Author Topic: SOBRIETY  (Read 52101 times)

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ralf_

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #990 on: May 11, 2024, 04:25:20 PM »
17 months. thinking of hangovers: would there be something worse than having one say tomorrow morning (noon)? on the other hand they sometimes made for chill days (excuses) to stay in bed eat pizza and ice-cream (and eventually drink beers in bed, too)…
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IUTSM

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #991 on: May 11, 2024, 05:11:35 PM »
17 months. thinking of hangovers: would there be something worse than having one say tomorrow morning (noon)? on the other hand they sometimes made for chill days (excuses) to stay in bed eat pizza and ice-cream (and eventually drink beers in bed, too)…


I didn’t realize that I was in a years long hangover until my body acclimated about a year out of drinking. I never got any of those pizza and ice cream days. On non work days it was straight to beer, work days, i just powered through with coffee and PMA.

Nowadays, if i dont sleep enough, or drink enough water by a certain time, or dont stretch, im a miserable grouch. Alcohol was a crazy anesthetic for sure
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hmmoookay

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #992 on: May 12, 2024, 07:45:56 AM »
Expand Quote
17 months. thinking of hangovers: would there be something worse than having one say tomorrow morning (noon)? on the other hand they sometimes made for chill days (excuses) to stay in bed eat pizza and ice-cream (and eventually drink beers in bed, too)…
[close]


I didn’t realize that I was in a years long hangover until my body acclimated about a year out of drinking. I never got any of those pizza and ice cream days. On non work days it was straight to beer, work days, i just powered through with coffee and PMA.

Nowadays, if i dont sleep enough, or drink enough water by a certain time, or dont stretch, im a miserable grouch. Alcohol was a crazy anesthetic for sure

I've been thinking about this since you posted it and I feel like I need to start being more consistent with a kind of "feel good" routine. Like starting the day with the intention to feel good no matter what comes your way kinda thing.

Since my last post I have continued to have on and off again drinking dreams. I'm really just chalking it up to stress; I'm in the midst of a career change, getting ready to move across the country, and the last two weeks of the semester have truly kicked my ass (rounding out my 5th year as an adjunct instructor, leaving teaching fwiw). On top of that, I've got whatever bug is going around right now (not covid) and cannot for the life of me get good sleep, as a result of all of this I'm sure.

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up!  :)

Monolithic Flick

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #993 on: May 12, 2024, 08:39:18 AM »
Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey. 

Coastal Fever

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #994 on: May 12, 2024, 08:48:54 AM »
90 days is a huge accomplishment!  Don’t think of it as starting back up from the bottom, you’ve already conquered the uphill climb, you’re just hitting the ground running and picking up where you left off.  The many rewards of sobriety are still right in front of you.

CrumblingInfrastructure

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #995 on: May 12, 2024, 09:50:40 AM »
Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.


You got this, I just hit 90 days yesterday

Ankle_Lift

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #996 on: May 12, 2024, 11:57:01 AM »

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up!  :)

That's it right there. The cycle from before is easy and comfortable to get into, but just remember how shitty you probably felt all time.
All the negative emotions that follow after a binge. They're the worst. Keep going.


Everyone else... Keep it up boys! Keep going!
The stress relief that booze brings is so tempting, but it's also so incredibly temporary.

I'm at four months, and it's for sure gotten easier as time goes on.
I spent almost 25 years of my life making unhealthy and bad decisions, so when I stopped drinking, my plan was  going to be to be healthier all all-around.

I was struggling with ongoing mental health issues as well at the time I decided to stop drinking, so I had no energy to do much of anything. I would have used alcohol to get that comfortably numb emotional state, but things have gotten much better, which probably wouldn't have happened if I was still crushing the booze.

But, I've started to feel much better... I've started riding my pedal bike to work, and I joined a rec soccer league that plays twice a week. I feel better than I ever have, which is a weird feeling for sure.

ralf_

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #997 on: May 12, 2024, 12:06:47 PM »
Expand Quote

To spin all of this in a positive light, it's all made me thankful for my sobriety because if I were still "living" off of vodka and fried food I think I would probably have spiraled into a mental health crisis by now. No one ever said this would be easy, but its easier than repeating that cycle for damn sure.

