any rate I've been getting up earlier to scoot around the skate park before anyone else is there so that has been cool.  And bought some NA beer today to hopefully stave off some cravings.  Good luck all.

[Monolithic Flick]

i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.

and yes to this, especially.  I think the popularity of Dry January and like him or not (I'm relatively neutral) the Huberman thing helped with perception for a lot of folks.

[dstrytruitt]

Kudos to you all for what you're doing!
I'm most certainly an alcoholic who can't control my drinking so I go to AA meetings online a few time a week and work through the 12 steps, etc. Morning readings and meditation to get my day started on the right foot and nightly inventories of how the day went keep me accountable to myself. I don't smoke or take gummies and I don't care about NA beers as they just get in the way of my sobriety. When I drank my anxiety and stress were off the charts. I carried around anger and had zero patience. More than 20 months into sobriety and doing step work I'm a different person. Shit just doesn't get to me any more. And I dig it. I totally appreciate my friends and the time I get to spend skating with them so much more than I ever did before. My family doesn't fear me any more and that's pretty rad to go home to every day.
I hope you all stick with it.

[Abyss1]

Expand Quote

i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.

[close]

like him or not (I'm relatively neutral) the Huberman thing helped with perception for a lot of folks.

well to be fair a broken clock is right twice day...dudes whole stick bothered me because he thinks he can relate to skateboarders...but the same could be said about any grifter of common hobbies or interests.   I was listening to Alan Watts one afternoon and he was talking about that whole concept of 'self help'.  He was saying its something we are always trying to do or are interested in even if we have our shit together, its just natural for anyone to want to be more conscious and appreciate more moments, and selling it is a type of racket