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how the fuck did people discover bread?
i can MAYBE understand making flour, but the whole process of putting ALL that shit together for seemingly no reason, and then putting it into a super hot fire. makes NO fucking sense.
Same as all old foods. What about drinks like mead,ale,cider,wine,beer etc oh this foods gone completely off and disgusting I guess I'll drink it. Oh it also kinda tastes like total shit I guess I'll keep drinking more. I literally have poisoned myself and feel sick guess I'll just drink pretty much only this for the next 4 thousand years
holy shit. i didn't even think about that!
it is insane that alcohol use has prevailed as such a regular thing. you just get sick for a few hours, maybe it's enjoyable but you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what you said. weird as fuck how all of the things we consume now got discovered at all.
How about being the first to figure out how to make stuff out of metal? Would you have ever imagined that you could take some shiny shit you just dug up, make it really hot (which I’m sure wasn’t easy), melt it down and turn it into something else if you didn’t already know about it?
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It’s crazy how many of these ancient and medieval monarchs fought alongside their soldiers during battles. That would be like if we sent Joe Biden in to defuse IED’s in Afghanistan.
personally i find the discovery of metal somewhat easier to grasp. while it certainly wouldn't have been easy, it makes more sense creating tools out of metal. perhaps they cut it down rather than melting it at first, though that surely would have been difficult as well.
'hey grug'
'whats up ugg'
'i found this crazy shiny lump'
'oh shit whats up with that'
'i'm gonna smash a rock with it'
(ugg smashes a rock with the metal lump)
'holy fuck ugg that shiny lump is really something'
'we should use it grug, think of what we could achieve'
'you're right ugg, we can finally be the big bosses'
(grug and ugg kill and enslave with their shiny rocks and superior tools)
(as they sit on their thrones, grug and ugg reflect on their rise to power)
[THIS TIME, THE CONVERSATION BEGINS WITH GRUG]
'we made something pretty good here ugg'
'we're the strongest men around grug that's for sure'
'but are we the best men? think of all we COULD have done'
'what do you mean by that grug?'
'i mean, we made all this violence. while we are powerful, this might only be a fraction of what we could have achieved, if we used the shiny rocks differently'
'what are you saying grug'
'i'm saying that you're fucking evil!'
'hell yeah i am, i'm the baddest motherfucker around. grug, what are you doing? grug, stop that shit'
(grug bashes ugg over the head with the rock, and ugg perishes to the very thing that once brought him life)
DISCLAIMER: i don't speak caveman, so it might be a bit incorrect to history.