Congrats on 17months ralf, big big big. Keep it up!  :)
[close]

That's it right there. The cycle from before is easy and comfortable to get into, but just remember how shitty you probably felt all time.
All the negative emotions that follow after a binge. They're the worst. Keep going.


thanks hmmoookay, appreciate it!

a "the day is yours" routine is awesome, but even harder is learning that there is a lot of stuff you can do that is good for you (water, vegetables, clever coffee routine, work outs, cold showers bla bla), but it is also okay to sometimes do the opposite and then live the consequences and feel not awesome, stress out, be depressed about stuff etc. at least for me that has been a big realisation lately, that i dont need to stress myself to feel good. theres feeling bad and its ok and i can deal with it without booze. thats so awesome :-))
fun fun fun

Sleazy

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #998 on: May 12, 2024, 12:27:07 PM »
@Ankle_Lift and @Monolithic Flick appreciate the shares! at 10+ months in i'm at a point where i understand so clearly the impact that having a drink has on my day and grown to love being energetic and in a good mood everyday so it's gotten beyond easy for me. i've had to deal with some really stressful things in my work life this year and i've found so much comfort in "at least i'm not drinking". hoping you all get to a similar place with your journey.

Monolithic Flick

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #999 on: May 12, 2024, 06:00:24 PM »
@Coastal Fever, @CrumblingInfrastructure,@Sleazy thank you for the kindness.  It is humbling and well received.  This is a great thread and I wish everyone the best and will keep checking in here and there. I am actually excited about getting sober again because I know how good it is going to feel.

stooeylewis

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1000 on: May 14, 2024, 11:13:16 AM »
3years on the 25th this month. Its tough at forst but once you get some tome it only gets easier.

Abyss1

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1001 on: May 15, 2024, 09:51:33 AM »
Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.

Im in the same boat but at the same time realized that alcohol itself is a problem.   I also started getting older and the morning DADS was getting gnarly even after 2 beers, when i stopped the morning poops became more enjoyable .  Im at 5.5 Months now and probably won't touch it for the foreseeable future

Sleazy

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1002 on: May 16, 2024, 05:24:03 AM »
i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.

Monolithic Flick

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1003 on: May 16, 2024, 03:34:57 PM »
Expand Quote
Well I am starting over again.  I went 90+ days as an “experiment” and felt great.  Again I was never a “problem” drinker in that alcohol never interfered with my daily life.  But it is definitely affecting my energy levels in my old age.  And I just overall felt so much better sober.  Was stupid of me to give that up.  My job security went to hell right before I did so I justified it with “ stress” and things like “you’ve proven you can give it up.” 

Job is still insecure but obviously long term alcohol doesn’t really reduce stress.  Anyway I am very grateful for this thread.  Thank you all for sharing. It is all inspiring and encouraging me to restart my sober journey.
[close]

Im in the same boat but at the same time realized that alcohol itself is a problem.   I also started getting older and the morning DADS was getting gnarly even after 2 beers, when i stopped the morning poops became more enjoyable .  Im at 5.5 Months now and probably won't touch it for the foreseeable future

That's awesome.  And I said "not a problem drinker" but this whole week I wanted a beer more just because I said I was going sober.  So maybe I need to redefine things personally.  At any rate I've been getting up earlier to scoot around the skate park before anyone else is there so that has been cool.  And bought some NA beer today to hopefully stave off some cravings.  Good luck all.

Monolithic Flick

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1004 on: May 16, 2024, 03:37:02 PM »
i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.

and yes to this, especially.  I think the popularity of Dry January and like him or not (I'm relatively neutral) the Huberman thing helped with perception for a lot of folks.

