didn't get into any of the grad schools i applied to (huge waste of time and money), have been looking for a job for a month and a half now, running out of money blah blah.
what's really got me bummed is my dad. he was going to go visit my brother in hong kong but when he was getting checked out by the travel doctor they found a small tear in his aorta. if it rips he'll be dead in a couple seconds. needless to say he can't go see my brother (which is no huge deal) but there's nothing you can really do about this thing. it freaks me the fuck out because i don't know what i'd do without my dad and he could be gone in an instant. like all this bullshit with school and work is nothing if i don't have my dad. he's got to get his blood pressure down to heal this tear but trying to get him to chill out is impossible. he's got this attitude like if he doesn't live life at 100% there's no reason to live, which i sympathize with but he's not that old, he's just got to slow down and watch to make sure he's doesn't put too much stress on this thing. when his mom died he was convinced she just gave up so now i feel like he can't look this thing in the face and just wants to keep going full speed but i'm scared for him. he always told me when i was little that if he was ever incapacitated or super sick to snuff him out in the hospital, which is really only half a joke. i feel like i'm losing my dad either way.
Topic: real confessions (Read 1975682 times)