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1005 on: May 21, 2024, 12:55:34 PM »
Kudos to you all for what you're doing!
I'm most certainly an alcoholic who can't control my drinking so I go to AA meetings online a few time a week and work through the 12 steps, etc. Morning readings and meditation to get my day started on the right foot and nightly inventories of how the day went keep me accountable to myself. I don't smoke or take gummies and I don't care about NA beers as they just get in the way of my sobriety. When I drank my anxiety and stress were off the charts. I carried around anger and had zero patience. More than 20 months into sobriety and doing step work I'm a different person. Shit just doesn't get to me any more. And I dig it. I totally appreciate my friends and the time I get to spend skating with them so much more than I ever did before. My family doesn't fear me any more and that's pretty rad to go home to every day.
I hope you all stick with it.

IUTSM

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1006 on: May 21, 2024, 02:16:28 PM »
Kudos to you all for what you're doing!
I'm most certainly an alcoholic who can't control my drinking so I go to AA meetings online a few time a week and work through the 12 steps, etc. Morning readings and meditation to get my day started on the right foot and nightly inventories of how the day went keep me accountable to myself. I don't smoke or take gummies and I don't care about NA beers as they just get in the way of my sobriety. When I drank my anxiety and stress were off the charts. I carried around anger and had zero patience. More than 20 months into sobriety and doing step work I'm a different person. Shit just doesn't get to me any more. And I dig it. I totally appreciate my friends and the time I get to spend skating with them so much more than I ever did before. My family doesn't fear me any more and that's pretty rad to go home to every day.
I hope you all stick with it.

Good for ya man!

You know, i quit drinking and moved away to CA for over 10 years. Didn’t see my family too much. When i told em i was moving hack east, my sister in particular was tepid at best about how family things would unfurl. I said “y’all dont know me sober!” Now, 8 months back in the thick of it, i an by far the most mellow, level headed on.
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Abyss1

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1007 on: May 22, 2024, 11:05:50 AM »
Expand Quote
i'm in a forum group for my work and i meet with other people with similar jobs monthly to share personal and professional challenges, accomplishments, etc. i had one of my forum mates this month thank me for inspiring him to quit drinking and another who got a garmin and has been tracking using sleep score, body battery, etc. when i first quit drinking i think my thoughts about it were pretty dated and i thought that it'd be this embarrassing thing that makes people think you had some kind of weakness or problem. drunk guy who was abusive to family vibes... it really feels like times have changed for the way better and people view it more like taking on a health diet and exercise routine.
[close]
like him or not (I'm relatively neutral) the Huberman thing helped with perception for a lot of folks.

well to be fair a broken clock is right twice day...dudes whole stick bothered me because he thinks he can relate to skateboarders...but the same could be said about any grifter of common hobbies or interests.   I was listening to Alan Watts one afternoon and he was talking about that whole concept of 'self help'.  He was saying its something we are always trying to do or are interested in even if we have our shit together, its just natural for anyone to want to be more conscious and appreciate more moments, and selling it is a type of racket

NoComply180

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1008 on: May 22, 2024, 12:00:27 PM »
I’ve reached a cool point in my relationship with booze where I no longer think about it constantly, or even think about the fact that I don’t drink it anymore. I’ll go hours now not even thinking about it until something reminds me. Great to have that mental space/energy back.



Him ah fall off building an bumboclot him legs

Shifty Flip

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1009 on: May 25, 2024, 04:24:30 PM »


I looked back but did not see this posted in here before. 

Monolithic Flick

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1010 on: May 26, 2024, 08:19:14 AM »
I went 12 days and then back to zero.  Went on vacation and then felt I “earned it.”  First night was two pints.  Second night bumped up to 3. I understand for a lot of people that’s just nothing.  But for me it’s teetering on the edge of really drunk.  And the immediate bump up in quantity wasn’t great.  And I wanted more.  Trying to show some accountability here.  Another thing that makes me sad is wife said she liked new sober me the day after I had two. I know I don’t have the “full blown alcoholic” story but I do feel like I’m on the edge of losing control with it.  So back to day day zero we go.  Hang in there everyone.

Mr. Kamikazi

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1011 on: May 26, 2024, 08:51:33 AM »
About to hit two years on Father’s Day. Just NA beers here & there.


Sleazy

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1012 on: May 26, 2024, 04:04:24 PM »


I looked back but did not see this posted in here before.

Oh wow. I skate with Jason sometimes at the local park, cool guy. Heavy interview.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2024, 04:20:50 PM by Sleazy »

Shifty Flip

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1013 on: May 26, 2024, 04:20:34 PM »
Expand Quote


I looked back but did not see this posted in here before.
[close]

Oh wow this is sick. I skate with Jason sometimes at the local park, cool guy. Sick interview.

I also just saw he’s got a BA one as well. 

I’m really struggling right now personally with alcohol after getting clean from an 23 year heroin, benzodiazepines and methadone daily addiction and and this helped give hope.  Can’t die of alcoholism after overcoming still much. I’m 7 years clean from heroin/benzos, 1 year from methadone, after starting on 180mg in 97.

 I really felt compassion for Fred telling story about what he did when his mom passed, and being honest, even though it was obviously hard to do so.  I relapsed immediately after finding and giving cpr to my best skate friend after months clean, years ago. Downward spiral from there .   Made me wonder if that’s why BA gifted Fred the new bed on that Jenkem thing.  Maybe his old bed was the same one from Freddie’s story.  If so, BA needs a crown.

EdLawndale

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1014 on: May 26, 2024, 05:20:29 PM »
My one year anniversary of no alcohol is coming up this week.

I wasn't sure when I started this journey if I was gonna make it this far even...but it looks like I have. And I plan to continue.

My birthday is coming up this summer and I am considering pushing back my sobriety birthday to coincide with my bday. It just seems it would be more meaningful and easy to remember. Maybe hold more gravity and give me the strength to abstain if someone ever tries to buy me a bday drink?

And I would be pushing my sobriety bday back as opposed to pushing it up, so not technically cheating. Seems pretty minor. Anyone here who stopped drinking on their birthday (so the dates coincide)? If so, are there any positives or negatives?

Anyways, EdLawndale of alcohol, confirmed.
"Was just about to say, wtf is up with this EdLawndale guy?"


Sleazy

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1015 on: May 27, 2024, 07:36:03 AM »
My one year anniversary of no alcohol is coming up this week.

I wasn't sure when I started this journey if I was gonna make it this far even...but it looks like I have. And I plan to continue.

My birthday is coming up this summer and I am considering pushing back my sobriety birthday to coincide with my bday. It just seems it would be more meaningful and easy to remember. Maybe hold more gravity and give me the strength to abstain if someone ever tries to buy me a bday drink?

And I would be pushing my sobriety bday back as opposed to pushing it up, so not technically cheating. Seems pretty minor. Anyone here who stopped drinking on their birthday (so the dates coincide)? If so, are there any positives or negatives?

Anyways, EdLawndale of alcohol, confirmed.

Way to go ed! My ne year is one the horizon too. Combining dates seems like a good idea long haul. Really if you quit for real I’d assume it gets less day by struggle and more year by year celebration. My wife just hit me year and celebrated with some spa day activities
« Last Edit: May 27, 2024, 07:24:22 PM by Sleazy »

Frank and Fred

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1016 on: May 27, 2024, 08:20:38 AM »
Five months now. Was tempted to have a beer on my birthday (was on a solo road trip, surfing, camping, surfing, hiking) but got some coconut cream pie instead. At this point if I do go back to drinking, I want it to be special occasion 1 or 2 max thing, but still have no inclination toward a tipple just yet.

Gnar_Gnar

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1017 on: May 27, 2024, 02:57:59 PM »
I stopped keeping track..  it's been like 8 months or something for me?  I'm constantly surrounded by alcoholics and partiers though.  I got sober with my Mom after she started having kidney/liver failure from years of alcoholism.  Once she died, it really took the fun out of drinking.

Now that I'm sober, I'm seeing how much of drinking/partying is people running from problems and not knowing how to cope.  Oddly, the more I'm around drunks and partying, the less I want to do with that shit.  I used to think drinking + drugs = fun, but I'm realizing that I'm usually having the most fun out of everyone.  I love music, so it's pretty wild to be dancing and vibing stone sober though ha!

Energy levels are unbelievable.  Blood pressure is back on track.  Healthy diet, health looking good.  In the gym and feeling and looking good.  In my free time I've basically recorded a 12 track demo, relaunched my media business, got my finances under control, and took up a bunch of really fun hobbies.  It feels like I always have money because I'm not spending $$$ on booze and weed every night so it's been easy to invest in myself and my interests.

It's so nice waking up with no guilt or anxiety about being an idiot.  I thought getting sober would fuck up my art but it's actually made it way better because I'm actually releasing emotions and being fully present while creating and jamming.  My relationships are better, I feel like I'm in the drivers seat of life again.  I've had conversations and opportunities with people I wouldn't even dream about, and I left them feeling good!  I'm not constantly putting out fires.  I've been developing real connections with people that aren't centered on booze or getting the next fix.

I started to see how once you take booze and drugs out of the equation, a lot of partying really isn't even that fun.  It's pretty lame to be sitting around doing nothing getting wasted now.  I could be out exploring the world, making something beautiful, sharing a real moment with someone, growing my business, following a passion, developing a skill, but instead they're sitting there killing themselves slowly with poison and literally pissing away their money, to not remember it!

My problem is being expected to take care of everyone because I'm "sober".  Setting boundaries is tough with people you care about.  I've had to cut out people who couldn't get it together, were burning out, and were just toxic and miserable to be around.  Having to deal with jealousy and envy now too from bitter drunks who won't help themselves.  Seeing people close to you actually prefer you being fucked up because it makes them feel better about themselves is a tough one.  You get a front row, all access pass to peoples lives crumbling, while you're waking up stoked to get after life.  It's weird.  A lot of people come to me now asking what the secret is and when I tell them sobriety, they want to get sober but never do.  The answers are right in front of them but they can't do it.  Once you get over the hump of learning to cope and coming to terms with your fuck ups and fixing them as best you can, sobriety is pretty cool.

I kinda left this wall of text up for anyone wanting to get sober.  As a kid I thought being a drunk would be a dirty secret and the sober people would be out in the open, but it honestly feels the opposite to me.  The sober people are in secret clubs and are low key, the drunks are the ones with no shame.  There is no shame in being sober!  Making healthy choices is rad.  Bettering yourself, and being the best version of you, is something to be proud of.  I won't drink with y'all today.

Sobriety really is a gift. 
« Last Edit: May 27, 2024, 03:44:08 PM by Gnar_Gnar »
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Sleazy

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1018 on: May 27, 2024, 07:49:41 PM »
sorry for your loss @Gnar_Gnar . and hate to hear about the toxic people your having to navigate but sounds like it's more annoying than anything for you.

your story is really inspiring to read so big thanks for sharing. really love this part and feel the same way.

As a kid I thought being a drunk would be a dirty secret and the sober people would be out in the open, but it honestly feels the opposite to me.  The sober people are in secret clubs and are low key, the drunks are the ones with no shame.  There is no shame in being sober!  Making healthy choices is rad.  Bettering yourself, and being the best version of you, is something to be proud of.  I won't drink with y'all today.

Sobriety really is a gift. 

the more sober i get in my mindset the odder it seems to me that people just get wasted middle of day for no reason, etc.

a share from my side... i'm on a work call that started at 9pm on memorial day for this code that i'm taking over with my company . it's a huge deal and opportunity for my company, my family, our lifestyle, etc. before quitting drinking it would have been a huge deal and i probably would have done something unnecessarily risky like insisted that we do the call tomorrow feeling justified because it'd be ridiculous to think i wouldn't be drinking all day on a holiday. but without drinking i got up at 6:45, spent time with my dogs and wife on a long walk, went skated and had a fun session, picked up some stuff to grill and came home and hung out in the pool with my kids and dogs all day, went back to store and got supplies to make detroit pizza and then did movie night with the kids and watched mad max: fury road as we watched furosa on friday and the movie finished right at 9pm in time for my call. i feel great and what a day. if i was drinking my skate session would have sucked, i would have slept in latter, i would have been dreading this call all day if it was still scheduled. i probably would have drink and then passed out at 3 slept till 6-7, and then been in a shit mood while i waited for the call. definitely like the sober version of my day way better. call just finished going to watch some shogun with the wifey.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2024, 05:54:23 AM by Sleazy »

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Re: SOBRIETY
« Reply #1019 on: May 27, 2024, 08:13:13 PM »
I stopped keeping track..  it's been like 8 months or something for me?  I'm constantly surrounded by alcoholics and partiers though.  I got sober with my Mom after she started having kidney/liver failure from years of alcoholism.  Once she died, it really took the fun out of drinking.

Now that I'm sober, I'm seeing how much of drinking/partying is people running from problems and not knowing how to cope.  Oddly, the more I'm around drunks and partying, the less I want to do with that shit.  I used to think drinking + drugs = fun, but I'm realizing that I'm usually having the most fun out of everyone.  I love music, so it's pretty wild to be dancing and vibing stone sober though ha!

Energy levels are unbelievable.  Blood pressure is back on track.  Healthy diet, health looking good.  In the gym and feeling and looking good.  In my free time I've basically recorded a 12 track demo, relaunched my media business, got my finances under control, and took up a bunch of really fun hobbies.  It feels like I always have money because I'm not spending $$$ on booze and weed every night so it's been easy to invest in myself and my interests.

It's so nice waking up with no guilt or anxiety about being an idiot.  I thought getting sober would fuck up my art but it's actually made it way better because I'm actually releasing emotions and being fully present while creating and jamming.  My relationships are better, I feel like I'm in the drivers seat of life again.  I've had conversations and opportunities with people I wouldn't even dream about, and I left them feeling good!  I'm not constantly putting out fires.  I've been developing real connections with people that aren't centered on booze or getting the next fix.

I started to see how once you take booze and drugs out of the equation, a lot of partying really isn't even that fun.  It's pretty lame to be sitting around doing nothing getting wasted now.  I could be out exploring the world, making something beautiful, sharing a real moment with someone, growing my business, following a passion, developing a skill, but instead they're sitting there killing themselves slowly with poison and literally pissing away their money, to not remember it!

My problem is being expected to take care of everyone because I'm "sober".  Setting boundaries is tough with people you care about.  I've had to cut out people who couldn't get it together, were burning out, and were just toxic and miserable to be around.  Having to deal with jealousy and envy now too from bitter drunks who won't help themselves.  Seeing people close to you actually prefer you being fucked up because it makes them feel better about themselves is a tough one.  You get a front row, all access pass to peoples lives crumbling, while you're waking up stoked to get after life.  It's weird.  A lot of people come to me now asking what the secret is and when I tell them sobriety, they want to get sober but never do.  The answers are right in front of them but they can't do it.  Once you get over the hump of learning to cope and coming to terms with your fuck ups and fixing them as best you can, sobriety is pretty cool.

I kinda left this wall of text up for anyone wanting to get sober.  As a kid I thought being a drunk would be a dirty secret and the sober people would be out in the open, but it honestly feels the opposite to me.  The sober people are in secret clubs and are low key, the drunks are the ones with no shame.  There is no shame in being sober!  Making healthy choices is rad.  Bettering yourself, and being the best version of you, is something to be proud of.  I won't drink with y'all today.

Sobriety really is a gift.

Sorry about your mom, may she rest in peace.

I stopped for the 3 or 4th time over 2 years ago when my mom went to an inpatient rehab in another state for alcoholism. It was just no longer a good time for anybody.

A lot of what you write is very relatable, thanks for writing it.